What are they teaching our kids at school?!

At Julian's school, I know they talk a lot about nutrition and healthy food choices. They talk about go foods (things you can eat pretty much all the time), slow foods (things you can eat in moderation), and whoa foods (things you should eat very occasionally or sparingly). In theory, I'm good with this. I try to teach my kids how to choose wisely when they're eating, that fruits and vegetables are good and important for us to eat, and that it's not good for them to live on junk food or drink soda every single day. I want them to be strong and healthy, and I know a good diet is an important part of that. (I use the word "diet" here in the sense of what they eat, not in the sense of a restricted calorie eating plan. You shouldn't have to worry about that kind of diet when your oldest is just 8.)

But I wonder if perhaps this message isn't being taken a little bit too far at too young of an age. Julian has gotten very interested with looking at labels to see how much fat and sugar and calories something has, almost to the point of obsession. He seems to equate "sugar-free" and "zero calories" and "fat-free" with "healthy", not realizing that artificial sweeteners and whatever's put into the food to add flavor when the fat is taken out aren't necessarily any better for you than sugars and fats in moderation. (And not realizing that your body needs a certain amount of good fats to function properly.)

Take today, for instance. We went to the grocery store to get prescriptions filled, and while we waited, we picked up a few odds and ends. We were looking at the canned fruit, and I went to get a can of pears (something Julian normally likes, and something we're introducing to Rhys). Julian latched onto the can that said "made with Splenda" on the label, saying that he liked that one. I said no, let's get one made with pear juice, one that doesn't use artificial sweeteners. He just about threw a tantrum over those pears, insisting that the ones with Splenda were better because they had less sugar. I said, so you'd rather have one that uses fake sugar over one that uses the actual juice from the pear? He persisted in saying he would, because it has less calories. Later on, he saw a "sugar-free" label on something else and made a comment that that means it's healthy. Um, no, that doesn't necessarily follow. I'm trying to teach him that it's OK to eat things made with real sugar and real butter, just in moderation. If you want a cookie, have one made with real sugar instead of six that are sugar-free. If you want butter on your toast, have a little. I don't want him obsessing over calories and body image - not ever, and certainly not at 8 years old.

I know there are probably kids who hear the same things he hears at school and don't get the least bit hung up on it, and don't take to reading labels fanatically, but he's mine, and he is hung up on it, and he's the one I have to worry about. I may have to check to see just exactly what they're learning on this topic. Promoting good nutrition and offering healthier school lunches is one thing. Pushing some kind of agenda in the guise of good nutrition, if that's what's happening, would be something else entirely.

Happy eighth birthday, sweet boy!

I'm a day late posting - I just didn't get a chance to sit down and blog yesterday. But eight years ago yesterday, Super J came into the world and changed my life forever. I love you, J - on your birth day, the one who got the gift was me, and you were that gift.

It's a start

I mentioned that we finally got an official diagnosis for J. He's been diagnosed with ADHD (hyperactive and inattentive), dysgraphia, and delays in motor skills. I knew he struggled too much with handwriting for there not to be something there. I felt like the evaluation was very thorough, and gave us a lot of recommendations for school and for home.

We had our 504 meeting with the school this morning. Some of the accommodations, the teacher has already been doing, simply because she realized J needed them. I thought it went pretty well, although they aren't doing anything to address the dysgraphia - we're going to have to look outside the school system for occupational therapy for that. I see now why some parents who have kids with any kind of special need decide to homeschool their children. This just consumes your thoughts, and I know I find myself thinking that I don't want to be at work dealing with things to make someone else happy, I want to be doing something to help my child.

Wish me luck!

Tomorrow at 11:00 I have a second interview for a different position at my current workplace. It's one I'm very much interested in, although I waffle between thinking, "wow, this would be the coolest job EVER!" and "oh boy, am I sure I can handle this if I get the job?" It would be a pretty big change. So if anyone reading this can spare a prayer or a good thought at 11:00 Central time tomorrow, it would be much appreciated! I'm not really nervous yet - that may come in the morning.

In other news: Rhys is working on a second tooth, doing well with solid foods and SO.CLOSE to rolling over consistently. He did it once and looked really surprised as to how he'd done it. There's a little music-and-lights thingamabob on the side of his crib, and when he wakes up during the night, we'll find him trying to roll over and grab it. I have a feeling he'll be up and running much sooner than Julian was, and once he is, look out.

Julian has made it through the first six weeks of school. Report cards come home on Friday, but I think he's done fairly well. We're still waiting to hear from the Child Study Center about an evaluation.

And now, for once, both boys are asleep by 10:00, so I think I'll take my happy self to bed while I have the chance and before anyone needs my attention!

A tiny little update

Rhys is five months old today! Happy five months, baby boy! I didn't even get a chance to take a picture, because he was falling asleep before we even got home this evening. He sacked out around 6:30 tonight. I expect he'll be awake and hungry before midnight. Anyway, he's had his four-month checkup, and at that appointment, he weighed 19 pounds 1 ounce and was 26 1/2 inches long. He's growing like mad.

