Well, I didn't have to jump back into the daily grind today. Little Bit started running a fever yesterday and had a head full of goopy green snot, so I stayed home and took him to the doctor. Bless his little punkin head, he's got another sinus infection. I'll be glad when we can have him tested for allergies. Until then, it's been recommended that we try Zyrtec, so we'll see if that can help keep him cleared up more often than not.
I don't think I'm cut out to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, at least not while I've got one younger than school-age. That probably sounds funny, as I expect that's when a lot of women would love to stay home, when their babies are small. I love this age (although I will be glad when he gets past the stage where he thinks pulling things off of shelves is the height of entertainment), don't get me wrong, but I think our daycare does a much better job of providing educational opportunities and helping Little Bit learn to socialize than I could if it were left solely up to me. I would love to be able to stay home when both my kids are in school, though. I could volunteer for things at their schools, be here when they get in, and have dinner ready at a sensible hour more often than not (unlike now). Today I picked J up from school. By the time Brian got home, he was finished with his homework, and dinner was indeed well underway. Little Bit was a howling clingy fussy mess, but that's attributable to him not getting much sleep last night and not getting a good nap today (thank you, cough and congestion!). There's something to be said for being a domestic goddess. Sadly, I think my opportunities to do that will be few and far between, and I don't think it will ever work out to be a long-term thing for me.
And tomorrow it really is back to the daily grind. *sigh* Would that it could be otherwise, but it can't, so I guess I'll go off to my job and be thankful for it.
Showing posts with label Things to Think About. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things to Think About. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Happy 4th of July!
I hope we can all take a little time today to remember what this holiday is really about - American independence. God bless our country, and God bless the people who've given their lives to gain that independence for us and those who continue to do so.
I've got a lot to catch up on, and hopefully I'll get the chance to do that sometime this weekend. Today, though, it's cookapalooza at our house. We got a good deal on a lot of meat yesterday, so Brian is firing up the smoker, and we've got potluck at church tomorrow, so I'm whipping up some crawfish fettucine and lemon coconut bars as my contributions. Throw in a few loads of laundry and a couple of Bright Blessings orders to fill, and I think the weekend is just going to fly by!
I've got a lot to catch up on, and hopefully I'll get the chance to do that sometime this weekend. Today, though, it's cookapalooza at our house. We got a good deal on a lot of meat yesterday, so Brian is firing up the smoker, and we've got potluck at church tomorrow, so I'm whipping up some crawfish fettucine and lemon coconut bars as my contributions. Throw in a few loads of laundry and a couple of Bright Blessings orders to fill, and I think the weekend is just going to fly by!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Earth mother
You know, I don't think I'm really suited for corporate America. I grew up in the country, and I like being outside when I've got something to do there. Now that I'm married to a man who also likes the outdoors, we're doing some more outdoorsy-type things. He's planted a couple of trees in the yard, a red oak and a fig, and we're watching them grow. I was out watering them today and it occurred to me that I'd be much happier if I weren't having to schlep to work in the big city, if I could do something from home and tend to our growing things (kids and trees alike). We're planting a garden this year, too, and that will be both food and science experiment - Julian is already excited about the prospect of watching our plants grow (although we'll see how excited he is when he gets to go out and pull weeds! LOL). I like to cook. I like to be outside when I get a chance. Why, then, can't I figure out some way that I could be home doing the things I like more often, instead of sitting behind a desk wishing nine hours of my life away every day?
In other news, I'm now 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. My c-section has been moved to April 17, so I'll be able to make it to J's school program on April 16. This makes me happy. I didn't figure it would be a real good start to his relationship with his brother for me to have to tell him, "sorry, sweetie, I'll miss your program and art show because I'll be in the hospital bringing your brother into the world!" I know the time will come where he'll have to learn that mama will now be dividing time and attention between two boys instead of giving it all to just the one, but I didn't figure right off the bat was the time he *had* to learn that particular lesson.
I've been home sick the past couple of days. I don't know if it's a cold or a sinus infection - the doctor said it was too early to tell, and I can't really take much in the way of good meds, so I've just been drinking lots of fluids and trying to rest. Julian stayed home with me today, too. I figured we could both use a rest. Of course, the day we *could* sleep in, naturally he was awake at the crack of dawn, wanting to know when I was going to get out of bed. Still, it beats being at the office. I don't feel great just yet, but I guess I feel better than I did yesterday. I'm not perky, but I'm not sure if that's from the crud or just from being hugely pregnant.
In other news, I'm now 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. My c-section has been moved to April 17, so I'll be able to make it to J's school program on April 16. This makes me happy. I didn't figure it would be a real good start to his relationship with his brother for me to have to tell him, "sorry, sweetie, I'll miss your program and art show because I'll be in the hospital bringing your brother into the world!" I know the time will come where he'll have to learn that mama will now be dividing time and attention between two boys instead of giving it all to just the one, but I didn't figure right off the bat was the time he *had* to learn that particular lesson.
I've been home sick the past couple of days. I don't know if it's a cold or a sinus infection - the doctor said it was too early to tell, and I can't really take much in the way of good meds, so I've just been drinking lots of fluids and trying to rest. Julian stayed home with me today, too. I figured we could both use a rest. Of course, the day we *could* sleep in, naturally he was awake at the crack of dawn, wanting to know when I was going to get out of bed. Still, it beats being at the office. I don't feel great just yet, but I guess I feel better than I did yesterday. I'm not perky, but I'm not sure if that's from the crud or just from being hugely pregnant.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A lot on my mind
Well, there still hasn't been any word from any school districts in the area. Not sure what's up with that. But Brian does have an interview next week with Lone Star. Yay? Eek? I waffle between really hoping it works out and thinking, "oh, crap, what will we do if it works out?!" He'll go down there next Wednesday night and go out to Lone Star for his five-day interview/training on Thursday morning. It's my understanding that once he's done with the five days, if he likes them and they like him, they'll hammer out the details and settle on a start date right then. If he gets it, there will definitely be some adjustments to be made and some changes to get used to. But Brian and I talked, and we think that him finding something that brings in some income, to get our finances more secure, is essential right now. If it makes for some weird logistics, so be it. I just hope that, if he does get the job, my work will work with me to figure out a schedule for Brian's "on" days that allows me to get J to and from school on time and still take the bus. If I have to go back to driving on days Brian isn't here, 1) I won't like going back to driving because taking the bus is so much less stressful, and 2) I'll be really annoyed that I'll have paid for a bus pass and still end up paying for parking half the time. But we're not there yet, so I won't waste energy getting annoyed right now.
The timing of the interview could be better. Brian had asked about the possibility of going this week, but that wouldn't have given Lone Star time to get his background check done. So, next Thursday through the following Monday it is. Brian will miss Meet the Teacher night and the first day of school, but it is what it is. The more I think about it, the more I really hope this does work out, inconvenient logistics notwithstanding. If it doesn't, we really don't have any other options right now. And that just won't do.
And on a somewhat related note - the topic of having kids. Brian has no kids of his own, and had previously said he'd really like to try to have at least one. We went out to dinner on Friday - it had been a bit of a discouraging week, and we figured a beer (for him) and a margarita (for me) were in order. We had a good talk, specifically on the topic of having kids. He said that while yes, he'd like to have one, he's kind of the school of thought that if it happens, it happens. He said that on one hand, he wanted us to try as much for a child as K and I did to get J here, to make it fair, but he said he knew that wouldn't be any way to go into it if I were only going through it to be "fair". I told him how I felt about not being sure that I could go through all the poking and prodding and testing again, not having any guarantee of success, and that I already knew I wouldn't go any farther than I'd done with J - I'm not going the route of injectables and IVF, I just can't. I told him that I worry, too, about the higher potential for problems, either for me or for a baby, now that I'm 40. I also pointed out the likely difficulties I'd have with getting any kind of understanding from my work for appointments - if I'm pregnant, sure, they'll likely be understanding of that, but fertility treatments/trying to get pregnant? There'd be a lot of appointments for testing, and I can see work saying that that was a voluntary thing and not cut me much slack at all. So there's that to consider, too. I think at this point, we're both of the opinion that if it happens, it happens and we'll be glad, but we're not taking any extraordinary measures to make it happen. Once Brian is working and we might have a little extra money for out of pocket expenses, that may change. But right now, we're not doing anything in terms of medical intervention, and we're good with that.
Tying that in to the Lone Star interview - how funny would it be (and I don't mean funny ha-ha) if God, in His infinite wisdom, decided that now would be a perfect time for me to get pregnant? I think I'd pull my hair out. I'd be excited, and scared, and all that good stuff, but I'd pull my hair out in absolute frustration at the timing, especially if Brian gets the job. But again, I'll jump off that bridge if I get to it. I'm not there yet.
