Well, I didn't have to jump back into the daily grind today. Little Bit started running a fever yesterday and had a head full of goopy green snot, so I stayed home and took him to the doctor. Bless his little punkin head, he's got another sinus infection. I'll be glad when we can have him tested for allergies. Until then, it's been recommended that we try Zyrtec, so we'll see if that can help keep him cleared up more often than not.
I don't think I'm cut out to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, at least not while I've got one younger than school-age. That probably sounds funny, as I expect that's when a lot of women would love to stay home, when their babies are small. I love this age (although I will be glad when he gets past the stage where he thinks pulling things off of shelves is the height of entertainment), don't get me wrong, but I think our daycare does a much better job of providing educational opportunities and helping Little Bit learn to socialize than I could if it were left solely up to me. I would love to be able to stay home when both my kids are in school, though. I could volunteer for things at their schools, be here when they get in, and have dinner ready at a sensible hour more often than not (unlike now). Today I picked J up from school. By the time Brian got home, he was finished with his homework, and dinner was indeed well underway. Little Bit was a howling clingy fussy mess, but that's attributable to him not getting much sleep last night and not getting a good nap today (thank you, cough and congestion!). There's something to be said for being a domestic goddess. Sadly, I think my opportunities to do that will be few and far between, and I don't think it will ever work out to be a long-term thing for me.
And tomorrow it really is back to the daily grind. *sigh* Would that it could be otherwise, but it can't, so I guess I'll go off to my job and be thankful for it.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Monday, September 06, 2010
Too bad it can't be like this every day.
Brian and I were both off today for Labor Day, and of course there was no school, so we were all home. It was a pretty nice weekend. Yesterday I made chocolate cake. The day started off rough - Thing Two woke up early and didn't sleep well the rest of the night. I ended up sitting up in the rocking chair with him for about two hours before he finally decided he was awake, and this was after Brian spent about an hour trying to get him back to sleep. But he finally crashed and took a three-hour nap. Brian and I worked on rearranging the living room while he slept, and J played video games. This afternoon we went to Half Price Books and out for frozen custard, and when we got home, I baked some bread (OK, I didn't do it all from scratch, I used the bread machine, but it still beats the heck out of store-bought bread.) There were a couple of rough patches - tired boys get grumpy, and Thing Two conked his head on a table at church yesterday and gave himself a good goose egg - but overall, it was a nice, fairly relaxing weekend.
I wish it could be like this all the time. I wish that tomorrow didn't bring with it an early alarm going off, and a leap back into the rat race. I wish I could be home every day, doing for my family instead of doing for some company's bottom line. Yeah, I know, I do for them by working and providing. But it's not the same as being here, making sure we have clean clothes and hot meals and a welcoming home to come back to every evening. Sadly, though, unless we win the lotto or come into a big inheritance someday, I don't see that ever happening. So, I'll try to make the best of the relaxing moments at home that I do have.
I wish it could be like this all the time. I wish that tomorrow didn't bring with it an early alarm going off, and a leap back into the rat race. I wish I could be home every day, doing for my family instead of doing for some company's bottom line. Yeah, I know, I do for them by working and providing. But it's not the same as being here, making sure we have clean clothes and hot meals and a welcoming home to come back to every evening. Sadly, though, unless we win the lotto or come into a big inheritance someday, I don't see that ever happening. So, I'll try to make the best of the relaxing moments at home that I do have.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Little Bit's first haircut
He's fifteen months old now, almost sixteen (can you believe?!) and we figured it was time for his first haircut. He did pretty well - better than his brother, that's for sure. LOL A few pictures:
Monday, October 26, 2009
It's time
After much consideration, I've decided it's time to call it quits with Bright Blessings. The website will come down after Oct. 31, and the Etsy shop will be put on vacation. I'll probably reopen briefly once I see what I have on hand after Oct. 31, just to list all the in-stock items and try to clear them out, and after that, I'll be on vacation for an indefinite length of time. After that, this will be strictly a hobby for me - no more selling. For one, I've got two kids who will only be little once, and for two, I think the good Lord is trying to tell me that this isn't how He intends to provide for us. I don't know how He *does* intend to provide for us, but I don't have to know that, I don't reckon.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Catching up
Since I'm up before the alarm clock went off, I thought I'd try to catch up a bit!
Let's see, what all has happened since last I blogged?
Julian is now seven years old.
We didn't have a big party this year - he didn't really seem interested like he has in years past. We just went out to dinner and let him pick the restaurant (he opted for Italian). We had a birthday cake at home - Star Wars, one of his favorites:
He got lots of presents from us, and from his dad, and from grandparents. It was a low-key day, but a good one. Happy seventh birthday, my big boy!
Rhys is now three months old:
He'd gotten to where he was sleeping nine hours at a stretch, but a bout with worse-than-usual congestion knocked that right out of whack, and he was waking up every hour to two hours there for a few days. That was no fun, let me tell you. Last night he slept for over eight hours, though, so I'm hopeful that we're moving back toward that nice long stretch of sleep. He's not a chatty baby - he doesn't make a lot of cooing and gurgling sounds, although he does make them. But he laughs. Not a big belly laugh yet, but if I do something that entertains him, he'll go, "ha!" and just get a big ol' grin on his face. (I've discovered that he finds chicken noises the height of hilarity.) I love baby laughs. When he went to the doctor for the congestion, he weighed in at 16 pounds, 13 ounces. He's outgrowing his clothes at a record rate. I can't even think of buying fall/winter clothes yet, because I have no idea what size he'll be!
I went back to work on July 10. Apparently I was missed, which is always a good thing. (I'm hoping the fact that people came to appreciate me in my absence might translate itself into some kind of raise this year, but given the industry I work in, I'm not counting on it.) It hasn't been terrible being back, although it makes me really sad to think that I'll likely never have a long stretch of time off to spend with the boys again.
Julian is now going to summer camp, and Rhys is in daycare. They're both at the same place, which makes drop-off and pick-up easier. I try not to think too hard about the fact that Rhys is in someone else's care for nearly half of every day. If I were to let myself think about it, I'd just cry. It's not quite so hard with Julian, because he's school-age and would be in school for a big chunk of the day even if I were home. But Rhys could be home with me, if only I could be home. I struggle with this a lot, even knowing that I'm not sure I'm temperamentally cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. I hate that my kids are and will be pushed into being somewhere and doing something on all their school breaks. I hate thinking that they won't get summers like I used to have as a kid, where you didn't have to be in a rush to get up and get moving so mama could drop you off at day camp on her way to the office, where you could sleep in if you wanted and where you didn't have to do anything in particular if you didn't feel like it. I want that for my kids, and I don't think it will ever happen, and that makes me sad.
And now that I'm all maudlin this morning, let me finish this up and go get dressed for work. So begins another day in the rat race.
Let's see, what all has happened since last I blogged?
Julian is now seven years old.
We didn't have a big party this year - he didn't really seem interested like he has in years past. We just went out to dinner and let him pick the restaurant (he opted for Italian). We had a birthday cake at home - Star Wars, one of his favorites:
He got lots of presents from us, and from his dad, and from grandparents. It was a low-key day, but a good one. Happy seventh birthday, my big boy!
Rhys is now three months old:
He'd gotten to where he was sleeping nine hours at a stretch, but a bout with worse-than-usual congestion knocked that right out of whack, and he was waking up every hour to two hours there for a few days. That was no fun, let me tell you. Last night he slept for over eight hours, though, so I'm hopeful that we're moving back toward that nice long stretch of sleep. He's not a chatty baby - he doesn't make a lot of cooing and gurgling sounds, although he does make them. But he laughs. Not a big belly laugh yet, but if I do something that entertains him, he'll go, "ha!" and just get a big ol' grin on his face. (I've discovered that he finds chicken noises the height of hilarity.) I love baby laughs. When he went to the doctor for the congestion, he weighed in at 16 pounds, 13 ounces. He's outgrowing his clothes at a record rate. I can't even think of buying fall/winter clothes yet, because I have no idea what size he'll be!
I went back to work on July 10. Apparently I was missed, which is always a good thing. (I'm hoping the fact that people came to appreciate me in my absence might translate itself into some kind of raise this year, but given the industry I work in, I'm not counting on it.) It hasn't been terrible being back, although it makes me really sad to think that I'll likely never have a long stretch of time off to spend with the boys again.