We also have our first tooth! He's been drooling and gnawing on his hands like crazy for weeks now, and a couple of days ago, Brian saw the little white spots on his gum. The bottom right front tooth is working its way through the skin. No more gummy grins (and yay for a tooth, but it makes me just a little wistful and sad that the gummy grins are going away)!

Julian is muddling through second grade. It's a struggle for him, and it's hard for me to see him struggling. We're getting our paperwork together to send to the Child Study Center in Fort Worth, and hopefully they'll be able to see us fairly soon for an evaluation. I'm anxious to see if it's just ADHD we're dealing with, or if there's something else going on, and either way, I'm anxious to find out how best to help him survive and thrive in school and in life.

And for our daily dose of "awwwwwww" - the boys were in the back seat on our way home this afternoon. Julian was telling Rhys, "I got your finger, I got it, what are you going to do now?", and Rhys just laughed and laughed. There is nothing sweeter than the sound of my boys laughing, and in that moment, I could forget all the rotten things that might have happened during the day and truly thank God for my blessings - you know, the ones sitting in the back seat laughing.

Catching up

Since I'm up before the alarm clock went off, I thought I'd try to catch up a bit!

Let's see, what all has happened since last I blogged?

Julian is now seven years old.



We didn't have a big party this year - he didn't really seem interested like he has in years past. We just went out to dinner and let him pick the restaurant (he opted for Italian). We had a birthday cake at home - Star Wars, one of his favorites:



He got lots of presents from us, and from his dad, and from grandparents. It was a low-key day, but a good one. Happy seventh birthday, my big boy!

Rhys is now three months old:



He'd gotten to where he was sleeping nine hours at a stretch, but a bout with worse-than-usual congestion knocked that right out of whack, and he was waking up every hour to two hours there for a few days. That was no fun, let me tell you. Last night he slept for over eight hours, though, so I'm hopeful that we're moving back toward that nice long stretch of sleep. He's not a chatty baby - he doesn't make a lot of cooing and gurgling sounds, although he does make them. But he laughs. Not a big belly laugh yet, but if I do something that entertains him, he'll go, "ha!" and just get a big ol' grin on his face. (I've discovered that he finds chicken noises the height of hilarity.) I love baby laughs. When he went to the doctor for the congestion, he weighed in at 16 pounds, 13 ounces. He's outgrowing his clothes at a record rate. I can't even think of buying fall/winter clothes yet, because I have no idea what size he'll be!

I went back to work on July 10. Apparently I was missed, which is always a good thing. (I'm hoping the fact that people came to appreciate me in my absence might translate itself into some kind of raise this year, but given the industry I work in, I'm not counting on it.) It hasn't been terrible being back, although it makes me really sad to think that I'll likely never have a long stretch of time off to spend with the boys again.

Julian is now going to summer camp, and Rhys is in daycare. They're both at the same place, which makes drop-off and pick-up easier. I try not to think too hard about the fact that Rhys is in someone else's care for nearly half of every day. If I were to let myself think about it, I'd just cry. It's not quite so hard with Julian, because he's school-age and would be in school for a big chunk of the day even if I were home. But Rhys could be home with me, if only I could be home. I struggle with this a lot, even knowing that I'm not sure I'm temperamentally cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. I hate that my kids are and will be pushed into being somewhere and doing something on all their school breaks. I hate thinking that they won't get summers like I used to have as a kid, where you didn't have to be in a rush to get up and get moving so mama could drop you off at day camp on her way to the office, where you could sleep in if you wanted and where you didn't have to do anything in particular if you didn't feel like it. I want that for my kids, and I don't think it will ever happen, and that makes me sad.

And now that I'm all maudlin this morning, let me finish this up and go get dressed for work. So begins another day in the rat race.

Birthday party planning

Thanks to those of you who posted comments on my last post - I'm sorry there are others out there struggling with financial woes, but in some way, it helps knowing we aren't alone. And it helps, too, knowing I'm not the only one who struggles with really letting go and trusting God to work.

Birthday party thoughts: We're trying to think of money-saving ideas for Julian's party this year. It will be after I've gone to work and we've started paying through the nose for summer camp and daycare, so it's not like we'll be flush with cash. We'd thought of getting a five-pack of tickets to a local water park (which costs about $105 and includes food and unlimited drinks) for me, Brian, Julian and two of his friends, and making it something small that he could enjoy, rather than a big to-do at Pump It Up or Chuck E. Cheese or whatever. (As an added bonus, this way we wouldn't get a ton of presents from his friends that often just get overlooked in the mess of toys around here.) I mentioned this to J's dad, and he said he was sure Julian would be glad to have his four stepsiblings there. I wanted to ask him, "Um, are you planning on buying their tickets?" Because I wasn't planning on 1) having J's stepsiblings as the only party guests (if his dad is thinking the five tickets are for five kids total, instead of for the two s and three kids we'd thought of), or 2) shelling out a good bit extra for tickets and food for four more guests (if I'm paying that much, I might as well go to Pump It Up). Not sure how exactly I'll address this with his dad, especially as I know Julian will be invited to the joint party for his three younger stepsiblings (who all have July birthdays).