J went to Six Flags with K and A and his four stepsiblings yesterday. Given his reluctance to try things most kids would consider great fun, I was a little worried about how it might turn out. I wasted a good worry. He did whine initially that he didn't want to try this, that or the other thing, but once he got on the bumper cars, that was all it took. He was hooked. J told me last night that he was tall enough to ride the Texas Giant. I asked him if he rode it, and he said, "No, but I'm tall enough to ride it if I want to." LOL I'm glad he had a good time, and I'm glad that he seems to be realizing it's OK for him to do that, to spend time with his dad and enjoy himself and come home and tell me what he did. K loves J and wants very much to be part of his life, and I want to encourage that, and it makes things so much easier on both of us if J can go with his dad without crying and getting upset over leaving me.
And now for something completely different: Bright Blessings has an Etsy shop! If you're unfamiliar with Etsy, it's a super online marketplace where you can find all sorts of handmade goodies for sale. Clothes, bath and body, candles, paper goods, jewelry, artwork, Etsy's got it. All the items listed in Bright Blessings' shop are in stock and ready for immediate shipment. I'll be putting up more goodies in the next couple of weeks, including bubble bars, scrubs, wax tarts, and all sorts of things in fall and holiday preview scents. Go take a look around - feel free to buy, or just send me a convo and say hi and tell me you saw the link on my blog! :-) I'm pretty excited about it.
Moving on to another tangent, have you ever checked out Craigslist? If not, give it a look and see if there's one specific to your area. We've found some really good things on there lately. Brian got something like 150 board feet of nice cedar wood for free, all he had to do was go get it, and a big load of dirt for our front yard for free, again just for the going to get it. He got a new Ryobi circular saw, in the box, for $50 and a fabulous leather jacket for $30. I've sold a few things on there myself. Check it out, you never know what you might find!
The timing of the interview could be better. Brian had asked about the possibility of going this week, but that wouldn't have given Lone Star time to get his background check done. So, next Thursday through the following Monday it is. Brian will miss Meet the Teacher night and the first day of school, but it is what it is. The more I think about it, the more I really hope this does work out, inconvenient logistics notwithstanding. If it doesn't, we really don't have any other options right now. And that just won't do.
And on a somewhat related note - the topic of having kids. Brian has no kids of his own, and had previously said he'd really like to try to have at least one. We went out to dinner on Friday - it had been a bit of a discouraging week, and we figured a beer (for him) and a margarita (for me) were in order. We had a good talk, specifically on the topic of having kids. He said that while yes, he'd like to have one, he's kind of the school of thought that if it happens, it happens. He said that on one hand, he wanted us to try as much for a child as K and I did to get J here, to make it fair, but he said he knew that wouldn't be any way to go into it if I were only going through it to be "fair". I told him how I felt about not being sure that I could go through all the poking and prodding and testing again, not having any guarantee of success, and that I already knew I wouldn't go any farther than I'd done with J - I'm not going the route of injectables and IVF, I just can't. I told him that I worry, too, about the higher potential for problems, either for me or for a baby, now that I'm 40. I also pointed out the likely difficulties I'd have with getting any kind of understanding from my work for appointments - if I'm pregnant, sure, they'll likely be understanding of that, but fertility treatments/trying to get pregnant? There'd be a lot of appointments for testing, and I can see work saying that that was a voluntary thing and not cut me much slack at all. So there's that to consider, too. I think at this point, we're both of the opinion that if it happens, it happens and we'll be glad, but we're not taking any extraordinary measures to make it happen. Once Brian is working and we might have a little extra money for out of pocket expenses, that may change. But right now, we're not doing anything in terms of medical intervention, and we're good with that.
Tying that in to the Lone Star interview - how funny would it be (and I don't mean funny ha-ha) if God, in His infinite wisdom, decided that now would be a perfect time for me to get pregnant? I think I'd pull my hair out. I'd be excited, and scared, and all that good stuff, but I'd pull my hair out in absolute frustration at the timing, especially if Brian gets the job. But again, I'll jump off that bridge if I get to it. I'm not there yet.
J went to Six Flags with K and A and his four stepsiblings yesterday. Given his reluctance to try things most kids would consider great fun, I was a little worried about how it might turn out. I wasted a good worry. He did whine initially that he didn't want to try this, that or the other thing, but once he got on the bumper cars, that was all it took. He was hooked. J told me last night that he was tall enough to ride the Texas Giant. I asked him if he rode it, and he said, "No, but I'm tall enough to ride it if I want to." LOL I'm glad he had a good time, and I'm glad that he seems to be realizing it's OK for him to do that, to spend time with his dad and enjoy himself and come home and tell me what he did. K loves J and wants very much to be part of his life, and I want to encourage that, and it makes things so much easier on both of us if J can go with his dad without crying and getting upset over leaving me.
And now for something completely different: Bright Blessings has an Etsy shop! If you're unfamiliar with Etsy, it's a super online marketplace where you can find all sorts of handmade goodies for sale. Clothes, bath and body, candles, paper goods, jewelry, artwork, Etsy's got it. All the items listed in Bright Blessings' shop are in stock and ready for immediate shipment. I'll be putting up more goodies in the next couple of weeks, including bubble bars, scrubs, wax tarts, and all sorts of things in fall and holiday preview scents. Go take a look around - feel free to buy, or just send me a convo and say hi and tell me you saw the link on my blog! :-) I'm pretty excited about it.
Moving on to another tangent, have you ever checked out Craigslist? If not, give it a look and see if there's one specific to your area. We've found some really good things on there lately. Brian got something like 150 board feet of nice cedar wood for free, all he had to do was go get it, and a big load of dirt for our front yard for free, again just for the going to get it. He got a new Ryobi circular saw, in the box, for $50 and a fabulous leather jacket for $30. I've sold a few things on there myself. Check it out, you never know what you might find!
Friday, May 09, 2008
A lot rolling around in the old noggin
I seem to be all full of thoughts and happenings today.
I thought I was going to have to reach through the phone and smack K this morning. I mentioned that J wasn't inclined to work on his spelling words last night, and K got all on his high horse, saying, "Well, you have to make him study!" Um, no, can't do it. K couldn't seem to grasp the difference between consequences for refusing to study/not doing well and actual studying being done. I can yell, take away TV, take away computer time, take away the Wii and the DS, but I can't MAKE J practice his spelling words with me if he's not of a mind to. I can't MAKE the words come out of his mouth if he's determined not to say them. K kept arguing with me that I had to make him study - it doesn't work that way. I can make life unpleasant if he doesn't, and if he does poorly when he should have done well, but I can't make learning happen no matter what I might try. So that was a wearing start to my morning.
Brian had a half-day assignment teaching fourth grade at J's school. Yay! Half a day of pay is better than a kick to the head, right? Of course, he came out after school to find that the van had a flat tire. *sigh* He has a full-size spare, so he made it home OK, but that means that at some point we'll have to buy at least one new tire (or perhaps two, to keep things even). He just had an alignment done and put two new tires on to the tune of $200+ earlier this week. It's always something, isn't it?
This weekend's big plans: cleaning the garage! Woo woo!!! It needs a cleaning, and some stuff needs a damn good throwing away. J has talked me into a trip to Burger King, too. He doesn't care so much about the food, he just wants the Iron Man toys. Oy.
I'm going to have samples in May's Little Black Box, and hopefully that will drum up some business for the birthday sale I'm having in June. Tonight I've got to box up samples. I meant to do it last night, but I was so tired, it just didn't happen. I really hope that brings in some business. Seriously, since Monday I've had virtually no traffic on my website - less than ten hits a day. ???? I had something like 46 each day on Sunday and Monday, and then big fat nothin' since then. Days like this make me wonder whether Bright Blessings needs to continue, or whether I should just call it a rather pricey lesson learned, take down the site, sell off the supplies, and call it quits, and maybe just make stuff as gifts for friends and family and for our own personal use. I keep telling myself I haven't even been in business for a year, and it may take time to really build up a following. It's just discouraging sometimes, though, especially after Spring Fling wasn't what I'd hoped for.
I don't know if I'll make my Denver trip after all (I'd planned to go to Denver this fall to meet up with a group of ladies I've known online for a good number of years - I may not have met most of them in person, but I'm proud to call them friends). I just found a flight to Denver from DFW for $168. The bad thing is, I don't know if I should book a flight or not. I really really really really want to go, but realistically, I'm not sure we'll be able to swing it. Yeah, the ticket is relatively cheap. But then there'd be my share of the house that the group is renting and spending money, and none of that is cheap. The trip comes before Brian's first paycheck would be due (assuming he does indeed have a full-time job for the 2008-09 school year, and I can't see why he wouldn't) - school starts August 25, which means the first pay period doesn't even end until after the trip, and his first paycheck wouldn't come until late October. I just don't know if we can justify spending $500 or so on a trip for me to see my friends, no matter how badly I may want to do it. Dammit, being a responsible grownup sucks rocks. This will be the third get-together I've missed if I don't get to go, and it makes me sad. I entered a contest where the prize is 250,000 airline miles, and that would help if I won, but that's no guarantee.