Julian is now going to summer camp, and Rhys is in daycare. They're both at the same place, which makes drop-off and pick-up easier. I try not to think too hard about the fact that Rhys is in someone else's care for nearly half of every day. If I were to let myself think about it, I'd just cry. It's not quite so hard with Julian, because he's school-age and would be in school for a big chunk of the day even if I were home. But Rhys could be home with me, if only I could be home. I struggle with this a lot, even knowing that I'm not sure I'm temperamentally cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. I hate that my kids are and will be pushed into being somewhere and doing something on all their school breaks. I hate thinking that they won't get summers like I used to have as a kid, where you didn't have to be in a rush to get up and get moving so mama could drop you off at day camp on her way to the office, where you could sleep in if you wanted and where you didn't have to do anything in particular if you didn't feel like it. I want that for my kids, and I don't think it will ever happen, and that makes me sad.
And now that I'm all maudlin this morning, let me finish this up and go get dressed for work. So begins another day in the rat race.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Birthday party planning
Thanks to those of you who posted comments on my last post - I'm sorry there are others out there struggling with financial woes, but in some way, it helps knowing we aren't alone. And it helps, too, knowing I'm not the only one who struggles with really letting go and trusting God to work.
Birthday party thoughts: We're trying to think of money-saving ideas for Julian's party this year. It will be after I've gone to work and we've started paying through the nose for summer camp and daycare, so it's not like we'll be flush with cash. We'd thought of getting a five-pack of tickets to a local water park (which costs about $105 and includes food and unlimited drinks) for me, Brian, Julian and two of his friends, and making it something small that he could enjoy, rather than a big to-do at Pump It Up or Chuck E. Cheese or whatever. (As an added bonus, this way we wouldn't get a ton of presents from his friends that often just get overlooked in the mess of toys around here.) I mentioned this to J's dad, and he said he was sure Julian would be glad to have his four stepsiblings there. I wanted to ask him, "Um, are you planning on buying their tickets?" Because I wasn't planning on 1) having J's stepsiblings as the only party guests (if his dad is thinking the five tickets are for five kids total, instead of for the two s and three kids we'd thought of), or 2) shelling out a good bit extra for tickets and food for four more guests (if I'm paying that much, I might as well go to Pump It Up). Not sure how exactly I'll address this with his dad, especially as I know Julian will be invited to the joint party for his three younger stepsiblings (who all have July birthdays).
And along those lines, if we do go with the water park idea, would it be tacky to put a note in the invitation to this effect for parents: "We will be meeting at the front gate at such-and-such time. You are welcome to drop your child off and return at such-and-such time, when we will be at the front gate preparing to leave, or if you would like to attend with your child, you are welcome to purchase your own ticket." I have no problem with parents either dropping off or coming with, but I wouldn't want parents to think we were paying for their tickets. That would REALLY get expensive in a hurry, even if it were only for two or three parents.
Birthday party thoughts: We're trying to think of money-saving ideas for Julian's party this year. It will be after I've gone to work and we've started paying through the nose for summer camp and daycare, so it's not like we'll be flush with cash. We'd thought of getting a five-pack of tickets to a local water park (which costs about $105 and includes food and unlimited drinks) for me, Brian, Julian and two of his friends, and making it something small that he could enjoy, rather than a big to-do at Pump It Up or Chuck E. Cheese or whatever. (As an added bonus, this way we wouldn't get a ton of presents from his friends that often just get overlooked in the mess of toys around here.) I mentioned this to J's dad, and he said he was sure Julian would be glad to have his four stepsiblings there. I wanted to ask him, "Um, are you planning on buying their tickets?" Because I wasn't planning on 1) having J's stepsiblings as the only party guests (if his dad is thinking the five tickets are for five kids total, instead of for the two s and three kids we'd thought of), or 2) shelling out a good bit extra for tickets and food for four more guests (if I'm paying that much, I might as well go to Pump It Up). Not sure how exactly I'll address this with his dad, especially as I know Julian will be invited to the joint party for his three younger stepsiblings (who all have July birthdays).
And along those lines, if we do go with the water park idea, would it be tacky to put a note in the invitation to this effect for parents: "We will be meeting at the front gate at such-and-such time. You are welcome to drop your child off and return at such-and-such time, when we will be at the front gate preparing to leave, or if you would like to attend with your child, you are welcome to purchase your own ticket." I have no problem with parents either dropping off or coming with, but I wouldn't want parents to think we were paying for their tickets. That would REALLY get expensive in a hurry, even if it were only for two or three parents.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Rhys is here, and we're home!
Rhys Daniel was born on April 17, 2009 at 8:32 AM. He weighed 8 lb. 10 oz. and was 20.5 inches long. (For comparison, Julian weighed 8 lb. 8 oz. and was 20.25 inches long. Pretty close, huh?) He came out screaming - no question that his lungs worked! LOL We were in the hospital until Monday, April 20, and then we came home. A few pictures for your viewing enjoyment:
I die of the cuteness.
Yep, my lungs work!
Bonding with Daddy.
Ready to go home.
Daddy loves me!
"What is this, and did I say you could bring it home?"
Hanging out in my crib.
First bath - not crazy about the idea.
Mmm, fingers! Tasty!
I'm still moving a bit slowly, but getting better. I have my first follow-up with my doctor on May 4. I'll be able to drive by then, woo! (I had to laugh - I told Julian I wouldn't be able to drive for two weeks, and he looked at me with this astounded expression on his face and said, "Well, who'll be able to do it, then?!" LOL I reminded him that Brian could drive, too.) I'll be glad when I can sleep comfortably on my side again.
Brian's mom came to stay for the better part of a week. It was wonderful having the help, and Rhys got to spend time with Nana. I know she loved that!
Rhys had his first doctor's appointment last Friday. He's up to 8 lb. 13 oz., and he handled the whole check-up thing pretty well. So far he's been a pretty laid-back kid. He actually sat in his bouncy seat for a while one day, just content to hang out. Vastly different from Julian, who wanted nothing other than mama to pack him around all the time. I joked that I felt like I was neglecting Rhys because I wasn't holding him constantly! LOL
He has had a couple of fussy days, most notably last night, that have made us think we may be better off going with soy-based formula. Julian had to have the soy as well, and last night was such a screamfest and so out of character for Rhys' normal demeanor (I know, I know, hard to judge "normal" after only eight days, and newborns are subject to change without notice) that we figured the soy was worth a try. It's seemed to help so far, which is good - it just hurt my heart to hear him screaming last night and not to be able to figure out anything to help him or to make things better.
I'm off work until July 10. I'm sure it will fly right by, and I'll be back to work before I know it. So I'm going to try to cherish every minute of this time with Rhys.
I die of the cuteness.
Yep, my lungs work!
Bonding with Daddy.
Ready to go home.
Daddy loves me!
"What is this, and did I say you could bring it home?"
Hanging out in my crib.
First bath - not crazy about the idea.
Mmm, fingers! Tasty!
I'm still moving a bit slowly, but getting better. I have my first follow-up with my doctor on May 4. I'll be able to drive by then, woo! (I had to laugh - I told Julian I wouldn't be able to drive for two weeks, and he looked at me with this astounded expression on his face and said, "Well, who'll be able to do it, then?!" LOL I reminded him that Brian could drive, too.) I'll be glad when I can sleep comfortably on my side again.
Brian's mom came to stay for the better part of a week. It was wonderful having the help, and Rhys got to spend time with Nana. I know she loved that!
Rhys had his first doctor's appointment last Friday. He's up to 8 lb. 13 oz., and he handled the whole check-up thing pretty well. So far he's been a pretty laid-back kid. He actually sat in his bouncy seat for a while one day, just content to hang out. Vastly different from Julian, who wanted nothing other than mama to pack him around all the time. I joked that I felt like I was neglecting Rhys because I wasn't holding him constantly! LOL
He has had a couple of fussy days, most notably last night, that have made us think we may be better off going with soy-based formula. Julian had to have the soy as well, and last night was such a screamfest and so out of character for Rhys' normal demeanor (I know, I know, hard to judge "normal" after only eight days, and newborns are subject to change without notice) that we figured the soy was worth a try. It's seemed to help so far, which is good - it just hurt my heart to hear him screaming last night and not to be able to figure out anything to help him or to make things better.