And along those lines, if we do go with the water park idea, would it be tacky to put a note in the invitation to this effect for parents: "We will be meeting at the front gate at such-and-such time. You are welcome to drop your child off and return at such-and-such time, when we will be at the front gate preparing to leave, or if you would like to attend with your child, you are welcome to purchase your own ticket." I have no problem with parents either dropping off or coming with, but I wouldn't want parents to think we were paying for their tickets. That would REALLY get expensive in a hurry, even if it were only for two or three parents.

Our garden and other weekend fun

Yesterday was a big day. I needed to get a taillight and headlight replaced on my car, and I'd called the Kia dealership for an estimate, but the dealership is far away and our local Kwik Kar is, well, local. So we dropped the car off there. Not only did they have it fixed within the hour (before we finished running errands), but they also fixed both the headlight and the taillight for less than the price that the dealership had quoted me to repair just the headlight. I love it when things work out like that!

We ran up to Dallas to pick up some firewood (found it free on Craigslist - if you haven't gotten into the habit of checking out your local Craigslist, I highly recommend it, you can find a ton of good stuff for free or cheap if you just keep an eye out). Then we went to Home Depot to pick up the rest of our supplies for our square foot garden. By that time, it was lunchtime and we were hungry, so we went to Chapps Cafe for a hamburger. It looks to be largely a north Texas thing, but if you're ever in the area, it's worth finding one and giving it a try. I love Chapps - I give them full credit for convincing my son that there are better chicken strips to be had than Chicken McNuggets! LOL Any restaurant that he'll choose over McDonald's gets high marks from me, and they make a fine hamburger to boot.

After lunch, it was home to garden! Brian had already made our garden box and the square foot grid for it, so all he had to do was mix up our dirt, put it in the box, and then we were ready to plant.

Here's our box with dirt in it, waiting for good things to grow there:



Here's our box with plants and seeds:



We're growing two kinds of lettuces (Bibb and a salad mix), four kinds of peppers (mild jalapeno, hot garden salsa, orange bell, and Cubanelle), two kinds of tomatoes (Roma and Celebrity), yellow squash, zucchini, sugar snap peas, green beans, golden beets, onions (two squares), and cucumbers. I hope our little garden does well! Brian also got really motivated and built a compost bin yesterday.

And today we gave church a miss. Brian woke up running fever, with a head full of multicolored snot, and basically feeling like a train hit him. Bless his heart, he looks awful. I've been puny for the past few days, and I'm still not 100%, but I'm doing better at this point than he is. He's been sleeping for most of the day.

I think most of my problem is allergies. When Julian and I went out to the store this afternoon, I realized my car was just yellow from the pollen. Ugh. Only a month until I can take my Allegra, only a month until I can take my Allegra....

In other fun, Julian is out of his Vyvanse. He's happy as can be, but Lord have mercy, he's wearing me out. When we went to get a refill on Saturday, the pharmacist said he couldn't fill it due to errors on the prescription form and due to the date of the prescription being written incorrectly and then marked over to change it. We're hoping to pick up a new prescription on Monday and get it filled Monday evening, so Julian should be back on the Vyvanse by Tuesday. I'm just vexed that the doctor's office wrote the prescription out with errors, and vexed with myself for waiting until the last minute to get a new one, and vexed that this is a prescription that they just will not call in - we have to go by and pick up the written form every month. School should be interesting tomorrow. I just hope he doesn't have a completely rotten day, because if he does, it won't be like it's entirely bad behavior on his part. We'll see.

Earth mother

You know, I don't think I'm really suited for corporate America. I grew up in the country, and I like being outside when I've got something to do there. Now that I'm married to a man who also likes the outdoors, we're doing some more outdoorsy-type things. He's planted a couple of trees in the yard, a red oak and a fig, and we're watching them grow. I was out watering them today and it occurred to me that I'd be much happier if I weren't having to schlep to work in the big city, if I could do something from home and tend to our growing things (kids and trees alike). We're planting a garden this year, too, and that will be both food and science experiment - Julian is already excited about the prospect of watching our plants grow (although we'll see how excited he is when he gets to go out and pull weeds! LOL). I like to cook. I like to be outside when I get a chance. Why, then, can't I figure out some way that I could be home doing the things I like more often, instead of sitting behind a desk wishing nine hours of my life away every day?

In other news, I'm now 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. My c-section has been moved to April 17, so I'll be able to make it to J's school program on April 16. This makes me happy. I didn't figure it would be a real good start to his relationship with his brother for me to have to tell him, "sorry, sweetie, I'll miss your program and art show because I'll be in the hospital bringing your brother into the world!" I know the time will come where he'll have to learn that mama will now be dividing time and attention between two boys instead of giving it all to just the one, but I didn't figure right off the bat was the time he *had* to learn that particular lesson.

