I got my new meds yesterday. My doctor called in some cough syrup, Tussionex, that has the same active ingredient as Vicodin. It helped some with the cough, but the real bonus is that it makes the work day a lot more palatable. LOL I'm also taking Zyrtec now, in addition to the Singulair and Nasacort. Naturally, the generic Allegra I was taking was a $10 co-pay, and Zyrtec is $40. But if it works, I guess it's worth it. I'm glad something is helping a bit. I really felt like hammered shit yesterday - I had no voice, it hurt like hell every time I coughed or blew my nose, I couldn't stop coughing, I could barely breathe, I wanted to crawl into a hole and not come out until I was well. The cough syrup hasn't stopped the cough, but it's better, and I don't hurt now when I cough. The absence of pain alone has improved my disposition substantially.
It's been quite an evening. Apparently right before I got to daycare, J tripped and fell off the stepstool at the water fountain after getting a drink. When I got there, he was sitting in the floor with one of the teachers, just sobbing. It took me ten minutes to get him calmed down enough to tell me what he'd hit (his head), and even then he was still crying near-hysterically. We sat there in the floor for a bit, and I just hugged him and told him it was OK, and eventually he settled down enough (but still crying) to go put his shoes on and go upstairs and get his things. He wasn't going up by himself tonight, though - after his fall, he was scared of the stairs, so I went up with him and stayed close. I told him that as long as we went slow, he'd be fine, and he was. I figured he was OK (as in, not seriously injured enough to require immediate medical attention) when we found a birthday party invitation in his cube (his little classmate is having a party on Sat. at McDonalds - guess where I'll be?) and he stopped crying long enough to be quite interested in it. He started crying again, though, and cried pretty much all the way home. I've been keeping an eye on him for signs of serious head injury. There's no bump on his head, no indentation of the skull, no bleeding, he's not throwing up, he's not falling asleep and not waking, his pupils are the same size and respond appropriately to light, and he's not crying anymore, so I think he's fine. We dodged a trip to the ER. But still, that was kind of scary. Poor baby, I think the fall scared him more than anything. I hope he doesn't start thinking of school in a negative light - we were making such progress with self-confidence. I was a little lenient tonight as far as dinner (a popsicle and fruit snacks - my mother would scream) and bathtime (I let him watch all of Toy Story, which ran until almost 9:00, so we weren't in the bath until a bit after 9), since he was so shaken up. It's one of those special occasions where the normal rules don't have to apply. I'm sure I'll be checking on him several times during the night, to make sure he's OK. Ah, the joys of having a boy - I'm sure there will be many more incidents like this in the future. And my heart will come near to stopping with every single one of them, until I know for sure he's all right.
The puppies. I think they're going to have to go back. It's a hard decision. Tonight, though, I felt my chest tighten up and felt the urge to cough coming on pretty much as soon as I stepped in the front door. (Not psychological, I had plenty on my mind at the moment worrying about J and trying to carry him in the house - no walking, nothing would do but "mama, carry me".) And I've been hacking and snotting a lot more than I did being out of the house. Even with the super-duper cough syrup. I do hate to see them go - I think they're cute little stinkers, even if they have dug a hole in my wall. And I do want dogs. But it seems like there are so many negatives to keeping them that they should go back. First, the sneezing and coughing and crud for me. Not good. I worry, too, that they should be somewhere where their people aren't gone 12, 13 hours a day five days of the week. I know most dogs are social, but these little guys seem to want company more than most. They need more socialization and someone who can devote more time to training them. And lately J really gets upset when they start jumping on him (which they do every time we let them out of a morning or evening), and wants them to stay in the puppy fence pretty much all the time. I asked him tonight if he'd be sad if the puppies went to live somewhere else all the time, and he said, "No." I know the jumping would improve with training, but right now it freaks J out. As far as bathing them to help with allergies, I could probably manage every other week. At this point, it would have to be on my J-free weekends, because he wouldn't wait around outside long enough for me to bathe two puppies - he'd get impatient and be ready to come back in. (These are the things you realize really stink about being a single parent. Sometimes having someone else around to help would be incredibly handy.) And everything I've read regarding managing dog-related allergies recommends keeping them in areas of the house with no carpet. It's no kind of life for them if they have to always (or most of the time) stay cooped up in the kitchen. They need to be somewhere they can run around the house and be close to their people more often. And the way I felt last night, I don't think I could stand it until they were housebroken or I could get a fence put up. Last night was the worst I've felt since this mess started. I'm not quite as bad right now with the new meds, but I'm not particularly good, either. I should have stuck to my original plan to wait until I had a fence put up, and then get a bigger, older dog (adopt one from a shelter) that could stay outside from the get-go. The puppies were just so darned cute that I momentarily lost my grip on my good judgment. I hope they'll find a really good, happy home. They deserve that.
Well, once again I've stayed up stupid late. I'd better go get some sleep so I don't repeat this morning and wake up after 7:00!