I'm off work until July 10. I'm sure it will fly right by, and I'll be back to work before I know it. So I'm going to try to cherish every minute of this time with Rhys.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Pain and regret
I feel awful. I started having stomach pains on Sunday night. Sunday night and Tuesday night, Phenergan helped and let me sleep. The stomach pain returned last night, and this time Phenergan didn't help. I barely slept, and I'm a raging grump today. The pain is upper abdominal, not lower abdominal like cramping or needing to go to the bathroom, so I worry that something has gone wrong with my lap-band. If that's the case, I don't know what will be done or what could be done, given that I'm pregnant. Curiously, though, the pain only flares up at night (and not every night - it gave Monday night a miss).
And because I felt bad, I was short-tempered with Julian this morning. I explained to him that I really didn't feel good and that's why I was crabby, but still. I feel bad about that. The overdramatic part of me worries, what if this pain is something that requires surgery and something goes horribly wrong, and the last thing Julian remembers me saying to him is fussing for not being ready to get out of the car when we got up to the drop-off point at school? I regret that I couldn't keep a better handle on myself and make my words to Julian this morning kind ones, pain and tiredness notwithstanding.
I just want to feel better, and for the baby and me to both be OK after whatever it takes to help me feel better.
And because I felt bad, I was short-tempered with Julian this morning. I explained to him that I really didn't feel good and that's why I was crabby, but still. I feel bad about that. The overdramatic part of me worries, what if this pain is something that requires surgery and something goes horribly wrong, and the last thing Julian remembers me saying to him is fussing for not being ready to get out of the car when we got up to the drop-off point at school? I regret that I couldn't keep a better handle on myself and make my words to Julian this morning kind ones, pain and tiredness notwithstanding.
I just want to feel better, and for the baby and me to both be OK after whatever it takes to help me feel better.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Today, I got nothin'.
No witty title, that is.
Yesterday was another less-than-stellar day for J. The note from the teacher said she had to ask him ten times to sit down and do his classwork, and he didn't finish it. I told him he was lucky she didn't just wash her hands of it and send him to the office. So we had to finish the work at home last night. Oh, the drama. He screamed and cried and said it was too much and that he couldn't do it. And when he finally sat down and did it, it didn't take long at all.
I'm learning that J needs lots of hands-on attention with his work - he's not internally motivated like I was as a kid. He got through his work a lot quicker with me sitting there encouraging him and telling him he could do it. As he went, he saw that he was in fact doing it and then he probably could have finished it up on his own. But he needed that push, that encouragement from me to get started. How can I help him learn that he can do things, he just needs to jump in and start and keep on going until he's done?
I e-mailed his teacher today. I explained about Brian's job and the fact that he was due home this week, and said that perhaps that had something to do with why J has had such a hard time staying focused this week. I told her I appreciated her letting me know what's going on with him, and let her know we're working at home to address the issues as well. I don't want her thinking J's parents just let him run wild, and I want her to know that we can work together to help J do well in school. This is just so foreign to me. I would no more have gotten out of my seat in class when it wasn't time to do so than I would have jumped off the roof of the school. I hope I'm handling it OK.
In other news, I get to ring handbells! I'd signed up on a list expressing interest back in June, and the director of the advanced handbell choir called. They have two openings, and since they practice at 4:45 on Sundays and there are activities for the kids from 5:00 until 7:00 on Sundays, it looks like I'll give it a shot! I'm so excited. I love handbells, and the logistics of me ringing just didn't work out when I was single - J didn't want to go to Sunday school, and didn't want to sit by himself in the congregation during the times when we rang, so that didn't leave many options. (One time he came and sat by my feet behind the handbell tables while we rang.) But now that he's older, I'm hoping he'll be better able to be somewhere without me and make friends and give me a chance to do something I enjoy.
And Brian is home! Yay!!! He got home a bit after 8:00 last night. So, six more sleeps before he starts it all over again. He went to sub training this morning, and he said that given what he's doing now (working with middle school and high school kids with behavioral issues), he'll take middle school assignments as well as older elementary. Hopefully that will open the door to more sub work for him, and hopefully that will ultimately open the door to a job closer to home.
Yesterday was another less-than-stellar day for J. The note from the teacher said she had to ask him ten times to sit down and do his classwork, and he didn't finish it. I told him he was lucky she didn't just wash her hands of it and send him to the office. So we had to finish the work at home last night. Oh, the drama. He screamed and cried and said it was too much and that he couldn't do it. And when he finally sat down and did it, it didn't take long at all.
I'm learning that J needs lots of hands-on attention with his work - he's not internally motivated like I was as a kid. He got through his work a lot quicker with me sitting there encouraging him and telling him he could do it. As he went, he saw that he was in fact doing it and then he probably could have finished it up on his own. But he needed that push, that encouragement from me to get started. How can I help him learn that he can do things, he just needs to jump in and start and keep on going until he's done?
I e-mailed his teacher today. I explained about Brian's job and the fact that he was due home this week, and said that perhaps that had something to do with why J has had such a hard time staying focused this week. I told her I appreciated her letting me know what's going on with him, and let her know we're working at home to address the issues as well. I don't want her thinking J's parents just let him run wild, and I want her to know that we can work together to help J do well in school. This is just so foreign to me. I would no more have gotten out of my seat in class when it wasn't time to do so than I would have jumped off the roof of the school. I hope I'm handling it OK.
In other news, I get to ring handbells! I'd signed up on a list expressing interest back in June, and the director of the advanced handbell choir called. They have two openings, and since they practice at 4:45 on Sundays and there are activities for the kids from 5:00 until 7:00 on Sundays, it looks like I'll give it a shot! I'm so excited. I love handbells, and the logistics of me ringing just didn't work out when I was single - J didn't want to go to Sunday school, and didn't want to sit by himself in the congregation during the times when we rang, so that didn't leave many options. (One time he came and sat by my feet behind the handbell tables while we rang.) But now that he's older, I'm hoping he'll be better able to be somewhere without me and make friends and give me a chance to do something I enjoy.
And Brian is home! Yay!!! He got home a bit after 8:00 last night. So, six more sleeps before he starts it all over again. He went to sub training this morning, and he said that given what he's doing now (working with middle school and high school kids with behavioral issues), he'll take middle school assignments as well as older elementary. Hopefully that will open the door to more sub work for him, and hopefully that will ultimately open the door to a job closer to home.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
And what was that I said?
I believe I said this just a few weeks ago, on August 14:
Tying that in to the Lone Star interview - how funny would it be (and I don't mean funny ha-ha) if God, in His infinite wisdom, decided that now would be a perfect time for me to get pregnant? I think I'd pull my hair out. I'd be excited, and scared, and all that good stuff, but I'd pull my hair out in absolute frustration at the timing, especially if Brian gets the job. But again, I'll jump off that bridge if I get to it. I'm not there yet.
Well, I'm there. LOL Brian did indeed accept the Lone Star job, as it was the only one that offered and he needed a job (and we needed the paycheck). It's got its pros and cons, like any other job. Pros: it's a job, it's a paycheck, and Brian is excited about it. He feels like he may have more of an opportunity to make a difference in a child's life there than he would in a traditional classroom, and I know he's excited about not being limited by the approved curriculum of a traditional classroom setting. Cons: Well, it's three hours away, and he's gone for eight days at a time. Those are pretty big cons, but not big enough to outweigh the benefit of a paycheck. I did the single mom thing before, and I wasn't crazy about it then - it's even more of a challenge now when when I come home so tired that I can barely keep my head up. There were a couple of teaching positions that came open at the last minute, right before Brian had to make a decision on Lone Star, and he applied, but nothing came of them. So he's working for Lone Star for the time being, and he'll keep taking substitute positions as they come up on his off days, and doing his best to make a good impression at local campuses. Brian is hoping to find something close to home come February or March, closer to when the baby is due, when he'll really need it. But right now, for reasons I can't fathom, God must want Brian at Lone Star, so that's where he is. We'll just have to have faith that things are working out as they're meant to.
And on a completely unrelated note, I was just listening to Randy Travis, and it made me think of my mother. She sure did love Randy Travis, and I sure do miss her. Now her second grandchild is on the way, and I wish she could be here.