I've been home sick the past couple of days. I don't know if it's a cold or a sinus infection - the doctor said it was too early to tell, and I can't really take much in the way of good meds, so I've just been drinking lots of fluids and trying to rest. Julian stayed home with me today, too. I figured we could both use a rest. Of course, the day we *could* sleep in, naturally he was awake at the crack of dawn, wanting to know when I was going to get out of bed. Still, it beats being at the office. I don't feel great just yet, but I guess I feel better than I did yesterday. I'm not perky, but I'm not sure if that's from the crud or just from being hugely pregnant.

Well, good grief.

Nearly a month since I've blogged. That just won't do. The problem that needed money thrown at it got resolved, and hopefully will be fine going forward. J's sleep issues have gotten a bit better, but now I'm to the point in my pregnancy where I wake up a zillion times a night to go to the bathroom or change positions or just for the heck of it, so I'm still not getting any decent sleep most nights.

And the baby has a name and a birthdate! His name will be Rhys Daniel, and his birthday will be April 16 - my c-section is scheduled for 7:30 AM, so barring some emergency that morning, I'll be first up for the day. I like that. Of course, I had a co-worker tell me this week that she doesn't think I'll make it to April 16. Not sure why she thinks that - I'm not that big (other co-workers have only recently started to comment on me having a belly, to which I think, well, gee, I'm only 32 weeks and change, I should look pregnant by now!), and Julian certainly didn't come out until the doctor made him come out, so I've got zero reason to think Rhys will come early. We'll see, I guess.

Brian's mom came this week - the two of them painted the nursery on Thursday (and it looks amazing! I'm now wanting to paint every room in my house! LOL), and she and I cleaned (REALLY cleaned) the kitchen and guest bathroom yesterday. I was wiped right out. Good thing I took the day off work yesterday, as just the act of getting to and from work and making it through the day (even with a desk job) seems to suck all of the energy right out of me. I want my pregnancy to be as healthy as possible, but right now, if my doc were to tell me I had to be home for a few weeks before Rhys gets here, I wouldn't be averse to that at all. I just feel better when I'm at home, even if I'm more physically active.

And it could happen that he'll tell me to stay home. A few days before my last appointment, I checked my blood pressure using a co-worker's monitor that she keeps at the office. It was 156/95. Yikes. With Julian, my blood pressure jumped up at about 36 1/2 weeks to the point where my doc did tell me to stop working and rest at home (not full-out bedrest, but he made it clear I wasn't to do much of anything strenuous). So I saw that reading and thought, well, crap, here we go again. Only it was a good bit earlier than 36 1/2 weeks. I called the doc's office, and the nurse said I'd be OK monitoring it as long as I wasn't having headaches or vision changes (which I wasn't). So I got my own monitor and went in for my appointment the following Tuesday. Every time I checked before that appointment, and every time I've checked since then, it's been fine - the highest has been something like 132/83, and it's been as low as 116/74. My doc told me to just keep an eye on it and make notes of my readings for my chart, and we'll see what happens. So far, so good. But like I said, some days I'd welcome two or three or four weeks at home before the baby gets here (assuming it wasn't a serious issue that kept me from working)! LOL

Brian's job is going well. Such an answer to prayer! He won't technically start earning paid time off until May, but they've already said they've got no problem with him taking a day or two off when the baby is born.

Julian is doing pretty well, too. He just finished up the fourth six weeks of the school year with an S in conduct. Woo hoo! What a change from the early part of the year, when he got notes sent home more often than not. He's doing a lot better academically, too, which just makes my heart happy. He's up to the last first-grade reading level, and right about where he should be in math.

Not having access to my bloggy resources at work, and then having issues trying to get my wireless internet set up at home, has thrown me off with my menu planning. We've still managed to be pretty frugal and not buy a whole lot of groceries and cook using what we have on hand, but it bugs me trying to think of something that day when I know I can do better planning ahead. So I'm trying now to do meal plans for two weeks at a time. I'll be working on that today and tomorrow, and hopefully getting all my coupons in order, too.

My next appointment is this Tuesday - I'm in the every-two-weeks category now. We'll see how things are going then!

Talk about something you wish you could take back!

A pox on whoever came up with printable coloring pages, and a swift kick in the butt for me for ever finding them for Julian. That's all I've heard all day: "Mama, can I print Hot Wheels coloring pages/Ben 10 coloring pages/Monster Jam coloring pages/Transformers coloring pages?" GAH. Santa should bring him a five-pack of printer ink for Christmas.

He got it, he got it!!!!

And I was so excited, I forgot to post here. LOL Brian got the job at Methodist Home!!! I got the message off his voice mail yesterday, and as soon as I hung up, I was on the phone to his boss, telling him to get Brian on the phone ASAP. (His boss knew he was looking and why, and Brian told me to do that if he got a message, so it was OK. LOL ) John was able to get Brian on the radio, so he was able to call Methodist Home and call me in short order. He starts January 5! Woo hoo!!!!! So this is his next to last shift at Lone Star - he'll go back for one more before he starts on the 5th, unless they tell him not to worry about it. The benefits are really good, and the salary is a good bit above what Lone Star has been paying (it's almost as much as he'd be making if he were teaching, so pretty darn good), and that is SUCH a huge blessing. God is so good (as one of my online friends put it, He's an on-time God - this worked out in His time, not ours, and it's all good!). We're still going to be counting our pennies and being frugal, but this will help us so much in getting everything caught up and getting back on track. This is an answered prayer for sure, and the best Christmas present ever! And Brian's birthday is December 28, so I guess this is a pretty darn good birthday present for him, too!

