Lookit!!!! I'm on the list!!!!
http://thelittleblackboxes.com/etailers.html
The listing for Bright Blessings is a good way down the page, but it's there! I hope people who get boxes with my stuff in there like what I sent. Eeek!!!!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
We have liftoff!
My website is up and running. Bright Blessings Candles is officially open for business!
So far I've gotten really good reviews on everything. It's exciting, and a little scary, too. Yikes. I'm still sort of in shock that I can make things that people actually LIKE. The possibilities are mind-boggling. OK, I don't expect to rival Yankee Candles or Bath & Body Works anytime soon. But maybe I can get to the point where I make enough extra money to really help out the family finances. I'm hopeful, anyway!
So far I've gotten really good reviews on everything. It's exciting, and a little scary, too. Yikes. I'm still sort of in shock that I can make things that people actually LIKE. The possibilities are mind-boggling. OK, I don't expect to rival Yankee Candles or Bath & Body Works anytime soon. But maybe I can get to the point where I make enough extra money to really help out the family finances. I'm hopeful, anyway!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Ever had a day like this?
That just made me laugh.
Today, J started kindergarten. Big school. No more daycare. I was fine for drop-off, and he was so excited, I don't think he even knew when I left. LOL I went to the Boo-Hoo Breakfast that the Parent-Teacher Volunteers (PTV) had for parents of kindergarteners, and I was fine. And then I got to the car and just sobbed. I cried because my baby is getting so big, he's not a baby anymore and will just keep on growing. I cried because it was hard seeing all the moms *and* dads there bringing their kids to school, sharing the moment, and here I was all by my lonesome, and that's not how it was supposed to turn out.
Feh.
And now I'm home. I'm getting a few things done, making more tarts (I've had six orders now! Woo!), getting packages sent out. I'll go pick J up a little earlier than I usually would, but not so early that he'll get the mistaken impression that I'll be there by 3:30 every afternoon. I hope he likes the after-school program. I hope he likes his classmates. I haven't gotten any calls from the school, so I guess that's a good thing.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
A little shameless self-promotion
I'm trying to start up my own little business, making wax tarts - you know, the things you melt over a tealight or in an electric burner to scent your house and make it smell yummy good. I've had a surprising amount of interest thus far, and if it continues, I'll get my website back up ASAP. I've had the domain name for over a year now, I just hadn't done anything with it. My little proprietorship is Bright Blessings Candles, and here are some pics of my tarts:
They're 2 ounces each, and right now I've got Red Velvet Cake and Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie in stock. I'm working on a full scent list, and I'm glad to take custom orders if anyone is interested. I'm about to order more wax, but fortunately my supplier is here close by, so it doesn't take but a couple of days to get here.
I'm so excited about the possibilities!!! I don't expect tarts in and of themselves will ever bring in enough money to let me quit my day job, but I'm hoping I can eventually make enough to replace the income I lost when my transcription gig went away.
Much to write about, I'll update more (with pics!) later.
They're 2 ounces each, and right now I've got Red Velvet Cake and Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie in stock. I'm working on a full scent list, and I'm glad to take custom orders if anyone is interested. I'm about to order more wax, but fortunately my supplier is here close by, so it doesn't take but a couple of days to get here.
I'm so excited about the possibilities!!! I don't expect tarts in and of themselves will ever bring in enough money to let me quit my day job, but I'm hoping I can eventually make enough to replace the income I lost when my transcription gig went away.
Much to write about, I'll update more (with pics!) later.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Book Quiz
I'm not sure I agree with it, but I did like the book.
You're The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!
by Douglas Adams
Considered by many to be one of the funniest people around, you are
quite an entertainer. You've also traveled to the far reaches of what you deem possible,
often confused and unsure of yourself. Life continues to jostle you around like a marble,
but it's shown you so much of the world that you don't care. Wacky adventures continue to
lie ahead. Your favorite number is 42.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Friday, July 13, 2007
My one and only
People keep asking me when I'm going to have another baby. I smile politely and tell them I don't plan on having any more at this time, and they look at me like I've sprouted a horn. Why is everyone so interested in my reproductive plans, or the lack thereof? I'm already a single mother, does anyone seriously think that this would be a good time for me to even contemplate having a child? (And yes, most of the people doing the asking are well aware that I'm divorced.) And why do so many people think being an only child is somehow an impediment? I grew up an only child (I say "grew up" because I was adopted, and it turns out I have half-siblings, but to my parents, I was an only child). I turned out OK, I think. I've actually had people say to me, "Gee, you don't act like an only child, I never would have guessed." ??? What exactly are only children supposed to act like, and why do so many people seem to think I'm dooming J to some substandard life by not having a sibling for him to torment...I mean, play with?
I know Brian would like to have a child, and should we be married, I'm willing to try (although I'm not getting any younger!). Not sure what lengths I'd be willing to go to if it didn't happen naturally, and I've told him it might not, because we had to have help to get J here. But if I never have another child, I won't be crushed. I won't feel like my life is any less full because I'm the mother of one rather than the mother of more. I never envisioned myself as having a whole passel of kids, anyway. There were days I didn't think I'd even ever get married, much less have kids, and there are days now where I'm so close to the end of my rope that I wonder if God *really* knew what He was doing when He blessed me with J. (And yes, he is a blessing, even if there are days he makes me want to bang my head into a wall!) So I'm perfectly happy with one. How is anyone else qualified to question that decision? Most days I'm OK with it, but today it bugs me. I'm in a mood, and being asked that gets a bit old.
We had a baby shower for a co-worker this afternoon. She's having a little girl, so she got tons of cute pastel pink and ruffly stuff, and a tiny part of me thought, wow, if I had a little girl, I could get all that pink ruffly stuff. And the bigger part of me though, what are you, nuts? J can walk and talk and carry on a conversation and tell you what's going on and sleeps all night most nights (even if bedtime isn't necessarily early or easy) and he's potty trained and you're done with bottles and diapers and up every three hours - would you really go back to that?
Only if God has a sense of humor and life works out just right.
Thursday Thirteen #10
So I'm a day late. It happens.
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1. Eat my dinner while it's still hot. 2. Get all the laundry folded and put away as soon as it comes out of the dryer. 3. Clear a path through the toys on the living room floor. 4. Read my own books before bedtime. 5. Watch something on TV that isn't animated and that doesn't involve space aliens or shoot guns. 6. Get to work on time, without a little boy whining that he doesn't *want* to go to school. 7. Take a shower without interruption. 8. Take a bubble bath without clearing a vat of toys out of the tub first. (K bought a 74-piece of foam letters and numbers and cars and whatnot that are made for playing in the bath. Next time he does that, I'm going to hit him with a wet noodle, once for every piece in the set. Better yet, next time he does that, the 74-piece monstrosity can stay at *his* house.) 9. Get a night's sleep uninterrupted by a little boy coming and crawling into bed with me (and stepping on my stomach in the process). 10. Sleep in past daybreak on Saturday. 11. Clean out my car and keep it clean for a few days. 12. Do anything on the computer *other than* Jump Start or Ben 10. 13. Enjoy the silence - and then realize how very quiet my house is without my son, and miss him and wish for the week to be over already. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Promised
My birthday present from Brian:
It's a ring, although not one involving diamonds. It's a promise ring. When we're in the same place (because we will be, oh yes, we will), it will be replaced by a different one. :-)
I had a really nice birthday. I never did write about it, so here goes.