And I worry about things like finances, and then something pushes that back into perspective. An online friend knows a family whose little boy has some form of cancer, and his life expectancy was short, as in a year or so. Then suddenly they found out he had a slow bleed where the tumor was, and if that picked up and started bleeding more, his life expectancy would drop down to weeks or days. Yesterday the parents were arranging hospice care for their son. This really got to me. I cried half the way home, because I just can't imagine the wrenching pain of thinking you have a perfectly healthy child, to finding out your child is seriously ill, to finding out your child is terminal and doesn't have much longer to live. I had to thank God for my busy, stubborn, messy, loud, junk-food-eating, video-game-playing, not-sleeping, strong, healthy little boy, and I had to give him lots of hugs last night.
OK, to lighten things up just a little, here's a random question for the day: You know whenever you post on some message boards, you get the little message saying your message has been posted, please wait for your browser to forward you, and then it says something to the effect of, "if you do not wish to wait, click here"? If you can "click here" and not wait, why wait at all? That makes no sense to me. (Yes, it's Friday, and I'm distracted easily. LOL)
Hooray, it's almost time to go home! In case I don't post again this weekend, Happy Mother's Day to anyone reading this who's a mom! :) And go hug your own mother and tell her you love her - I'd pay money to be able to hug my mom.
I thought I was going to have to reach through the phone and smack K this morning. I mentioned that J wasn't inclined to work on his spelling words last night, and K got all on his high horse, saying, "Well, you have to make him study!" Um, no, can't do it. K couldn't seem to grasp the difference between consequences for refusing to study/not doing well and actual studying being done. I can yell, take away TV, take away computer time, take away the Wii and the DS, but I can't MAKE J practice his spelling words with me if he's not of a mind to. I can't MAKE the words come out of his mouth if he's determined not to say them. K kept arguing with me that I had to make him study - it doesn't work that way. I can make life unpleasant if he doesn't, and if he does poorly when he should have done well, but I can't make learning happen no matter what I might try. So that was a wearing start to my morning.
Brian had a half-day assignment teaching fourth grade at J's school. Yay! Half a day of pay is better than a kick to the head, right? Of course, he came out after school to find that the van had a flat tire. *sigh* He has a full-size spare, so he made it home OK, but that means that at some point we'll have to buy at least one new tire (or perhaps two, to keep things even). He just had an alignment done and put two new tires on to the tune of $200+ earlier this week. It's always something, isn't it?
This weekend's big plans: cleaning the garage! Woo woo!!! It needs a cleaning, and some stuff needs a damn good throwing away. J has talked me into a trip to Burger King, too. He doesn't care so much about the food, he just wants the Iron Man toys. Oy.
I'm going to have samples in May's Little Black Box, and hopefully that will drum up some business for the birthday sale I'm having in June. Tonight I've got to box up samples. I meant to do it last night, but I was so tired, it just didn't happen. I really hope that brings in some business. Seriously, since Monday I've had virtually no traffic on my website - less than ten hits a day. ???? I had something like 46 each day on Sunday and Monday, and then big fat nothin' since then. Days like this make me wonder whether Bright Blessings needs to continue, or whether I should just call it a rather pricey lesson learned, take down the site, sell off the supplies, and call it quits, and maybe just make stuff as gifts for friends and family and for our own personal use. I keep telling myself I haven't even been in business for a year, and it may take time to really build up a following. It's just discouraging sometimes, though, especially after Spring Fling wasn't what I'd hoped for.
I don't know if I'll make my Denver trip after all (I'd planned to go to Denver this fall to meet up with a group of ladies I've known online for a good number of years - I may not have met most of them in person, but I'm proud to call them friends). I just found a flight to Denver from DFW for $168. The bad thing is, I don't know if I should book a flight or not. I really really really really want to go, but realistically, I'm not sure we'll be able to swing it. Yeah, the ticket is relatively cheap. But then there'd be my share of the house that the group is renting and spending money, and none of that is cheap. The trip comes before Brian's first paycheck would be due (assuming he does indeed have a full-time job for the 2008-09 school year, and I can't see why he wouldn't) - school starts August 25, which means the first pay period doesn't even end until after the trip, and his first paycheck wouldn't come until late October. I just don't know if we can justify spending $500 or so on a trip for me to see my friends, no matter how badly I may want to do it. Dammit, being a responsible grownup sucks rocks. This will be the third get-together I've missed if I don't get to go, and it makes me sad. I entered a contest where the prize is 250,000 airline miles, and that would help if I won, but that's no guarantee.
And I worry about things like finances, and then something pushes that back into perspective. An online friend knows a family whose little boy has some form of cancer, and his life expectancy was short, as in a year or so. Then suddenly they found out he had a slow bleed where the tumor was, and if that picked up and started bleeding more, his life expectancy would drop down to weeks or days. Yesterday the parents were arranging hospice care for their son. This really got to me. I cried half the way home, because I just can't imagine the wrenching pain of thinking you have a perfectly healthy child, to finding out your child is seriously ill, to finding out your child is terminal and doesn't have much longer to live. I had to thank God for my busy, stubborn, messy, loud, junk-food-eating, video-game-playing, not-sleeping, strong, healthy little boy, and I had to give him lots of hugs last night.
OK, to lighten things up just a little, here's a random question for the day: You know whenever you post on some message boards, you get the little message saying your message has been posted, please wait for your browser to forward you, and then it says something to the effect of, "if you do not wish to wait, click here"? If you can "click here" and not wait, why wait at all? That makes no sense to me. (Yes, it's Friday, and I'm distracted easily. LOL)
Hooray, it's almost time to go home! In case I don't post again this weekend, Happy Mother's Day to anyone reading this who's a mom! :) And go hug your own mother and tell her you love her - I'd pay money to be able to hug my mom.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
It seemed like a good idea at the time - now how do I get out of it?
I have a feeling things are about to take a turn at work that I'm not going to like. I wanted the role I have now because it doesn't involve administering a book of accounts - that's what I did when I started, and frankly, I wasn't cut out for it. Well, my cohort on another team is taking on some accounts, due to the fact that we've had some people leave and can only replace internally. There aren't any more people to move around internally, so some accounts from the people who are leaving are having to be divided up among the teams, and he's going to be administering accounts now. I foresee a future where I fill both the role I'm in now, which is OK, and also become an administrator of a smaller book of accounts, which I do not want, and I am so not happy about it. I had a book of accounts - I hated it. I sucked at it. Do. Not. Want.
This job seemed like such a good idea in 2004. It surely hasn't turned out that way, has it? I've met some wonderful people, but the job itself hasn't done me any favors. I'm probably making at least $10,000 less than I would be now if I'd stayed at my previous job - not getting raises or bonuses is painful. I'm not using my law degree. I'm so far removed from using my law degree that I'd probably have a hard time getting a good job in the legal profession. (I'm not real torn up about that, though, as I don't think I'm really wired to be a truly good attorney anyway.) I just feel like I've boxed myself in here, I don't know where to turn next, and I hate that feeling.
So, what might I do if I could?
~Something computer-related - I love working with computers. I'm the IT person for our team when the IT guy isn't around. LOL I'd rock as, say, a programmer. he downside is, I've got no formal training or education in the field, the market isn't great right now, and I'd likely have to start out in a call center setting, where the pay would suck and the work would give me an ulcer.
~Court reporting - I type quickly and accurately, I've got a legal background, and I'm persnickety about details. The downside is, getting the certification would cost me about $25,000 and take me five years to complete, going to school at night (I figure I won't be in a position to quit my day job, we can't make it on just Brian's teaching salary).
~Medical transcription - the downside is, certification is required (at about 18 months and about $3500 taking the coursework online, it's not as daunting as court reporting, but it's something to consider all the same), and based on information from friends who work in transcription, more jobs may be going overseas and it may be harder to find work here. Which stinks, because I would totally rock at transcription. I did it part-time last year, and I was up to about 200 lines an hour, which is damn good. Experienced transcriptionists are considered to do well if they can transcribe about 150 lines an hour. And I could hopefully find a job that would let me work from home, where I'd have only myself to deal with during most work days, I'd be left alone to do my work, I'd turn it in when I was done, I'd get more work, and life would go right on. I wouldn't have to worry about being someone's backup when they're out on medical leave for weeks, or answering phones because we're shorthanded, or anything like that. It would be perfect for me, but given the current conditions in the field, I'm not sure it would work out that way.
~Librarian - I actually contemplated getting my MLS and going to work as a librarian. With a law degree and an MLS, I'd be a great law librarian. The biggest downside to that is that law librarian positions are few and far between, and there's no guarantee that a job would open up where I want to be (that is to say, here). I don't want to move. I don't want to go live in BFE, New York because that's where a law librarian job is. And most librarian jobs appear to pay less than what I'm making now, so that isn't a good thing, either.
