And now the holiday fun starts. K's mom had asked me if they could come visit for Easter, and as is my usual reaction, I said sure. But then I realized that Easter is the first weekend in April, and J would be with K, so I said he and I would need to talk first. They were planning to come and stay here with me and J.
K called just now. He's talked to his mom, and now wants me to talk to her and try to dissuade them from staying here. He says he thinks it's inappropriate for them to stay here for the holiday when J will be with A and him, and he hasn't mentioned it to A, but he thinks she'd be uncomfortable with it as well. I told him to speak for himself if he was bothered by it, and to ask A before he said it would bother her - he just insisted that he "knew" it would bother her. I guess I can see that it would be weird having your in-laws staying at their ex-DIL's house, but I'm so used to welcoming them whenever they feel like coming to visit that this hurts. I adore K's parents. I want them to come see us and to feel welcome here. I hate that K wants me to be the one to try to convince them not to stay here. I told him that if he and A were bothered, that needed to come from him, but that I would point out it was K's weekend with J, and that they might want to stay closer to them this visit, not that I minded them staying here but it would be more work for them driving back and forth. I'm sure she'll ask why we couldn't switch weekends, but plans the rest of the month really do work against us doing that. So. I'm not looking forward to this conversation. K says he feels like he's stuck in the middle. Well, so do I. I feel like I'm stuck between what his parents want and what he wants, and if it bothers him and A if they stay here, I wish that would just come from him rather than it coming from me first that I think it might be better if they didn't stay here.
He asked me wouldn't it bother me if Brian's parents went to stay at his ex's house. I said if they still got along, I don't think it would. I know Brian is still on good terms with his ex-ILs, and they get together for dinner periodically, and I'm fine with that. They've told him they'd like to meet me at some point. I'm not bothered by that at all. But maybe I'm just wired differently than some people.
I got upset and cried, and K got all wiggy about that. I told him that it hurt, that I still think of his parents as family and I hate telling them for whatever reason that they can't/shouldn't stay here. He said he wasn't saying they couldn't stay here ever, he just didn't think it was right for a holiday. I'm not sure whether he meant *any* holiday or just one where J was with A and him. At any rate, this sucks, and I don't care what K says, he isn't in the same position. His parents have always been welcome in this house, and it was and still is my home. K is in a different home, one with stairs that would make it difficult for his dad to maneuver to the bedroom to sleep (his dad has arthritis in his hips) - there are logistical reasons why K could say, hey, y'all might be more comfortable in a hotel than here. I hate that it's coming from me, because it never has before.