But we went to the Queen of Sheba, an Ethiopian restaurant in Dallas, for dinner. It was good. We had the Queen's Dinner, where they just bring you a little of everything. First they had the handwashing ceremony - they brought out a big bowl with lemon slices in it, and we used the lemon slices like soap. Then they poured warm water over our hands to rinse off the lemony bits and dried them. It was nice, and I'd never thought to do that with lemon slices. I don't know if I can remember everything we ate, but I'll try. Our appetizer was a cold salad, lentils with tomato and jalapeno. It was SPICY, but very good. Then they brought out a big platter with little bits of all kinds of stuff - spicy lentils, spicy lamb, mild lamb, cabbage and potatoes, sauteed mushrooms, different kinds of chicken (so tender it just fell off the bone), beef and greens, and their version of steak tartare with fresh-made cheese. I did try the steak tartare - it didn't taste like raw meat, and it wasn't bad, but it wasn't my thing. The cheese was good - almost tart, and like feta in texture. Some things were cooked with a tomato-type sauce, some with a mustard sauce, and I can't even begin to identify all the spices they used.
The interesting thing was, you ate everything with your fingers! They brought out a plate with rolls of a thin, spongy bread called injera - you unrolled the bread, broke a piece off, and used it to pick up your food. After a while, it got tedious, and Brian and I were both wishing for silverware. LOL I had a glass of honey mead with my meal, and that was one gooooooood wine. I told Brian it wasn't something to drink on an empty stomach, because it was sweet and smooth, and something I could easily drink too much of without even realizing it. We had dessert - baklava and a fruit compote with the honey wine poured over it - and we ate until we were just about stupid. I had a tiny cup of Ethiopian coffee with it - black as night, and STRONG. It had an interesting flavor of spice to it - cinnamon, maybe, or cardamom? It was good, although not something I'd want to drink every day (I sure could have used it when J was at the height of his not-sleeping phase, though).
And THEN they brought out birthday cake and sang Happy Birthday! It was a very low-key rendition - no clapping and cheering and standing on chairs. I really enjoyed it. We were stuffed like Christmas geese afterward, and we STILL had birthday cake at the house!
So, happy birthday to me! I do believe my ring was the best present ever, although I must admit to hoping another one can take its place before too much longer.
It's a ring, although not one involving diamonds. It's a promise ring. When we're in the same place (because we will be, oh yes, we will), it will be replaced by a different one. :-)
I had a really nice birthday. I never did write about it, so here goes.
But we went to the Queen of Sheba, an Ethiopian restaurant in Dallas, for dinner. It was good. We had the Queen's Dinner, where they just bring you a little of everything. First they had the handwashing ceremony - they brought out a big bowl with lemon slices in it, and we used the lemon slices like soap. Then they poured warm water over our hands to rinse off the lemony bits and dried them. It was nice, and I'd never thought to do that with lemon slices. I don't know if I can remember everything we ate, but I'll try. Our appetizer was a cold salad, lentils with tomato and jalapeno. It was SPICY, but very good. Then they brought out a big platter with little bits of all kinds of stuff - spicy lentils, spicy lamb, mild lamb, cabbage and potatoes, sauteed mushrooms, different kinds of chicken (so tender it just fell off the bone), beef and greens, and their version of steak tartare with fresh-made cheese. I did try the steak tartare - it didn't taste like raw meat, and it wasn't bad, but it wasn't my thing. The cheese was good - almost tart, and like feta in texture. Some things were cooked with a tomato-type sauce, some with a mustard sauce, and I can't even begin to identify all the spices they used.
The interesting thing was, you ate everything with your fingers! They brought out a plate with rolls of a thin, spongy bread called injera - you unrolled the bread, broke a piece off, and used it to pick up your food. After a while, it got tedious, and Brian and I were both wishing for silverware. LOL I had a glass of honey mead with my meal, and that was one gooooooood wine. I told Brian it wasn't something to drink on an empty stomach, because it was sweet and smooth, and something I could easily drink too much of without even realizing it. We had dessert - baklava and a fruit compote with the honey wine poured over it - and we ate until we were just about stupid. I had a tiny cup of Ethiopian coffee with it - black as night, and STRONG. It had an interesting flavor of spice to it - cinnamon, maybe, or cardamom? It was good, although not something I'd want to drink every day (I sure could have used it when J was at the height of his not-sleeping phase, though).
And THEN they brought out birthday cake and sang Happy Birthday! It was a very low-key rendition - no clapping and cheering and standing on chairs. I really enjoyed it. We were stuffed like Christmas geese afterward, and we STILL had birthday cake at the house!
So, happy birthday to me! I do believe my ring was the best present ever, although I must admit to hoping another one can take its place before too much longer.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Update
And as I look at it, it's a bit of a downer of an update. (I'll post in a bit about my birthday!)
Back in May, I did really well on the transcription test. I finally decided to check out financial aid, see if I qualified. I had to buy a new car, I was OK with that, I figured I could qualify for a few thousand dollars for medical transcription. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I didn't. I was told I didn't qualify on my own, that I could reapply with a credit-worthy cosigner. The catch? Everyone I know that I'd feel comfortable asking isn't a whole lot more credit-worthy than me. (No, I won't ask family - for one, I'd get the lecture on why don't I have the money saved to pay for this, and for two, that would be closely followed by the lecture on what am I thinking, throwing away my legal education like this. Never mind that my legal education is doing nothing but cost me money right now in terms of dues and taxes and continuing legal education, and my search of over two years for a job in the legal profession has gotten me exactly nowhere. I'd be throwing it away, and I'd hear about it in no uncertain terms.) K has agreed to co-sign for me, but I'm not sure it will go through. But, I appreciate the effort (and let me just say, the process of figuring out how to get that done has been a kerfuffle and a pain - if it's this difficult, maybe I'm not meant to do it?).
And so here I am, feeling like I'm flailing around, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I wish Pampered Chef was my answer (I'm already a consultant, just inactive because I don't get out there and drum up tons of business), or candlemaking/soap making. But I don't have the time to devote to building up a PC business, at least not now while J is young enough to still really need/want mama's undivided attention and I don't have anyone to help with him. And I'm not a high-pressure salesperson anyway - I know myself well enough to know that I'm not going to be out there calling everyone I'm the least bit acquainted with and pushing them to have a party. I'm just not wired that way, and frankly, sometimes I wonder if the market is saturated with PC consultants to the point that people hear more than enough of it. Candlemaking/soap making, again with the time to invest in it, and it's something that will take a long time to get up and running before I'd see a profit that would make it more than a very expensive hobby, and that would be with more time to put in than I really have. It also doesn't help with this that J is with me so much - he's not old enough to safely help, and he still wants/needs enough of my attention that he's not ready to be told, "this is mama's work time, you've got to leave me alone for a bit". If I had a spouse to engage him during that time, that would be easier. But he's not going to handle being told, go play by yourself for a couple of hours while mama makes a batch of soap, and I'm not about to let him near lye (I'm considering cold process soap because I think it makes a nicer finished product as a rule, better for your skin, etc.).
I thought transcription might be it, but now I can't even get approved for the loan to take the certification program. The school offers a payment plan, but it's just a few lump sum payments, not nearly as spread out as a student loan would be, and I don't have the money to make those. So maybe transcription isn't the answer, either.