~Teaching - I've considered getting my alternative certification and going into teaching. Lots of pros, mostly centered around my schedule being compatible with J's schedule and (hopefully) me having a much shorter commute, saving on gas and parking and wear and tear on the car. But deep down, I have my doubts as to whether I'm really cut out to be a teacher. I'm not sure I have the patience for it, and that's a big enough career change that I wouldn't want to make it without being reasonably sure I'd do all right in the field. Again, there'd be some education/training involved - I'd have to take the coursework to be certified to teach, and that costs about $2000, if I recall correctly.
So, I've got lots of ideas, but nothing that I can see as being really viable. *sigh* Who knows, maybe Bright Blessings will take off at some point. I'll be sending samples to the Boutique Boxes, which is a sample box sold to retailers looking for products they can buy wholesale and resell in their own shops - if someone loves my stuff, maybe I'll get a good wholesale order or two out of the deal. I'd be happy if Bright Blessings did well enough that I could work part-time doing something or other, and then do tarts and candles and whatnot the rest of the time. I don't know if that's realistic, though. I should have stuck to some form of science as my major in college and given law a miss altogether, and this is why I think it's generally not the best idea to have people deciding what they want to major in, what field they want to pursue, what they want to be when they grow up, when they're 18 or 19 or 20 years old. I'd love to see J go out and work for a while after high school, see what's out there, try to figure out what he's really good at and what his passion is. I don't want to see him like me, starting out with a world of potential and ending up feeling stuck in some dead-end job and wishing I'd made different choices all those years ago.
There's got to be more out there than this. I just have to figure out what "more" might be for me and how to get there.
This job seemed like such a good idea in 2004. It surely hasn't turned out that way, has it? I've met some wonderful people, but the job itself hasn't done me any favors. I'm probably making at least $10,000 less than I would be now if I'd stayed at my previous job - not getting raises or bonuses is painful. I'm not using my law degree. I'm so far removed from using my law degree that I'd probably have a hard time getting a good job in the legal profession. (I'm not real torn up about that, though, as I don't think I'm really wired to be a truly good attorney anyway.) I just feel like I've boxed myself in here, I don't know where to turn next, and I hate that feeling.
So, what might I do if I could?
~Something computer-related - I love working with computers. I'm the IT person for our team when the IT guy isn't around. LOL I'd rock as, say, a programmer. he downside is, I've got no formal training or education in the field, the market isn't great right now, and I'd likely have to start out in a call center setting, where the pay would suck and the work would give me an ulcer.
~Court reporting - I type quickly and accurately, I've got a legal background, and I'm persnickety about details. The downside is, getting the certification would cost me about $25,000 and take me five years to complete, going to school at night (I figure I won't be in a position to quit my day job, we can't make it on just Brian's teaching salary).
~Medical transcription - the downside is, certification is required (at about 18 months and about $3500 taking the coursework online, it's not as daunting as court reporting, but it's something to consider all the same), and based on information from friends who work in transcription, more jobs may be going overseas and it may be harder to find work here. Which stinks, because I would totally rock at transcription. I did it part-time last year, and I was up to about 200 lines an hour, which is damn good. Experienced transcriptionists are considered to do well if they can transcribe about 150 lines an hour. And I could hopefully find a job that would let me work from home, where I'd have only myself to deal with during most work days, I'd be left alone to do my work, I'd turn it in when I was done, I'd get more work, and life would go right on. I wouldn't have to worry about being someone's backup when they're out on medical leave for weeks, or answering phones because we're shorthanded, or anything like that. It would be perfect for me, but given the current conditions in the field, I'm not sure it would work out that way.
~Librarian - I actually contemplated getting my MLS and going to work as a librarian. With a law degree and an MLS, I'd be a great law librarian. The biggest downside to that is that law librarian positions are few and far between, and there's no guarantee that a job would open up where I want to be (that is to say, here). I don't want to move. I don't want to go live in BFE, New York because that's where a law librarian job is. And most librarian jobs appear to pay less than what I'm making now, so that isn't a good thing, either.
~Teaching - I've considered getting my alternative certification and going into teaching. Lots of pros, mostly centered around my schedule being compatible with J's schedule and (hopefully) me having a much shorter commute, saving on gas and parking and wear and tear on the car. But deep down, I have my doubts as to whether I'm really cut out to be a teacher. I'm not sure I have the patience for it, and that's a big enough career change that I wouldn't want to make it without being reasonably sure I'd do all right in the field. Again, there'd be some education/training involved - I'd have to take the coursework to be certified to teach, and that costs about $2000, if I recall correctly.
So, I've got lots of ideas, but nothing that I can see as being really viable. *sigh* Who knows, maybe Bright Blessings will take off at some point. I'll be sending samples to the Boutique Boxes, which is a sample box sold to retailers looking for products they can buy wholesale and resell in their own shops - if someone loves my stuff, maybe I'll get a good wholesale order or two out of the deal. I'd be happy if Bright Blessings did well enough that I could work part-time doing something or other, and then do tarts and candles and whatnot the rest of the time. I don't know if that's realistic, though. I should have stuck to some form of science as my major in college and given law a miss altogether, and this is why I think it's generally not the best idea to have people deciding what they want to major in, what field they want to pursue, what they want to be when they grow up, when they're 18 or 19 or 20 years old. I'd love to see J go out and work for a while after high school, see what's out there, try to figure out what he's really good at and what his passion is. I don't want to see him like me, starting out with a world of potential and ending up feeling stuck in some dead-end job and wishing I'd made different choices all those years ago.
There's got to be more out there than this. I just have to figure out what "more" might be for me and how to get there.
Friday, July 13, 2007
My one and only
People keep asking me when I'm going to have another baby. I smile politely and tell them I don't plan on having any more at this time, and they look at me like I've sprouted a horn. Why is everyone so interested in my reproductive plans, or the lack thereof? I'm already a single mother, does anyone seriously think that this would be a good time for me to even contemplate having a child? (And yes, most of the people doing the asking are well aware that I'm divorced.) And why do so many people think being an only child is somehow an impediment? I grew up an only child (I say "grew up" because I was adopted, and it turns out I have half-siblings, but to my parents, I was an only child). I turned out OK, I think. I've actually had people say to me, "Gee, you don't act like an only child, I never would have guessed." ??? What exactly are only children supposed to act like, and why do so many people seem to think I'm dooming J to some substandard life by not having a sibling for him to torment...I mean, play with?
I know Brian would like to have a child, and should we be married, I'm willing to try (although I'm not getting any younger!). Not sure what lengths I'd be willing to go to if it didn't happen naturally, and I've told him it might not, because we had to have help to get J here. But if I never have another child, I won't be crushed. I won't feel like my life is any less full because I'm the mother of one rather than the mother of more. I never envisioned myself as having a whole passel of kids, anyway. There were days I didn't think I'd even ever get married, much less have kids, and there are days now where I'm so close to the end of my rope that I wonder if God *really* knew what He was doing when He blessed me with J. (And yes, he is a blessing, even if there are days he makes me want to bang my head into a wall!) So I'm perfectly happy with one. How is anyone else qualified to question that decision? Most days I'm OK with it, but today it bugs me. I'm in a mood, and being asked that gets a bit old.
We had a baby shower for a co-worker this afternoon. She's having a little girl, so she got tons of cute pastel pink and ruffly stuff, and a tiny part of me thought, wow, if I had a little girl, I could get all that pink ruffly stuff. And the bigger part of me though, what are you, nuts? J can walk and talk and carry on a conversation and tell you what's going on and sleeps all night most nights (even if bedtime isn't necessarily early or easy) and he's potty trained and you're done with bottles and diapers and up every three hours - would you really go back to that?
Only if God has a sense of humor and life works out just right.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Today's tarot card
From Tarot.com:
Judgment
General Meaning: What has traditionally been known as the Judgement card, sometimes entitled Resurrection, represents the great reunion that the ancients believed would happen once in every age. This was the time when souls are harvested and taken Home to their place of origin, outside the solar system. Then the World is seeded with a batch of new souls and the process starts over.
From a modern point of view, this great reunion -- which includes every personality that you have ever been and every soul that you have done deep work with -- reunites to consciously complete the process. In a way, we symbolically celebrate this returning to center every year on our birthday.
In personal terms, the Judgment cards points to freedom from inner conflicts, and so clear a channel, that the buried talents and gifts of past incarnations can come through an individual in this lifetime. This card counsels you to trust the process of opening yourself, because what emerges is of consistently high quality. You can effortlessly manifest as a multi-dimensional being, and assist in evoking that response from others.
Fast Facts
About Judgment
Theme: A gathering of lost fragments allows you to connect to your Higher Self.
Astro Association: Pluto
Element: Fire
Number: 20
Alias: Aeon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know tarot cards and their meanings aren't generally couched in Christian terms, and one thing I've learned over the past few years is that, no matter what other things I may have dabbled in, I am a Christian. But I still get meaning from these - they speak to me, and I see application to my current situation. And the direction in which they seem to be pointing is one of good.