Tying that in to the Lone Star interview - how funny would it be (and I don't mean funny ha-ha) if God, in His infinite wisdom, decided that now would be a perfect time for me to get pregnant? I think I'd pull my hair out. I'd be excited, and scared, and all that good stuff, but I'd pull my hair out in absolute frustration at the timing, especially if Brian gets the job. But again, I'll jump off that bridge if I get to it. I'm not there yet.
Well, I'm there. LOL Brian did indeed accept the Lone Star job, as it was the only one that offered and he needed a job (and we needed the paycheck). It's got its pros and cons, like any other job. Pros: it's a job, it's a paycheck, and Brian is excited about it. He feels like he may have more of an opportunity to make a difference in a child's life there than he would in a traditional classroom, and I know he's excited about not being limited by the approved curriculum of a traditional classroom setting. Cons: Well, it's three hours away, and he's gone for eight days at a time. Those are pretty big cons, but not big enough to outweigh the benefit of a paycheck. I did the single mom thing before, and I wasn't crazy about it then - it's even more of a challenge now when when I come home so tired that I can barely keep my head up. There were a couple of teaching positions that came open at the last minute, right before Brian had to make a decision on Lone Star, and he applied, but nothing came of them. So he's working for Lone Star for the time being, and he'll keep taking substitute positions as they come up on his off days, and doing his best to make a good impression at local campuses. Brian is hoping to find something close to home come February or March, closer to when the baby is due, when he'll really need it. But right now, for reasons I can't fathom, God must want Brian at Lone Star, so that's where he is. We'll just have to have faith that things are working out as they're meant to.
And on a completely unrelated note, I was just listening to Randy Travis, and it made me think of my mother. She sure did love Randy Travis, and I sure do miss her. Now her second grandchild is on the way, and I wish she could be here.
Friday, September 05, 2008
One of life's little surprises
Well, I don't guess this is exactly a little surprise:
Rather a big one, in fact! But yes, there will be an addition to the family come late April or so. It got to where my cycle was longer than usual, and I figured it was either pregnancy or pre-menopause, so I peed on a stick. Honestly, I was expecting it to just be another trick played on me by an aging body. Nope!
And what's funny - back in May I'd gone to see my RE (reproductive endocrinologist, for those of you unfamiliar with the abbreviation), to see about getting some help in the getting pregnant department. I never followed up, and just a week and a half before I tested, Brian and I had talked about this very thing. He didn't have a job at the time, and we talked about how we really didn't have the income to pursue medical intervention, and I said I wasn't really sure I could go through the process again without knowing it would work (because there are no guarantees, you know). I knew what to expect if we went through those hoops again, and I really didn't think I wanted to go there. It was a good talk, and we came to the conclusion that yes, it would be nice to have a child, but we weren't going to force it. If it happened, it happened. Well, it happened!
I called my doctor's office right away, given the issues I had with J. My doc had me in for bloodwork twice, and everything looked good - my progesterone was around 24, and my hCG went up nicely, just like it's supposed to. (A couple of people have speculated as to whether I'm having twins - I sincerely hope not, one healthy baby will be plenty for us, thanks!) I go for my first official visit on September 18. Being as I'm 40 and all, I fall very solidly into the "advanced maternal age" category, and I'm hoping that gets me a few extra peeks at the little one.
The grandparents are all thrilled, and all the grandmothers are hoping for a girl. LOL Me, I don't much care, as long as at the end of it all, there's a healthy baby and a healthy me. We've told J, and he suggested we name the baby "Sandwich". Mmm, no. He's also informed me that he'll have a baby sister, but she'll have to learn to play with boy toys, because there's not going to be any girly stuff in his house! LOL Yeah, we'll just see how that goes, kiddo.
Rather a big one, in fact! But yes, there will be an addition to the family come late April or so. It got to where my cycle was longer than usual, and I figured it was either pregnancy or pre-menopause, so I peed on a stick. Honestly, I was expecting it to just be another trick played on me by an aging body. Nope!
And what's funny - back in May I'd gone to see my RE (reproductive endocrinologist, for those of you unfamiliar with the abbreviation), to see about getting some help in the getting pregnant department. I never followed up, and just a week and a half before I tested, Brian and I had talked about this very thing. He didn't have a job at the time, and we talked about how we really didn't have the income to pursue medical intervention, and I said I wasn't really sure I could go through the process again without knowing it would work (because there are no guarantees, you know). I knew what to expect if we went through those hoops again, and I really didn't think I wanted to go there. It was a good talk, and we came to the conclusion that yes, it would be nice to have a child, but we weren't going to force it. If it happened, it happened. Well, it happened!
I called my doctor's office right away, given the issues I had with J. My doc had me in for bloodwork twice, and everything looked good - my progesterone was around 24, and my hCG went up nicely, just like it's supposed to. (A couple of people have speculated as to whether I'm having twins - I sincerely hope not, one healthy baby will be plenty for us, thanks!) I go for my first official visit on September 18. Being as I'm 40 and all, I fall very solidly into the "advanced maternal age" category, and I'm hoping that gets me a few extra peeks at the little one.
The grandparents are all thrilled, and all the grandmothers are hoping for a girl. LOL Me, I don't much care, as long as at the end of it all, there's a healthy baby and a healthy me. We've told J, and he suggested we name the baby "Sandwich". Mmm, no. He's also informed me that he'll have a baby sister, but she'll have to learn to play with boy toys, because there's not going to be any girly stuff in his house! LOL Yeah, we'll just see how that goes, kiddo.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Interviews and growing up
Brian called after his interview with Mansfield ISD this morning. His interview today wasn't for a specific position or with a specific campus. He met with two groups of three people, and those two groups will rate him on a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being the best). The candidates from the interview process who score either a 4 or 5 will have their resumes forwarded on to individual campuses for consideration for specific positions. Brian said he felt like it went well, and said he'd be really surprised if he didn't get a 4 or 5. He's one of the few men interviewing, which may work in his favor. They'll be forwarding resumes on within a couple of weeks, so that's when Brian can start expecting that he might hear something. So, now we wait some more! But it sounds like it went well for him, and I'm glad.
Still no word from Midlothian ISD about teaching positions, but it may be that we hear more once the school year is over. I'm trying not to stress about that, and in the meantime, we keep our eyes and ears open for opportunities.
J went to sleep by himself last night! With the door to his room closed (his choice)! He's never been a good sleeper, he's always wanted mama right there with him, so this is HUGE. We were reading and he said he wanted to turn off the light, so I did. He laid there for a minute or two and then asked me to turn on his little lantern and said he could go to sleep by himself. So I turned on the lantern, tucked him him, and left the room. In a few minutes he came out to where Brian and I were sitting on the couch. I asked him what he needed, and he said, "Nothing, I just wanted to give you a hug." Sweet boy. He went back to bed, and we heard the door close. Then we heard it open, and J came back out to the living room. He asked me to come tuck him in, and he wanted the little lantern off because he saw his reflection in the window and it scared him. So I tucked him in and asked if he wanted me to go, and he said, "Yes, but give me your hand for a minute." So I did, and he held onto my hand for a little bit, and then told me to go and shut the door, and said good night to me, and I said good night to him. I left the room and shut the door, and he went to sleep all by himself. I'm so proud of him. I know growing up can be tough to do sometimes, but I think last night was a big step for him.
I'm trying to do better about making notes of the things J does that I really want to remember when he's grown. Here's one: In the mornings we'll get up, and I'll tell him to surprise me and get dressed while I'm taking my shower. When I'm out of the shower, he'll come running into the room, with his hands up in the air, yelling, "Surprise!" And yes, he'll be dressed - that's the surprise. LOL
Still no word from Midlothian ISD about teaching positions, but it may be that we hear more once the school year is over. I'm trying not to stress about that, and in the meantime, we keep our eyes and ears open for opportunities.
