And what a week it's been. J started running fever again last Wednesday afternoon - daycare called and said his temperature was 102, to come get him. On Thursday his temp was back up to 104, so hi ho, hi ho, off to the doctor we went. She said it could have been the virus hanging on, or could have been the sinus infection not yet responding to antibiotics, but that a jump back up in fever like that called for bloodwork and x-rays to make sure it wasn't anything more serious. UGH. J did really well with the blood draw - he fussed more about having the bandage to hold the cotton on his arm after it was over than he did the actual draw - but he was beyond tired and cranky during the x-rays, and very displeased about having to sit in certain positions. My tiny boy. *SIGH* So I was off last Thursday and Friday with him. Thankfully he was back to his perky self by Friday, no fever, but the doc still said I should keep him home that day, so I did.
He took NAPS over the weekend!!!!! This is huge, as he hadn't taken any weekend naps since he started sleeping in his big boy bed. Saturday he fell asleep in the floor with his head on his little chair and slept for about 2 hours. The nap was late enough to push bedtime back a bit, but that break sure was nice. Sunday he laid down in the floor with his head on the chair, asked for milk, and was snoring in minutes! And that nap was early enough that it didn't interfere with bedtime. So maybe, hopefully naps will be a part of the weekends again.
And then I was off Monday, taking care of the loan closing! WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Funds will be in my account Friday afternoon. The downside is, I have to run back up there Friday morning - you have 3 days to cancel the transaction by law, and the lender I'm using requires that you deliver the paperwork saying you aren't taking it back in person rather than by mail or fax. So that's a bit inconvenient, but I'll just run up there before work on Friday. And it will then be a DONE DEAL!!!! I've already ordered a new mattress, it will be delivered on Monday.
Then I got to come back to work on Tuesday after having been out for three days. OMG, it was hideous. I was so busy, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I know work tends to stack up when you're out no matter what job you have, but it seems like it stacks up to a greater extent here. Not sure why that is.
And tonight is my late night, so I'll be here until 7:00. This, after having an up-and-down night with J wanting a drink, wanting to be rocked, wanting to be covered up with his blanket. *YAWN*
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Another quick fly-by
The J-man was sick all weekend. Went to the doc on Monday - viral throat infection and sinus infection. He's on antibiotics and some cough syrup/decongestant with codeine. You'd think it would knock him right out, but no. At least he took a 2 1/2 hour nap while we were home on Monday, so he and I both got some much-needed rest (Sunday night was just brutal, fever, chills, all sorts of fun stuff). He's better now, not quite back to 100%, but better. I had to laugh - when I pulled into the parking lot at daycare this morning, I said, "yay, school!" J said, "Stop it, mama, I no like school." I said, well, then, what do you want to do if you don't want to go to school? He looked at me with this big cheesy grin and said, "Go home!" LOLOL Yeah, buddy, you got a day off with mama and decided that was way more fun than school, I know how you work!
And it was too funny - when I picked him up yesterday, one of the little girls in his class was trying her darnedest to give him a hug, and he was having nothing to do with it. Girls - so it begins.... LOL
Looks like the loan may close on Monday. Woo hoo!!!! Mama's going mattress shopping!!! I woke up this morning with my back just killing me. The one on my bed right now is absolute crap. I am SO looking forward to sleeping on something that doesn't cause me pain. And I'll be getting a new home computer, too, so hopefully I can blog more often (I'm hesitant about getting on too much at work, which is why I've kind of disappeared recently).
Other than that, it's just work, eat, sleep, and damn, do I ever need to find time for exercise. I'm thinking about buying a punching bag and taking up boxing. What do y'all think? Anyone have any experience with that?
And it was too funny - when I picked him up yesterday, one of the little girls in his class was trying her darnedest to give him a hug, and he was having nothing to do with it. Girls - so it begins.... LOL
Looks like the loan may close on Monday. Woo hoo!!!! Mama's going mattress shopping!!! I woke up this morning with my back just killing me. The one on my bed right now is absolute crap. I am SO looking forward to sleeping on something that doesn't cause me pain. And I'll be getting a new home computer, too, so hopefully I can blog more often (I'm hesitant about getting on too much at work, which is why I've kind of disappeared recently).
Other than that, it's just work, eat, sleep, and damn, do I ever need to find time for exercise. I'm thinking about buying a punching bag and taking up boxing. What do y'all think? Anyone have any experience with that?
Saturday, March 12, 2005
What is the deal?!
I have had the worst time lately posting from home. AARGH. Either it doesn't go through, or I end up posting twice. That loan can't close soon enough, mama needs a new computer and a new mattress.
J is sick. He was running fever of almost 102 last night, and he's so snotted up it hurts me to hear him trying to breathe. He was restless last night, woke up at 6:00 this morning wanting to be rocked, and was up for the day at 6:50. UGH. I was hoping to refill his every-other-week prescription for Zithromax today, to get a head start on what I'm pretty sure is a sinus infection, but insurance wouldn't pay for it. I'd just refilled it March 5, and they said it was too soon. *fume, fuss, fret* The cash price was $78, and it just wasn't there today. So I reckon we'll just be going to the doctor bright and early Monday morning. Sweet boy, he doesn't slow down much when he's sick, but he's been a bit grumpier than usual today, and not completely his usual perky self. He's sleeping with the vaporizer on (no nap today, it took him about 10 seconds to sack out when he went to bed!), and hopefully that will keep his head clear enough that he can sleep well tonight. I think we could both do with a good night's rest!
