I scream now, 'K? A little back story: I changed bank accounts back in November. I told State Farm of the change, to make sure my insurance premiums came from the new account - gave them a cancelled check, signed the paperwork, the whole nine yards. Fast forward to January. I got a cancellation notice for my insurance, saying it was two months overdue. Huh?! So I called and talked to Carla, who remembered talking to me the first time, and found out the draft hadn't changed to my new account. They'd been trying to take the premiums from the account that I'd already told them was closed. I was a bit perturbed, to put it mildly. She told me she'd talked to someone in operations and made sure the change was made, they'd refund my two overdraft charges, and that things should be back on track. OK, fine.
Today I called State Farm about getting the homeowners' premium added to my monthly bank draft. Imagine my surprise when Carla said the February payment was returned (supposedly after she and I had the whole discussion about the wrong account being drafted and her talking to someone in operations in Dallas to confirm they had the right account), and my draft was turned off right now, and they have to collect for March to get it set back up. WHAT THE...?!?!?! I'm sure my blood pressure went through the roof at that point. Supposedly whatever was returned was returned on Feb. 20. That's around the time I got my tax refund and got paid, so I KNOW there was money in the account. Also, I've never gotten an overdraft notice, which would have happened well before now if something were returned (and a whole host of other things would have been returned as well if I were out of money on Feb. 20). I don't know what the hell they're talking about or why anything should have showed up as returned. She couldn't see my whole account number, since the draft is turned off right now, but she'll pull my file so that when I go in to pay on Friday, I can confirm that it's correct. I'd be willing to bet someone keyed in the account number incorrectly, or the routing number, or something. I am so annoyed, I could scream. If it weren't for the fact that State Farm likely does offer the best value on my insurance right now because of the multi-line discount and longevity discount, I would go somewhere else. This is just beyond ridiculous, and if one more thing like this happens, I'll probably eat the cost and go elsewhere.
Showing posts with label Rant and Rave. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rant and Rave. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Oh, no, the hell it didn't
My car started when I left work this afternoon. Ran a bit rough, but started and made a couple of loops around the parking garage. Then it died. Dead like a dodo. Not going. Almost blocking the way out of the garage, and me with no way to move it. (I wasn't very popular with people leaving. Fucking rude bastards. I had my hazards on and was standing by my car crying, you'd think they'd realize I didn't stop just for shit and grins.) Thankfully my manager left just after me, and stopped to help.
And blow me if that car didn't start right up after sitting for just a couple of minutes. My manager followed me home to make sure I got there safely, and it made it with no problems. What. The. Hell.
The dealership knows I'll be there in the morning. I have no idea how this will affect my weekend plans to see Brian - he's got a tour at work on Saturday that he can't get out of, and he's supposed to usher at both services at church on Sunday. I'm hoping he can get someone to cover church and then come up here Saturday afternoon - of all weekends, I need a big ol' hug or ten this weekend. I'm trying to figure out if there's any way I can avoid paying for a rental car the whole weekend and into next week - I don't expect they'll get it fixed tomorrow, and I need to have a way to get around.
Son of a bitch. If there was any way I could afford a car payment, I'd trade mine in tomorrow and walk out with one new. But I can't.
And kudos to K - when I called hysterical asking if he could pick J up from school, he did without a moment's hesitation. :-) So he redeemed himself admirably from the piddly crap of yesterday.
And blow me if that car didn't start right up after sitting for just a couple of minutes. My manager followed me home to make sure I got there safely, and it made it with no problems. What. The. Hell.
The dealership knows I'll be there in the morning. I have no idea how this will affect my weekend plans to see Brian - he's got a tour at work on Saturday that he can't get out of, and he's supposed to usher at both services at church on Sunday. I'm hoping he can get someone to cover church and then come up here Saturday afternoon - of all weekends, I need a big ol' hug or ten this weekend. I'm trying to figure out if there's any way I can avoid paying for a rental car the whole weekend and into next week - I don't expect they'll get it fixed tomorrow, and I need to have a way to get around.
Son of a bitch. If there was any way I could afford a car payment, I'd trade mine in tomorrow and walk out with one new. But I can't.
And kudos to K - when I called hysterical asking if he could pick J up from school, he did without a moment's hesitation. :-) So he redeemed himself admirably from the piddly crap of yesterday.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Better and then not so much
First, the good news. I'll be doing transcription for 12.5 cents a line! Woo! I'm getting my own machine, found one refurbished on eBay for about a third of the retail price. So once I get that, I'll be good to go! (Julie, if you're reading this, THANK YOU!!!!) I'm excited. It will be good experience, a chance to see how well I might really like it (i.e., could it possibly become a career for me so I could tell corporate America to kiss my big ol' booty?), and much-needed extra cash.