In other good news, Julian continues his streak of stickers. Still only one note for the six weeks, with two weeks left (after the Christmas break)! I told him if he gets all stickers for the rest of the six weeks, we can definitely go to Game Stop and get a Wii game as a treat.

I feel some better, but my head is still stuffed full of snot. It would be such a refreshing change if I could breathe through my nose and get rid of the cough (which is dry and just annoying during the day, and all goopy at night - fun!).

But hey, it's Friday, the sun is out (finally!), and Brian has a new job starting soon - life is good!

Snork.

No word yet. No voice mail, no e-mail, nothing. Hate waiting. Hate it.

Snork. That's the sound my nose makes when I try to breathe through it. It just ain't happening. I started taking my antibiotic last night, and I took some of my lovely cough syrup. I slept decently, which helps, but my head just will.not.unclog. I hate breathing through my mouth. It makes me feel stupid, and it's hard to concentrate on anything when just breathing is an effort. And I don't know how this happens, but the snot migrates from one side to the other. Sometimes it just gets stuck in the middle, so that I can't come close to breathing out of either side of my nose. I need Roto-Rooter to come unclog my sinuses, please.

This morning got off to a rough start. I'd told Julian more than once to get dressed and eat his breakfast, so I wasn't real happy to get out of the shower and find him sitting on the couch, naked, with his clothes next to him, coloring, and his breakfast still untouched. So we had a throwdown over that that resulted in the TV being turned off and markers being put away, and he cried. Yeah, that makes me feel great, to start my day by making my kid cry. I told him that starting now, the very first thing we do when we get up is to get dressed, and he cried over that, saying he didn't want to do the boring stuff first. I told him that we do that first because mornings during the week are about getting to school and work on time, not playing or coloring or watching TV. He was fine by the time I dropped him off at school, and I told him that no matter what, I always love him, even if I don't love the way he's acting sometimes, but still. It wasn't a fun way to start the day.

It doesn't help that it's foggy and gray and chilly and drippy this morning. Traffic was miserable, so I was even later to work than I thought I'd be. And the bad thing (well, one of the bad things) about working in a cube farm with half walls is that there really is no sneaking in unnoticed. Let's hope the day improves from here, shall we?

I really wish I was home today

Wait, wait, wait. Waiting sucks. Brian e-mailed the interviewer to let her know he'd be available by phone until about noon today, and that I'd be checking his e-mail while he's in the field.

It's not icing here anymore, which is nice. Now it's just cold and wet, which isn't so nice. Blech.

I feel like crap. I was up and down all night with the hacking and coughing and nose-blowing, and my head is all clogged up. I called my doctor to see if he could call in some meds for me. If I don't sleep, I'm just useless. I was really wishing I had one sick day left this morning so I could stay home.

On the bright side, I got an e-mail from Julian's teacher this morning saying he was having a really good day. It makes me so happy to see stickers in his folder instead of notes, and to hear him asking me why reading is so easy instead of complaining that school is too hard and there's too much work.

Baby and interview and finances, oh my!

Finally, an update!

Thursday afternoon, I got a call from my doctor's office at about 3:15, just before I was fixing to leave for my u/s. They told me that my OB appointment had gotten scheduled for downtown Dallas (where I usually see my doc), and the u/s had gotten scheduled for the Mesquite office (far enough away that there was no way I could make both in one afternoon when my appointment was at 4:00). They asked if I wanted to reschedule the OB appointment or the u/s, and I said I'd reschedule the appointment, thanks, I wanted the u/s today. Brian was already waiting at the downtown Dallas office, so I had to call and give him directions to Mesquite. Thank goodness for cell phones. But we made it there with no problems, and then it was time for the big u/s!

And we're having a boy!!! The tech said she thought that was the fastest she'd ever seen the pertinent parts. He's just like Julian, only interested in showing off his butt - she had a hard time getting shots of anything other than butt and boy parts. LOL

He did finally give us a couple of other views, though. And he's just as squirmy and wiggly as ever his brother was. Great, looks like I'll have two wild men on my hands. We're excited. Brian is a bit stunned - he said he never expected to have a son. I'm surprised, because I really thought this baby was a girl. Shows you what I know. LOL His mom is relieved - she said she really wouldn't have known what to do with a girl! LOL (She had two sons, and Brian's brother has two sons, and there's Julian, so all boys in the family.)

