Thoughts on New Orleans:
Michael Brown is an odious little toad. Here he's been pointing the finger at state and local officials, saying they're to blame for everything that went wrong in the aftermath of Katrina, and apparently he was warned of problems that could delay supplies and endanger emergency personnel. I'm not saying there's no fault to be found with how city, parish and state officials and agencies handled things - I think there's some blame to be had on every level (keeping in mind that hindsight is always 20/20, and it's always easier to say what should have been done afterward than to know beforehand what should be done). But I don't see how Michael Brown can say with a straight face that FEMA did a bang-up job and all the problems were everyone else's fault. I was listening to NPR this afternoon, and heard a commentary that made the point about how the appointment of Brown is an example of what happens when you use political appointments to reward your friends and contributors. I didn't realize that civil service was originally designed to apply to all Federal government jobs, but over time, certain positions have come out from under the civil service umbrella. Huh, look where it got us with this particular former director of FEMA.
Thoughts on work:
Today was hideous. I got a good bit accomplished on one important aspect of my job, but had to let another important aspect slide, and may not be able to get that one caught up by month end. In my interview for the internal position I've applied for, the hiring manager said she was concerned I might be bored in the new position. I wish I'd thought to make this observation: My present job isn't all that exciting. It's not intellectually challenging, not a stretch of my abilities - once you learn the procedures and processes, the work is fairly simple. What makes the job a challenge is the sheer volume of work, and to my mind, being so overwhelmed with work that you don't know where to start isn't a good challenge to have. If the volume of work in my current position were less than what it is, I'd be bored with it. So I don't think the "bored" factor should be a consideration - wish I'd thought to bring that up at the interview. No word on the new position, by the way. But the week isn't over yet.
It dawned on me yesterday that my manager is a good six or seven years younger than me. And I realized that I'll be 40 in just three years. I'm getting to the age where the probability that my manager will be younger than me is increasing. It's not to where that would be the norm - I'm not quite that old. But it's a rather disconcerting thought to realize that I'm not really part of the "young" crowd anymore. I don't feel almost 40 (well, not most days, anyway).
Thoughts on beauty and attraction:
As I'm at a point in my life where I might think about meeting new people, about dating at some point, I occasionally worry about my appearance. I'm working out, trying to get into better shape, but I'll never fit the societal norm of beauty. I'm just not built that way. I'm too short and too round, always have been, always will be. But then I thought, you know what? From a biological standpoint, I've done my share. I've contributed to the continuation of the race, I have a wonderful, beautiful son who's smart as a whip. At this point, is it really my role to try to be as beautiful and enticing as I can? I don't think it is. I'm never going to look like a Barbie doll, I'll never be so skinny that you can balance coffee cups on my collarbones, I'll never be a size 2 or 4 or 6. And you know what? I don't care. I'm a mother now. My primary responsibility is to raise my son and to help him grow up to be a well-rounded, confident, responsible adult. I'm not going to let myself go, but I'm not going to flog myself (figuratively speaking) for not dropping eight or ten pounds a month, for not being able to fit into those clothes that have been lurking in my closet since the early 90's, for eating a chocolate chip cookie instead of nonfat yogurt. If anyone is going to be interested in and attracted to me, they're going to have to be interested in me as a person, not me as a warm body. Sex? Eh, I can take it or leave it. Besides, it wouldn't mean anything to me anyway if my partner didn't value the person as much as the body. So I'm not out to lure a man in with my stunning beauty and feminine wiles. If guys aren't interested in a woman who's intelligent, a tiny bit sarcastic, who can cook and who likes sports and beer, well, then, they aren't for me.
And that's enough thought for one night, I think. I'm going to bed. G'night.
7 comments:
You know, Cassee, I don't know if I'd get anything or not. I'll send you my name, though, if you want, and you can try! :)
Exercise should be about health and well being, and not snatching a partner.
Only exercise to feel better, otherwise the motivation is fleeting at best.
Lisa, you have a great attitude about your appearance. I wish I could feel like you. I get so damned hung up on how others view me. And about turning 40...ouch. It was very difficult for me (because I feel and look like such a frump) but they say today's 40s are like yesterday's 30s. Here's to hoping...
SRH, you're right. Believe me, I've tried the diet and exercise routine because someone else said I should, and gee, look how well that turned out. (I'm rolling my eyes here.) My exercise is my "me" time, my treat to myself - it does make me feel better, and if someone doesn't like my outside, they don't have to look at it. :)
Kellie, this is an attitude that took me years to develop! And I'm not far from 40 myself, so I'll let ya know how I feel about it when I get there. Most days I don't feel muc
Ack! Take or leave sex?? I hope I never say that for the rest of my life. It is such an integral part of my personality and what motivates me in life.
I haven't followed the Michael Brown or FEMA issues - I guess it disgusts me that with so many people still in need of help the government would rather concentrate on pointing fingers than finishing the job - but as a government employee I had to laugh at the idea that a political appointment like this one is a favor to the appointee and not the appointer. Government positions are thankless jobs, and low-paying compared to what the people in these positions could make in private spheres. Take judges and attorneys general for instance - every one of them earns far less and gathers more criticism (and often threat of personal danger) than if they were partner in a major law firm. But they do accept these appointments. Yes, some are hungry for power or notoriety, but I think more are doing it out of a sense of civil duty and as a favor to the executive chief (president, governor, etc.) or their own party. Being head of FEMA when Katrina hit was bound to be a no-win situation. A friend on the inside of Homeland Security has been teaching me a lot about protocol, policy and procedures, including that "ALL DISASTERS ARE LOCAL. This means that the lowest
possible jurisdiction has the primary responsibility to respond. When they
can’t do it any more, they ask for help from the next higher level; locals
to other locals, and then to states, states to other states, and then states
to feds. That way, the resources flow to the people who are at the level
where the issue can be better understood, addressed, and rectified." That there are plans that lay out everyone's responsibilities (e.g., http://www.dhs.gov/dhspublic/interapp/editorial/editorial_0566.xml). That when people don't perform their own roles in the plans, things go screwy. FEMA is the most prominent name in this mix but the last stop in the line of responsibility. One of the best things my friend wrote was this, "Picture trying to plan a Thanksgiving dinner. You might host it at your
house, but you ask other people to bring food. But, you don’t tell people
what to bring, and don’t ask how many people will come. The two people who
you DO ask to make something don’t follow the recipe, and blame you for not
knowing beforehand that they didn’t know how to read a cookbook. In the
end, you end up with 6 green bean casseroles, 3 loaves of bread, and a
gallon of cranberry sauce, but no turkey, stuffing, or gravy, and you only
have enough food for 10, but have 40 people in your house who are now
wickedly pissed that you provided such a crappy holiday dinner." I would add that because it's all government positions in the chain of command, you are lucky to get anyone well-qualified to take such a thankless job for such low pay, and it's even more amazing that we don't have more failures of the system than we do.
Don't worry Lisa, I'll never be a size 4 either. But I did find out that Guiness is pretty low-cal so there's a good thing.
Kayten, you're right that disaster relief is local government's responsibility first, and you're also right that appointments aren't doing the appointee any favors. I worked for the government, I know it's a thankless job! LOL
Tommy, Guinness is low-cal? Sweet! I may have just found my new diet plan - all Guinness, all the time.
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