I think I may have mentioned the childcare reimbursement program at work. The guidelines said your individual income had to be less than $34,000 and family income had to be less than $60,000 to qualify. I made the argument that I am the family income and I make less than $60,000, and apparently I qualify. :-) They'll reimburse you up to $175/month for care for children under age five, and up to $152/month for care for children ages five to twelve. Not a lot, but every little bit helps. So that's good news!
My car is fixed. They couldn't duplicate the starting problem, but the swooshing/sloshing noise I heard was a coolant leak from the intake gasket. Cost to fix: $525. I'm not *excited* about spending that much, but it made me wince, not wail and gnash my teeth. It's painful, but not unbearably so. The service technician said that this repair might somehow clear up the starting problem, but if that continued to be an issue, I can bring the car back and they'll do the diagnostic work for free to figure out what's going on. I thought that was pretty cool, although I hope I won't have to take them up on it. So tomorrow morning I'll take the rental car back, get a ride to the dealership, and pick up my car. J will be very disappointed to take the Kia back - he kept telling me, "Mama, I like this car. It's so CLEAN!" LOLOL He said we should keep it, and when I told him we were just using it until I got my car fixed, he said, "OK, we'll just drive it for a few minutes, then." Silly boy. :-)
And now for my bitchy bits.
Does J just not listen? Has he not yet developed a sense of empathy? I know he's not stupid, I know he can understand what I'm telling him - not like I'm using words that are beyond his ability to comprehend.
I was picking up toys tonight and had a big plastic bucket of them in my hands, so no way to break a fall. I stepped on one that had gotten left out, lost my balance and fell into the entertainment center. My arm and hand landed on the edge, but I didn't seriously hurt anything. I could have fallen all the way down, I could have hit my head on an edge or a corner, I could have gone through the glass front, and been seriously hurt. I told J that this is why I ask him to pick up toys, so we don't step on them and fall and get hurt. His response? Nothing. Not even to ask if I was OK. He just kept on playing and pretty much ignored me, even though he'd been looking at me when I talked to him. When do kids start to learn empathy? It makes me wonder if mine is just a late bloomer in that regard, or what.
And K. Once again, I have the urge to smack him (yet I also feel strangely bad at the same time - read on). I had my cell phone in my pocket, and I was trying to get J to sleep. (Note to self: turn ringer off.) It was right about 10:00, and finally, after a rough night, J was just dozing off. The effin' cell phone rang and he sat bolt upright in bed. It was K - apparently he thought J would still be awake, so he called. Um, have we just met?! Do you not remember that this is about the time every night I'm trying to get him to freakin' SLEEP?! Like I said, it was a rather bad night, so I'm sure I sounded pissy. Kevin said he'd talk to me tomorrow and hung up - didn't say anything about why he was calling at a rather odd hour. After a bit, I then thought maybe something was wrong, so I sent him a text message. He wrote back and said he was just missing J, and thought maybe he'd say good night if he was still awake. So then I felt bad. But then I thought, again, it's 10:00. Even if J is awake, K should know that I'd be trying to get him to sleep, not wanting him to be kept awake. And even a short phone call can rev his engines up and keep him from sleeping easily. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Thankfully J didn't get all wound up and did go to sleep in (for him) relatively short order.
This, after tonight. K picked J up for my late night (turns out I didn't have handbells, since it's spring break this week, but I didn't know that). I got home, K left. Fine and good, until I walked across the living room and stepped in a big squishy wet spot - almost a whole glass of milk had been spilled on the carpet and not cleaned up at all. I asked J if he'd told daddy about the spill. He said yes. I thought and then asked if daddy was asleep when J told him (K had said he was tired, and J had already mentioned daddy sleeping). Again, yes. So K just snoozed away while J put a whole cup of milk in the middle of the carpet (rather than on a hard surface, where cups belong) and (not surprisingly) knocked it over. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Then I found that he'd left J's soy milk sitting out. Milk. Needs to go in the fridge. Soy milk. Not cheap. My frustration knows no bounds. Thankfully it hadn't been out long enough to go off, but still. What if I hadn't noticed it? And a grown man should be able to put milk back in the fridge.
