Sunday, February 26, 2006

An update of sorts

Finally, I'm taking time to write. But I can't remember what all I wanted to write about! I must be getting old.

I'm tired. I stayed up stupid late playing with the DSL (which I just love, by the way - I will never, never have dial-up again), and of course J woke up at 6:30 - "Mama, it's time to WAKE UP!" Someone really should try to explain to him that we don't *have* to get up the second there's a sliver of light in the sky, that we really can sleep in occasionally.

Oh, a J funny - several days ago, K was asking me what I'd think about J meeting the 5-year-old son of the woman he's been seeing. Before I could say a word, J piped up with, "I could live with that!" I have no idea where he picked that up, but I thought it was hilarious.

In a fit of domesticity, I got all my laundry done last night (well, everything except for the sheets on the bed - I'll do that today, maybe after I finish writing). I still have to put some of it up, but it's all clean. I feel positively virtuous.

The hearing is on Tuesday. So in just a little over 48 hours, I'll be officially single again. You'd think that after all this time, I'd just be so excited I'm about to pop. I'm not, though - I'm a little...sad is perhaps too strong a word, maybe wistful is more like it. You just never think your marriage will end up like this when you're starting out. Logically I know it's a good thing, and like I said, I'm not really sad about it. Lord knows we've had plenty of time to talk about fixing things up if that was what either or both of us wanted. It's just not the happily ever after you dream of on your wedding day. I expect that the hearing itself will be fairly easy. I'm working on the order, Kevin and I will both sign it, and I expect that the judge will approve it. I'm taking that day off work - not sure what I'll do afterward, but I don't think I'll feel much like dealing with customers.

Oh, I remember what I wanted to write about. I am now on written warning at work. WTF. I've never been on written warning anywhere I've worked, EVER. So is the problem me, or is it the job? I was good and pissed off about it last week. Right now, I'm just tired. So this means I have to mind my p's and q's until they decide I've shown sufficient sustained improvement, or I have no job. If I must play the game, I will. I'll jump through all the little hoops that management thinks are important, and I'll do it until either they decide I *am* fabulous after all, or until I find my shiny new job that pays me 30% more than what I currently make. If nothing else, I'm at least cleaning up my book so that my successor won't inherit the load of crap I got. One thing I will say, though - my current manager genuinely does want me to do well, which is a big change from my previous manager (he was much better at pointing out what we needed to improve than actually getting in the middle of things and really helping). So I like her a lot. But still - written warning. Feh.

And I guess that's it in a nutshell. I've probably got more to write, but I'm fried.


Nell said...

I remember feeling the same way just before my hearing. Even sitting in the courtroom I cried a little, even tho I was glad to be getting divorced.

A Mother's Serenity said...

My MIL said the same thing...she was so glad to be actually done with the whole divorce, but the actual hearing and the date is was official was a bit hard for her in a way.

So messed up about the warning! See, ym point to my boss was the same say I have "issues and problems" working here but never once did you counsel me, write me up, or even mention it in my yr end review a few months back. So, what was my problem exactly??? I hate you are having to go thru this and I am sending new job vibes right to your door okay!!