Come on, 2007. Let's see what you've got in store.
Judgment
General Meaning: What has traditionally been known as the Judgement card, sometimes entitled Resurrection, represents the great reunion that the ancients believed would happen once in every age. This was the time when souls are harvested and taken Home to their place of origin, outside the solar system. Then the World is seeded with a batch of new souls and the process starts over.
From a modern point of view, this great reunion -- which includes every personality that you have ever been and every soul that you have done deep work with -- reunites to consciously complete the process. In a way, we symbolically celebrate this returning to center every year on our birthday.
In personal terms, the Judgment cards points to freedom from inner conflicts, and so clear a channel, that the buried talents and gifts of past incarnations can come through an individual in this lifetime. This card counsels you to trust the process of opening yourself, because what emerges is of consistently high quality. You can effortlessly manifest as a multi-dimensional being, and assist in evoking that response from others.
Fast Facts
About Judgment
Theme: A gathering of lost fragments allows you to connect to your Higher Self.
Astro Association: Pluto
Element: Fire
Number: 20
Alias: Aeon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know tarot cards and their meanings aren't generally couched in Christian terms, and one thing I've learned over the past few years is that, no matter what other things I may have dabbled in, I am a Christian. But I still get meaning from these - they speak to me, and I see application to my current situation. And the direction in which they seem to be pointing is one of good.
Come on, 2007. Let's see what you've got in store.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
They're coming to take me away, ha ha
Today has turned into one of those days that makes me think that "anywhere else" is a valid option right now (albeit with a continued eye on and progress toward any long-term goals). Busy busy, want want, need need, gottahaveit, don'tlikeyouranswer, and on and on. They are crawling out of the woodwork, and it makes me want to hide. The oil and gas position wouldn't require phone time or proactive calls, and that would make me very happy indeed, and would significantly reduce my stress level.
Forget more education, maybe I can just write a blockbuster novel like Grisham. *SIGH* I might try writing, just for grins. The worst it can do is suck, right? My biggest questions are 1) can I come up with a story, and 2) can I *tell* a story?
And maybe more education *isn't* what I need. Maybe I just need to find a job that actually uses my law degree and that's a better fit for me. From what I've seen, most library positions pay less than or just about what I make now. Of course, law librarians are faculty, and I have no idea what kind of salary they pull in. Probably more than your average librarian, or at least I'd think so. I may ask the career services director at the law school if she could give me some information on that, just in general terms.
On a related but tangential note, Johnson County needs a prosecutor. Sounds about like what I did for Ellis County, and it's about the same commute as what I'm making now (only with less traffic - I could probably get to Cleburne faster than I can get to downtown Dallas). Can't hurt to apply, although the low end of the salary range isn't great.
(Meno, I'm chasing my tail, running all the way to the ends of the earth. Quit laughing.)
Forget more education, maybe I can just write a blockbuster novel like Grisham. *SIGH* I might try writing, just for grins. The worst it can do is suck, right? My biggest questions are 1) can I come up with a story, and 2) can I *tell* a story?
And maybe more education *isn't* what I need. Maybe I just need to find a job that actually uses my law degree and that's a better fit for me. From what I've seen, most library positions pay less than or just about what I make now. Of course, law librarians are faculty, and I have no idea what kind of salary they pull in. Probably more than your average librarian, or at least I'd think so. I may ask the career services director at the law school if she could give me some information on that, just in general terms.
On a related but tangential note, Johnson County needs a prosecutor. Sounds about like what I did for Ellis County, and it's about the same commute as what I'm making now (only with less traffic - I could probably get to Cleburne faster than I can get to downtown Dallas). Can't hurt to apply, although the low end of the salary range isn't great.
(Meno, I'm chasing my tail, running all the way to the ends of the earth. Quit laughing.)
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Huh.
I just got an e-mail from one of our recruiters - she's going to be contacting me within a few days regarding an internal position I applied for. It's in a different part of the company, not where I am now. It might not be a forever position, but anything, just about, would be better than where I am right now.
Of course, I then have to think - if I were to be offered this position, and accept it, would it be getting me any closer to where I might want to be in the future, or farther away? I think all it would accomplish would be to get me out of here. I don't think it's anything I'd be passionate about, I don't know that it's anything that would interest me for the long term. It would just be somewhere other than here.
At any rate, it's nice to have at least a little interest expressed, and it never hurts to talk.
Edited to add: I realize I'm putting the cart way ahead of the horse here, thinking about whether this position would further my long-term goals or be something I could be passionate about. I've already interviewed, made myself a job offer, and talked myself out of the position, all before I've talked to the recruiter! LOL
Or maybe I'm just starting to really think about my life, rather than making reactive decisions to bad situations. Sucky job, offer of new job - knee-jerk reaction, take new job and get the hell out. Thoughtful reaction - if new job offers no opportunities to improve the skills I really want to make a living using, or develop new skills that would help me make a living I'll enjoy, why take it? Keep looking.
Of course, I then have to think - if I were to be offered this position, and accept it, would it be getting me any closer to where I might want to be in the future, or farther away? I think all it would accomplish would be to get me out of here. I don't think it's anything I'd be passionate about, I don't know that it's anything that would interest me for the long term. It would just be somewhere other than here.
At any rate, it's nice to have at least a little interest expressed, and it never hurts to talk.
Edited to add: I realize I'm putting the cart way ahead of the horse here, thinking about whether this position would further my long-term goals or be something I could be passionate about. I've already interviewed, made myself a job offer, and talked myself out of the position, all before I've talked to the recruiter! LOL
Or maybe I'm just starting to really think about my life, rather than making reactive decisions to bad situations. Sucky job, offer of new job - knee-jerk reaction, take new job and get the hell out. Thoughtful reaction - if new job offers no opportunities to improve the skills I really want to make a living using, or develop new skills that would help me make a living I'll enjoy, why take it? Keep looking.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Monday
I'm here. Nothing disastrous has happened yet. It makes me tense.
And this may sound funny, but in some ways it would be a relief if the worst-case scenario came to pass. Yeah, it would be scary as all get out having no job and not knowing when I would have one, but at least I wouldn't be coming in every day to face the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I'd KNOW where I stood.
I'm reading a book called Inside Every Woman by Vicki Milazzo. It's supposed to help you achieve your goals of a meaningful career and life, and one of the things it talks about is determining what you're passionate about. What are the things you get so wrapped up in that you have to be torn away from them? I'm chewing on that right now. What am I passionate about? My child. The rights and well-being of children in general. Books. Writing. Food. Cooking. Music. Certainly NOT what I do now.
So I'm trying to think - what could I do that would let me work with my passions? Write? Become a chef? A caterer? A librarian? Most things would require time, capital, additional education or all of the above. Still. I've sent off to Texas Woman's University for information on their Master's of Library Science degree - you can do it online, which would work well for me assuming I could get tuition and time to study squared away. I may try my hand at writing. It can't hurt. I may see what I'd have to do to become a caterer or a chef. I can't do anything if I don't know what my options are, right?
And this may sound funny, but in some ways it would be a relief if the worst-case scenario came to pass. Yeah, it would be scary as all get out having no job and not knowing when I would have one, but at least I wouldn't be coming in every day to face the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I'd KNOW where I stood.
I'm reading a book called Inside Every Woman by Vicki Milazzo. It's supposed to help you achieve your goals of a meaningful career and life, and one of the things it talks about is determining what you're passionate about. What are the things you get so wrapped up in that you have to be torn away from them? I'm chewing on that right now. What am I passionate about? My child. The rights and well-being of children in general. Books. Writing. Food. Cooking. Music. Certainly NOT what I do now.
So I'm trying to think - what could I do that would let me work with my passions? Write? Become a chef? A caterer? A librarian? Most things would require time, capital, additional education or all of the above. Still. I've sent off to Texas Woman's University for information on their Master's of Library Science degree - you can do it online, which would work well for me assuming I could get tuition and time to study squared away. I may try my hand at writing. It can't hurt. I may see what I'd have to do to become a caterer or a chef. I can't do anything if I don't know what my options are, right?
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
50 Questions
Shamelessly pilfered from John Howard:
50 Questions:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Clearly I need to get more sleep."
2. How much cash do you have on you?
About $40. I don't have much cash most days.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Boar.
4. Favorite planet?
Jupiter - I like the big red spot.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
K
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Oingo Boingo, Dead Man's Party
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a white short-sleeve crewneck shirt under a tan jacket.
8. Do you label yourself?
I don't think so.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
Nine West
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
The person I swiped it from? I enjoy reading his blog.
12. What does your watch look like?
I don't wear one.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Goofing around online.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
It was a notice that I'd gotten e-mail.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
The closest one to me that I know of is about 20-25 miles from my house, in Oak Cliff.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Shit.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My son.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
I don't usually touch furry things (no pets).