Now, let's see if *this* will post....
J is sick. He was running fever of almost 102 last night, and he's so snotted up it hurts me to hear him trying to breathe. He was restless last night, woke up at 6:00 this morning wanting to be rocked, and was up for the day at 6:50. UGH. I was hoping to refill his every-other-week prescription for Zithromax today, to get a head start on what I'm pretty sure is a sinus infection, but insurance wouldn't pay for it. I'd just refilled it March 5, and they said it was too soon. *fume, fuss, fret* The cash price was $78, and it just wasn't there today. So I reckon we'll just be going to the doctor bright and early Monday morning. Sweet boy, he doesn't slow down much when he's sick, but he's been a bit grumpier than usual today, and not completely his usual perky self. He's sleeping with the vaporizer on (no nap today, it took him about 10 seconds to sack out when he went to bed!), and hopefully that will keep his head clear enough that he can sleep well tonight. I think we could both do with a good night's rest!
Now, let's see if *this* will post....
Resurfacing
Geez, I can't remember the last time I wrote. Hope I don't repeat myself! LOL
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
Resurfacing
Geez, I can't remember the last time I wrote. Hope I don't repeat myself! LOL
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Well, crap.
No, nothing bad has happened, I just had a long post written out and then lost it. Harrumph. I don't think I have the energy to recreate it, so here's the nutshell version of what I wrote:
*Work is work.
*Traffic sucks, some days more than others.
*My checking account is overdrawn again, dammit. Isn't a law degree worth more than this without me having to sell my soul to the almighty billable hour?
*J is a hoot and a half, in spite of the occasional flaming meltdown, and I adore him and wish I could videotape everything he says and does, to have it all for future reference. But then I'd miss the real thing, and that would never do.
*Got the appraisal results - long story short, it was a good bit higher than I expected, and there's more money in the house than I can afford to get out. I've asked them to figure payment amounts for a couple of different, higher loan amounts, so a bit more cash may come out, but not more than I can afford to take. I'm trying to *fix* financial woes, not make them worse. Closing should take place by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by month end. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!! Here's hoping this is a sign of *good* things to come (things which I think are long overdue).
And now, it's night-night time.
*Work is work.
*Traffic sucks, some days more than others.
*My checking account is overdrawn again, dammit. Isn't a law degree worth more than this without me having to sell my soul to the almighty billable hour?
*J is a hoot and a half, in spite of the occasional flaming meltdown, and I adore him and wish I could videotape everything he says and does, to have it all for future reference. But then I'd miss the real thing, and that would never do.
*Got the appraisal results - long story short, it was a good bit higher than I expected, and there's more money in the house than I can afford to get out. I've asked them to figure payment amounts for a couple of different, higher loan amounts, so a bit more cash may come out, but not more than I can afford to take. I'm trying to *fix* financial woes, not make them worse. Closing should take place by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by month end. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!! Here's hoping this is a sign of *good* things to come (things which I think are long overdue).
And now, it's night-night time.
Another little update
Things have pretty much been rocking along here. Work is work, traffic sucks daily (some days worse than others), and just call me our lady of the perpetually short of cash. Yep, it's a week until payday, and my checking account is overdrawn again. *SIGH* I should think my law degree would be worth more than this.
But in some good news - the appraiser came out on Monday, and the loan processor got in touch with me today to let me know the results. The house appraised for quite a bit more than I was expecting - when I saw the figure in her e-mail, my jaw literally dropped. Let's just say there's more money in the house than I can afford to take out. :-) The house has increased nicely in value since K and I moved here in 1996. I asked the processor to figure the payments for two different, higher loan amounts, so I can see just how much I can afford. Any extra cash I get and put into savings can only be a good thing, as long as it's not more than I can afford. Payments will be a bit higher because of escrow, but I'm just looking at that as my forced savings account for taxes and insurance, and it relieves me of having to scramble for those big chunks of change every year. So I'm hoping this is a sign of more good news to come. The loan should close by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by the end of the month. Woo hoo!!!
J does funny things every day. I wish I could just videotape every single thing he says and does so I could relive it all, and have some more concrete reference than my often flawed memory. But then I'd miss the real deal, wouldn't I? :-) Yes, there are times I lose patience, and yes, there are times he's strong-willed and obstinate and whiny and occasionally, just downright cantankerous. But he's a sweet, funny, adorable, loving boy who says "Bless you, mama!" when I sneeze and holds my hand when we walk across parking lots. And some of the things he does and says just make me laugh out loud. Tonight I was trying to get him to sleep, and the last couple of nights he's wanted me to rock him (I've cherished these moments, because he doesn't ask to be rocked very often anymore!). Tonight he said, "mama, want rock a baby (rock-a-bye baby)." I said, do you want me to rock you? "Hum." Do you want me to sing rock-a-bye baby? "Hum." So we rocked and I sang, and every time I'd stop, he'd say, "Do again!" So I'd sing some more. This is a novel concept, he usually asks me to *stop* singing! LOL Sweet baby boy. I sure do love him.
And now, I'd better get some sleep.