J went to sleep by himself last night! With the door to his room closed (his choice)! He's never been a good sleeper, he's always wanted mama right there with him, so this is HUGE. We were reading and he said he wanted to turn off the light, so I did. He laid there for a minute or two and then asked me to turn on his little lantern and said he could go to sleep by himself. So I turned on the lantern, tucked him him, and left the room. In a few minutes he came out to where Brian and I were sitting on the couch. I asked him what he needed, and he said, "Nothing, I just wanted to give you a hug." Sweet boy. He went back to bed, and we heard the door close. Then we heard it open, and J came back out to the living room. He asked me to come tuck him in, and he wanted the little lantern off because he saw his reflection in the window and it scared him. So I tucked him in and asked if he wanted me to go, and he said, "Yes, but give me your hand for a minute." So I did, and he held onto my hand for a little bit, and then told me to go and shut the door, and said good night to me, and I said good night to him. I left the room and shut the door, and he went to sleep all by himself. I'm so proud of him. I know growing up can be tough to do sometimes, but I think last night was a big step for him.
I'm trying to do better about making notes of the things J does that I really want to remember when he's grown. Here's one: In the mornings we'll get up, and I'll tell him to surprise me and get dressed while I'm taking my shower. When I'm out of the shower, he'll come running into the room, with his hands up in the air, yelling, "Surprise!" And yes, he'll be dressed - that's the surprise. LOL
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Pray hard!
Pray hard, think good thoughts, light candles, whatever works for you. Elementary positions have just (as in today - as of yesterday, they were internal only) opened up to all applicants at three of the elementary schools in town. Brian has already sent in his applications. I hope something works out!!!!! Twitch. Fidget. It would be such a relief to have something lined up for him full-time.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
So much going on, I don't know where to start!
Let's see if I can give some nutshell versions of what's going on:
~Brian is all moved in! Yay! We moved the last of his stuff up last Sunday. Now we're trying to bring order out of chaos, cleaning out and dejunking in a major way so we can get it organized for once and for all. No more half-assed shoving stuff in closets just so we can't see it. We are cleaning out the crap. We're planning a garage sale on April 26. J did well with the moving - he got whiny and crabby after a while, but he really was a good helper before he was worn out. He's thrilled that Oscar (Brian's cat) is at the house - he adores her (more on that later).
~J got his third Home-Gram at the after-school program this week - four or five time-outs for talking when he shouldn't have been, not sitting still, not listening, and for calling a parent fat. As it's his third, I now need to call the program director (I've left two messages for her now, and haven't gotten a return call, so apparently it's not *that* important that she speak to me, or I'd have expected a call back by now). He and I had a talk about a lot of things after this, and like he always does when he thinks I'm mad at him, he just burst into tears and became a sobbing mess. On the way home, we decided to order pizza for dinner. He started crying a few minutes after I'd called to order it because he didn't want cheese pizza, he wanted to cook something at home. I asked him what he wanted to fix at home, and he said he couldn't tell me. I told him that I couldn't fix what he wanted if I didn't know what it was, and he started howling that he didn't want to cook at home, he wanted to go eat somewhere because that was better. *sigh* He sobbed most of the way home. After we got home, I gave him half a juice glass of Dr Pepper and he calmed down almost immediately. He sat still all the way through dinner and ate a good solid meal rather than getting up every two or three bites and running off to do something else. He did what I asked without balking like he usually does. He played quietly with his Bionicles after dinner and wasn't all over the map with the "mama, mama, LOOK, come SEE, heyIfoundthisreallycoolBioniclevideoandweneedtowatchittwenty-seventimes" like he usually is in the evenings. It was amazing. I'd started the caffeine experiment because I'd read that caffeine may be helpful in kids with ADHD, and I didn't have any formal diagnosis on that, but I figured the caffeine would either send him into overdrive or it would help. Apparently it helps. Read on....
~A couple of weeks ago, J's teacher and I both filled out Conner's surveys to look for ADHD characteristics. The school counselor scored them, and we went over the results yesterday. J's issues don't rise to the level of a DSM-IV diagnosis, but he scored highly enough (primarily in hyperactivity/impulsivity) that the counselor felt he could benefit from treatment. She gave us a list of psychologists and psychiatrists that she's familiar with, and we talked about the possibility of medicine and about behavior modification. She said we should educate ourselves before we make any decisions, talk to J's doctor, talk to the counselor we already have, and then we just see what works. She has two sons who were diagnosed as ADHD when they were young, and she said that for them, finding the right medication made a world of difference. She also explained that it's not a one size fits all deal, that if we go the medication route, it would be monitored and would involve regular doctor visits to make sure things were on track. Nothing she said was a surprise to me, and J's teacher and I scored things very similarly. I was glad to see that J doesn't seem to have the zero-to-sixty meltdowns at school that he does at home, not according to his teacher's survey results. Anyway, now it's time for more research and appointments and we'll go from here. The psychologist that the counselor highly recommended is up the road in Desoto, and she said it could take about two months to get in to see him, so if we're going to do that, I guess it would be wise to go ahead and call.
But like the counselor said, I need to educate myself. Brian and I had been talking already before all the ADHD stuff came up about how bad high fructose corn syrup (HFCS, because I'm too lazy to type all that every time I mention it! LOL) is for you and how it's in every.freakin'.food product out there, and our desire to get away from it as much as possible. We went to a local Asian market on Tuesday, and as we looked at packages, we noticed that HFCS just isn't prevalent in the pastries and snack foods as it is in what's available at our local grocery store. We bought a couple of things to try, and while they were different than what we're used to, they were good. So we thought, hey, we'll try to do more shopping there, and we also want to support local growers and farmers' markets. Then I started researching about how changes in diet can impact behavioral issues, and I thought, hey, maybe there's something to this. So, what we'll try first, before going the medication route, is to change what we eat. I'd like to cut out as much as possible things like artificial sweetener, artificial colors (especially the red dye - I know that causes problems for some kids), some preservatives, HCFS, and see how that goes.
And from all the reading I've done, there could be a connection with sleep and bedwetting as well. As long as I wake J up to go to the bathroom once a night, he's generally fine. My theory is that he sleeps so deeply that the signals from his body that he needs to go don't wake him up. This may be due to diet throwing his sleep patterns off, leading to sleep that isn't what a normal, healthy sleep cycle could be, and that can show up in bedwetting and in ADHD-like symptoms of irritability, frustration, inattention, and the like. It's interesting reading, and right now, I'd love to go home and toss out all the crap in my pantry and start fresh, because I really want to see how it works! Realistically, I can't afford to restock my pantry from the ground up with healthier alternatives, so we'll do it a little at a time. I'll be writing about this, because I know it's going to be a challenge getting J off the Pop-Tarts he favors and onto something better for him. But if it helps, it is so worth it.
~Brian is all moved in! Yay! We moved the last of his stuff up last Sunday. Now we're trying to bring order out of chaos, cleaning out and dejunking in a major way so we can get it organized for once and for all. No more half-assed shoving stuff in closets just so we can't see it. We are cleaning out the crap. We're planning a garage sale on April 26. J did well with the moving - he got whiny and crabby after a while, but he really was a good helper before he was worn out. He's thrilled that Oscar (Brian's cat) is at the house - he adores her (more on that later).
~J got his third Home-Gram at the after-school program this week - four or five time-outs for talking when he shouldn't have been, not sitting still, not listening, and for calling a parent fat. As it's his third, I now need to call the program director (I've left two messages for her now, and haven't gotten a return call, so apparently it's not *that* important that she speak to me, or I'd have expected a call back by now). He and I had a talk about a lot of things after this, and like he always does when he thinks I'm mad at him, he just burst into tears and became a sobbing mess. On the way home, we decided to order pizza for dinner. He started crying a few minutes after I'd called to order it because he didn't want cheese pizza, he wanted to cook something at home. I asked him what he wanted to fix at home, and he said he couldn't tell me. I told him that I couldn't fix what he wanted if I didn't know what it was, and he started howling that he didn't want to cook at home, he wanted to go eat somewhere because that was better. *sigh* He sobbed most of the way home. After we got home, I gave him half a juice glass of Dr Pepper and he calmed down almost immediately. He sat still all the way through dinner and ate a good solid meal rather than getting up every two or three bites and running off to do something else. He did what I asked without balking like he usually does. He played quietly with his Bionicles after dinner and wasn't all over the map with the "mama, mama, LOOK, come SEE, heyIfoundthisreallycoolBioniclevideoandweneedtowatchittwenty-seventimes" like he usually is in the evenings. It was amazing. I'd started the caffeine experiment because I'd read that caffeine may be helpful in kids with ADHD, and I didn't have any formal diagnosis on that, but I figured the caffeine would either send him into overdrive or it would help. Apparently it helps. Read on....
