Saturday, July 29, 2006

No boundaries?

First off, I'm feeling moderately crappy. I've been running a fever since yesterday evening. It comes down with Motrin, but then goes back up as the Motrin wears off. Not really high - the highest has been about 101. Just enough to make me feel crappy. No other symptoms - no cough, congestion, sneezing, aches, etc. Just a fever. I guess if it continues, I'll go see my doc. Yay, that's just what I need - to have to take more time off of work. (I will say, though, that I was pleasantly surprised when our new manager stopped by my cube to ask how J was doing - I hadn't really expected that.)

J is feeling just dandy, by the way. :-) I'm very glad of that.

Some days I wonder how exactly K perceives his relationship to me. This is where the title of my post comes in, because in some ways, it feels like there are no boundaries. In some ways, it seems to be that he acts almost like we're still married - he comes over, eats my food, drinks my drinks, wants to know what I have to eat for dinner. In other ways, I feel like I fall into the best friend or even best buddy category. Example: Yesterday he had plans. He called today while J and I were out and about, and he asked if I had any concealer. Well, I'm no dodo, if you've had a date and you're asking about concealer, you're trying to hide something, and I don't mean a zit. I said yes, I did, and I wasn't even going to ask why he needed it, I didn't want to know. He said, um, yeah, well, he burnt himself on the curling iron (which is, of course, the classic excuse for why one might have a hickey - well, for girls, anyway, not sure what the classic excuse would be for guys). Now honestly, did I need to know that much? I think not. He could simply have asked about the concealer without the explanation of why he needed it, or he could have gone and bought some and never said a word to me. And it's not that I'm jealous - that's not it at all. But I'm his ex-wife - even without there being any question of me being jealous, is it really appropriate that he tells me (or hints at enough that I can figure out) what he does with some other woman? It seems maybe a bit much to me, even though we are friends and always will be. But maybe I'm just off in my thinking. I just know that I've never kissed and told to him - anything he's gotten into his head about what I may or may not have done since we've split up has come purely from his own imagination. Hell, I don't tell my girlfriends what has or hasn't happened, I don't even tell my own journal most of the time, why would I feel the need to mention it to K? Sometimes I wonder if he doesn't tell me some things just to see if I *will* react. I don't. I tell him to have a good time, and I mean it.

No word on a new job yet. I keep sending off to everything I can think of, and hoping for some good news soon. Until then, I keep slogging away where I am.

Now I think I'll take advantage of a relatively early bedtime for J to go have myself an adult beverage, do a little reading, and go to sleep relatively early myself. Ah, the glamorous life of the single woman....

3 comments:

- E said...

Oh, K! When will you learn?!

However, I & think you should kiss and tell a bit. At least to tell me. ;)

Hope you're feeling mucho better come morning.

Lisa said...

E, you make me smile. That's why I have IM, to kiss and tell. ;-)

A Mother's Serenity said...

Does K think he is back in junior high?? Umm...seriously!!