But in some good news - the appraiser came out on Monday, and the loan processor got in touch with me today to let me know the results. The house appraised for quite a bit more than I was expecting - when I saw the figure in her e-mail, my jaw literally dropped. Let's just say there's more money in the house than I can afford to take out. :-) The house has increased nicely in value since K and I moved here in 1996. I asked the processor to figure the payments for two different, higher loan amounts, so I can see just how much I can afford. Any extra cash I get and put into savings can only be a good thing, as long as it's not more than I can afford. Payments will be a bit higher because of escrow, but I'm just looking at that as my forced savings account for taxes and insurance, and it relieves me of having to scramble for those big chunks of change every year. So I'm hoping this is a sign of more good news to come. The loan should close by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by the end of the month. Woo hoo!!!
J does funny things every day. I wish I could just videotape every single thing he says and does so I could relive it all, and have some more concrete reference than my often flawed memory. But then I'd miss the real deal, wouldn't I? :-) Yes, there are times I lose patience, and yes, there are times he's strong-willed and obstinate and whiny and occasionally, just downright cantankerous. But he's a sweet, funny, adorable, loving boy who says "Bless you, mama!" when I sneeze and holds my hand when we walk across parking lots. And some of the things he does and says just make me laugh out loud. Tonight I was trying to get him to sleep, and the last couple of nights he's wanted me to rock him (I've cherished these moments, because he doesn't ask to be rocked very often anymore!). Tonight he said, "mama, want rock a baby (rock-a-bye baby)." I said, do you want me to rock you? "Hum." Do you want me to sing rock-a-bye baby? "Hum." So we rocked and I sang, and every time I'd stop, he'd say, "Do again!" So I'd sing some more. This is a novel concept, he usually asks me to *stop* singing! LOL Sweet baby boy. I sure do love him.
And now, I'd better get some sleep.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Just a little update
Not that there's been a whole lot to update about, I just wanted to post in case anyone was wondering if I'd fallen off the planet. LOL
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
Just a little update
Not that there's been a whole lot to update about, I just wanted to post in case anyone was wondering if I'd fallen off the planet. LOL
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
All boy, all the time....
Well, I got to daycare Tuesday afternoon to find that J has his first official shiner. My poor baby. I asked him what happened, and he said, "Collin hit with that dump truck!" I said, "Did Collin hit you with a dump truck?" "Hum (yes)." I said, "Did Collin say he was sorry?" "Hum." I kissed it and said, "Is it better now?" "Hum!" His teacher said it was just an accident, and I know those happen when you've got a room full of 2 1/2-year-olds, no matter how closely you watch them. He has a big bruise under his left eye, and even a purple mark on the bridge of his nose. That Collin must pack a wallop! His teacher said they'd put cold compresses on it, and at one point she asked J if he wanted the cold on it a little longer. His response? "No, it's all better." So no permanent damage done, he just looks rough. K said he's going to get J a shirt that says, "You should see the other kid." LOLOL Even now, a couple of days later, it's pretty ferocious. At first it was just the big bruise under his eye, on his cheekbone, and the bridge of his nose. Now the purple is all the way up under his eye. *SIGH* It's been a little swollen, but is going down now, and he doesn't act like it hurts him. I'm sure this is just the first of many bumps and scrapes and bruises - after all, he is a boy.
And now I'm going to whine about something completely unrelated. Why is it so hard to make friends with some people at work? I've been here almost a year. Our team leader is close to my age and while she isn't an attorney, she has a legal background. One of my other team members is an attorney, and I talk a lot to them both. Another co-worker left a few months ago to take the Texas bar, so she also falls in the female attorney category (there aren't that many of us up here). The co-worker who left is meeting the other two for lunch today. We all work in cubes, so I overheard them talking about it. I mentioned it to my attorney friend, "oh, I hear y'all are going to lunch with so-and-so, how'd she do on the bar, etc." She said yes, they were going to lunch, it would be good to see her and so on. (and here's the whiny part) But not a word was said about the possibility of me joining them. I don't get that. We're all close in age, we have the same kind of background, I know the woman that they're going to lunch with, we're all friends - but I never seem to get lunch invites when they go. I go out to lunch with co-workers, I invite others to go, it's just that I never seem to be asked to go with these two. Given the things we have in common, you'd think it might occur to them to ask me. But no, never. It feels like high school, where there's one little clique you just can't break into, no matter how hard you try. And you might wonder, well, you've got other friends there, Lisa, why is this important to you? Because there are a lot of my friends here who are older than me. These two women are close to my age, one has kids, one wants kids, and we go through a lot of the same stuff. It would be nice for all my work friends not to be 10 or 15 or 20 years older. There, whining over for now. Maybe I'll invite them to lunch sometime, or invite myself if I hear them talking (although that always seems so rude - I'm of the school of thought that if someone was interested in my presence, they'd ask).
I haven't written much the last couple of days because it seems like things have been just rocking along. I'll be doing some cleaning and picking up this weekend - the appraiser comes on Monday to do the appraisal for the home equity loan. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it goes well! I'm pretty sure that if the loan wasn't going to happen, the loan officer would have said so up front, and wouldn't have required all the paperwork and rigmarole. But still - I'll feel better when it's a done deal, and I have cash in hand and debts paid off.
Now, off to eat something for lunch - I'm hungry!