I'm irritated because now I have to clean my carpet again (at least I have the Bissell now). And I'm worried that K is that tired, that he couldn't/wouldn't rouse himself when J said something to him. What if J had gotten into something he shouldn't have? What if he'd set something on fire? What if he'd gotten into something worse than milk? What if he'd cut himself? If K can't be roused by his son, that's a problem - he needs to go to bed earlier if it's because he's up too late, or get some medical attention if he's just physically/mentally unable to sleep. That's for J's good when J is with him and for his own good. What if K falls asleep while he's driving? Worse yet, what if he falls asleep while driving with J in the car? These are the things that come to mind and that worry me - brought on by a big puddle of spilled milk. (I'm not crying over it, I'm worrying over it. That's something completely different.) Not sleeping well isn't healthy. There's a reason sleep deprivation can be used as a form of torture - it makes you feel like crap and makes you unable to function. So I'm vexed with K (because there's a big wet milk puddle in the middle of my formerly-somewhat-cleaner carpet) and worried about him, too (because this kind of tired isn't normal).
I'm going to take a bubble bath and have a glass of wine. I am one big stress kitty right now, and I've got to get up early to go get the rental car back and get my car.
I think I may have mentioned the childcare reimbursement program at work. The guidelines said your individual income had to be less than $34,000 and family income had to be less than $60,000 to qualify. I made the argument that I am the family income and I make less than $60,000, and apparently I qualify. :-) They'll reimburse you up to $175/month for care for children under age five, and up to $152/month for care for children ages five to twelve. Not a lot, but every little bit helps. So that's good news!
My car is fixed. They couldn't duplicate the starting problem, but the swooshing/sloshing noise I heard was a coolant leak from the intake gasket. Cost to fix: $525. I'm not *excited* about spending that much, but it made me wince, not wail and gnash my teeth. It's painful, but not unbearably so. The service technician said that this repair might somehow clear up the starting problem, but if that continued to be an issue, I can bring the car back and they'll do the diagnostic work for free to figure out what's going on. I thought that was pretty cool, although I hope I won't have to take them up on it. So tomorrow morning I'll take the rental car back, get a ride to the dealership, and pick up my car. J will be very disappointed to take the Kia back - he kept telling me, "Mama, I like this car. It's so CLEAN!" LOLOL He said we should keep it, and when I told him we were just using it until I got my car fixed, he said, "OK, we'll just drive it for a few minutes, then." Silly boy. :-)
And now for my bitchy bits.
Does J just not listen? Has he not yet developed a sense of empathy? I know he's not stupid, I know he can understand what I'm telling him - not like I'm using words that are beyond his ability to comprehend.
I was picking up toys tonight and had a big plastic bucket of them in my hands, so no way to break a fall. I stepped on one that had gotten left out, lost my balance and fell into the entertainment center. My arm and hand landed on the edge, but I didn't seriously hurt anything. I could have fallen all the way down, I could have hit my head on an edge or a corner, I could have gone through the glass front, and been seriously hurt. I told J that this is why I ask him to pick up toys, so we don't step on them and fall and get hurt. His response? Nothing. Not even to ask if I was OK. He just kept on playing and pretty much ignored me, even though he'd been looking at me when I talked to him. When do kids start to learn empathy? It makes me wonder if mine is just a late bloomer in that regard, or what.
And K. Once again, I have the urge to smack him (yet I also feel strangely bad at the same time - read on). I had my cell phone in my pocket, and I was trying to get J to sleep. (Note to self: turn ringer off.) It was right about 10:00, and finally, after a rough night, J was just dozing off. The effin' cell phone rang and he sat bolt upright in bed. It was K - apparently he thought J would still be awake, so he called. Um, have we just met?! Do you not remember that this is about the time every night I'm trying to get him to freakin' SLEEP?! Like I said, it was a rather bad night, so I'm sure I sounded pissy. Kevin said he'd talk to me tomorrow and hung up - didn't say anything about why he was calling at a rather odd hour. After a bit, I then thought maybe something was wrong, so I sent him a text message. He wrote back and said he was just missing J, and thought maybe he'd say good night if he was still awake. So then I felt bad. But then I thought, again, it's 10:00. Even if J is awake, K should know that I'd be trying to get him to sleep, not wanting him to be kept awake. And even a short phone call can rev his engines up and keep him from sleeping easily. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Thankfully J didn't get all wound up and did go to sleep in (for him) relatively short order.