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Only my blood pressure and allergy meds.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None at the moment, unless you count the half-used roll I have in my camera.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
38 (that would be now). I'm much more interesting now than I was at, say, 28.
22. Your worst enemy?
I don't have any enemies that I'm aware of.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
A picture of J.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"See ya later" to my colleagues when I left the lunchroom.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
I'll take the cash, thanks (although the ability to fly would make my commute a lot easier).
26. Do you like someone?
Sure, I like lots of people. If by "like" you mean LIKE like, well, you just have to read back a couple of posts in my blog to figure that out.
27. The last song you listened to?
"Make Your Mind Up" by Tab Benoit.
28. What time of day were you born?
2:45 PM.
29. What’s your favorite number?
8
30. Where did you live in 1987?
415 Alexander Hall, Baylor University
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not usually, although I do feel the occasional pang of envy.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
If they are, they haven't told me.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was on my way to work and heard about it after I got there.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
See the answer to #16.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
I have my moments.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I don't have to, so that's not even something I need to consider.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Gaelic, just because I think it sounds cool. Or Italian, since I'm 1/2 Italian.
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
I can see it happening, sure, under the right circumstances.
39. Are you touchy feely?
Sometimes.
40. What’s your life motto?
I don't have one.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
I can't think of three things I have on me at all times, unless you count things like hair and skin. Things that I have with me during the majority of my waking hours include: cell phone, lip gloss, and keys.
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
I don't have one, I don't think.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Lunch.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
So long ago that I can't remember. Oh, wait, I wrote to a college friend of mine a couple of months ago, I didn't know his e-mail address (that reminds me, I need to write him back).
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Can I? Probably, but it would take me a lot of time and involve a lot of swearing, so why bother when I can pay someone to do it for me?
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
Well, I haven't heard anything about him since high school, and that was a long time ago.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
I know back to great-grandparents on both sides of my adoptive family, and back to great-great-grandparents (I think, or is it great-great-great?) on my birth mom's side of the family.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
It hasn't been anytime in the last four years, and since I'm doing good to remember what I wore to work yesterday, surely you don't expect me to remember more than four years ago when I might have dressed up.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Only my brain, because work makes my brain hurt.
50. Have you been burned by love?
I suppose I have, but I wouldn't trade it - if I did, I wouldn't have J!
50 Questions:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Clearly I need to get more sleep."
2. How much cash do you have on you?
About $40. I don't have much cash most days.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Boar.
4. Favorite planet?
Jupiter - I like the big red spot.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
K
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Oingo Boingo, Dead Man's Party
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a white short-sleeve crewneck shirt under a tan jacket.
8. Do you label yourself?
I don't think so.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
Nine West
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
The person I swiped it from? I enjoy reading his blog.
12. What does your watch look like?
I don't wear one.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Goofing around online.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
It was a notice that I'd gotten e-mail.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
The closest one to me that I know of is about 20-25 miles from my house, in Oak Cliff.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Shit.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My son.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
I don't usually touch furry things (no pets).
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Only my blood pressure and allergy meds.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None at the moment, unless you count the half-used roll I have in my camera.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
38 (that would be now). I'm much more interesting now than I was at, say, 28.
22. Your worst enemy?
I don't have any enemies that I'm aware of.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
A picture of J.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"See ya later" to my colleagues when I left the lunchroom.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
I'll take the cash, thanks (although the ability to fly would make my commute a lot easier).
26. Do you like someone?
Sure, I like lots of people. If by "like" you mean LIKE like, well, you just have to read back a couple of posts in my blog to figure that out.
27. The last song you listened to?
"Make Your Mind Up" by Tab Benoit.
28. What time of day were you born?
2:45 PM.
29. What’s your favorite number?
8
30. Where did you live in 1987?
415 Alexander Hall, Baylor University
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not usually, although I do feel the occasional pang of envy.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
If they are, they haven't told me.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was on my way to work and heard about it after I got there.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
See the answer to #16.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
I have my moments.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I don't have to, so that's not even something I need to consider.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Gaelic, just because I think it sounds cool. Or Italian, since I'm 1/2 Italian.
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
I can see it happening, sure, under the right circumstances.
39. Are you touchy feely?
Sometimes.
40. What’s your life motto?
I don't have one.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
I can't think of three things I have on me at all times, unless you count things like hair and skin. Things that I have with me during the majority of my waking hours include: cell phone, lip gloss, and keys.
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
I don't have one, I don't think.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Lunch.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
So long ago that I can't remember. Oh, wait, I wrote to a college friend of mine a couple of months ago, I didn't know his e-mail address (that reminds me, I need to write him back).
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Can I? Probably, but it would take me a lot of time and involve a lot of swearing, so why bother when I can pay someone to do it for me?
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
Well, I haven't heard anything about him since high school, and that was a long time ago.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
I know back to great-grandparents on both sides of my adoptive family, and back to great-great-grandparents (I think, or is it great-great-great?) on my birth mom's side of the family.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
It hasn't been anytime in the last four years, and since I'm doing good to remember what I wore to work yesterday, surely you don't expect me to remember more than four years ago when I might have dressed up.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Only my brain, because work makes my brain hurt.
50. Have you been burned by love?
I suppose I have, but I wouldn't trade it - if I did, I wouldn't have J!
Saturday, November 25, 2006
And today's horoscope
Today's horoscope:
All of your efforts pay off when you realize there's a whole new way to look at this situation. You may not understand what the point of all this work is, but you'll soon see that you were meant to be on this new path.
Well, all righty then. So where's the payoff, and when?
All of your efforts pay off when you realize there's a whole new way to look at this situation. You may not understand what the point of all this work is, but you'll soon see that you were meant to be on this new path.
Well, all righty then. So where's the payoff, and when?
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
What are you thankful for?
Here's my list:
~J. He is my little sunshine, and I adore him even when he makes me want to bang my head against the nearest wall. My life would probably be quieter and better organized if I didn't have him, but it sure would be a lot less fun, and I wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone!
~K. Yeah, he's got some flaws (and don't we all), and yeah, sometimes I want to hit him with a really big stick. But he's helped me out way more than he has to, he's a good dad, he's involved, and a girl could do a lot worse for an ex-husband.
~My job. It sucks, but some job is better than no job.
~My health. I'm strong enough to keep going and do what I have to, and that counts for a lot.
~My friends. I do a crappy job of staying in touch, and yet they're always there for me.
~My family. Wish I got to see them more often.
~Having my computer back and all my pictures still there. I will never take my computer, or the need to back up data, for granted again.
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
~J. He is my little sunshine, and I adore him even when he makes me want to bang my head against the nearest wall. My life would probably be quieter and better organized if I didn't have him, but it sure would be a lot less fun, and I wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone!
~K. Yeah, he's got some flaws (and don't we all), and yeah, sometimes I want to hit him with a really big stick. But he's helped me out way more than he has to, he's a good dad, he's involved, and a girl could do a lot worse for an ex-husband.
~My job. It sucks, but some job is better than no job.
~My health. I'm strong enough to keep going and do what I have to, and that counts for a lot.
~My friends. I do a crappy job of staying in touch, and yet they're always there for me.
~My family. Wish I got to see them more often.
~Having my computer back and all my pictures still there. I will never take my computer, or the need to back up data, for granted again.
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
The perfect place to be?
Well. This is my horoscope for today:
Things are moving to a deeper level in a very shallow area of your life. This could mean that a relationship is about to move to a new level, that a burgeoning friendship will blossom, or that you will finally overcome a challenging learning curve at work. This is a sign that you're doing the right thing right now, and that where you are in life is the perfect place to be. Congratulate yourself and prepare to enjoy a richer happiness.
What exactly does one make of that? And if where I am is the perfect place to be, why does my life feel about as comfortable as a straitjacket some days?
I had to be at work by 8:00 this morning since we get off at 2:00, and J usually dawdles something terrible in the mornings, largely over the TV. So this morning I told him that if we left the TV off, he could have a treat for breakfast (he chose a Jolly Rancher sucker). I am so going to parenting hell, they are revoking my good parent card, and my mother is banging her head against a wall somewhere - candy for breakfast. But hey, it got us out the door easily and quickly, and I was actually early to work (made it here by 7:45, well before my manager - and you know how happy that makes me!).
I am so not in the mood to work today. And alas, I have things I *have* to get done. Maybe I can get most of them done by lunchtime, and then just goof off for a couple of hours.
I'll probably be offline for a couple of days with family here. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
Things are moving to a deeper level in a very shallow area of your life. This could mean that a relationship is about to move to a new level, that a burgeoning friendship will blossom, or that you will finally overcome a challenging learning curve at work. This is a sign that you're doing the right thing right now, and that where you are in life is the perfect place to be. Congratulate yourself and prepare to enjoy a richer happiness.
What exactly does one make of that? And if where I am is the perfect place to be, why does my life feel about as comfortable as a straitjacket some days?