And now I'm going to whine about something completely unrelated. Why is it so hard to make friends with some people at work? I've been here almost a year. Our team leader is close to my age and while she isn't an attorney, she has a legal background. One of my other team members is an attorney, and I talk a lot to them both. Another co-worker left a few months ago to take the Texas bar, so she also falls in the female attorney category (there aren't that many of us up here). The co-worker who left is meeting the other two for lunch today. We all work in cubes, so I overheard them talking about it. I mentioned it to my attorney friend, "oh, I hear y'all are going to lunch with so-and-so, how'd she do on the bar, etc." She said yes, they were going to lunch, it would be good to see her and so on. (and here's the whiny part) But not a word was said about the possibility of me joining them. I don't get that. We're all close in age, we have the same kind of background, I know the woman that they're going to lunch with, we're all friends - but I never seem to get lunch invites when they go. I go out to lunch with co-workers, I invite others to go, it's just that I never seem to be asked to go with these two. Given the things we have in common, you'd think it might occur to them to ask me. But no, never. It feels like high school, where there's one little clique you just can't break into, no matter how hard you try. And you might wonder, well, you've got other friends there, Lisa, why is this important to you? Because there are a lot of my friends here who are older than me. These two women are close to my age, one has kids, one wants kids, and we go through a lot of the same stuff. It would be nice for all my work friends not to be 10 or 15 or 20 years older. There, whining over for now. Maybe I'll invite them to lunch sometime, or invite myself if I hear them talking (although that always seems so rude - I'm of the school of thought that if someone was interested in my presence, they'd ask).
I haven't written much the last couple of days because it seems like things have been just rocking along. I'll be doing some cleaning and picking up this weekend - the appraiser comes on Monday to do the appraisal for the home equity loan. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it goes well! I'm pretty sure that if the loan wasn't going to happen, the loan officer would have said so up front, and wouldn't have required all the paperwork and rigmarole. But still - I'll feel better when it's a done deal, and I have cash in hand and debts paid off.
Now, off to eat something for lunch - I'm hungry!
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
This Week's Unconscious Mutterings
From Unconscious Mutterings - this week's words and what they call to mind for me:
- You’ve got a friend:: James Taylor
- Immigration:: Texas
- Waitress:: Tip
- Snickers:: Chocolate
- Recognize:: Know
- Concept:: Theory
- Birthday:: Party
- Told you so:: Nyah nyah nyah
- Unlikely:: Why even try?
- Extension:: Cord
Starting off slowly
Today has started off a bit better than yesterday, but not much. J had a little accident last night. Somehow he slipped off my bed and wedged himself between the bed and the nightstand. In the process he scraped his leg, his back and his arm, and since he is my child, there are sure to be bruises (I bruise if the wind blows at me the wrong way! LOL). *SIGH* He screamed, I screamed, and we all had a little fit. I thought he bumped his head, but when I asked him, he said he hadn't. The bruises and scrapes didn't look too bad this morning, but I'm sure they'll darken in a day or so. My poor boy - he needs body armor. I took the precaution of explaining what had happened to his teacher, I didn't want her to think there was any need to call in CPS. :) Poor baby, he got his mama's clumsy gene. I can just about trip over shadows, and apparently so can he.
He woke up twice last night, once at 12:40, soaking wet and with a loaded pair of underpants, and once at 4:20, just screaming. I think he had a bad dream then - he laid right back down after I hugged him, and was asleep by the time I got back with the milk he'd requested. So it's not like he was up a long time on either occasion, but the interrupted sleep just doesn't do me much good.
And the morning battles continue. *SIGH* People say you should get up early, plan extra time into your routine when you're trying to get out of the house with a young child. Yeah, right. I could probably get J up at 5:30 and still not get out of the house until after 7:00. It took ages to get him into the car - everything was "no, no, no". I was just about to pick him up and carry him (a feat that's getting more challenging by the day - what will I do when he figures out that mama picking him up and moving him is an idle threat?!) when he ran out to the garage, ready to go. He left his toys in the truck with no fuss today, and drop-off was much improved, so other than the power struggle to get out of the house and the fact that I was horrifically late (not getting here, I was here by 8:30, just late leaving), it was better than yesterday.
Talked to the loan officer yesterday - she got my paperwork, and it's gone to processing. The appraiser is supposed to call and set up a time to come by. I hope they don't count off for clutter - I'm in the middle of dejunking and trying to organize so much that some things are pretty piled up. I just want it to appraise for at least what I thought it was worth (which was about $20,000 less than the value for property tax purposes - I'm hoping the appraisal comes close to what the tax office says my house is worth!). I'll feel a lot better when it's a done deal. I know if it was going to be turned down, the loan officer would have told me that up front, and it wouldn't have even gotten to the point of filling out all this paperwork and doing an appraisal. But still, I'm nervous, and I'll be less so when it's done and signed and I have cash in hand and only one big payment to make (no more car payment, no more credit cards, woo hoo!!!!).
He woke up twice last night, once at 12:40, soaking wet and with a loaded pair of underpants, and once at 4:20, just screaming. I think he had a bad dream then - he laid right back down after I hugged him, and was asleep by the time I got back with the milk he'd requested. So it's not like he was up a long time on either occasion, but the interrupted sleep just doesn't do me much good.
