K and J are on their way to Louisiana today, going to see K's parents. This is the first time K has made the trip with J by himself. At first I was pretty excited - they're going today and coming back Monday, which means I have three nights and two days free. I can't remember the last time I've had that much time to do whatever I wanted - before I was married, probably. So my initial reaction was, WHEEEEEEEE!
Until about 3:00 yesterday afternoon. Then it started to hit me. My baby will be AWAY from me, TRAVELING on an interstate highway with God knows what kind of lunatic drivers, who neither know nor care that the heart of my heart is on that road. What if, God forbid, something happens, and J wants me, and I'm not there? What if something happens and they're in an area where there's no cell service (because it can be a bit spotty). WhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatIF?! I was sitting at my desk yesterday afternoon with tears rolling down my cheeks, unable to stop them, because I'd gotten myself into such a state. Logically I know things will be fine, this is a trip we've made bazillions of times. But emotionally? Let's just say yesterday wasn't so good. Would I feel better if they'd driven during the day instead of after K got off work? Well, maybe a little, but I know he's hoping J will sleep a little during the trip. (Don't count on it, though. Even if it is 11:00 at night when they're driving.) But right now, I'm at least calm on the outside. I'm not a basket case like I was yesterday, but I'll rest easier when I know they've made it to Louisiana safely (I told K to call me no matter what time it was and no matter that I've got plans this weekend, this is my baby boy we're talking about here, I'd like to be kept informed, and if Brian were to get horsey about it [not that I think he would], I'll hit him with a big stick), and when they're back safe on Monday.
Of course, it will probably take a total of about three hours for me to contemplate selling J to the gypsies. LOL But still, I'll enjoy my time to myself, but I'll miss him like mad and be glad to see him back.
And I know this won't be the last time he travels with K, without me. I'm going to have to toughen up to the idea a bit, I guess, and learn not to nut myself out every time J is away from me for something other than the usual routine things (school, weekends with K, etc.). *SIGH*