This, after tonight. K picked J up for my late night (turns out I didn't have handbells, since it's spring break this week, but I didn't know that). I got home, K left. Fine and good, until I walked across the living room and stepped in a big squishy wet spot - almost a whole glass of milk had been spilled on the carpet and not cleaned up at all. I asked J if he'd told daddy about the spill. He said yes. I thought and then asked if daddy was asleep when J told him (K had said he was tired, and J had already mentioned daddy sleeping). Again, yes. So K just snoozed away while J put a whole cup of milk in the middle of the carpet (rather than on a hard surface, where cups belong) and (not surprisingly) knocked it over. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Then I found that he'd left J's soy milk sitting out. Milk. Needs to go in the fridge. Soy milk. Not cheap. My frustration knows no bounds. Thankfully it hadn't been out long enough to go off, but still. What if I hadn't noticed it? And a grown man should be able to put milk back in the fridge.
I'm irritated because now I have to clean my carpet again (at least I have the Bissell now). And I'm worried that K is that tired, that he couldn't/wouldn't rouse himself when J said something to him. What if J had gotten into something he shouldn't have? What if he'd set something on fire? What if he'd gotten into something worse than milk? What if he'd cut himself? If K can't be roused by his son, that's a problem - he needs to go to bed earlier if it's because he's up too late, or get some medical attention if he's just physically/mentally unable to sleep. That's for J's good when J is with him and for his own good. What if K falls asleep while he's driving? Worse yet, what if he falls asleep while driving with J in the car? These are the things that come to mind and that worry me - brought on by a big puddle of spilled milk. (I'm not crying over it, I'm worrying over it. That's something completely different.) Not sleeping well isn't healthy. There's a reason sleep deprivation can be used as a form of torture - it makes you feel like crap and makes you unable to function. So I'm vexed with K (because there's a big wet milk puddle in the middle of my formerly-somewhat-cleaner carpet) and worried about him, too (because this kind of tired isn't normal).
I'm going to take a bubble bath and have a glass of wine. I am one big stress kitty right now, and I've got to get up early to go get the rental car back and get my car.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
More automotive fun
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
My car wouldn't start again this morning. I tried to rev the engine to get it to catch, as it was running really rough, but it died. I waited a few minutes, and it started. With J in tow, I got the car to the dealership in Waxahachie. They'll check it out and let me know. The guy thinks the starting problems and the strange noise I'm hearing are related. He also said he'd had one with a similar noise problem and it turned out to be a coolant leak. He mentioned the heater core, and I said I'd had mine replaced in December - if Kwik Kar effed something up doing that, I'm going to scream. And if it involves the heater core or that general area, I already know what that involves - taking the whole damn dashboard off and a shitload of labor costs. It cost me over $800 to get that bad boy replaced. Then I went to Hertz to rent a car. I had to get cash out of the bank to rent a car, because my debit card wouldn't go through. When, when, when does it get BETTER?!?!?!
And I'm now driving a nice little Kia Spectra, and thoroughly depressed - it's such a nice, clean, quiet little car, no funny rattles or bumps or things that need fixing, and I know a new car is not even close to being in my budget. :sigh: So I'll keep driving my rattly, bumpy, messy, paid-for heap.
And then there's K. As I've said before, he has helped me out above and beyond child support, and I do appreciate that. I have told him that when I find a better job and my financial situation is more stable, I'll pay him back that amount as I can. Today I called to let him know I'd made it in with the car and gotten the rental car, and I also mentioned that Katy said my loan will go through, and we may be able to close as early as tomorrow. K asked how much cash I was getting, and I told him I was going to ask for a bit more than I'd originally planned, to cover these car repairs. He started asking me if I could pay back part of what I owed him. I said I could pay some, and he started asking for an amount. I was worried about my car, I'd just had my debit card turned down and taken most of my cash out of savings to rent a car to get to my effin' job that I hate, and he wanted to know how much I could pay him from what's supposed to be my emergency fund. GAAAAAAAAAAAH. You know, I appreciate the fact that he helped me out way more than he had to, often to the point that he put himself in a bind. He didn't have to do that, and I am going to pay him back. But this morning was not the best time to push me on it, when I don't even know how much it will cost to fix my car and I'm taking on a huge house note just to get enough cash out to say I have a savings account, and I wish he could have seen that. Of course, I got wiggy and then he got pissed, saying never mind, it doesn't matter. It does matter, I'm going to pay him back because I don't want this hanging over my head. His timing was just severely off. And honestly, I wish I'd never been in the position of having to ask him for help. I feel like I tried my best to carry us financially while we were married and while he had a job that he liked and that liked him but that unfortunately ran out of work periodically, often for long periods of time, and wouldn't even consider a second job to help out. We ran up a shitload of debt just trying to get by, and I filed bankruptcy to get out from under mine (my debt was a good bit more than his, as I had good credit before I got married and credit card companies were happy to give me enough rope to let me hang myself). I've wrecked my credit to try to clean up the mess that was created while we were married, I did not make that mess by myself, and it chaps me that he's now jumping up and down for me to pay him back when he knows my finances aren't good and after me feeling like I carried a substantial portion of the financial load while we were married. He paid off his debt and didn't destroy his credit. I know I owe him the money, and I'm going to pay it back, but it feels like just another creditor dunning me for money, and I so don't need that right this minute. Now is just not a good time for him to be asking me about paying him back, and it hit me the wrong, wrong, wrong way.
