My application is sent, along with a prayer that this will work out as it's meant to. It's out of my hands now. So I wait, and keep looking to see what else is out there.
K and I have worked something out that should allow me to stay in the black if I scrupulously track my expenses and don't spend one dime more than I need to, so that will be a relief. But it's not something I want to continue forever, you know? I want to have a job that allows me to support myself and J, with K's child support maybe going into a fund for J's college or something if I don't have to use it to pay actual expenses.
Drop-off this morning was a challenge. J was up until after 10:00 last night, per usual, and came and crawled in bed with me during the night. He woke up a bit before 7:00 and laid down on the sofa while I was in the shower, saying he was tired. Once we got to school, he didn't want to go to the gym as is his new routine, he wanted to sleep on me because he was tired. I was tired, too, so probably wasn't as patient as I should have been - he was clingy and crying and not wanting me to leave, and I know it's because he was tired and trying to adjust to a new routine. I was impatient because I was worried about being late for work, and I feel bad about that. I did tell him that if he was tired, he needed to go to sleep earlier instead of fighting it so hard. We'll see if he remembers that tonight.
Oh, and we're having orientation tonight - I told J that when I got there to pick him up this evening, we'd stay at school for a little while so I could talk to his teacher. He told me, "I don't WANT you to come in class!" So tonight should be fun - I fully expect that I'll be trying to talk to his teacher and fill out the necessary paperwork with a 50-pound boy pulling on my arm and howling to go home.
At least it's Thursday. One more day and it's the weekend.