Still looking

Well, the possible lead that Marta found for me turned out to be something I was wildly unqualified for, so no go there. But, I did find a placement agency looking for contract attorneys to do document review, which would be a very Lisa thing, assuming the contract was long enough and salary and benefits were right. (I was quite pleased to see that a lot of the legal placement agencies offer benefits like health insurance and 401(k).) I also found Lawfinders, a firm that does writing and research for other attorneys and firms. Again, if salary and benefits were what I wanted, that would be a *very* Lisa thing to do. So I've sent resumes to those and to some other placement agencies, and tonight I'll fax to the ones that don't have websites where I can apply online. I'll just keep plugging away, and something will work out eventually.

My friend who does readings did one for me last night, and here's what she said in response to my question about surviving financially:

Hi Angel,

Light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel is four months away. I'm sorry, love, I know that's a long time.

You'll cope, but it's a big test. I'm not going to hide the hard stuff from you because I know you can take it - you've been taking it. It's not going to get worse (or at least not much worse if it does get worse), you'll survive, but it's a matter of getting through these next few months rather than enjoying them.

xxxx

Four months. Sigh. But, that can change - these things aren't set in stone. So, resumes will go out wherever I can send them, and I'll keep hoping.

And it's not just for myself that I want to get a better job and a better financial situation. K has helped me out beyond his means to do so, and now he's in a bind, too. I feel really bad about that. Bad enough that I've run through my savings because of my crappy job, but now I've pretty much single-handedly demolished his as well. So I want a better paying job to improve my own situation and to pay him back as well. That way we can both get ourselves back on decent financial footing. Surviving is good for now, but I want - need - to find an improved situation for all of us. Yes, K and I are no longer married, but we're friends, he's J's dad, and he's helped me out to his detriment. It's not fair to him for me not to repay that kindness as soon as I'm able. I know he's really worried, and I hate seeing him so upset because of what he's done for me. So, I persist and do my best to keep the faith that better things are coming.

I'd kind of shied away from sending my resume to the place I worked before where I am now - the CEO has a reputation of not even considering taking someone back once they leave, and I'm sort of scared of rejection. It would be a longer commute, which isn't necessarily good with gas prices like they are. And I'd thought that perhaps I wouldn't like it so much now that several of my friends are no longer there. But you know what? Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I'm going to fax my resume. If they tell me no, well, it's not like I haven't heard that before.