And then there was Brian's interview! Brian felt like it went really well. Turns out they did pick up on his former connection with Methodist Home while he was teaching in Waco, and the woman he interviewed with went to church with one of Brian's former co-workers at the Dr Pepper Museum, so they talked a lot about people they knew in common. Brian said she only asked him three or four substantive questions, and that they were pretty easy ones, so we're hoping that they've already got him on a short list just from his education and background. Brian let her know he was going to be out in the field starting Wednesday, and she said they're really aiming to have all decisions made and everyone notified by Tuesday. So we're anxiously hoping and praying that the phone rings with good news! It's good that God knows our hearts when we can't find words, because right now the constant prayer running through my mind is something along the lines of, "Oh please oh please oh please oh please." LOL

Our Christmas program was this weekend. Rehearsal Wednesday and Thursday, and performances Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, plus handbells rang for both services yesterday morning. I'm tired! It was fun, though, and I thought the program went really well. I've missed being part of a church family. I'm glad we've found a church we like.

Kevin forgot to give Julian his meds yesterday, so he came home pinging off the walls and we were up until 11:00. Julian woke up in a good mood this morning, though. He was giving everyone hugs - he'd hugged me and Brian and the cat, and then he came back to me and hugged my belly and said, "Let me give the baby a hug, too!" He's a good kid, and I think he'll be a really good big brother.

It's cold and nasty today. Yesterday it was in the 70s, today it's in the high 20s/low 30s with a wind chill in the teens. There's also a possibility of freezing rain, but I doubt it will be enough to do anything other than slow traffic to a crawl. Bummer - I'd love an excuse to stay home tomorrow! I can't imagine living somewhere where it's cold and windy like this all the time. I'd freeze.

I'm feeling a lot better about finances since we went to all cash. It's nice to know that all of our paycheck is going to take care of our obligations, and not being eaten up by overdraft fees at the bank. Yeah, it's kind of a pain sometimes not to have the convenience of online payments or just using a card, and I still worry about getting everything caught up, but it's nice to see how much money we have and to be able to plan what gets paid where, and to see how much we have left for things that are just wants and not necessarily needs. And it's really nice not to get any overdraft notices from the bank! And with cash, we just take our tithe right off the top and put it in our envelope, ready to go to church the next Sunday. I'm hoping that things are going to turn around in 2009, especially if Brian gets the Methodist Home job - they should pay a good bit better than his current job, and they've got really good benefits. I still worry about things getting paid on time and in full and getting everything caught up, but I feel better.

Let's hope 2009 is a year of clean starts and bright new beginnings all around!

Pain and regret

I feel awful. I started having stomach pains on Sunday night. Sunday night and Tuesday night, Phenergan helped and let me sleep. The stomach pain returned last night, and this time Phenergan didn't help. I barely slept, and I'm a raging grump today. The pain is upper abdominal, not lower abdominal like cramping or needing to go to the bathroom, so I worry that something has gone wrong with my lap-band. If that's the case, I don't know what will be done or what could be done, given that I'm pregnant. Curiously, though, the pain only flares up at night (and not every night - it gave Monday night a miss).

And because I felt bad, I was short-tempered with Julian this morning. I explained to him that I really didn't feel good and that's why I was crabby, but still. I feel bad about that. The overdramatic part of me worries, what if this pain is something that requires surgery and something goes horribly wrong, and the last thing Julian remembers me saying to him is fussing for not being ready to get out of the car when we got up to the drop-off point at school? I regret that I couldn't keep a better handle on myself and make my words to Julian this morning kind ones, pain and tiredness notwithstanding.

I just want to feel better, and for the baby and me to both be OK after whatever it takes to help me feel better.

Now here's the kind of note every parent likes to get

I got this e-mail from Julian's teacher this morning:

He has done really well the past two days. He seems really excited about learning, but is staying in his seat and working really hard. Thank you so for working with me. I think we are going to see him grow by leaps and bounds in his academics.

I was so excited, I could have cried. What a change from the start of the school year, with two U's in conduct for the first two six weeks' periods, and constant notes coming home in his folder, and a visit to the principal's office, and all the crying about how hard school was! His handwriting is getting better, and it just thrills me to see stickers in his folder instead of notes telling me what went wrong that day. (He's started off this six weeks with stickers for five days in a row! Woo hoo!)

We're still on the 30 mg of Vyvanse, and it certainly seems to be helping. Julian hasn't lost one iota of his personality - if anything, he's more creative than ever, and his drawing has really taken off. His handwriting is improving, he's more excited about reading on his own (although he still prefers that we read to him, and there's nothing wrong with that!), and he doesn't complain anymore about school being hard or too much work. I am so, so glad that we did something now, rather than waiting to see if he outgrew this or if trying things other than medication worked. I'm glad to know he's on track now to being a good student, rather than one that elicits the reaction, "oh, great, it's THAT child" from teachers when they see his name on the class rolls. I know he's got the brain power to do well, and it looks like we're getting the focus and behavior concerns under wraps to where he can put that brain power to good use. What a great way to start my day!

So parents, if you've got a child with ADHD tendencies and have considered medication but are hesitant, let me tell you, don't be. You find the right thing and the right dose, and it can truly work wonders. (Carrie, if you're reading this, I know - you told me so! :-) )

Back to life as we know it

So another election season comes to a close, and life goes on.