So what IS? The traditional job search hasn't given me much to work with. Because of my career path thus far, I'm likely out of the running for traditional law firm jobs (since I haven't worked for a firm in the years I've been out of law school), and I'm not sure I'd want to sacrifice that much of my life to the almighty billable hour anyway. (Yes, there are firms out there that don't require the crazy hours, but even the ones that don't require 18-hour days six days a week aren't likely to be real flexible and family-friendly, and I'd have to *really* look hard to find them.) Hell, my career path thus far may have stranded me here, at least going by how much luck I've had looking so far for anything else in the legal field.
And I ask myself again, what IS the answer? Everything I think of seems not to pan out. I know there are people who think I'm grasping at straws, looking at impractical things, and I probably am. But when the practical isn't working, what other option is there to consider? At least I'm not being stupid about it and jumping right into something crazy with both feet - not like I've quit my day job to rely on my income from making candles. I'm just talking, thinking, wondering, trying to figure *something* out. Something that will let me enjoy what I do a little more, give me a little more flexibility and time with J, get me and Brian in the same place. There's got to be something out there.
In terms of getting me and Brian in the same place, me looking there may not do much good. If I found something (big if, given the size of the job market), I'd have to be good and sure it was something I could do for the long term, because finding another job should one not pan out would be a huge task. And also, he's just about burned out where he is, and there's not a whole lot for him there. He feels like it would work out better for him to look this way, so he is. He's got an application in now at one of the museums in Fort Worth, so maybe that's what's going to give.
I just feel very frustrated today. I want to change things, I just don't know how.
Back in May, I did really well on the transcription test. I finally decided to check out financial aid, see if I qualified. I had to buy a new car, I was OK with that, I figured I could qualify for a few thousand dollars for medical transcription. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I didn't. I was told I didn't qualify on my own, that I could reapply with a credit-worthy cosigner. The catch? Everyone I know that I'd feel comfortable asking isn't a whole lot more credit-worthy than me. (No, I won't ask family - for one, I'd get the lecture on why don't I have the money saved to pay for this, and for two, that would be closely followed by the lecture on what am I thinking, throwing away my legal education like this. Never mind that my legal education is doing nothing but cost me money right now in terms of dues and taxes and continuing legal education, and my search of over two years for a job in the legal profession has gotten me exactly nowhere. I'd be throwing it away, and I'd hear about it in no uncertain terms.) K has agreed to co-sign for me, but I'm not sure it will go through. But, I appreciate the effort (and let me just say, the process of figuring out how to get that done has been a kerfuffle and a pain - if it's this difficult, maybe I'm not meant to do it?).
And so here I am, feeling like I'm flailing around, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I wish Pampered Chef was my answer (I'm already a consultant, just inactive because I don't get out there and drum up tons of business), or candlemaking/soap making. But I don't have the time to devote to building up a PC business, at least not now while J is young enough to still really need/want mama's undivided attention and I don't have anyone to help with him. And I'm not a high-pressure salesperson anyway - I know myself well enough to know that I'm not going to be out there calling everyone I'm the least bit acquainted with and pushing them to have a party. I'm just not wired that way, and frankly, sometimes I wonder if the market is saturated with PC consultants to the point that people hear more than enough of it. Candlemaking/soap making, again with the time to invest in it, and it's something that will take a long time to get up and running before I'd see a profit that would make it more than a very expensive hobby, and that would be with more time to put in than I really have. It also doesn't help with this that J is with me so much - he's not old enough to safely help, and he still wants/needs enough of my attention that he's not ready to be told, "this is mama's work time, you've got to leave me alone for a bit". If I had a spouse to engage him during that time, that would be easier. But he's not going to handle being told, go play by yourself for a couple of hours while mama makes a batch of soap, and I'm not about to let him near lye (I'm considering cold process soap because I think it makes a nicer finished product as a rule, better for your skin, etc.).
I thought transcription might be it, but now I can't even get approved for the loan to take the certification program. The school offers a payment plan, but it's just a few lump sum payments, not nearly as spread out as a student loan would be, and I don't have the money to make those. So maybe transcription isn't the answer, either.
So what IS? The traditional job search hasn't given me much to work with. Because of my career path thus far, I'm likely out of the running for traditional law firm jobs (since I haven't worked for a firm in the years I've been out of law school), and I'm not sure I'd want to sacrifice that much of my life to the almighty billable hour anyway. (Yes, there are firms out there that don't require the crazy hours, but even the ones that don't require 18-hour days six days a week aren't likely to be real flexible and family-friendly, and I'd have to *really* look hard to find them.) Hell, my career path thus far may have stranded me here, at least going by how much luck I've had looking so far for anything else in the legal field.
And I ask myself again, what IS the answer? Everything I think of seems not to pan out. I know there are people who think I'm grasping at straws, looking at impractical things, and I probably am. But when the practical isn't working, what other option is there to consider? At least I'm not being stupid about it and jumping right into something crazy with both feet - not like I've quit my day job to rely on my income from making candles. I'm just talking, thinking, wondering, trying to figure *something* out. Something that will let me enjoy what I do a little more, give me a little more flexibility and time with J, get me and Brian in the same place. There's got to be something out there.
In terms of getting me and Brian in the same place, me looking there may not do much good. If I found something (big if, given the size of the job market), I'd have to be good and sure it was something I could do for the long term, because finding another job should one not pan out would be a huge task. And also, he's just about burned out where he is, and there's not a whole lot for him there. He feels like it would work out better for him to look this way, so he is. He's got an application in now at one of the museums in Fort Worth, so maybe that's what's going to give.
I just feel very frustrated today. I want to change things, I just don't know how.
Thursday Thirteen #9
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1. Rain makes for a sucky commute to and from work. 2. Can't take the boy outside to play when it's raining and/or the yard is just soaked from all the rain. 3. When the boy can't go outside to play, he gets just a little stir crazy. 4. Rain makes the grass grow - and the weeds, which means the yard guy has to come more often. 5. Rain gives mosquitoes lots and lots of breeding ground. You just can't get rid of *all* the puddles. 6. My garage door remote doesn't work, and I'm getting really tired of getting soaked making a mad dash from car to house or vice versa. 7. Too many cloudy/rainy days in a row bum me out. 8. Rain during the work day makes me not want to go across the street to get a coffee from Starbucks. (Hey, wait, maybe that's a good thing. At least then I'm saving money.) 9. Getting in and out of the car with an umbrella is a pain. 10. Sharing the umbrella with a 4-year-old who's a foot shorter than me and who insists on holding the umbrella himself (about two inches above the top of his head) is a bigger pain - I might as well go without one. 11. Thunder and lightning keeps the boy awake at night. 12. When it rains, you can't help but track mud into places mud ought not to go. And 13 - well, it's really a good thing, not a bad one, so maybe the rain isn't so bad after all.... 13. With all this rain, it's not nearly as hot as your usual Texas summer. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Nancy 2. Chris 3. mamalee 4. qtpies7 |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Wednesday, May 30, 2007
So who do you look like?
Here are my results (with this picture, anyway - with a different pic, I get different results):
Thursday Thirteen #8
It's back! A random collection of thirteen websites I like and/or frequent often.
