I was running late this morning - J fell this morning and skinned his other knee (he fell and skinned one yesterday morning, and was having a pure fit because it was bleeding and it hurt - this morning was round two). So we had another round of boo-boos and hugs and J asking me to stay home, that he needed to go see Dr. Jean. Poor baby, he was so not happy that I was leaving this morning. He kept asking me to stay with him and saying he wanted to stay with me. I'm not sure what's up. For the longest he's been real good about going on in at school without a fuss, but lately he's clingy and whiny and doesn't want me to leave. It hurts my heart, and I'm not sure of the cause. I wonder if it's because he really doesn't want to go with K tomorrow.
And K needs to move that hamster cage if he cares what's good for J. Last night J asked me again about where he'd be on Friday. When I told him he'd be going to daddy and A's, he was just inconsolable. He's cried every time I've said that he's going to daddy and A's house this Friday. Honestly, does K want his son to sob at the thought of spending time with him?! If so, keep right on. If not, he and A had best have this discussion and they'd best move the hamster. I was going to tell him this today, but he called before I left the house - he and A woke up to a flooded kitchen, there's a leak or a break somewhere, and he was looking for a mop in Wal-Mart when he called. I figured that wasn't perhaps the best time for a serious discussion.
I just don't get why it's such a big deal. I understand that with five kids in the house, you don't want to give one preferential treatment. But helping one get to sleep doesn't seem like preferential treatment - that's not like taking them all to Toys R Us and saying, OK, you get a toy, the rest of you, too bad. It's helping a need get met. It's not like sleep is optional. I don't get it. And if an adult were bothered by a noise while trying to get to sleep, he'd deal with the source of the noise if it were possible to do so - he wouldn't tell himself to just deal with it and let it go on. I really wish K and A would put the hamster in their room for a night or two, just to know what it sounds like. Maybe then they'd see why it's such a distraction for J and why it bothers him so.
I'm looking for a counselor. The ones in our area that take my insurance are all men, and I think I'd prefer a woman. I'll keep looking, though. I really think it would benefit J, and a counselor might be able to get to the root of the problem if there's anything else bothering J, where I'm not having any luck getting more than that Chuck bothers him. I don't know, if there are any other issues, if J just doesn't have the vocabulary or self-awareness to really verbalize what's bothering him, and I don't want to ask "is it such and such" and run the risk of either using terms and concepts he doesn't really understand or of putting words in his mouth and having him agree just because I asked.
My sweet boy. My heart just hurts that he's sad, and that I'm not really sure how to make it all better.
In other news: The rotten thing about taking a new position at your place of work is that you're still here to deal with crap from your old position. *sigh*
Is it Friday yet?