I haven't gotten Brian's present yet, and he's ordered mine but it hasn't come in. That notwithstanding, I got the best Valentine's present ever this weekend.
He loves me! He does, he does!
We had "that" conversation on Saturday night. I cried - I'm a big goob. He said, "Can I ask you a tough question?" I said sure. He said, "So are we in love with each other or do we just meet each other's needs?" And I just burst into tears - exactly the response every guy hopes for when he mentions love. He kind of freaked out, worrying if I was OK, and when I was able to stop just sobbing, I told him I loved him so much it hurt. And I cried some more, and we just sat there in the floor holding on to each other. He said he loved me, too, and he wasn't going anywhere. We talked for about an hour, I guess (still sitting in the middle of the floor). He said he's been pretty confused the last few weeks trying to figure out where things stand, and he was a little hesitant to say he loved me because of his track record (Karen - big ugly mess; then he married Amy, his ex; then there was Tricia - even bigger stinky mess). I told him he didn't have to worry, he already knew I wasn't a nutter like Karen or Tricia. He told me, yes, I was, but we were compatible nuts. LOLOL We talked about trying to have a kid (but said that if it didn't happen, he was OK). Big scary stuff, but in a good way. (Note to self: Go back to Curves and start exercising and get your fat ass in shape! If I'm even contemplating the possibility of trying to get pregnant, I've got to do that.) So. He loves me. I love him. Now one of us just needs to find a job where the other one is, so we can get past all the silly logistical nonsense!
That was the best Valentine's present ever. I told him that, and he said, "So, this means I don't have to give you the present I ordered." I told him no, I didn't say that. LOLOLOL
So it was a pretty darned good weekend. In other news, we went to the Stars-Ducks game on Saturday. It was Brian's first hockey game. The Stars won, 1-0. For most of the game, it looked like Anaheim just outplayed Dallas - it was like Dallas couldn't get it together, missed opportunities, they just couldn't get into the right place at the right time. But they managed to score a power play goal to win the game. Our backup goalie, Mike Smith, was in the net, and he ROCKED. He's just signed a two-year contract, and I'm glad to see the Stars planning to keep him around. Good to have two good goalies on the roster. Our seats were in the nosebleed section, one row from the top, and my butt is still sore from walking so much - all the way from where we parked, all the way around the arena (it was our first visit to the American Airlines Center, so we had to check it all out), and up all those stairs. Ow, ow, OW.
Brian stayed Saturday night, too. He usually goes back then, but he stayed this weekend. He had to leave early Sunday morning so that he could go usher at church. I was glad he stayed.
I won't see him until the first weekend in March, unless we plan something kid-friendly. We may try to do that. Too bad it's still a bit too cold for the zoo or something like that.
I'm a happy girl. And if the logistical issues can be sorted through, there may be a ring in my future.
And in other news: K and A are getting married. This Wednesday. Seems a bit sudden, but I guess if they think it's right, then that's their call. The friend part of me is happy for him and wishes him the best. The selfish part of me thinks, damn, there goes my free babysitting, because I know K won't always be available at the drop of a hat to pick up J so that I can do optional things. Not saying he won't put J first, I just know that his responsibility is more to A now than to me, and there's a difference in him being there for J's needs and covering for me so I can do something that isn't essential. And the mom part of me worries about J and wants him to be happy through all of this. K and I have talked about me not wanting J to feel like just one of five kids to his father (A has four children of her own, so it will be a house full when J is there) - J has never handled changes in routine real well anyway, and I don't want him to feel like he can't even get his father's full attention anymore. So, changes are coming, and I'm expecting some sleep disruptions - that's usually what happens when J's routine changes. All I can say to that is, hooray for coffee.
Speaking of coffee - I'm tired this morning. Last night was rough. J woke up about 3:30 or so and came to get into bed with me. First off, he dropped the toy he'd brought, so I had to get down on the floor and help him find it. He was wet, so we had to change. We laid down for a few minutes, and then he was thirsty and wanted milk. So we got milk and got back into bed. Laid down for a bit, and he started tossing the covers off the bed - he didn't want them. I told him that was fine, but please don't take *my* covers, I wanted them. Laid down for a bit longer, and then he needed to go potty. So we got up and went to the potty. He howled because the bathroom light was bright and wanted me to go find his Thomas sunglasses. I told him no, I was not going to go rummage for those glasses, that his eyes would adjust and soon we'd be turning off the light anyway. Finished there, got back into bed, laid there for a few minutes. J squirmed and sniffled and snorted, and finally sat up and said, "Mama, I need to blow my nose." So he blew his nose, and FINALLY, after all that, we were able to settle down and sleep. It only took about 45 minutes. So. I'm tired. Need much coffee.
I had to laugh, though. This morning, he and I had this conversation:
J: "Mama, when I was at A's house, I woke up at 4:30."
L: "Goodness, that's early. Did you go back to sleep?
J: "No, I got up and went to the bathroom, and then I found Daddy and told him I WAS NOT going back to bed."
L: "I'm sure Daddy loved that. Why were you up so early?"
J: "I don't know, I just woke up and there I was."
In work-related news: My old position is open with the Ellis County DA's office. I've applied. I hope it works out. I took a little different approach this time - I've gone the formal, "proper" approach, so this time my cover letter was very informal. I just laid out what I'm doing and why I want to come back. It would be a pay cut from what I make now, but I think I'd make it up in the savings on paying for parking and gas (since my commute would be a LOT shorter). I hope something works out for both Brian and me, in the same place. He's applied for a job up here - he'd applied for the same position last year, and was told he wasn't qualified (I'm not sure they actually read his application, because he is). So that may work out. I just hope we can both end up in the same place sooner rather than later.