On the bright side, I got a voice mail about the transcription work. :) So I'll call back and see if I can get some good news there. Hopefully the second half of the day won't suck as much as the first half has.
My car wouldn't start again this morning. I tried to rev the engine to get it to catch, as it was running really rough, but it died. I waited a few minutes, and it started. With J in tow, I got the car to the dealership in Waxahachie. They'll check it out and let me know. The guy thinks the starting problems and the strange noise I'm hearing are related. He also said he'd had one with a similar noise problem and it turned out to be a coolant leak. He mentioned the heater core, and I said I'd had mine replaced in December - if Kwik Kar effed something up doing that, I'm going to scream. And if it involves the heater core or that general area, I already know what that involves - taking the whole damn dashboard off and a shitload of labor costs. It cost me over $800 to get that bad boy replaced. Then I went to Hertz to rent a car. I had to get cash out of the bank to rent a car, because my debit card wouldn't go through. When, when, when does it get BETTER?!?!?!
And I'm now driving a nice little Kia Spectra, and thoroughly depressed - it's such a nice, clean, quiet little car, no funny rattles or bumps or things that need fixing, and I know a new car is not even close to being in my budget. :sigh: So I'll keep driving my rattly, bumpy, messy, paid-for heap.
And then there's K. As I've said before, he has helped me out above and beyond child support, and I do appreciate that. I have told him that when I find a better job and my financial situation is more stable, I'll pay him back that amount as I can. Today I called to let him know I'd made it in with the car and gotten the rental car, and I also mentioned that Katy said my loan will go through, and we may be able to close as early as tomorrow. K asked how much cash I was getting, and I told him I was going to ask for a bit more than I'd originally planned, to cover these car repairs. He started asking me if I could pay back part of what I owed him. I said I could pay some, and he started asking for an amount. I was worried about my car, I'd just had my debit card turned down and taken most of my cash out of savings to rent a car to get to my effin' job that I hate, and he wanted to know how much I could pay him from what's supposed to be my emergency fund. GAAAAAAAAAAAH. You know, I appreciate the fact that he helped me out way more than he had to, often to the point that he put himself in a bind. He didn't have to do that, and I am going to pay him back. But this morning was not the best time to push me on it, when I don't even know how much it will cost to fix my car and I'm taking on a huge house note just to get enough cash out to say I have a savings account, and I wish he could have seen that. Of course, I got wiggy and then he got pissed, saying never mind, it doesn't matter. It does matter, I'm going to pay him back because I don't want this hanging over my head. His timing was just severely off. And honestly, I wish I'd never been in the position of having to ask him for help. I feel like I tried my best to carry us financially while we were married and while he had a job that he liked and that liked him but that unfortunately ran out of work periodically, often for long periods of time, and wouldn't even consider a second job to help out. We ran up a shitload of debt just trying to get by, and I filed bankruptcy to get out from under mine (my debt was a good bit more than his, as I had good credit before I got married and credit card companies were happy to give me enough rope to let me hang myself). I've wrecked my credit to try to clean up the mess that was created while we were married, I did not make that mess by myself, and it chaps me that he's now jumping up and down for me to pay him back when he knows my finances aren't good and after me feeling like I carried a substantial portion of the financial load while we were married. He paid off his debt and didn't destroy his credit. I know I owe him the money, and I'm going to pay it back, but it feels like just another creditor dunning me for money, and I so don't need that right this minute. Now is just not a good time for him to be asking me about paying him back, and it hit me the wrong, wrong, wrong way.
On the bright side, I got a voice mail about the transcription work. :) So I'll call back and see if I can get some good news there. Hopefully the second half of the day won't suck as much as the first half has.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
And now the holiday fun begins
And now the holiday fun starts. K's mom had asked me if they could come visit for Easter, and as is my usual reaction, I said sure. But then I realized that Easter is the first weekend in April, and J would be with K, so I said he and I would need to talk first. They were planning to come and stay here with me and J.