~A couple of weeks ago, J's teacher and I both filled out Conner's surveys to look for ADHD characteristics. The school counselor scored them, and we went over the results yesterday. J's issues don't rise to the level of a DSM-IV diagnosis, but he scored highly enough (primarily in hyperactivity/impulsivity) that the counselor felt he could benefit from treatment. She gave us a list of psychologists and psychiatrists that she's familiar with, and we talked about the possibility of medicine and about behavior modification. She said we should educate ourselves before we make any decisions, talk to J's doctor, talk to the counselor we already have, and then we just see what works. She has two sons who were diagnosed as ADHD when they were young, and she said that for them, finding the right medication made a world of difference. She also explained that it's not a one size fits all deal, that if we go the medication route, it would be monitored and would involve regular doctor visits to make sure things were on track. Nothing she said was a surprise to me, and J's teacher and I scored things very similarly. I was glad to see that J doesn't seem to have the zero-to-sixty meltdowns at school that he does at home, not according to his teacher's survey results. Anyway, now it's time for more research and appointments and we'll go from here. The psychologist that the counselor highly recommended is up the road in Desoto, and she said it could take about two months to get in to see him, so if we're going to do that, I guess it would be wise to go ahead and call.
But like the counselor said, I need to educate myself. Brian and I had been talking already before all the ADHD stuff came up about how bad high fructose corn syrup (HFCS, because I'm too lazy to type all that every time I mention it! LOL) is for you and how it's in every.freakin'.food product out there, and our desire to get away from it as much as possible. We went to a local Asian market on Tuesday, and as we looked at packages, we noticed that HFCS just isn't prevalent in the pastries and snack foods as it is in what's available at our local grocery store. We bought a couple of things to try, and while they were different than what we're used to, they were good. So we thought, hey, we'll try to do more shopping there, and we also want to support local growers and farmers' markets. Then I started researching about how changes in diet can impact behavioral issues, and I thought, hey, maybe there's something to this. So, what we'll try first, before going the medication route, is to change what we eat. I'd like to cut out as much as possible things like artificial sweetener, artificial colors (especially the red dye - I know that causes problems for some kids), some preservatives, HCFS, and see how that goes.
And from all the reading I've done, there could be a connection with sleep and bedwetting as well. As long as I wake J up to go to the bathroom once a night, he's generally fine. My theory is that he sleeps so deeply that the signals from his body that he needs to go don't wake him up. This may be due to diet throwing his sleep patterns off, leading to sleep that isn't what a normal, healthy sleep cycle could be, and that can show up in bedwetting and in ADHD-like symptoms of irritability, frustration, inattention, and the like. It's interesting reading, and right now, I'd love to go home and toss out all the crap in my pantry and start fresh, because I really want to see how it works! Realistically, I can't afford to restock my pantry from the ground up with healthier alternatives, so we'll do it a little at a time. I'll be writing about this, because I know it's going to be a challenge getting J off the Pop-Tarts he favors and onto something better for him. But if it helps, it is so worth it.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The final countdown
Eleven days and counting until my wedding. Four days and counting until Brian moves. How much work do you think I'm getting done? LOL
Brian had his yard sale this weekend. It went pretty well. We sold most of the good stuff by around 10:00, and made over $100. Not bad, considering it was a pretty small sale. We decided we were done at that point, as traffic had slowed considerably, and we boxed up the rest and took it to Goodwill.
Oscar the cat came home with me Saturday evening. She meowed piteously for about a third of the trip home. For the next third, she settled down quietly in the back seat. For the final third, she decided to explore the front seat. Ever try to drive with a cat standing on your arm and looking out the driver's side window? No easy task, that's for sure. I finally got her moved to the passenger side, where she put her feet up on the dashboard and looked out the windshield. I had to laugh - when I was leaving Brian's, Oscar was in the car and I commented that I wondered how long it would be before she tried to climb in the front seat with me. Brian said he was sure she'd stay in the back. Before I could get around and get in the car, Oscar was in the front seat with her paws on the steering wheel. I wished I'd had the camera - she looked like Toonces the driving cat. LOL
J was certainly thrilled to see Oscar when he came home from K's yesterday. She stayed on J's bed for a long time, and every few minutes we had to go check on Oscar and see how she was doing. She even averted a meltdown this morning. J woke up agitating to get on the computer - my response was no, no time for computer on school mornings, we need to get ready for school and if you're on the computer, you're likely to forget everything else I might ask you to do. "I WON'T, I PROMISE, I - oh, hey, look, it's Oscar! Hey, Oscar! Are you hungry? (go feed cat) Did you have a good sleep? I'm going to school today, Oscar, what are you going to do?" Crisis averted. LOL
Really, how long do you think my attention span will be this week? I've got way too much to think about to concentrate on anything for any significant length of time. Come on, Friday!
Brian had his yard sale this weekend. It went pretty well. We sold most of the good stuff by around 10:00, and made over $100. Not bad, considering it was a pretty small sale. We decided we were done at that point, as traffic had slowed considerably, and we boxed up the rest and took it to Goodwill.
Oscar the cat came home with me Saturday evening. She meowed piteously for about a third of the trip home. For the next third, she settled down quietly in the back seat. For the final third, she decided to explore the front seat. Ever try to drive with a cat standing on your arm and looking out the driver's side window? No easy task, that's for sure. I finally got her moved to the passenger side, where she put her feet up on the dashboard and looked out the windshield. I had to laugh - when I was leaving Brian's, Oscar was in the car and I commented that I wondered how long it would be before she tried to climb in the front seat with me. Brian said he was sure she'd stay in the back. Before I could get around and get in the car, Oscar was in the front seat with her paws on the steering wheel. I wished I'd had the camera - she looked like Toonces the driving cat. LOL
J was certainly thrilled to see Oscar when he came home from K's yesterday. She stayed on J's bed for a long time, and every few minutes we had to go check on Oscar and see how she was doing. She even averted a meltdown this morning. J woke up agitating to get on the computer - my response was no, no time for computer on school mornings, we need to get ready for school and if you're on the computer, you're likely to forget everything else I might ask you to do. "I WON'T, I PROMISE, I - oh, hey, look, it's Oscar! Hey, Oscar! Are you hungry? (go feed cat) Did you have a good sleep? I'm going to school today, Oscar, what are you going to do?" Crisis averted. LOL
Really, how long do you think my attention span will be this week? I've got way too much to think about to concentrate on anything for any significant length of time. Come on, Friday!
Friday, March 21, 2008
I'm a groovy mother hen
So says the quiz!
I never thought of myself as particularly groovy, but I'll go with it.
It's FRIDAY!!! Yay!!! I think everyone who could take the day off, did. I'm wishing I was one of them, because I am not motivated to be at work. We're short-handed, and I'm really hoping lots of people think Good Friday is a bank holiday and don't call. I've got so many things rolling around in my head, it's a wonder they don't start leaking out my ears.
This weekend is Brian's yard sale. We'll sell what we can, and whatever doesn't sell goes to Goodwill. I'm going to box up a few things and take them down for the sale - might as well get rid of some of my junk while we're at it. Oscar the cat will be coming back home with me, so she can start getting acclimated to her new home. She's stayed with us before, so it's not completely unfamiliar territory.
Next weekend - the move! Brian's got the job fair for our local school district on the morning of the 29th, and during that time, J and I will be picking up dishes (I found someone selling a ton of stoneware in my discontinued pattern), going to his counseling appointment, and maybe getting our hair cut. That afternoon and Sunday (if need be), we'll be shuttling back and forth, getting the rest of Brian's stuff and getting his old house cleaned up.
And the weekend after that - wedding! I told Brian that we'll probably just crash from exhaustion and spend that weekend sleeping. LOL "So, what did you do on your honeymoon?" "Slept. For eighteen straight hours." LOLOL
I've also got possibilities for wholesale orders for Bright Blessings. So much to think about - marketing materials, products, pricing, website upgrades to have a wholesale section.... It makes my head spin. In a good way, but still - lots of spinning. And the Spring Fling is coming up, as are the Boutique Boxes. GAH. I need a sabbatical from my day job to work on Bright Blessings stuff!