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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1. Awesome Babies - a small parenting board - if you're a parent or trying to become one, stop by and say hi! 2. Charssi - fudge you eat with a spoon, need I say more? If you want to order, best hurry, they're going on vacation soon for most of the summer. 3. Isle of Eden - yummy bath goodies! 4. Cremoso - reopening June 1, also the home of many yummy bath goodies. 5. Patrician Treasures - MORE bath goodies. I sense a theme here. 6. paperbackswap.com - like Freecycle for books. 7. Bored.com - everyone can use a little mindless entertainment. 8. MyHeritage - upload a pic of yourself, see what celebrities you resemble. (I apparently look like Moby, Topher Grace and James Spader - am I sure I'm a girl?! LOL) 9. Recipezaar - my favorite place to find recipes. 10. Craigslist - great to check out for darned near anything. 11. Alibris - if you can't find a book here, it probably can't be found. 12. Jacquie Lawson - for really unique e-cards. 13. Dallas Stars - I just wish we could get past the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. *sigh* Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Just move it already, huh?
I was running late this morning - J fell this morning and skinned his other knee (he fell and skinned one yesterday morning, and was having a pure fit because it was bleeding and it hurt - this morning was round two). So we had another round of boo-boos and hugs and J asking me to stay home, that he needed to go see Dr. Jean. Poor baby, he was so not happy that I was leaving this morning. He kept asking me to stay with him and saying he wanted to stay with me. I'm not sure what's up. For the longest he's been real good about going on in at school without a fuss, but lately he's clingy and whiny and doesn't want me to leave. It hurts my heart, and I'm not sure of the cause. I wonder if it's because he really doesn't want to go with K tomorrow.
And K needs to move that hamster cage if he cares what's good for J. Last night J asked me again about where he'd be on Friday. When I told him he'd be going to daddy and A's, he was just inconsolable. He's cried every time I've said that he's going to daddy and A's house this Friday. Honestly, does K want his son to sob at the thought of spending time with him?! If so, keep right on. If not, he and A had best have this discussion and they'd best move the hamster. I was going to tell him this today, but he called before I left the house - he and A woke up to a flooded kitchen, there's a leak or a break somewhere, and he was looking for a mop in Wal-Mart when he called. I figured that wasn't perhaps the best time for a serious discussion.
I just don't get why it's such a big deal. I understand that with five kids in the house, you don't want to give one preferential treatment. But helping one get to sleep doesn't seem like preferential treatment - that's not like taking them all to Toys R Us and saying, OK, you get a toy, the rest of you, too bad. It's helping a need get met. It's not like sleep is optional. I don't get it. And if an adult were bothered by a noise while trying to get to sleep, he'd deal with the source of the noise if it were possible to do so - he wouldn't tell himself to just deal with it and let it go on. I really wish K and A would put the hamster in their room for a night or two, just to know what it sounds like. Maybe then they'd see why it's such a distraction for J and why it bothers him so.
I'm looking for a counselor. The ones in our area that take my insurance are all men, and I think I'd prefer a woman. I'll keep looking, though. I really think it would benefit J, and a counselor might be able to get to the root of the problem if there's anything else bothering J, where I'm not having any luck getting more than that Chuck bothers him. I don't know, if there are any other issues, if J just doesn't have the vocabulary or self-awareness to really verbalize what's bothering him, and I don't want to ask "is it such and such" and run the risk of either using terms and concepts he doesn't really understand or of putting words in his mouth and having him agree just because I asked.
My sweet boy. My heart just hurts that he's sad, and that I'm not really sure how to make it all better.
In other news: The rotten thing about taking a new position at your place of work is that you're still here to deal with crap from your old position. *sigh*
Is it Friday yet?
And K needs to move that hamster cage if he cares what's good for J. Last night J asked me again about where he'd be on Friday. When I told him he'd be going to daddy and A's, he was just inconsolable. He's cried every time I've said that he's going to daddy and A's house this Friday. Honestly, does K want his son to sob at the thought of spending time with him?! If so, keep right on. If not, he and A had best have this discussion and they'd best move the hamster. I was going to tell him this today, but he called before I left the house - he and A woke up to a flooded kitchen, there's a leak or a break somewhere, and he was looking for a mop in Wal-Mart when he called. I figured that wasn't perhaps the best time for a serious discussion.
I just don't get why it's such a big deal. I understand that with five kids in the house, you don't want to give one preferential treatment. But helping one get to sleep doesn't seem like preferential treatment - that's not like taking them all to Toys R Us and saying, OK, you get a toy, the rest of you, too bad. It's helping a need get met. It's not like sleep is optional. I don't get it. And if an adult were bothered by a noise while trying to get to sleep, he'd deal with the source of the noise if it were possible to do so - he wouldn't tell himself to just deal with it and let it go on. I really wish K and A would put the hamster in their room for a night or two, just to know what it sounds like. Maybe then they'd see why it's such a distraction for J and why it bothers him so.
I'm looking for a counselor. The ones in our area that take my insurance are all men, and I think I'd prefer a woman. I'll keep looking, though. I really think it would benefit J, and a counselor might be able to get to the root of the problem if there's anything else bothering J, where I'm not having any luck getting more than that Chuck bothers him. I don't know, if there are any other issues, if J just doesn't have the vocabulary or self-awareness to really verbalize what's bothering him, and I don't want to ask "is it such and such" and run the risk of either using terms and concepts he doesn't really understand or of putting words in his mouth and having him agree just because I asked.
My sweet boy. My heart just hurts that he's sad, and that I'm not really sure how to make it all better.
In other news: The rotten thing about taking a new position at your place of work is that you're still here to deal with crap from your old position. *sigh*
Is it Friday yet?
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
So what direction am I going, anyway?
I took the pre-enrollment test for medical transcription certification. The results:
From our review of your skills test and the brief narrative you submitted, we are pleased to report that we believe you have the qualifications needed to enter into the M-TEC training program.
The results of your test were:
Grammar: Excellent!
Punctuation: Excellent!
Proofreading (Spelling): Excellent! (I'm detecting a theme here!)
Required Narrative (Vocabulary and self-expression): Able to express thoughts well. Our job placement rate for our Premier program graduates is 98%, with the majority working in at-home positions (see below). Your test results are superb! You are certainly a wonderful candidate for the program, and the experience you have had with transcribing has you ready to hit the ground running since you have already trained your mind and body to work together in that unique way. Good luck to you on your new journey!
So now I need to decide. Do I enter the program and possibly change my entire life direction? Lord knows the direction it's been headed hasn't been a whole lot of fun. And I know I could do well in the program. As fast as I read and type, I don't think I'd need nearly 18 months to finish it. It's just a fairly big step, since, if I invest the money in it, I want to use it and not have it be just something else I've dabbled in. If I do this, it would be a pretty portable career, and I wouldn't feel so limited to staying where I am(i.e., if Brian is offered a faculty position at Baylor, I could pack up my transcription machine and head south and have a way to contribute to the family income :-D). I know I'd love having the flexibility to do for J without worrying that me taking time for my family was going to hurt me at work. I'd save on gas if/when I got a job working from home. I'd love to be free of corporate America - it makes my head hurt. The biggest questions I can think of are 1) can I make enough money, and 2) can I find a job with benefits? I can save for my own retirement, but I've gotten a bit spoiled to having health and dental insurance, and I don't really relish the thought of paying for that out of pocket.
I guess first I'd have to see if I qualify for financial aid. If I do, then it's decision time. I realize that, at least until I get J on a good sleep schedule (and I will, oh yes, I will), study time would cut into my sleep time a good bit. Perhaps I could hit the books three nights a week and allow for a really good night's sleep two nights a week, and play it by ear on weekends (and try for good sleep on those nights as well).
I suppose this is why they call it a leap of faith. You don't know where something will end up, but you've got to have faith it will work out.
AACK.
From our review of your skills test and the brief narrative you submitted, we are pleased to report that we believe you have the qualifications needed to enter into the M-TEC training program.
