Sunday, January 29, 2006

Can I just trade in my head for a new one?

I feel like hammered shit. The crud is back in full force - my head is full of green gunk, I can't breathe out of my nose, and I can't stop coughing. UGH. I guess I'll try to see the doctor tomorrow. You read so much about bacteria becoming resistant to antibiotics, I'm almost hesitant to go that route. But then on the other hand, I've been fighting this mess for a month now, and it's not going away. If I wait for it to run its course, I'll be sick until sometime this summer. Hopefully she can help. If I could just breathe through my nose and stop this infernal coughing, I could manage. No fever, at least, so there's that to be thankful for.

J is pretty boogered up, too. I'm thinking it's time to break out the humidifier so he can breathe (and hopefully sleep) better. The humidifier is a pain in the ass, but if it helps, it will be worth the effort.

K went out of town this weekend with the woman he's been seeing. The fact that he's with someone else doesn't bother me. What I'm (still) jealous of is that it's so much easier for him to make plans than it is for me. Oh, hell, I'm jealous because it seems like this whole thing is easier on him, for the most part. He moves his stuff into a nice clean apartment and gets it set up like he wants it. He can keep his house clean because 12 days out of 14, it's just him there. No little human hurricane to try to pick up after (and J is fanatic about picking up bath toys, but couldn't care less about the rest of the house - I have to resort to threats to get help there, someone explain that to me). He goes home, he sleeps where it's quiet (except for the upstairs neighbors walking around) - no 3 AM wake-up call for bad dreams or wet pants or just because. Maybe I'm just a whiner, I don't know.

J moved up to the next class at Little Gym yesterday, the Funny Bugs. This is the first class where parents don't go in with the children, and instead of so much free play, there's more structure - they have group activities, then break into smaller groups and rotate among different stations to learn different skills. Well, that went over about like a lead balloon with J. I told him I'd go into the gym and sit by the door, so he could see me, and I told him to go see the teachers and sit with the other kids (he knows all the teachers there, so it wasn't like they were strangers to him, and one little girl from his old class has moved up, too). Oh, no, that wouldn't do. He howled and cried and wanted me to go run and play with him. I said no, this is the big kid class, I'll be right here where you can see me, but you can go on and play and learn without me right next to you. So he carried on for a while, then told me to go outside and sit in a chair (they have big glass windows between the gym and the waiting areas, and chairs are in the waiting area) and he'd stay and play. That lasted about ten seconds - then he was running out to get me, wanting me to run and play, and howling the whole time I told him I wasn't going to do that. He was all excited about the concept of the big kid class, but in reality, he wasn't thrilled. But at least he stayed in the class most of the time, and the teachers said this is normal, that it takes a little while to adjust. So in a couple of weeks I'm sure he'll be pushing me out the door.

Well, time to go try to clean up the disaster that is my house. More later.

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