And the morning battles continue. *SIGH* People say you should get up early, plan extra time into your routine when you're trying to get out of the house with a young child. Yeah, right. I could probably get J up at 5:30 and still not get out of the house until after 7:00. It took ages to get him into the car - everything was "no, no, no". I was just about to pick him up and carry him (a feat that's getting more challenging by the day - what will I do when he figures out that mama picking him up and moving him is an idle threat?!) when he ran out to the garage, ready to go. He left his toys in the truck with no fuss today, and drop-off was much improved, so other than the power struggle to get out of the house and the fact that I was horrifically late (not getting here, I was here by 8:30, just late leaving), it was better than yesterday.
Talked to the loan officer yesterday - she got my paperwork, and it's gone to processing. The appraiser is supposed to call and set up a time to come by. I hope they don't count off for clutter - I'm in the middle of dejunking and trying to organize so much that some things are pretty piled up. I just want it to appraise for at least what I thought it was worth (which was about $20,000 less than the value for property tax purposes - I'm hoping the appraisal comes close to what the tax office says my house is worth!). I'll feel a lot better when it's a done deal. I know if it was going to be turned down, the loan officer would have told me that up front, and it wouldn't have even gotten to the point of filling out all this paperwork and doing an appraisal. But still, I'm nervous, and I'll be less so when it's done and signed and I have cash in hand and only one big payment to make (no more car payment, no more credit cards, woo hoo!!!!).
Monday, February 28, 2005
Monday all day long.
It was a fairly rotten weekend from an emotional standpoint. J is very two, and K and I had a discussion about some financial stuff that just left me tired. In the course of that conversation, I got really uptight and lost it in front of J, which is something I swore I'd never do. He knew something was up - I could tell by the look on his face, and that look just cut me to the bone. So K and I both hugged him and reassured him, and he's probably forgotten the whole thing by now - but still, I felt like the worst parent ever.
And J is just so very, very TWO. Meltdowns with minimal or no provocation, constant repetition of limits that you know he understands, and the ever-present "no" (I seriously think he says "no" just to hear himself say it, not because he really means it). It's very draining. Supposedly little girls are calmer and more obedient at this age, and the trade-off is that teenage boys are generally easier to deal with. But Lord have mercy, the preschool years may kill me off first. Now I understand why one of my girlfriends was constantly riding herd on her two boys - she had to! And friends with children tell me three is worse. OY. I love my son, I'd do anything for him, I wouldn't trade him for the world, but boy howdy, being a parent sure is hard work.
This day hasn't started off so great, either. Three meltdowns from J this morning - one over turning the TV off when it was time to go, although we'd discussed several times the point at which the video would have to be turned off; one over leaving his dump truck in mama's truck, although he understands that he may lose toys if he takes them to school and is generally quite good about leaving things without a fuss; and the screaming-banshee impression at daycare drop-off. The third one really upset me. We'd been doing so well with that - J and I have talked about the fact that mama has to go to work, J gets to go to school, and mama always comes back and gets J and gives him hugs and kisses. And he's been doing really well for a while. I can't remember the last time we had a howling throwdown - a couple of whines from time to time, but not a screaming fit. Well, today we had the full-out screaming fit. As soon as we walked in, he started hanging onto my legs, saying, "mama, up, up." I told him mama had to go to work, that I'd get him some milk. He was fine when I walked away for milk, but when I came back, he started the "up, up" routine again. I told him again that mama had to go to work, but that I loved him and I'd be back this afternoon, and I started walking toward the door. I hadn't gotten halfway across the gym when I heard wailing and running feet - he'd lit out after me. *SIGH* So I turned around to give him a hug and kiss, and here went the "up, up" routine again - he glues himself to my legs and looks up at me with the most piteous expression. I hugged and kissed him and told him again that I'd be back this afternoon, and I left. The door closed on the sound of my child screaming for his mama. UGH. I wanted to sit in the car and just cry. I'm not sure why the regression, I just know that it absolutely breaks my heart to leave him like that. Damn the need to bring home a paycheck, days like that I just want to stay with my son, even if we have to live in a box under a bridge somewhere.
(Realistically I don't mean that - I know life would be very, very hard indeed if I didn't work. But some days I wish I could tell the work world to go hang and stay home with my baby boy.)
Then I had a lap-band moment on the way to work - meaning, something hung up and didn't want to go down. I'm thinking it was the huge Augmentin pills I'm trying to finish off, because I hadn't eaten very much at all. When something hangs up in the band and won't go down, it hurts - sometimes it hurts a lot, and today was one of those times. And it doesn't stop hurting unless whatever's hung up either goes down or comes back up. So here I was driving through some of the less-than-nice parts of Dallas on my way to work, hurting like a son of a bitch, and wondering if this thing would just pass or if I'd have to find some relatively safe-looking place to pull over and hurl. Mmm, fun. (That's the function of the lap-band - my own personal food police, to keep me from eating more than I should.) Finally, after about 15 minutes of pain, whatever was hung up went down, and I felt better. Now I'm starving but scared to eat, and yet the thought of a day filled with only protein shakes isn't appealing at all. Not sure yet what I'll do about that.
And then, back at work after a half day off on Friday, I find no less than 28 things in my inbox, all requiring my attention. Then there have been a couple of other crises that have popped up, so I'm running like a crazy woman. Calgon, take me away....
This day has sucked rocks so far. Can I just go home, go back to bed, and have a redo?