The results of your test were:
Grammar: Excellent!
Punctuation: Excellent!
Proofreading (Spelling): Excellent! (I'm detecting a theme here!)
Required Narrative (Vocabulary and self-expression): Able to express thoughts well. Our job placement rate for our Premier program graduates is 98%, with the majority working in at-home positions (see below). Your test results are superb! You are certainly a wonderful candidate for the program, and the experience you have had with transcribing has you ready to hit the ground running since you have already trained your mind and body to work together in that unique way. Good luck to you on your new journey!
So now I need to decide. Do I enter the program and possibly change my entire life direction? Lord knows the direction it's been headed hasn't been a whole lot of fun. And I know I could do well in the program. As fast as I read and type, I don't think I'd need nearly 18 months to finish it. It's just a fairly big step, since, if I invest the money in it, I want to use it and not have it be just something else I've dabbled in. If I do this, it would be a pretty portable career, and I wouldn't feel so limited to staying where I am(i.e., if Brian is offered a faculty position at Baylor, I could pack up my transcription machine and head south and have a way to contribute to the family income :-D). I know I'd love having the flexibility to do for J without worrying that me taking time for my family was going to hurt me at work. I'd save on gas if/when I got a job working from home. I'd love to be free of corporate America - it makes my head hurt. The biggest questions I can think of are 1) can I make enough money, and 2) can I find a job with benefits? I can save for my own retirement, but I've gotten a bit spoiled to having health and dental insurance, and I don't really relish the thought of paying for that out of pocket.
I guess first I'd have to see if I qualify for financial aid. If I do, then it's decision time. I realize that, at least until I get J on a good sleep schedule (and I will, oh yes, I will), study time would cut into my sleep time a good bit. Perhaps I could hit the books three nights a week and allow for a really good night's sleep two nights a week, and play it by ear on weekends (and try for good sleep on those nights as well).
I suppose this is why they call it a leap of faith. You don't know where something will end up, but you've got to have faith it will work out.
AACK.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
And just for fun...
From K & A's party on 4/28 (nice party, Brian met K and K's parents, no blood was shed, and J discovered the joy of the swimming pool) - doesn't J just look like a little man? *sniffle* I was amazed that the tie stayed on pretty much all night.
I'm nothing if not determined
Bedtime last night wasn't until 10:00, but I think that's largely my fault. I think 1) I tried to make too big an adjustment to the schedule, and 2) I didn't take into account the nap at school (he only sleeps about 30 minutes, but still, it's enough to make bedtime later). I put J in the bath at 7:15. When you're used to a bath between 8:30 and 9:00, 7:15 is a big switch - I should have aimed for 8:30, then gradually moved it back earlier. D'oh. He was in bed by 8:00, but didn't go to sleep until 10:00, and the in-between time involved stories, a round of wanting to sleep in my bed, potty break, milk, rocking in the rocking chair, and finally falling asleep in his own bed. Note to self: Drastic changes will not work. LOL So tonight I'll be a bit more reasonable about it, and work on moving bedtime back *gradually*.
I'm serious about sticking to this, though. I saw such a difference in J's behavior yesterday after just one night of solid sleep that it's worth the effort to make this change if it means better sleep and better behavior all the time. He only whined a little when I told him he couldn't have candy at the video store - this would usually have gotten a screaming jumping-up-and-down fit and a pissed-off mama. He was pleasant and happy and (except for the drawn-out bedtime) a joy to be around.
Now, if I can just convince K of this....
J has started in saying he doesn't want to go to daddy's this week, he doesn't like daddy and A's house, he wants to stay with me all the time. I *think* that the problem is Chuck the damn hamster. (I am never, ever getting a hamster. If I'd ever wanted one, I don't after hearing about Chuck. So much drama for such a small rodent.) After I asked him several times what he didn't like at daddy's, why he didn't want to go to daddy's, J finally told me Chuck is in his room and makes noise, and the noise hurts his ears. He also said that when A's 6-year-old (with whom J shares a room) was with his daddy, they moved Chuck to the game room. I talked to K this morning and pointed out that that's a lot for J to adjust to, a relatively unfamiliar place he's only at every couple of weeks, sharing a room with another little boy, not having anyone sit with him or sing to him or anything at bedtime, *and* a strange animal making noise, and I suggested they might want to consider moving Chuck while J is there. K said he's fought that battle already, that A says no special concessions. I tried to point out that it's not a concession, it's not forever, it's an adjustment, and that J has never had the flexibility to deal well with changes in routine, and K just said he wasn't going there again. I bit my tongue and didn't say that while I see A's point about not treating one child specially (although would she feel differently if J were a child with a quantifiable "special need"? Why can't difficulty adjusting to change and sensitivity to sounds be treated like any other need, and accommodated accordingly until J adjusts? Does she know what's best for my child? I think not), I don't agree that J should be plopped in the middle of one big ball of "different stuff" and basically told to deal with it, especially knowing he's not (and never has been) one of these kids that can "go with the flow", and I think she's being unreasonable to not allow some modifications while J adjusts to the new environment, and would K like me to talk to her. If J keeps having problems and keeps insisting he doesn't want to go see daddy, I *will* talk to her. J is my son and if I don't stick up for him, who will? I don't want to cause problems in K's marriage, but I also don't want my son miserable at the prospect of going to see his father, and I don't want him feeling like his feelings and needs don't matter. So that was a delightful way to start my day. If I hadn't gotten a good night's sleep, I'd have been very bitchy about it. (Sleep makes a world of difference - I no longer feel the need for Wellbutrin, at least not at the moment.)
J suggested earplugs himself, and I told K I'd get a pair and we could try that, if A is insistent that no changes be made. But if those don't help, if it becomes a battle royal every other weekend to get J to go see his dad, something will have to change. I don't want to force J to go somewhere he clearly doesn't want to go, I want him to be able to enjoy his time with his father.
I've told K that I saw a world of difference in J's behavior yesterday, after he slept so well on Sunday night. You'd think better behavior would be a pretty good incentive to help J get a good night's sleep. But if K and A prefer the drama, well, then, leave the effin' hamster right where he is.
Yeah, it irritates me. I know this is hard enough on J, and I'm sure K feels caught in the middle, between what J really needs, how A wants things to go, and how I'm telling him I'd like to see things go. When it comes down to it, I personally think taking care of J is most important. K and A are together every day, J is there two days out of every fourteen. Me, I don't see it as complete upheaval and chaos to move the hamster. I don't see it as letting a four-year-old run the show. I don't see it as special treatment. I see it as doing what needs to be done to help J be comfortable in strange surroundings. It feels like I'm the only one who does, though.
I'm serious about sticking to this, though. I saw such a difference in J's behavior yesterday after just one night of solid sleep that it's worth the effort to make this change if it means better sleep and better behavior all the time. He only whined a little when I told him he couldn't have candy at the video store - this would usually have gotten a screaming jumping-up-and-down fit and a pissed-off mama. He was pleasant and happy and (except for the drawn-out bedtime) a joy to be around.
Now, if I can just convince K of this....