K called just now. He's talked to his mom, and now wants me to talk to her and try to dissuade them from staying here. He says he thinks it's inappropriate for them to stay here for the holiday when J will be with A and him, and he hasn't mentioned it to A, but he thinks she'd be uncomfortable with it as well. I told him to speak for himself if he was bothered by it, and to ask A before he said it would bother her - he just insisted that he "knew" it would bother her. I guess I can see that it would be weird having your in-laws staying at their ex-DIL's house, but I'm so used to welcoming them whenever they feel like coming to visit that this hurts. I adore K's parents. I want them to come see us and to feel welcome here. I hate that K wants me to be the one to try to convince them not to stay here. I told him that if he and A were bothered, that needed to come from him, but that I would point out it was K's weekend with J, and that they might want to stay closer to them this visit, not that I minded them staying here but it would be more work for them driving back and forth. I'm sure she'll ask why we couldn't switch weekends, but plans the rest of the month really do work against us doing that. So. I'm not looking forward to this conversation. K says he feels like he's stuck in the middle. Well, so do I. I feel like I'm stuck between what his parents want and what he wants, and if it bothers him and A if they stay here, I wish that would just come from him rather than it coming from me first that I think it might be better if they didn't stay here.
He asked me wouldn't it bother me if Brian's parents went to stay at his ex's house. I said if they still got along, I don't think it would. I know Brian is still on good terms with his ex-ILs, and they get together for dinner periodically, and I'm fine with that. They've told him they'd like to meet me at some point. I'm not bothered by that at all. But maybe I'm just wired differently than some people.
I got upset and cried, and K got all wiggy about that. I told him that it hurt, that I still think of his parents as family and I hate telling them for whatever reason that they can't/shouldn't stay here. He said he wasn't saying they couldn't stay here ever, he just didn't think it was right for a holiday. I'm not sure whether he meant *any* holiday or just one where J was with A and him. At any rate, this sucks, and I don't care what K says, he isn't in the same position. His parents have always been welcome in this house, and it was and still is my home. K is in a different home, one with stairs that would make it difficult for his dad to maneuver to the bedroom to sleep (his dad has arthritis in his hips) - there are logistical reasons why K could say, hey, y'all might be more comfortable in a hotel than here. I hate that it's coming from me, because it never has before.
This sucks.
K called just now. He's talked to his mom, and now wants me to talk to her and try to dissuade them from staying here. He says he thinks it's inappropriate for them to stay here for the holiday when J will be with A and him, and he hasn't mentioned it to A, but he thinks she'd be uncomfortable with it as well. I told him to speak for himself if he was bothered by it, and to ask A before he said it would bother her - he just insisted that he "knew" it would bother her. I guess I can see that it would be weird having your in-laws staying at their ex-DIL's house, but I'm so used to welcoming them whenever they feel like coming to visit that this hurts. I adore K's parents. I want them to come see us and to feel welcome here. I hate that K wants me to be the one to try to convince them not to stay here. I told him that if he and A were bothered, that needed to come from him, but that I would point out it was K's weekend with J, and that they might want to stay closer to them this visit, not that I minded them staying here but it would be more work for them driving back and forth. I'm sure she'll ask why we couldn't switch weekends, but plans the rest of the month really do work against us doing that. So. I'm not looking forward to this conversation. K says he feels like he's stuck in the middle. Well, so do I. I feel like I'm stuck between what his parents want and what he wants, and if it bothers him and A if they stay here, I wish that would just come from him rather than it coming from me first that I think it might be better if they didn't stay here.
He asked me wouldn't it bother me if Brian's parents went to stay at his ex's house. I said if they still got along, I don't think it would. I know Brian is still on good terms with his ex-ILs, and they get together for dinner periodically, and I'm fine with that. They've told him they'd like to meet me at some point. I'm not bothered by that at all. But maybe I'm just wired differently than some people.
I got upset and cried, and K got all wiggy about that. I told him that it hurt, that I still think of his parents as family and I hate telling them for whatever reason that they can't/shouldn't stay here. He said he wasn't saying they couldn't stay here ever, he just didn't think it was right for a holiday. I'm not sure whether he meant *any* holiday or just one where J was with A and him. At any rate, this sucks, and I don't care what K says, he isn't in the same position. His parents have always been welcome in this house, and it was and still is my home. K is in a different home, one with stairs that would make it difficult for his dad to maneuver to the bedroom to sleep (his dad has arthritis in his hips) - there are logistical reasons why K could say, hey, y'all might be more comfortable in a hotel than here. I hate that it's coming from me, because it never has before.