And J is just so very, very TWO. Meltdowns with minimal or no provocation, constant repetition of limits that you know he understands, and the ever-present "no" (I seriously think he says "no" just to hear himself say it, not because he really means it). It's very draining. Supposedly little girls are calmer and more obedient at this age, and the trade-off is that teenage boys are generally easier to deal with. But Lord have mercy, the preschool years may kill me off first. Now I understand why one of my girlfriends was constantly riding herd on her two boys - she had to! And friends with children tell me three is worse. OY. I love my son, I'd do anything for him, I wouldn't trade him for the world, but boy howdy, being a parent sure is hard work.
This day hasn't started off so great, either. Three meltdowns from J this morning - one over turning the TV off when it was time to go, although we'd discussed several times the point at which the video would have to be turned off; one over leaving his dump truck in mama's truck, although he understands that he may lose toys if he takes them to school and is generally quite good about leaving things without a fuss; and the screaming-banshee impression at daycare drop-off. The third one really upset me. We'd been doing so well with that - J and I have talked about the fact that mama has to go to work, J gets to go to school, and mama always comes back and gets J and gives him hugs and kisses. And he's been doing really well for a while. I can't remember the last time we had a howling throwdown - a couple of whines from time to time, but not a screaming fit. Well, today we had the full-out screaming fit. As soon as we walked in, he started hanging onto my legs, saying, "mama, up, up." I told him mama had to go to work, that I'd get him some milk. He was fine when I walked away for milk, but when I came back, he started the "up, up" routine again. I told him again that mama had to go to work, but that I loved him and I'd be back this afternoon, and I started walking toward the door. I hadn't gotten halfway across the gym when I heard wailing and running feet - he'd lit out after me. *SIGH* So I turned around to give him a hug and kiss, and here went the "up, up" routine again - he glues himself to my legs and looks up at me with the most piteous expression. I hugged and kissed him and told him again that I'd be back this afternoon, and I left. The door closed on the sound of my child screaming for his mama. UGH. I wanted to sit in the car and just cry. I'm not sure why the regression, I just know that it absolutely breaks my heart to leave him like that. Damn the need to bring home a paycheck, days like that I just want to stay with my son, even if we have to live in a box under a bridge somewhere.
(Realistically I don't mean that - I know life would be very, very hard indeed if I didn't work. But some days I wish I could tell the work world to go hang and stay home with my baby boy.)
Then I had a lap-band moment on the way to work - meaning, something hung up and didn't want to go down. I'm thinking it was the huge Augmentin pills I'm trying to finish off, because I hadn't eaten very much at all. When something hangs up in the band and won't go down, it hurts - sometimes it hurts a lot, and today was one of those times. And it doesn't stop hurting unless whatever's hung up either goes down or comes back up. So here I was driving through some of the less-than-nice parts of Dallas on my way to work, hurting like a son of a bitch, and wondering if this thing would just pass or if I'd have to find some relatively safe-looking place to pull over and hurl. Mmm, fun. (That's the function of the lap-band - my own personal food police, to keep me from eating more than I should.) Finally, after about 15 minutes of pain, whatever was hung up went down, and I felt better. Now I'm starving but scared to eat, and yet the thought of a day filled with only protein shakes isn't appealing at all. Not sure yet what I'll do about that.
And then, back at work after a half day off on Friday, I find no less than 28 things in my inbox, all requiring my attention. Then there have been a couple of other crises that have popped up, so I'm running like a crazy woman. Calgon, take me away....
This day has sucked rocks so far. Can I just go home, go back to bed, and have a redo?
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Mommy Madness
Boy, did this hit home. I can relate - I was raised to be self-sufficient and independent, and my parents certainly never even considered any possibility other than me going to college, getting at least one degree, and kicking ass in the working world. They never said, "you can't do that, you're a girl." I *was* raised to think I could do it all, although there were times when I was younger that I just didn't think I'd ever have children. And now? There are days that doing it all - or trying to - really takes its toll. I think that in some ways, the feminist movement did more harm than good, by promoting that very idea, that women can do it all. Not that it hasn't done some good - women should get comparable pay for doing comparable work to me, women should be able to go into any career field they choose, and all that good stuff. But the pendulum has, to some extent, swung so that being a stay-at-home mother and wife has fallen out of favor, and women are made to feel like they're wasting their talents if they choose to do that. I think that's just sad. We try to do everything and end up not being very good at any of it because we're just spread too thin.
Fun with the J-man
I'm not sure what was in the air Tuesday night, but J had a flaming thermonuclear meltdown in the driveway after we got home. On the way home, we'd been talking about the moon and how you'd need a really tall ladder to get it down. J informed me that if he got it, he'd keep it and put it in his toy box. Anyway, he's just fascinated with the moon, has been for a while, but never like tonight. We stood in the driveway for a bit and looked at the moon, and that was fine. But when the suggestion was made that it might be time to go in and have dinner, you'd have thought J had learned there was no Santa, no Easter bunny, and that he was never having a birthday party again, the fit he threw. He was screaming, "nooooooo, stay outside!" and *running* away from me. My child was literally howling at the moon - great, I've given birth to a little baby werewolf. Once we were finally inside, J proceeded to prostrate himself by the door and scream that he wanted to go outside. He screamed at everything and nothing would settle him down. Finally, finally I convinced him to come into the laundry room with me, and I showed him that we could look out the window there and see the moon in the sky. He said, "Goodnight moon, night-night time" and walked away, problem solved. A good twenty minutes of emotional upheaval, and it was over in seconds. AARGH. This is what frustrates me so about my baby boy, that emotional nature. It makes no sense to practical, logical me.