J has started in saying he doesn't want to go to daddy's this week, he doesn't like daddy and A's house, he wants to stay with me all the time. I *think* that the problem is Chuck the damn hamster. (I am never, ever getting a hamster. If I'd ever wanted one, I don't after hearing about Chuck. So much drama for such a small rodent.) After I asked him several times what he didn't like at daddy's, why he didn't want to go to daddy's, J finally told me Chuck is in his room and makes noise, and the noise hurts his ears. He also said that when A's 6-year-old (with whom J shares a room) was with his daddy, they moved Chuck to the game room. I talked to K this morning and pointed out that that's a lot for J to adjust to, a relatively unfamiliar place he's only at every couple of weeks, sharing a room with another little boy, not having anyone sit with him or sing to him or anything at bedtime, *and* a strange animal making noise, and I suggested they might want to consider moving Chuck while J is there. K said he's fought that battle already, that A says no special concessions. I tried to point out that it's not a concession, it's not forever, it's an adjustment, and that J has never had the flexibility to deal well with changes in routine, and K just said he wasn't going there again. I bit my tongue and didn't say that while I see A's point about not treating one child specially (although would she feel differently if J were a child with a quantifiable "special need"? Why can't difficulty adjusting to change and sensitivity to sounds be treated like any other need, and accommodated accordingly until J adjusts? Does she know what's best for my child? I think not), I don't agree that J should be plopped in the middle of one big ball of "different stuff" and basically told to deal with it, especially knowing he's not (and never has been) one of these kids that can "go with the flow", and I think she's being unreasonable to not allow some modifications while J adjusts to the new environment, and would K like me to talk to her. If J keeps having problems and keeps insisting he doesn't want to go see daddy, I *will* talk to her. J is my son and if I don't stick up for him, who will? I don't want to cause problems in K's marriage, but I also don't want my son miserable at the prospect of going to see his father, and I don't want him feeling like his feelings and needs don't matter. So that was a delightful way to start my day. If I hadn't gotten a good night's sleep, I'd have been very bitchy about it. (Sleep makes a world of difference - I no longer feel the need for Wellbutrin, at least not at the moment.)
J suggested earplugs himself, and I told K I'd get a pair and we could try that, if A is insistent that no changes be made. But if those don't help, if it becomes a battle royal every other weekend to get J to go see his dad, something will have to change. I don't want to force J to go somewhere he clearly doesn't want to go, I want him to be able to enjoy his time with his father.
I've told K that I saw a world of difference in J's behavior yesterday, after he slept so well on Sunday night. You'd think better behavior would be a pretty good incentive to help J get a good night's sleep. But if K and A prefer the drama, well, then, leave the effin' hamster right where he is.
Yeah, it irritates me. I know this is hard enough on J, and I'm sure K feels caught in the middle, between what J really needs, how A wants things to go, and how I'm telling him I'd like to see things go. When it comes down to it, I personally think taking care of J is most important. K and A are together every day, J is there two days out of every fourteen. Me, I don't see it as complete upheaval and chaos to move the hamster. I don't see it as letting a four-year-old run the show. I don't see it as special treatment. I see it as doing what needs to be done to help J be comfortable in strange surroundings. It feels like I'm the only one who does, though.
Weekend update and finally, a good night's sleep
We had a big busy day on Saturday. We ran by the bank and the post office first, and then went to the park. It's a nice little park - it has one play area for younger/smaller kids, and one for bigger kids. Unfortunately, the play area for bigger kids was pretty full, with someone having a birthday party there (and it was a bunch of little girls, so it wasn't like J really wanted to play with them! LOL). The crowd bothered J, so we tried the smaller playground. Alas, he's too big to fit comfortably in most of the equipment there! So we gave up on the park before too long, but we'll try again another Saturday. After that, we went to Trade Days. It was small, not a whole lot of vendors, and I didn't see a tremendous amount of truly handmade stuff, certainly not in the bath and body/candle realm of things (hooray! Opportunity! That is, should Brian and I get to where we're proficient enough at making stuff to have enough to sell - we've talked about trying to get into soapmaking/candle making/bath and body stuff, either as a side business or maybe, someday, after a shitload of hard work, an actual brick-and-mortar business). There was a John Deere tractor display, though (one of the local lawn and garden shops had some of their products on display), and J had a pure fit over that. He had to sit on every tractor and pretend to drive it, more than once - I wished I'd had the camera for that. There were also puppies there - we looked at them, but he didn't ask for one. (Good thing. I'm not inclined to get a puppy. A small boy is enough work.) We bought a lucky bamboo plant for me and two little dog figurines for J - one of the dogs he got has its leg hiked up and is peeing on a fire hydrant, and J thinks that's the funniest.thing.ever. He is such a boy. After that, we went to McDonald's - I ate, and J took about three bites of his food and ran around like a wild thing in the Playplace. I told him he had to eat, or we wouldn't come inside anymore, that I wasn't paying $4.00 for a Happy Meal just so he could play. We probably stayed there an hour, and then ran by Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things - we had to get a present for J's little friend Jackson, whose party is this coming Saturday at Pump It Up - I think that might be a good place for J's party, if he likes it), and some other odds and ends. Given what I realize now about how sleep deprived he's been, he did remarkably well. After that we just went home.
On Sunday, he was up at 6:30 (after going to sleep at 10:00 - yeah, 8 1/2 hours with no nap, that's not nearly enough - that's about like me getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep). I had jumped out of bed at 6:00 when I heard the cuckoo clock, thinking it was really 7:00 and I was insanely late for work, and then I realized - it's Sunday. D'oh. So I'd just gotten back to sleep when here came J, ready to go. I didn't realize it was 6:30 until I sat up, and then I told him we needed to lay back down, and I made some comment about going back to bed. He started sobbing hysterically, and I hugged him and asked him what was wrong. He grabbed onto me and said, "No, you can't come back to bed, I don't want you to leave me in the living room by myself!" Poor darling, he'd thought I was going to leave him. I told him no, I wouldn't do that, and he settled down a little bit. He was just berserk at the thought of me leaving him, though. I'm still not sure what's up with that.
Mother's Day was a low-key day. Much to my surprise, K came by and brought me a card and a little something from J. It was a package of dried cherries covered in chocolate - not a big something, but it's the thought that counts. J signed his name in the card and brought me the card and cherries. He said, "Daddy said I should give this to you." LOL I love four-year-old honesty!
I tried to get him to take a nap around noon. We laid down for about five minutes, and he spent 4 1/2 of that screaming that he wasn't tired, he didn't want to lay down. (That's when I decided bedtime would be EARLY.) We spent the rest of the afternoon playing and doing wash and what have you, and I popped him in the bath at 6:15. I guess we played in the bath for about half an hour or so, and then he got into bed and we read our books. After that I tucked him in (he didn't even comment on it still being light outside, so you KNOW he was tired), and we did the me-checking-back-every-couple-of-minutes thing for a little while, then he asked to rock in the rocking chair. We did, and I sang to him (he's partial to songs from the Baptist Hymnal, so that's what I sing!), and after we'd gone through two or three, he asked me to sing him one more Bible verse and said then he'd go to bed. We did, he got back in bed, and he asked me to sit with him and just be quiet. So I did, and in about five minutes or so he rolled over and curled up into a ball, and he was out. Such a tired little boy.
I sure hope we can work the schedule to where he can get more sleep every night. He needs it, and I do, too. It's not realistic to expect that I'll have him in bed by 7:00 every night - most nights we're just getting home then, and I don't have a spouse or other family member who could pick him up earlier and get him home sooner, so we'll have to see what we can do. I can turn the TV off earlier, though, and keep him completely away from caffeine and sugar in the evenings, and I may even get a light-filtering shade for his room to help with getting him to sleep earlier in the evenings (as the summer goes on, it may stay light until 9:00 or 9:30). But we've got to get better about getting sleep, and we need to make that a priority. If it means no trips to Target or Wal-Mart during the week because that keeps us out too late and up too late, then that's how it will be.
