tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102310.post111802950133232198..comments2023-10-12T01:14:19.284-07:00Comments on Taking the Scenic Route to Joy: Just not rightLisa @ The Plain-Spoken Penhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15589278128659676715noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102310.post-1118071598542605962005-06-06T08:26:00.000-07:002005-06-06T08:26:00.000-07:00Thank you! :) You didn't ramble too much at all....Thank you! :) You didn't ramble too much at all. I am thankful that K and I get along so well, even if we don't seem to fit so well into the "marriage" mold. I have friends and family whose splits weren't nearly so amicable, and I'm thankful that I am OK with K coming over to spend time with J, that the three of us can still do things together. I'm hoping that will help J realize that daddy isn't gone from his life, he's just in a different house. And if J continues to take time away from K with the same equanimity he showed last night, I'll count myself fortunate.<BR/><BR/>I really don't think the marriage can work out at this point. We're friends, we're Julian's parents, but I think things have been said and things have happened that have effectively killed any "spark" that might once have existed. And I can't imagine a lifetime commitment without that spark. Not that it's the most important thing, but I think it would hurt J to see as his primary example of a marriage a situation where mama and daddy are just friends, nothing more. I think he'd be better off, as you said, seeing both of us happy, even if we're happy living in two different houses instead of together.<BR/><BR/>Last night was a moment. I've had some, I'll have more. I know that. But ultimately, I think this is all to the good for all three of us.<BR/><BR/>L.Lisa @ The Plain-Spoken Penhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15589278128659676715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102310.post-1118062994558957272005-06-06T06:03:00.000-07:002005-06-06T06:03:00.000-07:00Lisa-I understand your frustration on this post. ...Lisa-<BR/><BR/>I understand your frustration on this post. I separated from my ex-husband when my children were very young. My son was only 2 at the time. It is hard and will continue to be hard, no matter how well you two get along. My ex and I are very good friends. We can talk to each other and what not. I still think about the days when I left him and the kids crying because they wanted to see their daddy and didn't understand that daddy couldn't stay with us. <BR/><BR/>If your marriage is something that you think you could work out, that is obviously in the best interest of your child. But if it's not something that could be worked out, the best interest of your son is to see his parents in a happy, healthy, living situation. In my case, it had been years of sadness and my ex being a workaholic. He wasn't willing to make those changes and I wasn't willing to go back to that situation. I knew that the best thing for me to do was move on. It sucked. I had a major blow everytime one of the kids would cry for their daddy. But now, 3 years later, their dad is remarried and still a workaholic. I, too, am remarried to a man who puts his family first and makes time to spend with us. For my kids to see me happy is the best thing for them. Even if it doesn't include their dad and I being together. We've committed as parents to get along and make the best decisions for the sake of the kids and that is what's really important. <BR/><BR/>Hope I didn't ramble too much. I feel for you, I've been there and it's tough.Frustrated Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15909830535673563630noreply@blogger.com