But in other news: He and I were in the bed Tuesday night, reading his books. I read his Thomas' ABC Book to him, and as I was picking up another book, he said, "Read Thomas book." I said, no, we've already read that one, and he told me, "No, J read it." And he took his book and proceeded to open it to the first page and read it. "A is for all aboard, all aboard calls Thomas the Tank Engine. B for Bertie the Bus, Bertie is Thomas's friend, beep beep." He'd tell me word for word what was on the page. I realize that at this point a lot of it is memorization (although he's memorized so many books, that's pretty amazing in and of itself), but he knew what page he was on. If he skipped a page, he'd either go back to where he should have been or he'd read what was on the page he was looking at, instead of just parroting what he'd memorized as coming next. I could have just cried, I was so proud of him. My super-smart baby boy!!! I was reading at age 3, maybe he will be, too.
But in other news: He and I were in the bed Tuesday night, reading his books. I read his Thomas' ABC Book to him, and as I was picking up another book, he said, "Read Thomas book." I said, no, we've already read that one, and he told me, "No, J read it." And he took his book and proceeded to open it to the first page and read it. "A is for all aboard, all aboard calls Thomas the Tank Engine. B for Bertie the Bus, Bertie is Thomas's friend, beep beep." He'd tell me word for word what was on the page. I realize that at this point a lot of it is memorization (although he's memorized so many books, that's pretty amazing in and of itself), but he knew what page he was on. If he skipped a page, he'd either go back to where he should have been or he'd read what was on the page he was looking at, instead of just parroting what he'd memorized as coming next. I could have just cried, I was so proud of him. My super-smart baby boy!!! I was reading at age 3, maybe he will be, too.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Wanting more
This post in The Odd Wife's blog got me to thinking. I don't think K and I have ever had what she describes herself and EH as having. I think K and I were best friends, and at one time that was sufficient. Heck, I still consider K a friend, and I reckon I always will - after all that's happened, I really can't think of anything that could come up that would make me tell him, "I can't stand the sight of you, go away, I don't ever want to see you ever again". But it seems to me that if what we had was anything close to what The Odd Wife describes, then he wouldn't, at some point, have found himself looking elsewhere to find that "sparkle", that thrill of discovery with someone new. It's just unfortunate that it took us ten years and having a child to figure this out, and it's unfortunate that now our child will have to live with the effects of his parents splitting up. But is it wrong to want, to hope for, a love like that? Because I do.
It sure feels like a Monday
I had yesterday off, but I don't feel rested. And I'm swamped at work. AND it's supposed to get cold and rainy this week, after being in the 80's and positively springlike for the past couple of days. YUCK. I hate winter, I will never live somewhere where it gets *really* cold and where they have an actual winter. I'm a Southern girl, I've lived down here my whole life, and my blood is just too thin to live somewhere with real winter. Yes, we have 100+ degree days for weeks on end sometimes in the summer, but that's what air conditioning and covered parking are for. I'll take the hot, thanks.
Not too much exciting happened over the weekend - no naps for the J-man, some cleaning, a trip or two to Target (J got a train, and we've talked before about not opening things until we pay for them - he understands that, and as soon as we got in the car, he handed me the package with his train and said, "Mama, unlemp (his word for unwrap) Henry (the train) RIGHT NOW!" Bossy little man. LOLOL).
I did talk to the loan officer yesterday. She told me what information she'll need (tax info, pay stubs, plus a $325 check to do an appraisal - UGH), and said it will take about three weeks to process once they've got all the paperwork. AARGH!!!!!!!!!! I guess it's just frustrating, finally seeing a light at the end of the financial tunnel, being so close to sorting things out so that maybe K and I can make some progress on disentangling our lives, and being told, oh wait, we need more info and then you have to wait some more. You might think, but this has been going on for almost two years, what's a few more weeks? That's just it - it's been going on for almost two years, and to be so tantalizingly close and yet not be there just about makes me want to crawl out of my skin with frustration. AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow night is my second late night in less than a week. Feh. Not looking forward to that. But then I won't have another late night until March - the 23rd, I think.
And on a happy note, I'm getting my piano tuned on Friday! Yay!!!!! That's J's belated Valentine's gift to his mama. :-) I've had this piano since I first started taking lessons at age 7, so it's almost 30 years old now. It's been several years since I've had it tuned, and I can really hear it when I play. I'm so very, very glad to be getting this done, I just can't wait!!!
Now, back to the regularly scheduled daily grind and the dilemma of what to have for lunch....
Not too much exciting happened over the weekend - no naps for the J-man, some cleaning, a trip or two to Target (J got a train, and we've talked before about not opening things until we pay for them - he understands that, and as soon as we got in the car, he handed me the package with his train and said, "Mama, unlemp (his word for unwrap) Henry (the train) RIGHT NOW!" Bossy little man. LOLOL).