On Sunday, he was up at 6:30 (after going to sleep at 10:00 - yeah, 8 1/2 hours with no nap, that's not nearly enough - that's about like me getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep). I had jumped out of bed at 6:00 when I heard the cuckoo clock, thinking it was really 7:00 and I was insanely late for work, and then I realized - it's Sunday. D'oh. So I'd just gotten back to sleep when here came J, ready to go. I didn't realize it was 6:30 until I sat up, and then I told him we needed to lay back down, and I made some comment about going back to bed. He started sobbing hysterically, and I hugged him and asked him what was wrong. He grabbed onto me and said, "No, you can't come back to bed, I don't want you to leave me in the living room by myself!" Poor darling, he'd thought I was going to leave him. I told him no, I wouldn't do that, and he settled down a little bit. He was just berserk at the thought of me leaving him, though. I'm still not sure what's up with that.
Mother's Day was a low-key day. Much to my surprise, K came by and brought me a card and a little something from J. It was a package of dried cherries covered in chocolate - not a big something, but it's the thought that counts. J signed his name in the card and brought me the card and cherries. He said, "Daddy said I should give this to you." LOL I love four-year-old honesty!
I tried to get him to take a nap around noon. We laid down for about five minutes, and he spent 4 1/2 of that screaming that he wasn't tired, he didn't want to lay down. (That's when I decided bedtime would be EARLY.) We spent the rest of the afternoon playing and doing wash and what have you, and I popped him in the bath at 6:15. I guess we played in the bath for about half an hour or so, and then he got into bed and we read our books. After that I tucked him in (he didn't even comment on it still being light outside, so you KNOW he was tired), and we did the me-checking-back-every-couple-of-minutes thing for a little while, then he asked to rock in the rocking chair. We did, and I sang to him (he's partial to songs from the Baptist Hymnal, so that's what I sing!), and after we'd gone through two or three, he asked me to sing him one more Bible verse and said then he'd go to bed. We did, he got back in bed, and he asked me to sit with him and just be quiet. So I did, and in about five minutes or so he rolled over and curled up into a ball, and he was out. Such a tired little boy.
I sure hope we can work the schedule to where he can get more sleep every night. He needs it, and I do, too. It's not realistic to expect that I'll have him in bed by 7:00 every night - most nights we're just getting home then, and I don't have a spouse or other family member who could pick him up earlier and get him home sooner, so we'll have to see what we can do. I can turn the TV off earlier, though, and keep him completely away from caffeine and sugar in the evenings, and I may even get a light-filtering shade for his room to help with getting him to sleep earlier in the evenings (as the summer goes on, it may stay light until 9:00 or 9:30). But we've got to get better about getting sleep, and we need to make that a priority. If it means no trips to Target or Wal-Mart during the week because that keeps us out too late and up too late, then that's how it will be.
Friday, May 11, 2007
And who couldn't use a good night's sleep?
Bedtime has been fairly dreadful lately. The idea of me checking in on J every few minutes as long as he stayed quietly in bed worked OK for about three nights, and then he started with this weird separation issue and it all went to hell in a handbasket. He'd cry for me if I so much as stepped out of his sight during the day, much less if I actually left his room of a night. Of course, K would tell me to lay down the law and that maybe I should consider spanking him (I'm not sure he intended that for bedtime or just in general, but J is not the kind of child who will respond well to spanking, I don't think - he may be contrite in the short run, but I don't think the iron fist teaches him to control himself and govern his own behavior, and mama and daddy won't always be there to enforce that control for him - but I digress, back to bedtime). So the last three or four nights have been absolute flaming hell at bedtime, because I persisted in trying the in and out thing, and J persisted in screaming his little head off and fighting it and me for all he was worth. Good times.
TonightJ wanted me to stay with him at bedtime, so I did. Lo and behold, no fuss, no muss. After he fell asleep, I picked up my other Mary Kurcinka book, Sleepless in America (I also have Raising Your Spirited Child), and I cried as I read it. We're both sleep deprived. Sleep deprived children fight sleep and sleep less, they're argumentative, easily frustrated, wired, bouncing off the walls, more clumsy, more likely to pick fights and resist parental guidance, quicker to whine and say "no" and throw tantrums over the most minute of things, and I saw J in every word. It also talked about how to recognize if you as a parent are sleep deprived - do you get set off more easily, yell, feel guilty for having no energy for the kids, get really sleepy during the day. Yeah, we both need more sleep. I just ordered copies of that and of Raising Your Spirited Child to give to Kevin, and he better read every word, because I don't want one more word from him about how we just need to lay down the law. After reading that, I'm convinced that sleep deprivation is at the root of a lot of these problems, and that behavior can be drastically improved if we can get J into a routine where he's more easily able to get the sleep he needs. I don't give a rat's ass what A does with her kids, J isn't those kids and he can't be treated the same way, necessarily. If K can't see J in the pages of those books, he's not paying attention, because every sentence, every paragraph just leapt off the pages at me and smacked me upside the head.
At one point the author talked about having the parents in a class she was teaching list all the strategies they'd been told to try, by family or friends or doctors or whatever, to get their kids to sleep - let them cry it out, put your foot down, don't respond to them when they call, just stay for a couple of minutes and then leave, shut the door, don't comfort them, don't rock them, and so on. At the next class, she then told them she was looking for a care facility for her dad who had Parkinson's, and she described a (fictional) place where the philosophy was, we're in control, we won't mollycoddle the patients, they'll go to bed when it's time, no exceptions, if they're in pain or wet or whatever they can wait until rounds start at 6 AM, if they wake up during the night no one's going to go in and hold their hands, they can just learn to deal with it on their own, basically everything that's traditionally said about getting your kids to sleep. Of course the parents were appalled, said it was inhumane, such a place should be shut down, you can't treat people that way - and then the author made the point, why are we horrified at the thought of treating the elderly this way at bedtime, but not our children? Smack, right in the face. If a child isn't getting what he needs to be comfortable, he gets tense. More tension, less sleep. Less sleep, worse behavior and more tension, and on and on. So, new approach. If J needs me to sit with him, I sit. As long as he's not taking two hours to get to sleep, if he'll lay in bed quietly and make an effort to sleep, I'll stay. Tonight when I turned out the light, he reached out and grabbed my hand and said, "Don't leave me." Not crying, not whining, not demanding, just very softly, as if he expected me to go anyway. I could have cried right then, and I'd no more have left than I'd have jumped off a cliff. It took him about half an hour to get to sleep, but he laid in bed quietly for most of that time, and that was OK. If me being there is what he needs right now, then that's what he'll have. And I'm going to try my best to start getting more sleep myself. A break from transcription could be a blessing in disguise in that regard.
Yeah, a break - not sure what's happening with my part-time job. I can't do overflow for Julie anymore, because she quit - she got a full-time job in her field, and understandably gave transcription the heave-ho. So, the last time I called to ask about work, I was told that they'd gotten a company to help them catch up, and that they had my number and would call if they needed any help. Call me crazy, but that sounds like a blow-off to me. Oh well. I'll try to find something else if possible, and life goes on. Sucks, though, because the extra money was a help, and there isn't another part-time job I can think of that I could do from home and do that well with, and finances aren't bad enough that 1) I want to have to try to ask K for more help with J (I have a feeling that wouldn't sit well with A, and I guess I can understand that), or 2) I want to lose even more time with J. I feel like my time with him is short enough as it is.
