Monday, January 09, 2006

And then it was Monday

Yuck. I'm thinking about many things at the start of the new year, one of the top things on my list being work.

I just don't want to be here. I've been out of law school 13 years, I should be at a point where I'm doing moderately well financially, not scraping and struggling about how I'll make it from one paycheck to the next. I don't have a lot of extravagant debt - I filed bankruptcy to get out from under the credit card debt, and still I struggle. Extravagance is buying an occasional CD at Target or getting takeout for dinner from Sonic, it's not about jewelry and expensive clothes and luxury items. I shouldn't have to worry if I'll have the money for daycare in my account when it's time to pay, or if buying a new outfit will keep me from paying a bill, or if I'll be able to pay for my child's education or my retirement. I'm 37 years old, and I have NOTHING saved for retirement - everything I'd saved before, we had to use when I changed jobs because our finances sucked, and I don't make enough here to even put anything in my 401(k). That's just not right. The workload is enormous, and it never slows down, it never gets any better - once you're behind, you just keep getting farther behind. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. It stresses me out, and I don't like the person this job makes me. Something has got to give, and I just hope it's not my sanity that gives first.

To go from such a good weekend to this - that's just wrong. Blech. If I can't find a job I'm passionate about (and I'm beginning to think there's no such job out there), is it too much to ask to find one that I at least enjoy and that pays me decently?

There, whine over for now. Back to the grind.

3 comments:

A Mother's Serenity said...
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A Mother's Serenity said...

I am right here with you on this issue. I HATE my job more and more every day. I hate the people I work with and I hate the entire concept of going there everyday! so, here is to new jobs in 2006...ones we enjoy no doubt!

Lisa said...

Amen to new jobs! At least I'm fortunate enough to work with people I like - were it not for my co-workers, I'd have run screaming months ago, new job or no.