Friday, August 18, 2006

Just a little bit nervous

K and J are on their way to Louisiana today, going to see K's parents. This is the first time K has made the trip with J by himself. At first I was pretty excited - they're going today and coming back Monday, which means I have three nights and two days free. I can't remember the last time I've had that much time to do whatever I wanted - before I was married, probably. So my initial reaction was, WHEEEEEEEE!

Until about 3:00 yesterday afternoon. Then it started to hit me. My baby will be AWAY from me, TRAVELING on an interstate highway with God knows what kind of lunatic drivers, who neither know nor care that the heart of my heart is on that road. What if, God forbid, something happens, and J wants me, and I'm not there? What if something happens and they're in an area where there's no cell service (because it can be a bit spotty). WhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatIF?! I was sitting at my desk yesterday afternoon with tears rolling down my cheeks, unable to stop them, because I'd gotten myself into such a state. Logically I know things will be fine, this is a trip we've made bazillions of times. But emotionally? Let's just say yesterday wasn't so good. Would I feel better if they'd driven during the day instead of after K got off work? Well, maybe a little, but I know he's hoping J will sleep a little during the trip. (Don't count on it, though. Even if it is 11:00 at night when they're driving.) But right now, I'm at least calm on the outside. I'm not a basket case like I was yesterday, but I'll rest easier when I know they've made it to Louisiana safely (I told K to call me no matter what time it was and no matter that I've got plans this weekend, this is my baby boy we're talking about here, I'd like to be kept informed, and if Brian were to get horsey about it [not that I think he would], I'll hit him with a big stick), and when they're back safe on Monday.

Of course, it will probably take a total of about three hours for me to contemplate selling J to the gypsies. LOL But still, I'll enjoy my time to myself, but I'll miss him like mad and be glad to see him back.

And I know this won't be the last time he travels with K, without me. I'm going to have to toughen up to the idea a bit, I guess, and learn not to nut myself out every time J is away from me for something other than the usual routine things (school, weekends with K, etc.). *SIGH*


JamDaddy said...

You will always worry, but as long as you don't go to far all is good. My wife has always driven me nuts with worry when the kids were gone. After 15 years my daughter broke her arm on a snowboarding trip. My wife was all up in arms, see I told you things were going to happen when the kids were away. I was too smart to remind her they had been on hundreds of trips without us with no problems and probably had gotten more cuts and bruises at home. Of course the broken are had no long term affect on my daughter who actually though it was a "cool" thing.

A Trucker Wife said...

((((hugs)))) that's life of a mom. We are always worrying. Hang in there.