I had to be at work by 8:00 this morning since we get off at 2:00, and J usually dawdles something terrible in the mornings, largely over the TV. So this morning I told him that if we left the TV off, he could have a treat for breakfast (he chose a Jolly Rancher sucker). I am so going to parenting hell, they are revoking my good parent card, and my mother is banging her head against a wall somewhere - candy for breakfast. But hey, it got us out the door easily and quickly, and I was actually early to work (made it here by 7:45, well before my manager - and you know how happy that makes me!).
I am so not in the mood to work today. And alas, I have things I *have* to get done. Maybe I can get most of them done by lunchtime, and then just goof off for a couple of hours.
I'll probably be offline for a couple of days with family here. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Secret lives of breadwinner wives
Secret lives of breadwinner wives - MSN Money
Secret lives of breadwinner wives
We knew the deal going in. But we can't escape the stubborn fantasy: That Mr. Right will step up and start bringing home the big bucks.
By MP Dunleavey
Editor's note: Join columnist MP Dunleavey and a group of women as they seek to strip away the myths around money, liberate themselves from debt and find financial sanity. Follow the ongoing quest of the Women in Red every other Wednesday in Dunleavey's column on MSN Money.
Every time you turn around it seems there's another rah-rah story about the rise of the "alpha earner" wife -- women who bring home most of the bacon while their husbands happily shuttle the kids to and from soccer practice.
I am just such an alpha female, apparently -- as are all of the married members of the Women in Red -- and I'm tired of the pep rally.
What gets left out of the Norman Rockwell portrait of the new nuclear family is a muddy little truth no one wants to discuss: It's not easy being the breadwinner, and many women are having a hard time in that role.
Despite knowing that the man they were choosing to marry was not likely to become the primary earner, some women secretly harbor the wish that their spouse would start bringing home the bucks and support them for a change.
That's a problem. While I can understand feeling ambivalent about being the primary earner, especially when kids enter the picture, women who nurture Cinderella dreams put themselves in a financially precarious position.
The rise of the alpha earner Take Anna. A hard-driving Washington, D.C., lobbyist who knew from the moment she met her struggling-actor husband that she always would be the breadwinner, she is still finding it hard to sort out her own expectations.
"The great thing about him is that he really doesn't care about money," says Anna, 42.
"On the flip side, the problem is that he doesn't care about money -- so I have to," she says. "That's a big burden."
It was a relief to hear Anna's unsparing take on what may no longer be a trend but a new world order.
It wasn't so long ago that my heart would race with pride and excitement when I heard upbeat statistics about women's earning prowess:
According to a 2003 survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, about a third of wives earn more than their husbands.
According to a study by the Families and Work Institute, a nonpartisan research organization in New York, women overall bring in 43% of household incomes.
I'm over that now. As the mother of a nearly two-month-old son whose husband is leaving his job to take on most of the child care and prep for graduate school, the title "breadwinner" has come to feel an awful lot like "albatross."
"We're in a significant transition," says Ellen Galinsky, director of the Families and Work Institute, acknowledging the difficulties many women face. "Women increasingly define their roles as both emotional provider and economic provider."
And yet it's hard to feel comfortable in that role when you're not sure what the rules are -- and neither is the person you're married to.
Where the girls are I was surprised by how many women are grappling with this issue of role reversal and reversed expectations on the Women in Red message board.
What seems to work within the traditional male-as-breadwinner model doesn't translate when the family relies more on the woman's income.
As one reader wrote: "If you were paying all the bills, and when you got home your husband had the house clean, dinner ready and the kids all dressed/sleeping/whatever, maybe you wouldn't feel so badly about being the breadwinner. When you have to financially support your household … but then come home and cook/clean/take care of the kids, then it becomes too much to handle."
Of course, not all women feel that way. Of the Women in Red who are married -- Anna, Beth, Stephanie and I -- all are or were the primary earners. (Read more about each of them in "Meet the Women in Red.") But each woman brings a very different attitude to her situation.
Beth: Like Anna and me, Beth, 40, was the primary earner in her relationship from the start -- and she enjoyed it. It has been hard for her to depend solely on her husband's salary during the year she has been in school studying massage therapy.
"It may sound weird, but I always felt that I needed to earn more in order to feel equal," she says.
When she gets her license early next year, Beth is looking forward to regaining her breadwinner status.
Stephanie: On the other hand, Stephanie, 28, is fighting the whole idea of being a breadwinner. She's thrilled that her career in marketing has taken off, but she hates the fact that her salary has outpaced her husband's.
When they started dating in college, it wasn't something she anticipated, but she knew when she agreed to marry him that he was working for a nonprofit organization.
Stephanie knows that she is more ambitious than he is, but she resents the fact that she bears the burden for most of their household expenses. "I wish he would earn at least $50,000 a year," she says.
Anna: Since their daughter was born two years ago, her husband has become the main caregiver. "I feel lucky that we can afford to do that," she says.
At the same time, she admits, she covers all the household expenses and cuts him a check for his needs, "and that part is uncomfortable," she says.
While Anna hopes he'll start working again once their daughter is in school, they haven't discussed that.
Right now, she's trying to cope with a more immediate issue -- one that preoccupies many women, especially when your income is larger: Who is responsible for the household chores?
Quoting the 1970s perfume commercial that featured a do-it-all working wife singing, "I can bring home the bacon/And fry it up in a pan . . . ," Anna points out: "They never told you that you end up serving the bacon and cleaning the pan, too."
MP: And then there's me. Despite the fact that my husband does the lion's share (or is it the lioness' share?) of the domestic duties -- and I count my blessings that he doesn't resent the fact that my career, right now, is more lucrative -- I am a conflicted mess of gratitude, pride and steaming resentment.
To the outside world, we probably look like the storybook version of a spunky female career gal who falls for the supersmart artsy guy -- and together (cue the harps and a nice big sunset) they make it all work!
But in reality, I guess I was kinda sorta hoping this arrangement would be temporary.
The high cost of financial-emotional turmoil And as we all know -- or at least, those of us who have been writing and reading the WIR columns faithfully know -- the only trouble with having really huge unresolved emotional issues is that sooner or later they're gonna cost you.
So while you could argue that there's nothing wrong with feeling ambivalent about being the major source of income in your household, the peril for women is when the confusion, resentment, uncertainty, hostility, anger, denial or Prince Charming fantasy causes women to fumble the financial ball.
In wishing, even for one stupid second, that my husband earned six figures, I'm dodging the fact that if anyone is going to earn big bucks, it's going to be me. And, as they said in "Cool Hand Luke," I'd better get my mind right about that, or I really will dig myself into a big ol' hole by waiting and hoping that it's not really my job.
Although Anna is the most matter-of-fact about her breadwinner status, she hates being the one to initiate all of the difficult money talks. Alas, She Who Earns usually ends up being She Who Plans. And unless Anna is OK with her husband remaining unemployed after their daughter starts school -- and what that unemployment might mean for their retirement savings -- she will have to put on her chin guard and insist on a clearer career strategy.
As much as Stephanie would like her husband to be on an equal financial footing, or close to it, she'd do better to insist that the two of them get more in sync about how they spend and save the money they earn now.
Keep these fundamentals front and center We could spend hours debating the emotional nuances of what it means -- for feminism? for the family? -- that the male-as-breadwinner species may be as endangered as the two-toed sloth. But in order to find and keep your financial sanity as a female breadwinner, you have to accept a few basic laws of nature:
Squash those fairy tale fantasies. You can't be CFO and Cinderella at the same time. If you are the main provider, it's unlikely your mate will be taking care of you financially anytime soon. After all, how many men marry women hoping they will switch roles as breadwinner at some point?
Ask for what you need. You don't have to be superwoman. Just be clear in your own mind what you want from him -- emotional support, a little more help around the house, more time with the kids -- and ask for it. You may not always get it, but you'll never get it if you don't ask.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend of mine posted this article on another board, and I thought it was interesting. OK, technically I'm no longer a breadwinner wife, but I am the sole income earner at the moment. And my earning potential will probably be greater than that of most guys I meet - not saying that I'll necessarily *make* more than whoever I meet, but that my earning potential will likely equal or exceed his (having a law degree does give me a boost in the earning potential department, although I clearly don't have enough common sense to go out and get a *real* lawyer job and earn a real lawyer salary). So, this could be me - was me with K. Me lawyer, him paralegal - I earned more, and barring some really odd career twists, I always would have. And yeah, it was hard. I'm not sure I ever really grew up with Cinderella dreams - I always expected to go to college and have a career - but I didn't grow up ever thinking I'd be the one carrying a majority of the financial burden. And it really is a lot to carry. My sister and I were talking once, and she said that it doesn't matter how strong a woman is (and she, my mom and I are all very strong women), that we just aren't cut out to carry the burden of providing for a family alone. And I think she's right.