This sucks.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
It's all about the Benjamins
And alas, I have none.
I took yesterday off. I'm back at work today, feeling a bit better, but I wish I'd taken today off, too. I find I'm running out of steam quickly, and I'm still coughing a fair bit.
Work is getting on my last nerve. Everyone wants something. There's all the uncertainty about what's going to go on with this move to the new pod setup. Apparently our manager isn't sure where he'll end up in the scheme of things. A new center executive position was created for each center in connection with this new model. The manager above my manager is apparently hoping for that job to be hers. If not, she'll likely be competing with the current unit managers for the position of pod manager. So my manager will basically have to interview to keep his job, it sounds like, and he doesn't sound too sure of where he'll end up. That's never a comforting thought. Too much uncertainty, too much BS, and not enough pay. Add the constant financial stress and I'm about at my wits' end. To make matters worse, K put money in my account when it was overdrawn, doing the good thing and helping me out. I thought I'd have my 401(k) money (hardship withdrawal) by now to pay him back. I don't, and they've sent the paperwork back to me because apparently I left something off. AARGH. So now my financial mess is screwing him up, too, and I feel awful about it. I don't know what else to do. It looks like I'll get a decent tax refund, but I don't know how long that will take.
I want to throw up. I want to go home. I don't want to be here until 7:00. (Our phone lines were down this morning, and I was hoping against hope that they wouldn't be fixed so that I could get out of late shift. Alas, it was not to be - they're back up now and I'm here for the duration.)
It has to get better. It just has to.
My friend John referred me to his financial advisor. She called today - we're meeting Tuesday night. I sure hope she can work me a little miracle and help me find money where I'm seeing none.
I took yesterday off. I'm back at work today, feeling a bit better, but I wish I'd taken today off, too. I find I'm running out of steam quickly, and I'm still coughing a fair bit.
Work is getting on my last nerve. Everyone wants something. There's all the uncertainty about what's going to go on with this move to the new pod setup. Apparently our manager isn't sure where he'll end up in the scheme of things. A new center executive position was created for each center in connection with this new model. The manager above my manager is apparently hoping for that job to be hers. If not, she'll likely be competing with the current unit managers for the position of pod manager. So my manager will basically have to interview to keep his job, it sounds like, and he doesn't sound too sure of where he'll end up. That's never a comforting thought. Too much uncertainty, too much BS, and not enough pay. Add the constant financial stress and I'm about at my wits' end. To make matters worse, K put money in my account when it was overdrawn, doing the good thing and helping me out. I thought I'd have my 401(k) money (hardship withdrawal) by now to pay him back. I don't, and they've sent the paperwork back to me because apparently I left something off. AARGH. So now my financial mess is screwing him up, too, and I feel awful about it. I don't know what else to do. It looks like I'll get a decent tax refund, but I don't know how long that will take.
I want to throw up. I want to go home. I don't want to be here until 7:00. (Our phone lines were down this morning, and I was hoping against hope that they wouldn't be fixed so that I could get out of late shift. Alas, it was not to be - they're back up now and I'm here for the duration.)
It has to get better. It just has to.
My friend John referred me to his financial advisor. She called today - we're meeting Tuesday night. I sure hope she can work me a little miracle and help me find money where I'm seeing none.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Somebody take me away? Calgon? Anybody?
Well, I sure hope that all this good activity buzzing around means something good is actually going to happen sooner rather than later, because this job is about to run me right up the wall. I. HATE. IT. Phone calls and proactives and asking for money and bills and whiny people and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!! No, nothing specifically bad happened, it's just a build-up of lots of little shit that's making me crazy.
On the bright side, I checked on realtor.com just for grins. Remember that groovy little townhouse for sale in my old neighborhood? It's still there, and the asking price has come down $8000! How sweet would it be if I could move, buy a new house free and clear, and have NO house payment and NO car payment? That would be outstanding! I know I'm not there yet, but it sure is fun to think about. There are two other properties for sale there, too, one of the larger townhouses (a little more expensive but still within the acceptable price range) and one of the houses (probably too expensive, but still nice to think about). If Baylor works out, I will absolutely FAINT, I'll be so excited. Then we'll just have to send Brian good vibes for a permanent teaching gig at Baylor.
Oh, and Waco has a Montessori school! If I could manage to have no house payment and no car payment, that might be an option for J. Faint. I would absolutely, positively faint with excitement.
