Wednesday, January 19, 2005

How to be the perfect date

I found this article on AOL/Match.com - guys, thoughts? Is this the way for a woman to be the perfect date? (For what it's worth, I can already talk somewhat sensibly about sports, love beer, and can cook - I think I'm the perfect woman. LOLOL)

(And does #10 really work, do guys eventually start picking up after themselves???)

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How to be a great girlfriend in 10 easy steps

By Bob Strauss

To most guys, There's Something About Mary was the perfect film about the perfect girlfriend: Someone who drinks beer, loves sports, smiles sweetly in the face of infantile behaviour and looks like Cameron Diaz. Granted, there's nothing you can do about the Cameron Diaz part, but here are some tips for turning yourself into the kind of gal that prompts guys to ask, "Why can't the women I date be as cool as her?"

1. Know the league rules. Want to make a guy's jaw drop? Give him your blow-by-blow of the Arsenal/Man U showdown. Earn him a few quid on your World Cup predictions, and he'll propose to you faster than David Beckham's latest Lamborghini.

2. Lose the coasters. These little frisbee things are the bane of a guy's existence; if you insist that he use one, you can't help but come off like a proper miss at a girl's academy. Which would you rather have: A boyfriend, or a smudge-free coffee table?

3. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they're stupid — especially if they're stupid — a guy's jokes are an irreplaceable token of his manhood. If you don't laugh, it's just like waving around a pair of knitting needles. Extra points if you fake a giggle fit in front of his mates.

4. Share the wealth. Speaking of his friends, if you follow all the tips listed here, they're going to be very jealous that the two of you are an item — so coax out your single female pals every now and then and let everyone mingle. If nothing else, it's good karma.

5. Let him get lost. No, don't throw him out of the house. The next time you're out driving, and your boyfriend refuses to ask for directions, cut him some slack. Losing his way on the M5 is the closest he may ever get to the adrenaline thrill of skiing the Alps.

6. Flatter his ego. Whenever your boyfriend tells his latest tiresome tale about slaying some work-related ogre — or starts wondering whether, deep down, he's really suited for life as an epic poet — just tell him he's terrific and you believe in him 100 percent. Even if you don't.

7. Know when to stay home. No guy will come right out and say it — at least, no guy who wants to keep all his body parts — so if you pay extra-careful attention to your boyfriend's mood, you'll know when he wants to spend a night out with the gang by himself.

8. Buy a round. If you do happen to be out with the gang, buying the next pitcher — or, better yet, turning everyone on to the kind of fancy drink (like Cosmopolitans) that only girls seem to know about — will instantly establish your cool-chick credentials.

9. Wear a baseball cap. You know how naturalists, when they want to infiltrate a pack of hyenas, dress in fur pelts? Not only will a baseball cap make you look sexy — especially if you wear it backward — but it'll do a lot to increase your boyfriend's comfort level.

10. Don't sweat the small stuff. The list is too extensive to include here, but are loose toenail clippings, unwashed towels, and torn jeans really worth a full-blown argument? Go with the flow, and you'll be surprised how often your boyfriend cleans up his dirty habits all by himself.

2 comments:

Tommy said...

First off, never take advice from a Brit. Have you ever watched BBC? They like some really wierd stuff over there. I don't think that anything on that list would do it for me. Men don't generally like a woman that is fakes a lot (laugh at his jokes even if they're not funny), I'll be that #11 would have been: "Don't tell him what you like in bed. Men like to think that they already know everything about sex so just let him do what he's doing and fake 2 big ones to stoke his ego."
Screw that!!!
Be yourself, give directions when needed and don't nag all the time.

Lisa said...

Tommy, I think you're right. I'm very much a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of person, and that's why that article struck me so funny. I'm thinking, now what guy is going to want me to laugh at his jokes if they aren't funny? (Fortunately, I'm easily entertained and always forget the punch lines to jokes, so not only will I laugh at stupid jokes, I'll do it repeatedly on different occasions! LOL) I had a roommate in college who was very intelligent but whose IQ appeared to drop about 20 points if she was around a guy she liked. Irritated the crap out of me - my thought always way, hey, if he doesn't like me as I am, intelligence and all, who needs him?

Nagging - hmm, I am a bit of a control freak, I probably need to work on knowing when to keep my thoughts to myself a bit more.

But like I said, I like beer, like sports, and can cook - I'm perfect already, right? LOLOLOLOL

L.