What type of Mother Hen Are You?
by Montessorimom.com: Educational Resource
I never thought of myself as particularly groovy, but I'll go with it.
It's FRIDAY!!! Yay!!! I think everyone who could take the day off, did. I'm wishing I was one of them, because I am not motivated to be at work. We're short-handed, and I'm really hoping lots of people think Good Friday is a bank holiday and don't call. I've got so many things rolling around in my head, it's a wonder they don't start leaking out my ears.
This weekend is Brian's yard sale. We'll sell what we can, and whatever doesn't sell goes to Goodwill. I'm going to box up a few things and take them down for the sale - might as well get rid of some of my junk while we're at it. Oscar the cat will be coming back home with me, so she can start getting acclimated to her new home. She's stayed with us before, so it's not completely unfamiliar territory.
Next weekend - the move! Brian's got the job fair for our local school district on the morning of the 29th, and during that time, J and I will be picking up dishes (I found someone selling a ton of stoneware in my discontinued pattern), going to his counseling appointment, and maybe getting our hair cut. That afternoon and Sunday (if need be), we'll be shuttling back and forth, getting the rest of Brian's stuff and getting his old house cleaned up.
And the weekend after that - wedding! I told Brian that we'll probably just crash from exhaustion and spend that weekend sleeping. LOL "So, what did you do on your honeymoon?" "Slept. For eighteen straight hours." LOLOL
I've also got possibilities for wholesale orders for Bright Blessings. So much to think about - marketing materials, products, pricing, website upgrades to have a wholesale section.... It makes my head spin. In a good way, but still - lots of spinning. And the Spring Fling is coming up, as are the Boutique Boxes. GAH. I need a sabbatical from my day job to work on Bright Blessings stuff!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Home again, home again, jiggety jig
We took a road trip to see family this weekend. Two days at my dad's house, one day at K's parents', and a stop for lunch with Brian's parents. 800+ miles and a good 13-14 hours in the car. I'm tired, and really wishing I'd taken today off from work to recover!
Healthwise, my dad is doing about as well as can be expected. The Parkinson's is progressing to some extent, and the doctor just changed his meds. His blood sugar is OK most days - not great, but OK. But mentally/emotionally, I'm worried about him. I'm worried about my dad, though. He's fine with me and J, but he's getting mean in some ways. He's always been a difficult person to live with - very outspoken, very blunt, quick to anger and slow to admit he's wrong. With me, at least, that's mellowed somewhat as he's gotten older. My stepmom and I had a chance to talk, though, and he's getting to the point where he'll say things to other people that are really just hateful. If he'd said them to me, I'd have stopped talking to him, that's for sure. She said his tendency to do this is driving their friends away, and I hate that. I don't know if it's age, if it's some transmogrification of the Parkinson's, if it's both, if it's just that he's scared to death that he has no control over how things will progress, or if it's just a magnification of personality traits that are already there, but I don't like the mean streak. They got a puppy - three months old. He's a cute pup, bouncy and hyper and jumpy and barky like puppies are. J doesn't do well with bouncy barky dogs, so I'd hold Jake (the puppy) while J went by. We were getting ready to leave and Jake was all excited and kept trying to climb in my car. I didn't care, I'd just shove him away gently and tell him no. I figure he's about like a little kid, he has to hear it forty-seven thousand times before he gets it. LOL But my dad shoved Jake and hit him, hard, and that worried me. I told him that wasn't necessary on my account, that Jake would get it with time and repetition, there was no need to be so rough. And sometimes it's like he's looking for things to pick a fight about. My stepmom had gone to Monroe to see her great-grandbaby, and was on her way home when I got in Saturday, so she wasn't there when I got there. It never occurred to me to be in the least upset about it - that meant that her daughter and granddaughter were with her, so I got to see them, too, and I got to see pics of the grandbaby, yay! That was fun for me. My dad told me on Monday that he was sorry my stepmom gave me the cold shoulder, that she'd known I was coming way before she'd planned that trip to Monroe, and it was like he was upset she'd gone instead of staying there to see me. ??? I told him she and I were just fine, we get along well, and that if I had a problem with anything she said or did to me, I was a grown woman and would certainly tell her how I felt, that he didn't need to get all worked up over some perceived slight to me. I don't get that at all. He just seems to see things so differently than I do, and I hurt for him. If he keeps it up, he's going to chase off all his friends, and he'll be alone. I know getting old sucks, and he's always been such a control freak that the Parkinson's must scare the bejeezus out of him, but that's no reason to be hateful to people. And he's 81 - the likelihood of his behavior changing at this point is slim to none, especially if any part of it is just the progression of the disease.
It worries me, too, because should he become incapacitated, someone will need to handle his affairs. My stepmom is the logical choice, as she's there and she's the one running the house and keeping things up. But given the conversation he and I had this weekend, I don't know if he'd ever sign anything naming her power of attorney. Sure, I could do it, but it seems silly for him to name me when I'm seven hours away. I just worry as to how all this will get taken care of when he sometimes seems to have this mentality that the whole world is against him, even his wife.
Other than that worry, the trip was good. J came home with more stuff than I don't know what, and K's parents sent us home with enough groceries that I shouldn't have to shop for a month. It was good to see everyone, even if it meant a long trip for us. It rained a lot on the drive home, but we made it safely, and the house was still standing when we got home, so it's all good.
J's teacher sent home a Conner's scale, a survey that looks for ADHD characteristics. She said she filled out the teacher's scale, and sent the parent's version home for me to fill out and return. The counselor will then score the surveys and let me know the results. Some things are "never or seldom" for him, like being angry and resentful (not so much), having no friends, checking things over and over again, fussy about cleanliness (I laughed out loud when I read this one - hardly! LOL), irritable, headaches, blaming others for mistakes/misbehavior. Some things are "very much true" - inattentive/easily distracted, easily frustrated, easily distracted by extraneous stimuli, interrupts others' conversations/games, has a hard time waiting his turn/waiting in line, always "on the go". I'm curious to see how my answers compare to his teacher's, and what the counselor sees. It will certainly give us something to talk to our counselor about. On the one hand, it makes me nervous - you hate for your child to be labeled in any way, even if having a label can help in areas where help is needed. On the other, I know his teacher is just offering a tool, something we may be able to use to address behavior concerns even if things don't rise to the level of ADHD, and that's a good thing. Also, if there is a real, genuine problem, then it's better to know sooner rather than later. I honestly don't know what the counselor will see when the results are tallied. I don't know how much of J's bounciness and inattention is due to some possible diagnosable issue and how much of it is just 5-year-old boy dealing with a lot of change in his life. We'll see.
So. Ten days until Brian's move, seventeen until the wedding! K's grandmother was there this weekend, and bless her, she gave me some money as a wedding gift. I don't know what I'll do with it - she suggested some nice lingerie. LOLOL I love Granny, she is an absolute card. Anyway, I'm going to Brian's this weekend to help with the yard sale. Whatever doesn't sell, if he doesn't want to move it, we're taking it to Goodwill. I'm going to see if I can get motivated and box up some stuff I might want to sell, too, while we're selling.
And good news - Brian has found a retail outlet that may be interested in carrying Bright Blessings goodies! The man who's opening the shop is looking for Texas-made products to offer, and I'm going to get a sample basket made up to take down there this weekend. Keep your fingers crossed!
