The terrible almost-threes

No one ever tells you beforehand how very draining motherhood can be. I adore J, wouldn't trade being his mother for anything, wouldn't send him back even if I could. But some days - today being one of them - he just makes me so TIRED. He's terrible-two-going-on-terrible-three - he pushes every boundary to see exactly how far he can get, and then when you set the boundary, he really has a fit. Yesterday he tried to stand on his head - on the sofa. Not good, when he's so tall that if he did stand on his head, he could easily flip himself over the back of the sofa. I told him no, we don't do that, sat him down, asked him if he wanted a big time-out. He said no, and I told him we'd have one if he stood on his head like that again. What does he do? Three seconds later, head goes down, feet go up. Five seconds later, mama and J are sitting in the time-out spot. I sit with him and hold him there, because he won't sit there on his own, he'll get up and run off. So for three minutes we sat and he screamed. Afterward, he didn't stand on his head again, but I was wiped out. It's the pushing and the need for me to constantly repeat myself - I love preschooler selective hearing. I keep hearing that it will get better as he gets older, or at least different. :)

Tomorrow it's back to work. I saw a quiz that was one of the little stories that shows up when you sign on to AOL entitled something like, Is it time to quit your job? I think I could answer yes to all of them - things like, Monday is the hardest day of the week, tired all the time, often late to work, struggle to get out of bed. The only warning sign I didn't have was disagreements with co-workers - that's the one thing about my job I really *do* like! I've applied for a position in a different area where I currently work, and it sounds like something I might be better suited for temperamentally. It still wouldn't use my legal education a whole lot, I don't think, but it would be a better fit in other ways. I may not have a snowball's chance in hell of getting it, but I gave it a shot - if they tell me no, it's not the end of the world.

I think I'll treat myself to a somewhat early bedtime tonight - J was asleep by 8:30 (at least there's some benefit to him not taking naps, bedtime is a fraction earlier!), and I'm wiped out. More later!