Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Did I just fall off the turnip truck?

I think this is kind of humorous. Yesterday I asked K what he'd done with the weekend while J and I were in Louisiana. He said something to the effect that he'd cleaned his apartment. I said I was surprised that, given a free weekend, he hadn't gone out or done anything fun. He then said well, yeah, he had spent some time with a woman he's been talking to. I said, well, good for you, and I told him that he didn't have to be weird about saying he'd gone out, that I was long past the point where him going out with someone could hurt me. Not that I'd expect or want blow-by-blow descriptions of what went on, but he shouldn't be concerned about telling me he'd gone out.

Then today - K has had dinner out tonight planned for a little bit now, a week or so? I can't remember exactly. Anyway, dinner tonight is with this same woman he's been talking to that he saw this weekend, and that's fine. He's met someone he likes, wants to go out, good for him. What's funny - he just called me, ostensibly to ask how my day off was (and I'm sure he did want to know, but that wasn't the only reason, I don't think). A little preface to my next comment - whoever drops J off in the mornings calls the other to let them know how drop-off went. It's just what we've always done. So in the course of conversation this afternoon, K says that when I call him after dropping J off in the morning, don't be surprised if the phone goes straight to voice mail. Well, all righty then. Now why would he be telling me this? I've called before and the phone has gone straight to voice mail - maybe he's talking on it, maybe he's turned the ringer off, maybe he had the radio turned up in the car, maybe he's in traffic and can't answer right then. I'll wait a few minutes, then call again. He knows this. So why tell me it will probably go straight to voice mail? I may be way off here, but I think he's planning to spend the night with this woman and just didn't want to come right out and tell me. I guess it's considerate of him not to hit me over the head with the fact that he'd be getting lucky if that is indeed the case, since I can't even remember the last time I had sex. I'm sure I did at some point in time, I have a son to prove it. I just think it's funny that he went out of his way to tell me about the voice mail - did he not think I'd have a theory as to why he was calling? Now, granted, I don't ever want to know all the details about any of his dates or girlfriends - he and I will always be friends, but there are some things he does not need to go into detail about. But if he'd just said, "Hey, I'm spending the night tonight, don't call first thing in the morning," I'd have said, "OK," and gone right on. He probably gave more away by calling me like that than he would have done if I'd gotten voice mail in the morning! LOL

I've gotta go get J from school - I can't believe my day off is almost over. Hopefully I'll be able to get on and write some more tonight.


Tommy said...

I think that he's just a guy and wants to get a reaction. Maybe not to be an ass, but just to be human. If you started prying then he could think that you still had strong feeling for him. Sometimes we want someone to get jealous so that we can feel that we are attractive. That of course is a very broad generalization and I've been gripped at for that.

Lisa said...

Tommy, you make a good point. Maybe that is it. But it seems to be a bit late in the game for him to be wanting to think I might still have strong feelings for that. And who knows, I could be way off base with my little theory about him telling me that - maybe it was for some other reason entirely. I may never know!

The Anti-Wife said...

You know, no matter what -- no matter how far along into your separation you are -- it's going to be hard and somewhat awkward. Maybe even painful. I agree that the less you know the better off you'll be. Maybe he's trying to cop a rise out of you like tommy suggested; just let it go.

I feel for you...even if you don't feel hurt.