How could I forget the wonderful adventure of shopping for a new outfit? I only went to one store, because I didn't want to spend my whole free day in the damn mall - I go only when absolutely necessary. So off I went. Found several nice things, some were actually on sale, and I found a gorgeous Ralph Lauren blue silk skirt, sort of a flared shape with buttons up one side. I was willing to shell out $119 for it if it fit, and I don't spend that kind of money on one article of clothing very often.
So, trying on said clothes - to quote Marisa Tomei in my favorite movie, My Cousin Vinny, "Oh my God, what a fuckin' nightmare." Why is it that clothing manufacturers seem to labor under the mistaken impression that women who are a bit larger than average are just one size from the waist down? Every skirt I tried on fit fine in the hips, but the waist in all of them was about three or four inches too big. I could almost take them off without unzipping or unbuttoning them. They're so much too big, I couldn't even take them up and make them look good. So, no new outfit for me. I bought myself bath goodies and candles instead, in a fit of absolute pique with the women's clothing industry.
Damn the clothing manufacturers. Damn my genetic heritage for giving me these big hips. Just damn. Now what will I wear on Wednesday?!
2 comments:
It's the tailoring syndicate! They want to be sure you shell out another $20 or so to get it to fit.
That must be it, Jay. But they need to work on their measurements a little if they want to make any extra money - those stupid skirts were so big in the waist, there was no way they could have been made to look good. I could have spent an extra $50 and it wouldn't have helped! So they lost money on me, didn't they? LOL
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