On the bright side, I checked on realtor.com just for grins. Remember that groovy little townhouse for sale in my old neighborhood? It's still there, and the asking price has come down $8000! How sweet would it be if I could move, buy a new house free and clear, and have NO house payment and NO car payment? That would be outstanding! I know I'm not there yet, but it sure is fun to think about. There are two other properties for sale there, too, one of the larger townhouses (a little more expensive but still within the acceptable price range) and one of the houses (probably too expensive, but still nice to think about). If Baylor works out, I will absolutely FAINT, I'll be so excited. Then we'll just have to send Brian good vibes for a permanent teaching gig at Baylor.
Oh, and Waco has a Montessori school! If I could manage to have no house payment and no car payment, that might be an option for J. Faint. I would absolutely, positively faint with excitement.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Thank you, sir, may I have another?
Oh, sweet mother of mercy, I am so mad I'm shaking. I've been contemplating lately the direction things might be taking with Brian - after all, we have been seeing each other for just over a year, you wouldn't think you'd spend that much time dating someone (long-distance, no less) if you didn't see some long-term potential. We haven't had the full-out "conversation" yet, but the subject has been touched upon briefly and he's said some things that sound like he's thinking at least about the possibility of something long-term.
Then tonight, I was perusing a board that's of interest to both of us, and I found this in his introductory post after he said he was seeing someone:
"we enjoy each other's company, but I don't think either one of us are really serious about a life-long commitment at this point"
And then he'd posted in the personals forum there, saying he's seeking a relationship - preferably marriage. Pissed off does not even BEGIN to cover it. Ya know, there's no ring on my finger, but he's said things that imply some long term thinking. That post makes me feel that not only is there no long term thinking, but that he doesn't even see the POSSIBILITY!!! At one point he'd said he'd taken his profile down from the site where we met, he wasn't seeing anyone else, wasn't looking. And then tonight I find this little gem. If he's decided he'd like to see other people, I would have appreciated finding it out some way other than by finding his personals post on a board we both frequent. I know our long-distance situation makes it impractical to seriously contemplate anything long-term and/or permanent right now, because a long-distance marriage would suck. But his posts make it sound like he doesn't even see the potential for anything, and if that's the case, then why continue to spend time with me? Just cut your losses and go find your dream girl already.
To quote an old Black Flag song (I think it was Black Flag, maybe not), "goddamnmotherfuckersonofabitch". I wrote him a big long e-mail, because he needs to know I'm pissed and why. He knows what happened to end my marriage. I will not be taken for granted by any man. So. It may be a Brian weekend, it may not.
At this moment, if I saw him, I'd probably kick him in the balls. And I'd love to take his Christmas present and just set it on fire. But then I couldn't resell it if this actually does turn out to be the end of the relationship.
I'll give him a chance to explain himself and tell me his side of the story - after all, even murderers deserve a chance to present a defense. But trust takes time to build, and longer to rebuild, and tonight it took a major hit.
Then tonight, I was perusing a board that's of interest to both of us, and I found this in his introductory post after he said he was seeing someone:
"we enjoy each other's company, but I don't think either one of us are really serious about a life-long commitment at this point"
And then he'd posted in the personals forum there, saying he's seeking a relationship - preferably marriage. Pissed off does not even BEGIN to cover it. Ya know, there's no ring on my finger, but he's said things that imply some long term thinking. That post makes me feel that not only is there no long term thinking, but that he doesn't even see the POSSIBILITY!!! At one point he'd said he'd taken his profile down from the site where we met, he wasn't seeing anyone else, wasn't looking. And then tonight I find this little gem. If he's decided he'd like to see other people, I would have appreciated finding it out some way other than by finding his personals post on a board we both frequent. I know our long-distance situation makes it impractical to seriously contemplate anything long-term and/or permanent right now, because a long-distance marriage would suck. But his posts make it sound like he doesn't even see the potential for anything, and if that's the case, then why continue to spend time with me? Just cut your losses and go find your dream girl already.
To quote an old Black Flag song (I think it was Black Flag, maybe not), "goddamnmotherfuckersonofabitch". I wrote him a big long e-mail, because he needs to know I'm pissed and why. He knows what happened to end my marriage. I will not be taken for granted by any man. So. It may be a Brian weekend, it may not.
At this moment, if I saw him, I'd probably kick him in the balls. And I'd love to take his Christmas present and just set it on fire. But then I couldn't resell it if this actually does turn out to be the end of the relationship.
I'll give him a chance to explain himself and tell me his side of the story - after all, even murderers deserve a chance to present a defense. But trust takes time to build, and longer to rebuild, and tonight it took a major hit.
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