Healthwise, my dad is doing about as well as can be expected. The Parkinson's is progressing to some extent, and the doctor just changed his meds. His blood sugar is OK most days - not great, but OK. But mentally/emotionally, I'm worried about him. I'm worried about my dad, though. He's fine with me and J, but he's getting mean in some ways. He's always been a difficult person to live with - very outspoken, very blunt, quick to anger and slow to admit he's wrong. With me, at least, that's mellowed somewhat as he's gotten older. My stepmom and I had a chance to talk, though, and he's getting to the point where he'll say things to other people that are really just hateful. If he'd said them to me, I'd have stopped talking to him, that's for sure. She said his tendency to do this is driving their friends away, and I hate that. I don't know if it's age, if it's some transmogrification of the Parkinson's, if it's both, if it's just that he's scared to death that he has no control over how things will progress, or if it's just a magnification of personality traits that are already there, but I don't like the mean streak. They got a puppy - three months old. He's a cute pup, bouncy and hyper and jumpy and barky like puppies are. J doesn't do well with bouncy barky dogs, so I'd hold Jake (the puppy) while J went by. We were getting ready to leave and Jake was all excited and kept trying to climb in my car. I didn't care, I'd just shove him away gently and tell him no. I figure he's about like a little kid, he has to hear it forty-seven thousand times before he gets it. LOL But my dad shoved Jake and hit him, hard, and that worried me. I told him that wasn't necessary on my account, that Jake would get it with time and repetition, there was no need to be so rough. And sometimes it's like he's looking for things to pick a fight about. My stepmom had gone to Monroe to see her great-grandbaby, and was on her way home when I got in Saturday, so she wasn't there when I got there. It never occurred to me to be in the least upset about it - that meant that her daughter and granddaughter were with her, so I got to see them, too, and I got to see pics of the grandbaby, yay! That was fun for me. My dad told me on Monday that he was sorry my stepmom gave me the cold shoulder, that she'd known I was coming way before she'd planned that trip to Monroe, and it was like he was upset she'd gone instead of staying there to see me. ??? I told him she and I were just fine, we get along well, and that if I had a problem with anything she said or did to me, I was a grown woman and would certainly tell her how I felt, that he didn't need to get all worked up over some perceived slight to me. I don't get that at all. He just seems to see things so differently than I do, and I hurt for him. If he keeps it up, he's going to chase off all his friends, and he'll be alone. I know getting old sucks, and he's always been such a control freak that the Parkinson's must scare the bejeezus out of him, but that's no reason to be hateful to people. And he's 81 - the likelihood of his behavior changing at this point is slim to none, especially if any part of it is just the progression of the disease.
It worries me, too, because should he become incapacitated, someone will need to handle his affairs. My stepmom is the logical choice, as she's there and she's the one running the house and keeping things up. But given the conversation he and I had this weekend, I don't know if he'd ever sign anything naming her power of attorney. Sure, I could do it, but it seems silly for him to name me when I'm seven hours away. I just worry as to how all this will get taken care of when he sometimes seems to have this mentality that the whole world is against him, even his wife.
Other than that worry, the trip was good. J came home with more stuff than I don't know what, and K's parents sent us home with enough groceries that I shouldn't have to shop for a month. It was good to see everyone, even if it meant a long trip for us. It rained a lot on the drive home, but we made it safely, and the house was still standing when we got home, so it's all good.
J's teacher sent home a Conner's scale, a survey that looks for ADHD characteristics. She said she filled out the teacher's scale, and sent the parent's version home for me to fill out and return. The counselor will then score the surveys and let me know the results. Some things are "never or seldom" for him, like being angry and resentful (not so much), having no friends, checking things over and over again, fussy about cleanliness (I laughed out loud when I read this one - hardly! LOL), irritable, headaches, blaming others for mistakes/misbehavior. Some things are "very much true" - inattentive/easily distracted, easily frustrated, easily distracted by extraneous stimuli, interrupts others' conversations/games, has a hard time waiting his turn/waiting in line, always "on the go". I'm curious to see how my answers compare to his teacher's, and what the counselor sees. It will certainly give us something to talk to our counselor about. On the one hand, it makes me nervous - you hate for your child to be labeled in any way, even if having a label can help in areas where help is needed. On the other, I know his teacher is just offering a tool, something we may be able to use to address behavior concerns even if things don't rise to the level of ADHD, and that's a good thing. Also, if there is a real, genuine problem, then it's better to know sooner rather than later. I honestly don't know what the counselor will see when the results are tallied. I don't know how much of J's bounciness and inattention is due to some possible diagnosable issue and how much of it is just 5-year-old boy dealing with a lot of change in his life. We'll see.
So. Ten days until Brian's move, seventeen until the wedding! K's grandmother was there this weekend, and bless her, she gave me some money as a wedding gift. I don't know what I'll do with it - she suggested some nice lingerie. LOLOL I love Granny, she is an absolute card. Anyway, I'm going to Brian's this weekend to help with the yard sale. Whatever doesn't sell, if he doesn't want to move it, we're taking it to Goodwill. I'm going to see if I can get motivated and box up some stuff I might want to sell, too, while we're selling.
And good news - Brian has found a retail outlet that may be interested in carrying Bright Blessings goodies! The man who's opening the shop is looking for Texas-made products to offer, and I'm going to get a sample basket made up to take down there this weekend. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Three weeks and counting
In less than three weeks, Brian will be here. In less than four weeks, we'll be married. I'm excited, but a little nervous, too. What if my first marriage fell apart because I'm somehow fundamentally unfit to be married? I don't really think that's the case - Brian said one of the ladies at his church was "warning" him today how you don't really know someone before you marry them, and I thought about that, and he knows me better than just about anyone. He's seen aspects of my personality that most other people will never see, as I have with him, and if neither of us has called it quits by now, I don't suppose we're likely to. But there's still the occasional twinge of nerves, you know?
But Brian isn't Kevin, I'm not the same person I was fifteen years ago, and our marriage won't be the same as my first marriage. If I didn't believe this, it wouldn't be happening. Not to say that all will be perfect - I'm sure there will be days when we're getting on each other's last nerve. But this one is for keeps.
I miss my mom. I wish I could talk to her - well, talk to her in such a way that I could hear her answer me. She had so much to do with planning my first wedding, and it sucks that I'm doing this one without her. I think she'd like Brian. I just wish she were here.
And then there's work. I am so sick of corporate America, I could scream. I can't say anything bad about my manager - he's been a stand-up guy and has gone to bat for me more than once. I just hate all the micromanagement that seems to be inherent in the corporate world, I hate my commute, I hate being away from home for twelve hours out of every day, I hate that right now we're prisoners of my schedule, and it's not what I want to do with my life. But I can't figure out what I *do* want to do. Everything that occurs to me either requires more education, would have me taking a substantial pay cut to get into the field, or just isn't anything I can support myself doing. When my pension vests, I'm looking for something, anything closer to home. I don't care if I use my law degree. It was an ill-advised career choice for me anyway. I just want something that pays the bills, where I feel appreciated, where I enjoy what I do more often than not, and where I don't have the commute from hell. You'd think that I could find something, right?
Ugh, midnight. So much for going to bed early tonight.
But Brian isn't Kevin, I'm not the same person I was fifteen years ago, and our marriage won't be the same as my first marriage. If I didn't believe this, it wouldn't be happening. Not to say that all will be perfect - I'm sure there will be days when we're getting on each other's last nerve. But this one is for keeps.
I miss my mom. I wish I could talk to her - well, talk to her in such a way that I could hear her answer me. She had so much to do with planning my first wedding, and it sucks that I'm doing this one without her. I think she'd like Brian. I just wish she were here.
And then there's work. I am so sick of corporate America, I could scream. I can't say anything bad about my manager - he's been a stand-up guy and has gone to bat for me more than once. I just hate all the micromanagement that seems to be inherent in the corporate world, I hate my commute, I hate being away from home for twelve hours out of every day, I hate that right now we're prisoners of my schedule, and it's not what I want to do with my life. But I can't figure out what I *do* want to do. Everything that occurs to me either requires more education, would have me taking a substantial pay cut to get into the field, or just isn't anything I can support myself doing. When my pension vests, I'm looking for something, anything closer to home. I don't care if I use my law degree. It was an ill-advised career choice for me anyway. I just want something that pays the bills, where I feel appreciated, where I enjoy what I do more often than not, and where I don't have the commute from hell. You'd think that I could find something, right?
Ugh, midnight. So much for going to bed early tonight.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Shine Like the Sun
www.myspace.com/murfmurphymusic
I don't know how to add this to my music player in the sidebar, so I'm putting it here. An old friend of mine wrote this song for his wife's mother's funeral, and he shared it with me.
I miss my mother, but it's a great comfort knowing that the goodbye I told her in 1995 isn't goodbye forever.
I don't know how to add this to my music player in the sidebar, so I'm putting it here. An old friend of mine wrote this song for his wife's mother's funeral, and he shared it with me.
I miss my mother, but it's a great comfort knowing that the goodbye I told her in 1995 isn't goodbye forever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)