We're home today, as we were yesterday. Julian came home Monday complaining that his throat hurt, and he woke up crying with it yesterday, so we went to the doctor. Hooray, we've got strep! A couple of his friends came to school sick, and I'm sure they were just sharing the love. Anyway, the doc gave us a prescription for Omnicef and said this meant three days out of school, so we're home. Using vacation for this is no doubt blowing my Christmas travel plans to bits, but I've gotta take care of the boy, right? :) (Besides, it's not like I've minded the break from work. LOL) Brian will be in tonight, so he and Julian will be home tomorrow, and I'll be back at work.

We had our follow-up for his ADHD meds a week or so ago, and for now, we'll just keep on keepin' on. There's been a lot of improvement, although there's still room for progress, and his doctor did say that we may need to increase the dose at some point to see full improvement. But for now, we're good. The counselors at the after-school program have told me pretty much every day how well-behaved Julian has been, and he did a lot better on a second 20-minute evaluation by the school counselor - he was only off task 30% of the time, down from 65% in the original evaluation, and that after only six days on meds. I thought that was encouraging. His handwriting has gotten better, too, and he's gotten stickers for good days four days in a row! Woo! I don't think that had happened since the first week of school. So things are looking up in that department.

Brian's job search continues. We don't know what will happen with his current job. Enrollment apparently hasn't picked up, but we don't know if that will mean half shifts for everyone so that everyone can have some work (in which case it's not worth him driving out there), or if they'll find busy work/projects around camp for the staff not out in the field and have everyone keep working full shifts, or what. Brian said they made a big deal out of reassuring everyone that no, there would be no lay-offs, that jobs were safe. I don't know about you, but when people go out of their way to reassure me that, no, of course the worst case won't come to pass, I start to get worried. Anyway, he's looking here for any- and everything that might get him a foot in the door somewhere, bring home enough to pay the bills, what have you. It's just a shame that *this* is the school year that Dallas ISD way overbudgeted and overhired - they've just laid off 400 or so teachers, so any kind of education-related job is really at a premium right now.

On that happy note, I'm going to make cookies. I seldom do, because I'm usually at work, so today I'm going to do something that's a nice treat for all of us.

Diagnosis

Monday was an eventful day - ophthalmologist, pediatrician, and teacher conference. Some holiday for me, huh? LOL

Julian's eye appointment went fine. His vision is good enough to pass a driving test, so no glasses needed at this time. Julian seemed pretty disappointed by that, saying he wanted glasses! Silly boy. LOL The ophthalmologist said that at some point, he may indeed need glasses if his vision gets poor enough that he can't do what he needs to do without corrective lenses. But for now, he's good. And the ophthalmologist was great - well worth the drive to Plano.

The pediatrician's visit was draining. Even though I already knew what I was going to hear, it was still a lot to process. I showed Julian's doc the Conner's survey from his teacher, and we talked about what the teacher and counselor had described in terms of the issues he was having at school. She then asked me what I thought, if I believed it, and I had to say yes. I see how he can't sit still. I see how his emotions are up and down, up and down. I see how he can't focus long enough to get his work done without me sitting right there with him, helping him keep himself on track. I see the anger and the opposition. So I had to say yes, I believe it. She said she's known it pretty much since Julian was an infant, but she doesn't bring up the subject until parents broach the subject with her. She asked Julian to sit still and be quiet and not move while she and I talked, and he lasted maybe two minutes before he was moving around, looking under the exam table to see what was there, messing with his hair and his ears - he couldn't do it. His doc said we could do more testing to see if there was anything else going on, and I told her the counselor at school said it's the attention/behavior issues driving the learning difficulties, not the other way around, and his teacher said he's very intelligent and should do well if we can get a grip on the attention/behavior. So we're trying meds - we're starting with 20 mg of Vyvanse. The doc recommended we start it on the weekend, so I can have a day or two to see how he reacts to it before he goes off to school on it, and he needs to take it first thing in the morning with food, preferably protein. (That should be fun, as the only protein Julian wants to eat for breakfast is bacon and eggs, and I can't make bacon and eggs every morning.) We'll take our first dose on Saturday, and we'll see how it goes. Other than the ADHD discussion, there was a checkup - Julian is 3 feet, 10 1/4 inches tall and weighs 56 pounds now. There was also the Flumist nose spray (not much fun), a finger stick to check his hemoglobin (less fun than the Flumist), and the second half of the Hep A shot (took both me and Brian to hold him down, and there was lots of screaming).

