Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A nice surprise

No, not for me. My friend John, who works with me, was telling me today about a surprise he was planning for his wife this evening. It wasn't a big elaborate surprise, he was just getting her flowers and taking her out to dinner for the 38th anniversary of the first time they met. I thought that was just the sweetest thing. I mean, how many guys are there out there that can't remember big things like wedding anniversaries or birthdays (not all guys, I realize I am making a broad generalization here), and he's surprising her on the date they first met 38 years ago?! Very cool.

I generally don't consider myself high-maintenance at all (if you asked K, he'd probably concur). But it would be nice to find a guy who thinks of things like that from time to time. Not necessarily the anniversary of the first time we met, but who just thinks to surprise me on occasion, not for some big-deal anniversary or holiday or birthday, but just because I'd like it and he'd like seeing that it made me happy. *SIGH* Perhaps I expect too much, but hey, I'm in no big hurry to rush into a relationship anyway. I can afford to be patient and be selective.

And talking about that.... It's kind of funny, K and I talked when he first moved out and when the divorce had been filed, and he swore up and down that he was going to be commitment-phobic, that he was just going to play the field and not even think about being in any kind of serious relationship for a good long time. OK, fine. Well, now that he's had a relationship for a bit (one which ended rather badly, unfortunately), he's said he realizes that being alone sucks. Funny how the two of us can think so differently on that. Yes, Brian and I have been going out for a while (geez, getting close to a year now?!), but in spite of the fact that neither of us is seeing anyone else, neither of us view what we have as anything "serious" at this point, either (it's hard to think of a relationship as serious when you're seeing each other every couple of weeks at most - hard to really have an idea of where things might go when you're really still trying to be on your best behavior every time you see each other). Sure, I'd be sad (OK, very sad - OK, OK, I'd eat great gobs of chocolate and cry a whole lot) if we stopped seeing each other, but I think I'm better able to handle being alone than K is. If I were to stop seeing Brian, I don't think I'd feel compelled to try to find someone else in any kind of big hurry. I don't know why K and I are apparently wired so differently in this regard - do I like my own company better than he likes his? I don't know. Maybe it's just that he has more alone time than I do, so has more chance to realize it sucks. Maybe if I were alone more often (for example, if K and I shared custody and each had J with us for a week at a time), I'd figure out that being alone sucks. Or maybe I'm just OK with solitude. It just goes to show that the universe has a sense of humor, with Mr. Commitment-Phobic now not wanting to be alone. And I'm not saying any of this in a mean-spirited way - K and I are friends, and I'm sorry that he's not happy. That's all I want for him, is to be happy. So, hopefully he can find someone who can help him to be happy.

I think I'm rambling. Perhaps I should stop typing now, go roll my sleeping child off my side of the bed and onto his, and get some sleep.

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