Let's see, what else has gone on? Brian and J and I went to K & A's reception a couple of weeks ago. It was a nice party, and Brian got to meet K and K's parents and a couple of other relatives. I didn't think it was awkward, and we had a good time. J wore a tie for the first time and looked like quite the little man. I'll have to post a picture.
And last weekend, Brian and I did the "meet the parents" thing. I think it went well.
I'll write more later, I've got to get to bed if I'm going to get more sleep!
TonightJ wanted me to stay with him at bedtime, so I did. Lo and behold, no fuss, no muss. After he fell asleep, I picked up my other Mary Kurcinka book, Sleepless in America (I also have Raising Your Spirited Child), and I cried as I read it. We're both sleep deprived. Sleep deprived children fight sleep and sleep less, they're argumentative, easily frustrated, wired, bouncing off the walls, more clumsy, more likely to pick fights and resist parental guidance, quicker to whine and say "no" and throw tantrums over the most minute of things, and I saw J in every word. It also talked about how to recognize if you as a parent are sleep deprived - do you get set off more easily, yell, feel guilty for having no energy for the kids, get really sleepy during the day. Yeah, we both need more sleep. I just ordered copies of that and of Raising Your Spirited Child to give to Kevin, and he better read every word, because I don't want one more word from him about how we just need to lay down the law. After reading that, I'm convinced that sleep deprivation is at the root of a lot of these problems, and that behavior can be drastically improved if we can get J into a routine where he's more easily able to get the sleep he needs. I don't give a rat's ass what A does with her kids, J isn't those kids and he can't be treated the same way, necessarily. If K can't see J in the pages of those books, he's not paying attention, because every sentence, every paragraph just leapt off the pages at me and smacked me upside the head.
At one point the author talked about having the parents in a class she was teaching list all the strategies they'd been told to try, by family or friends or doctors or whatever, to get their kids to sleep - let them cry it out, put your foot down, don't respond to them when they call, just stay for a couple of minutes and then leave, shut the door, don't comfort them, don't rock them, and so on. At the next class, she then told them she was looking for a care facility for her dad who had Parkinson's, and she described a (fictional) place where the philosophy was, we're in control, we won't mollycoddle the patients, they'll go to bed when it's time, no exceptions, if they're in pain or wet or whatever they can wait until rounds start at 6 AM, if they wake up during the night no one's going to go in and hold their hands, they can just learn to deal with it on their own, basically everything that's traditionally said about getting your kids to sleep. Of course the parents were appalled, said it was inhumane, such a place should be shut down, you can't treat people that way - and then the author made the point, why are we horrified at the thought of treating the elderly this way at bedtime, but not our children? Smack, right in the face. If a child isn't getting what he needs to be comfortable, he gets tense. More tension, less sleep. Less sleep, worse behavior and more tension, and on and on. So, new approach. If J needs me to sit with him, I sit. As long as he's not taking two hours to get to sleep, if he'll lay in bed quietly and make an effort to sleep, I'll stay. Tonight when I turned out the light, he reached out and grabbed my hand and said, "Don't leave me." Not crying, not whining, not demanding, just very softly, as if he expected me to go anyway. I could have cried right then, and I'd no more have left than I'd have jumped off a cliff. It took him about half an hour to get to sleep, but he laid in bed quietly for most of that time, and that was OK. If me being there is what he needs right now, then that's what he'll have. And I'm going to try my best to start getting more sleep myself. A break from transcription could be a blessing in disguise in that regard.
Yeah, a break - not sure what's happening with my part-time job. I can't do overflow for Julie anymore, because she quit - she got a full-time job in her field, and understandably gave transcription the heave-ho. So, the last time I called to ask about work, I was told that they'd gotten a company to help them catch up, and that they had my number and would call if they needed any help. Call me crazy, but that sounds like a blow-off to me. Oh well. I'll try to find something else if possible, and life goes on. Sucks, though, because the extra money was a help, and there isn't another part-time job I can think of that I could do from home and do that well with, and finances aren't bad enough that 1) I want to have to try to ask K for more help with J (I have a feeling that wouldn't sit well with A, and I guess I can understand that), or 2) I want to lose even more time with J. I feel like my time with him is short enough as it is.
Let's see, what else has gone on? Brian and J and I went to K & A's reception a couple of weeks ago. It was a nice party, and Brian got to meet K and K's parents and a couple of other relatives. I didn't think it was awkward, and we had a good time. J wore a tie for the first time and looked like quite the little man. I'll have to post a picture.
And last weekend, Brian and I did the "meet the parents" thing. I think it went well.
I'll write more later, I've got to get to bed if I'm going to get more sleep!
Friday, April 13, 2007
Friday's Feast
What is this, my fourth or fifth? I've lost track.
Feast Number One Hundred & Thirty-Nine
Appetizer
When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite?
Red-violet or aquamarine.
Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move?
Depends on where it required me to move to. If it's somewhere cold, the answer is -5. It would have to be the best job in the whole wide world to get me to move somewhere with actual winter. If it's somewhere closer to Brian or to family (assuming that it's a good job for me to move to), the answer is 10.
Salad
Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. What’s the total?
Fifty-nine.
Main Course
Have you ever “re-gifted” anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to?
I'm sure I have, but I can't recall right now what I've done that with or who I gave it to.
Dessert
Name something you need from the store.
Soy milk.
Feast Number One Hundred & Thirty-Nine
Appetizer
When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite?
Red-violet or aquamarine.
Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move?
Depends on where it required me to move to. If it's somewhere cold, the answer is -5. It would have to be the best job in the whole wide world to get me to move somewhere with actual winter. If it's somewhere closer to Brian or to family (assuming that it's a good job for me to move to), the answer is 10.
Salad
Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. What’s the total?
Fifty-nine.
Main Course
Have you ever “re-gifted” anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to?
I'm sure I have, but I can't recall right now what I've done that with or who I gave it to.
Dessert
Name something you need from the store.
Soy milk.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #11
Again with the two weeks' hiatus. I've had a lot going on and been sick and just not felt in much of a posting mood. Hopefully I'll catch up this week.
For now, I'm getting an early start on this week's Thursday Thirteen!
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
For now, I'm getting an early start on this week's Thursday Thirteen!
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1. Lush - bath goodies. 2. Isle of Eden - more bath goodies. 3. Chocolate - the darker the better 4. Good Mexican food 5. Books, especially ones that come to me free! (if you want to sign up, I'll be glad to give you my e-mail as a referral! ;-) ) 6. A good sale - if it's on sale, it must be good to stock up, right? 7. Fantasy Bath - still more bath goodies 8. Wylde Ivy - beautiful soaps (OK, technically still in the bath goodies category, but slightly different, and yes, I admit it - I have a problem! LOL) 9. Kids' fundraisers - if someone's kid is selling something, I'm likely to buy a little something, because my kid is no doubt going to be the next one doing the selling. I always hope people will return the favor when it's my kid doing the asking. 10. A peppermint mocha from Starbucks - I'm hard pressed to turn this down, especially on sleepy days. 11. The snooze button on my alarm. I always feel like I need "just ten more minutes" - three or four times. 12. Cheetos. I think this is my favorite crunchy snack food. 13. My son saying "please?" Sometimes you've got to be the good parent and stand strong, but sometimes you just can't say no to that. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Ingrid 2. Raggedy 3. dane bramage 4. jennymcb 5. Janet |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
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