That afternoon, I met with his teacher and counselor. The counselor had done an observation of Julian for a 20-minute period when he had a specific task to work on - it wasn't time where it was OK for him to be up and moving around the classroom. The time period was broken down into 30-second intervals, and she observed how often he was off task, playing with objects, out of his seat, etc. During that 20 minutes, he was off task 65% of the time, playing with whatever he could get his hands on (pencils, paper, bits of eraser) 45% of the time, singing to himself 30% of the time, and out of his seat 20% of the time. He was also redirected by the teacher six times, but the counselor said the student teacher was in charge right then and may have gone easy on Julian because she knew the counselor was observing. That kind of inattention can't help but affect his schoolwork. I saw work done by the kids posted on the walls of the classroom, and Julian's handwriting is noticeably worse than most of his classmates - yes, theirs is still clearly kid handwriting, but Julian's is so much less developed and looks so much more strained. I could pick out his work from the little tail on his small a's and his backwards s's. The counselor said handwriting issues are fairly common in kids with ADHD, and that that should improve as his focus improves. She also said that reading is usually tough for ADHD kids, and I said, oh, no, reading is one thing where he seems to be doing well. I told them we're a family of bookworms and reading has always been highly encouraged, and his teacher said he is doing well, by her testing. Julian reads 65 words a minute and comprehends most of what he reads, and he just moved up another level this week, so reading is our best subject at this point. I told them we'd be starting the meds this weekend, and the counselor said she'll do another 20-minute observation before we go back for the follow-up with his pediatrician, so we'd have something to compare the first one to. Overall, it was a good talk, and I think they know now that I'm not blowing off what they say and I am committed to helping Julian get on a good track and do well in school, and I feel like they are, too. So it was a lot to process in one day, but ultimately, it's good to know we're taking steps to help Julian do as well as I know he can. And if we get the ADHD under control, I think he'll do well in school.

Brian went back to work on Wednesday. This eight days on, six off is a challenge. It's like I just get used to him being back, and then he's gone again, and then I just get used to being by myself, and he's back. How families with one spouse on shift for long periods of time manage it, I'll never know. I'm thankful for his job, but boy, the logistics are way less than ideal. He's looking at several options at home, including the museum field, Child Protective Services, and whatever else we think of that might have potential. There haven't been any new teacher openings anywhere, and he hasn't gotten any sub assignments at all. I just hope something works out closer to home when we really need it. And if his work hours end up being cut (which is a possibility if enrollment doesn't go up), I'm telling him to just find something, anything closer to home. When you break down his paycheck by how many hours he's officially on shift, it works out to about $6.00 an hour (which is, I just realized, less than minimum wage). I think retail or warehouse work would pay better. If he ends up working less hours and getting paid less accordingly, it wouldn't be worth the drive out there or the time away from home.

I'm trying to remember, we walk by faith, not by sight. Today, it's a real struggle to keep that faith.

RAK's and ups and downs

I've been RAK'ed! I went to the post office on Saturday and found a package from my lovely friend Donna (if you want some good bath goodies, go check out her site, Creative Body Essentials - best foot scrub EVER, and everything else I've ever tried has been wonderful, too!). She knew I'd been feeling down lately and struggling with my faith, and she sent me three beautiful things: a suncatcher with the verse "We walk by faith, not by sight", a beautiful music box with the same verse that plays "How Great Thou Art", and a key ring/prayer box that had a slip of paper tucked inside with Jeremiah 29:11 written on it. I was so touched, I was crying and laughing all at the same time. Thank you, Donna - you were truly a blessing from God to me!

And today, I really need to be reminded that we walk by faith. I got a call from the principal's office just before lunchtime. Julian was in the office, having disrupted class all morning, and the straw that broke the camel's back was that he cut his hair. He said I'd said he needed a trim, and I did - but I didn't tell him to do it himself. I've e-mailed his teacher to find out what the other disruptions were, and I talked to the principal for a bit. She said Julian had to wait, because she had someone else in her office when his teacher brought him down, and when the other person left, Julian said, "It's my turn!" She told him no, it was his turn when she said it was, and he needed to wait until he was called. As a result of this, Julian had to miss specials with his class (which he loves - that's when they have art or music or computers or P.E.), he'll have to eat lunch in the principal's office, and he'll have to miss recess and sit in the office. The principal said that today they'll call it a time out in the office, but if it happens again, it will be considered in-school suspension. I told her that we were aware of his difficulties, that I'd been talking to his teacher and the counselor and was aware of his ADHD tendencies, and that we had an appointment with his pediatrician next Monday to start the evaluation process and do what needs to be done to help Julian get a grip on his behavior. I also told her that he and I have talked about how his brain is probably wired differently than other kids' and how that may make it hard for him to focus, but that he also knows we expect him to mind his teacher and behave in class and at home, that it's not some kind of blanket permission for him to cut loose and act out any way he pleases. She said she could have his teacher do a Conner's survey to help out with that, and I told her she'd already done that, that we had a copy and would be taking it to the appointment on Monday. I felt like she was thinking he must just be undisciplined at home and that I must be a slacker parent for having a child who'd act like that, and it sucked. I'm trying not to cry and really trying not to let this wreck my day. It's just something else to deal with, right? We'll talk to his doc and go from there and get a handle on things, right? This doesn't mean my child will become "that kid", the one whose name teachers cringe to see on their class rolls, does it? I never went to the office for anything, ever. I was one of those disgustingly good kids. I can't wrap my brain around this.