I did talk to the loan officer yesterday. She told me what information she'll need (tax info, pay stubs, plus a $325 check to do an appraisal - UGH), and said it will take about three weeks to process once they've got all the paperwork. AARGH!!!!!!!!!! I guess it's just frustrating, finally seeing a light at the end of the financial tunnel, being so close to sorting things out so that maybe K and I can make some progress on disentangling our lives, and being told, oh wait, we need more info and then you have to wait some more. You might think, but this has been going on for almost two years, what's a few more weeks? That's just it - it's been going on for almost two years, and to be so tantalizingly close and yet not be there just about makes me want to crawl out of my skin with frustration. AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow night is my second late night in less than a week. Feh. Not looking forward to that. But then I won't have another late night until March - the 23rd, I think.
And on a happy note, I'm getting my piano tuned on Friday! Yay!!!!! That's J's belated Valentine's gift to his mama. :-) I've had this piano since I first started taking lessons at age 7, so it's almost 30 years old now. It's been several years since I've had it tuned, and I can really hear it when I play. I'm so very, very glad to be getting this done, I just can't wait!!!
Now, back to the regularly scheduled daily grind and the dilemma of what to have for lunch....
Friday, February 18, 2005
Today's fortune cookie
"Important events are in your future."
Well! That could be nice.
And add "in bed"? Now THAT makes it downright INTERESTING! Tee hee....
Well! That could be nice.
And add "in bed"? Now THAT makes it downright INTERESTING! Tee hee....
Just a quick post...
Gee, I just realized I haven't even looked at my blog today, much less written anything! That could be because there's nothing particularly earth-shattering to write about.
I'm still at work - time for my monthly phone servitude. And oh, joy, since tonight was a swap for my scheduled January night, I get to do this again next Wednesday. Hooray. I hate phone time. Thankfully, I'll be done, at least for tonight, in about five minutes.
Went to the doc yesterday - surprise, surprise, I've got a sinus infection. She loaded me up with some monstrously big Augmentin pills, and told me to keep taking OTC stuff for pain and congestion. I feel OK today, I'm just tired of blowing my nose every thirty seconds. Enough already, don't I run out of snot eventually?!
No big plans for the weekend. Tomorrow is library day with J - if they have good displays (meaning something with trucks, trains or things that go), he likes it. And he likes to play in the birdbath outside the library. So that should be fun.
And Monday's a holiday, woo hoo!!! A holiday when daycare is open, double WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! Mental health day for mama!!! :) And hopefully some good news on the home equity loan.
I think it's time to shut things down here. It's close enough to 7:00 that I'm going to take off.
I'm still at work - time for my monthly phone servitude. And oh, joy, since tonight was a swap for my scheduled January night, I get to do this again next Wednesday. Hooray. I hate phone time. Thankfully, I'll be done, at least for tonight, in about five minutes.
Went to the doc yesterday - surprise, surprise, I've got a sinus infection. She loaded me up with some monstrously big Augmentin pills, and told me to keep taking OTC stuff for pain and congestion. I feel OK today, I'm just tired of blowing my nose every thirty seconds. Enough already, don't I run out of snot eventually?!
No big plans for the weekend. Tomorrow is library day with J - if they have good displays (meaning something with trucks, trains or things that go), he likes it. And he likes to play in the birdbath outside the library. So that should be fun.
And Monday's a holiday, woo hoo!!! A holiday when daycare is open, double WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! Mental health day for mama!!! :) And hopefully some good news on the home equity loan.
I think it's time to shut things down here. It's close enough to 7:00 that I'm going to take off.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Cautiously optimistic
Well, blogfans, it looks like 2005 might start to improve after all. I checked into refinancing the house, and it looks like there's an approval for enough to pay off the existing house note (foolishly obtained several years ago in an effort to consolidate credit card debt, which K and I then promptly ran back up), my car, K's car, the rest of his existing credit card debt, all the taxes, all my professional dues and taxes (which are legion - it's expensive to be a lawyer! LOL), have enough for a new computer, a new mattress (which I DESPERATELY need), some home repairs and car maintenance that need to be tended to, and still have a good bit to go in savings. All this, and the payment on the new home equity loan will be $200 less than what I'm currently paying on the existing house note and my car. And the beauty is, I won't be running up new debt. I haven't had credit cards for almost a year, I know I can do just fine without them. I don't plan to get a new car or new house, I like the ones I have. This will allow me to actually pay things off, get caught up on all my little piddly stuff that keeps getting put on the back burner, and maybe actually SAVE some money for my retirement and J's future. And with K's things being paid off, that frees up money for him to help out with daycare costs and things for J. :) Of course, I get this e-mail last night, and the woman I've been working with says at the end of the e-mail that she's out of the office until Monday, 2/21, at a sales convention. AACK. But I'm cautiously optimistic that maybe things will begin to turn around if this really goes through (I won't believe it until I have cash in hand!).
Other than that, it's just a day. I feel much better, my face no longer hurts and I can actually breathe out of my nose on occasion. I'm still going to the doctor today, though - the goo is still green, so I guess I'd better get on with the antibiotics and get better. This means I get to leave work early, woo hoo!!! :)
So maybe things are looking up. It's about time.
Other than that, it's just a day. I feel much better, my face no longer hurts and I can actually breathe out of my nose on occasion. I'm still going to the doctor today, though - the goo is still green, so I guess I'd better get on with the antibiotics and get better. This means I get to leave work early, woo hoo!!! :)
So maybe things are looking up. It's about time.
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