Monday, March 05, 2007

The weekend, and a conundrum solved?

I had a wonderful weekend with Brian. It's funny, it's like my time with Brian makes me so happy that I don't want to talk about it much, I just want to hold it in my heart. I love him so much, and this logistical issue just needs to work out some way or the other. I wish we were in a situation where one of us could just move and count on a job being there, but we aren't. So, we look and we wait. That part sucks.

We went to see The Number 23. Good movie - not one you think, "Oh, I want to see it again and again," but worth seeing.

And in other news, I think I have solved the conundrum that is J. Brian and I went to Half Price Books on Friday evening - I was looking for The Out of Sync Child, but didn't find it there. Instead I found Raising Your Spirited Child. I kind of flipped through it in the store, and I bought it. Best $6 I think I've ever spent. It describes J to a T. Spirited children are more everything - more energetic, more sensitive, more persistent, more perceptive, more intense. The throwdowns over sock seams in the wrong place, the fits over itchy tags, the seeming inability to remember a simple direction, the high highs and the low lows, the drama, the texture issues with food - all traits of a spirited child. The book was clear that this is considered "normal" behavior, that the spirited child doesn't have any kind of neurological or sensory problems. They're loud in joy or anger because they really do feel everything that much more strongly. They're easily frustrated because they feel the frustration more so than people who can try and try again without getting stressed out. They're in constant motion because they're wired that way. The itchy tag really does bother him that much more than it bothers me. This is his temperament, and to ask him to stop being that way is asking him to stop being himself. He's not doing any of this to get on my nerves, he's just that way. The book goes into different ways of working with your child's temperament, seeing the positive instead of the negative (i.e., "assertive" rather than "aggressive", "tenacious" rather than "stubborn"), and helps the parent determine his or her temperament as well (apparently I'm more spirited than I thought, which is why J and I bang heads so much - irresistible force, meet immovable object! LOL). I feel so much better knowing there are enough kids out there like J that there's a name for it! I'm not a weak mother, I'm not ineffective, I'm not doing something wrong, there isn't anything wrong with J, he's not "difficult" - I just need to learn to work with J to help him channel all this intensity.

And the book distinguished between the spirited child's lack of focus and the ADHD child's lack of focus. The spirited child, if interested, can focus for a good long while (sound like any little boy I know? :) ). If it's his idea, he's a lot more likely to be interested than if it's someone else's, but if it's something that appeals, he'll be engaged. The ADHD child, no matter how much he may *want* to complete a task or participate in an activity, *can't* focus - it's not that he isn't interested, it's that there's something going on in his brain that keeps him from attaining that focus. That made me feel better, too, and will be handy knowledge should someone down the road want to label my child ADHD and stuff him full of Ritalin.

Bedtime: He was asleep by 9:00 last night. Not sure if this is the growing part of the growth spurt I suspect (he's not eating nearly as much, and he does seem more tired than usual), if he was just tired from the weekend with K (he was up at 6:30 yesterday morning), or if the Serenite Jr. helped. I put a couple of drops into a little milk like the instructions said, but he only drank about half of that little bit of milk. I guess it might have been enough to make a difference. At any rate, he sacked out while I was reading to him and slept most all night - he came and climbed into bed with me at some point, and then fell right to sleep there.

And now it's another fun and exciting day at the office. Woo.

I've applied with a medical transcription company to see about the possibility of doing some part-time work. Supposedly they train you, and you can work as much or as little as you like. I typed up my transcription sample and sent it in on Friday. It can't hurt to talk to them, and if it works out to bring in a couple hundred extra a month, then that's a good thing. I'm thinking I may really need to make a complete change of career. Law and/or finance/estate planning may really not be my thing.

3 comments:

Nicki said...

Whatever is causing J to sleep, I hope it continues!!! I'm glad you had a good weekend!

girlymama said...

i've never heard of that book - but i'm going to go get it from the library. sounds just like my daughter!!! Especially the constant motion and dramatic tendencies and the texture and sensitivity stuff (maybe that's why she cries when i make her wear clothes. maybe she won't be a nudist after all!!)
Sounds like a great read -- and i'm so glad that it was so helpful for you! isn't it great when you find a parenting book like that??

Sassy Sistah said...

Will you let me know how the medical transcription thing goes? I'd love to be able to do something like that myself for some extra money.

Glad you found the book! It sounds like it will be really helpful to you and to J!