I could just throw up. My finances are reaching critical mass, and I don't know what to do. Get a second job? In what free time would I do that? Win the lotto? If I knew the winning numbers, I'd have done it already.
And to rub salt in the wound, every day I have to see our company's stock price go up and up. We're constantly hearing about how we're developing this new line of business or acquiring that company, about how we've just reached another milestone for earnings or whatever, best performance in the second quarter, blah blah blah. In short, it sounds like our company is making money hand over fist, and it sickens me to know that the odds of me ever seeing any of that benefit in the form of a raise or bonus is so small as to just about be a negative number. I've been here two and a half years now, and I've never gotten a raise or a bonus. Nothing. With the cost of benefits going up, I'm probably bringing home less than I made when I started. So if things are going to get better, I damn sure can't see how they're going to get better here.
Some days the thought really does cross my mind that if anything happened to me, at least K would have the insurance money to take care of J. Those days, the thought of my little boy is darned near the only thing that keeps me going.