Tuesday, January 24, 2006

See, I knew there was nothing in there

My doc called yesterday with my CT scan results. She said my sinuses looked fine - way better than she expected, given the never-ending round of crud I seem to have. I do have a deviated septum, and she asked if my sinus problems tended to start on the left. I said no, they start on, and are worse on, the right side. So apparently fixing the deviated septum wouldn't help any, and she sees no need for sinus surgery. Good thing, as I really didn't want it anyway - the idea of someone messing with my nose and/or face just oogs me big-time. It would have been nice, though, to have a definitive reason for the ongoing problems. She's changing my allergy medicine. Used to be, if I took my meds every day, I'd stay pretty clear most of the time. Lately, though, that clearly isn't the case. So I'm trying something new, to see if that helps. It may just be where I live (Cement Plants R Us, just look up Midlothian, Texas and air quality and see what you come up with). We'll see where things go from here.

My head is actually pretty clear at the moment, if I could just get rid of this damned cough. Sometimes it starts and I just can't stop it. Last night it woke me up several times, to the point I was afraid I'd wake J up. Bourbon, lemon and honey is the only thing I've found - all cough medicines included - that settles it down for any length of time. (Dammit, I'm out of lemons.) Sometimes it's a dry, tickly cough, sometimes it's a sort of wheezy, goopy cough. I just want it to stop. I'm sure people who don't know me think I'm a long-term smoker, the way I sound - in reality, I've never smoked anything in my life.

Let's see, what else has been going on? It's time for puppy training - they're in the chewing stage, and they get to stuff that I have no idea how they reach (stuff that's up high enough you wouldn't think they could get it). We're still working on housebreaking/paper training, and I'm sure the puppy classes will help with that. Bad thing is, the one I want to go to, at Petsmart, doesn't start until February 25. Boy, that's a long time away. Petco has a class starting a week or two earlier, but the instructor at Petsmart sounded like she was much more on top of things than the instructor at Petco. Besides, the Petsmart classes are at 2:30 in the afternoon, which works much better for our schedule.

Last week was show week at Little Gym! Since it was my free weekend, I debated whether I wanted to go - I knew if J saw me, he'd be ready to come home. But I didn't want to miss show week. So K and I worked it out to where I'd go to Little Gym, J would come back home with me on Saturday, K would treat for dinner Saturday night, and then he'd stay with J while I got some time to myself. So that's what we did. Dinner at Macaroni Grill, and then I got a little free time - ah, shopping unencumbered by a three-year-old who's ready to go RIGHT THEN, what bliss. :-) And I'm really glad I went to Little Gym - the medal ceremony was really cute, and I got some good pics. (Well, some are good, and some are just...well, action shots. LOL) The instructor said J has some good gymnastics skills - he can do a really good front roll, a back roll and a pullover on the bar with help, and several other things. I said he may have good skills, but he only does them when he wants to, not when anyone asks him to! We're moving up to the next age group starting this Saturday - this will be the class where J goes in by himself, without mama or daddy. Should be interesting - I'm sure there will be an adjustment period. But he seems excited about going.

I wish he was as excited about going to sleep. Lately his bedtime has gotten later and later - 11:30 on Thursday, 10:45 on Friday, 10:00 on Saturday, 9:00 on Sunday (he was wiped out, he fell asleep while I was reading to him), and back to 10:30 last night. AARGH. He's still napping at daycare, but he was up nearly as late on the weekend, and he doesn't nap at home. I hate to ask his teachers to keep him up during naptime - I know they need the break just as much as the kids do. And maybe that has nothing to do with it. I hope he's not getting sick - his sleep patterns go all to hell when some kind of crud is coming on.

No news on the job front yet. I'm just about to pop from wanting to know something, and I sure hope it's good news.

I hope the news is good because it would be nice to have a job I like, and because I could surely use the boost in salary. I am so tired of being broke. I've had to ask K for money several times, and he's always helped me out, but I know he's trying to save for his own stuff - he wants to buy a house sometime in the not-too-distant future. And if I keep needing, then his savings will be gone, too. I tried thinking to myself that I carried us as best as I could the first year we were married, and when K was in school, and when his temp job crapped out and he didn't get paid for days or weeks or (once in a while) months, and maybe this is karma's way of rebalancing things. But it doesn't help - I still feel like a mooch. I'm not accustomed to having to ask for help. I was raised to take care of myself and my busines, and it bothers me that I'm having a hard time doing that right now. Blech.

So since I've whined some now, I'll try to remind myself of my blessings - I know I do have some:

*I have a job. It may not be perfect, and I may wish it paid me more and was less stressful, but it's a paycheck. Without it, things would be much worse.
*I have a car that runs. It gets me from point A to point B, and it's paid for.
*K and I get along really well even though we're getting divorced. There are plenty of people out there who don't have that blessing, and it would make the whole process so much worse if he and I didn't get along.
*I've got a roof over my head, food in the pantry and freezer, and clothes to wear.
*I've got two cute puppies who make me laugh when they aren't making me swear, and they'll grow up to be two loving dogs who brighten up our days and who we'll love and take care of (and J likes to feed them every morning, so he's learning responsibility!).
*I have family that loves me - my dad, my stepmom, K's parents, my bio mom, my sister, K's bio mom and the rest of his family. Lots of people are all alone in this world.
*I have a beautiful, healthy son who's too smart for his own good, built like a Mack truck, and can try my patience daily - but when he spontaneously says, "I love you, Mama", that makes all the fits and sleep issues and potty training accidents seem so irrelevant. I want to be the mother and the person my son sees me as.

1 comment:

Nell said...

I'm coming to YOU when I need cheering up!