I'm not sure there's any answer to this. I think it's like everything else in life - you just keep trying until you find something that works for you and yours, and the heck with what the rest of the world thinks about your situation. But even if I've pretty much given up on Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet and providing me undying love and lifelong financial security, I can still hope to win the lotto - right?
Secret lives of breadwinner wives
We knew the deal going in. But we can't escape the stubborn fantasy: That Mr. Right will step up and start bringing home the big bucks.
By MP Dunleavey
Editor's note: Join columnist MP Dunleavey and a group of women as they seek to strip away the myths around money, liberate themselves from debt and find financial sanity. Follow the ongoing quest of the Women in Red every other Wednesday in Dunleavey's column on MSN Money.
Every time you turn around it seems there's another rah-rah story about the rise of the "alpha earner" wife -- women who bring home most of the bacon while their husbands happily shuttle the kids to and from soccer practice.
I am just such an alpha female, apparently -- as are all of the married members of the Women in Red -- and I'm tired of the pep rally.
What gets left out of the Norman Rockwell portrait of the new nuclear family is a muddy little truth no one wants to discuss: It's not easy being the breadwinner, and many women are having a hard time in that role.
Despite knowing that the man they were choosing to marry was not likely to become the primary earner, some women secretly harbor the wish that their spouse would start bringing home the bucks and support them for a change.
That's a problem. While I can understand feeling ambivalent about being the primary earner, especially when kids enter the picture, women who nurture Cinderella dreams put themselves in a financially precarious position.
The rise of the alpha earner Take Anna. A hard-driving Washington, D.C., lobbyist who knew from the moment she met her struggling-actor husband that she always would be the breadwinner, she is still finding it hard to sort out her own expectations.
"The great thing about him is that he really doesn't care about money," says Anna, 42.
"On the flip side, the problem is that he doesn't care about money -- so I have to," she says. "That's a big burden."
It was a relief to hear Anna's unsparing take on what may no longer be a trend but a new world order.
It wasn't so long ago that my heart would race with pride and excitement when I heard upbeat statistics about women's earning prowess:
According to a 2003 survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, about a third of wives earn more than their husbands.
According to a study by the Families and Work Institute, a nonpartisan research organization in New York, women overall bring in 43% of household incomes.
I'm over that now. As the mother of a nearly two-month-old son whose husband is leaving his job to take on most of the child care and prep for graduate school, the title "breadwinner" has come to feel an awful lot like "albatross."
"We're in a significant transition," says Ellen Galinsky, director of the Families and Work Institute, acknowledging the difficulties many women face. "Women increasingly define their roles as both emotional provider and economic provider."
And yet it's hard to feel comfortable in that role when you're not sure what the rules are -- and neither is the person you're married to.
Where the girls are I was surprised by how many women are grappling with this issue of role reversal and reversed expectations on the Women in Red message board.
What seems to work within the traditional male-as-breadwinner model doesn't translate when the family relies more on the woman's income.
As one reader wrote: "If you were paying all the bills, and when you got home your husband had the house clean, dinner ready and the kids all dressed/sleeping/whatever, maybe you wouldn't feel so badly about being the breadwinner. When you have to financially support your household … but then come home and cook/clean/take care of the kids, then it becomes too much to handle."
Of course, not all women feel that way. Of the Women in Red who are married -- Anna, Beth, Stephanie and I -- all are or were the primary earners. (Read more about each of them in "Meet the Women in Red.") But each woman brings a very different attitude to her situation.
Beth: Like Anna and me, Beth, 40, was the primary earner in her relationship from the start -- and she enjoyed it. It has been hard for her to depend solely on her husband's salary during the year she has been in school studying massage therapy.
"It may sound weird, but I always felt that I needed to earn more in order to feel equal," she says.
When she gets her license early next year, Beth is looking forward to regaining her breadwinner status.
Stephanie: On the other hand, Stephanie, 28, is fighting the whole idea of being a breadwinner. She's thrilled that her career in marketing has taken off, but she hates the fact that her salary has outpaced her husband's.
When they started dating in college, it wasn't something she anticipated, but she knew when she agreed to marry him that he was working for a nonprofit organization.
Stephanie knows that she is more ambitious than he is, but she resents the fact that she bears the burden for most of their household expenses. "I wish he would earn at least $50,000 a year," she says.
Anna: Since their daughter was born two years ago, her husband has become the main caregiver. "I feel lucky that we can afford to do that," she says.
At the same time, she admits, she covers all the household expenses and cuts him a check for his needs, "and that part is uncomfortable," she says.
While Anna hopes he'll start working again once their daughter is in school, they haven't discussed that.
Right now, she's trying to cope with a more immediate issue -- one that preoccupies many women, especially when your income is larger: Who is responsible for the household chores?
Quoting the 1970s perfume commercial that featured a do-it-all working wife singing, "I can bring home the bacon/And fry it up in a pan . . . ," Anna points out: "They never told you that you end up serving the bacon and cleaning the pan, too."
MP: And then there's me. Despite the fact that my husband does the lion's share (or is it the lioness' share?) of the domestic duties -- and I count my blessings that he doesn't resent the fact that my career, right now, is more lucrative -- I am a conflicted mess of gratitude, pride and steaming resentment.
To the outside world, we probably look like the storybook version of a spunky female career gal who falls for the supersmart artsy guy -- and together (cue the harps and a nice big sunset) they make it all work!
But in reality, I guess I was kinda sorta hoping this arrangement would be temporary.
The high cost of financial-emotional turmoil And as we all know -- or at least, those of us who have been writing and reading the WIR columns faithfully know -- the only trouble with having really huge unresolved emotional issues is that sooner or later they're gonna cost you.
So while you could argue that there's nothing wrong with feeling ambivalent about being the major source of income in your household, the peril for women is when the confusion, resentment, uncertainty, hostility, anger, denial or Prince Charming fantasy causes women to fumble the financial ball.
In wishing, even for one stupid second, that my husband earned six figures, I'm dodging the fact that if anyone is going to earn big bucks, it's going to be me. And, as they said in "Cool Hand Luke," I'd better get my mind right about that, or I really will dig myself into a big ol' hole by waiting and hoping that it's not really my job.
Although Anna is the most matter-of-fact about her breadwinner status, she hates being the one to initiate all of the difficult money talks. Alas, She Who Earns usually ends up being She Who Plans. And unless Anna is OK with her husband remaining unemployed after their daughter starts school -- and what that unemployment might mean for their retirement savings -- she will have to put on her chin guard and insist on a clearer career strategy.
As much as Stephanie would like her husband to be on an equal financial footing, or close to it, she'd do better to insist that the two of them get more in sync about how they spend and save the money they earn now.
Keep these fundamentals front and center We could spend hours debating the emotional nuances of what it means -- for feminism? for the family? -- that the male-as-breadwinner species may be as endangered as the two-toed sloth. But in order to find and keep your financial sanity as a female breadwinner, you have to accept a few basic laws of nature:
You're in charge. This doesn't meant you and your partner can't share equally in financial decisions, but you need to accept the fact that you will probably be the one to initiate most discussions, monitor how your money is organized and orchestrate your financial future.
Clarify roles and expectations. Given that female breadwinners lack for role models, you have to start with what you've got -- and improvise. That means sitting down with your spouse and expressing what your ideas and expectations are for everything from spending to laundry -- and likewise listening to his.Squash those fairy tale fantasies. You can't be CFO and Cinderella at the same time. If you are the main provider, it's unlikely your mate will be taking care of you financially anytime soon. After all, how many men marry women hoping they will switch roles as breadwinner at some point?
Ask for what you need. You don't have to be superwoman. Just be clear in your own mind what you want from him -- emotional support, a little more help around the house, more time with the kids -- and ask for it. You may not always get it, but you'll never get it if you don't ask.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend of mine posted this article on another board, and I thought it was interesting. OK, technically I'm no longer a breadwinner wife, but I am the sole income earner at the moment. And my earning potential will probably be greater than that of most guys I meet - not saying that I'll necessarily *make* more than whoever I meet, but that my earning potential will likely equal or exceed his (having a law degree does give me a boost in the earning potential department, although I clearly don't have enough common sense to go out and get a *real* lawyer job and earn a real lawyer salary). So, this could be me - was me with K. Me lawyer, him paralegal - I earned more, and barring some really odd career twists, I always would have. And yeah, it was hard. I'm not sure I ever really grew up with Cinderella dreams - I always expected to go to college and have a career - but I didn't grow up ever thinking I'd be the one carrying a majority of the financial burden. And it really is a lot to carry. My sister and I were talking once, and she said that it doesn't matter how strong a woman is (and she, my mom and I are all very strong women), that we just aren't cut out to carry the burden of providing for a family alone. And I think she's right.
I'm not sure there's any answer to this. I think it's like everything else in life - you just keep trying until you find something that works for you and yours, and the heck with what the rest of the world thinks about your situation. But even if I've pretty much given up on Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet and providing me undying love and lifelong financial security, I can still hope to win the lotto - right?
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