Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Thoughts on sex.

This is not intended to be a sex blog. If it were, it would be incredibly boring, given as how I have no sex life at the moment (no man in my life, hence no sex). However, I may at times discuss how my thoughts and attitudes toward sex are changing, and things I'm beginning to realize about myself. This is one of those times.

Like I mentioned previously, I grew up pretty repressed. I was probably the most hormonally underwhelmed teenager I knew. Sure, I had crushes on boys, but I never thought much about what came after kissing (I knew the practicalities, I'd read my Child Craft when I was about six, I knew all about how babies got here, but it just never occurred to me to think of that in relation to actual boys I knew). This huge abnormality was "helped" along by the fact that guys just weren't interested in me. I like to think it was because I frightened them with my towering intellect - they *were* more interested in copying the answers to my chemistry homework than in getting into my pants, after all. All that to say, sex didn't play a real big part in my formative years (although my mother constantly worried about premarital sex and teen pregnancy, in spite of my efforts to reassure her that the odds of that were slim to none).

And I don't guess sex played a real big part in my early marriage, either. Sure, it happened, but I really didn't see what all the fuss was about. I started to wonder if I had some weird hormone imbalance, and this wondering went along further when I had to deal with infertility when we finally decided to try to have a child.

But now I think maybe I just needed to grow up in regard to sex. Since all this separation stuff has happened, I may not have had a rush of ardent suitors beating a path to my door, but I have had lots of time to think. I've come to realize that sex can be fun. I've come to realize that I no longer feel like it should be reserved for marriage - been there, done that. Not that I'd hop into bed with just anyone who comes along, but if I meet someone and am really attracted to that person (mentally and emotionally as well as physically - big turn-off if he looks like a GQ cover model but is dumb as burnt sand) and things progress, well, then, lucky me. (I figure I have a lot of ground to make up for, since I missed out on mis-spending a hormonally supercharged youth! LOL) I've come to realize that it's OK to shop at a store called Condom Sense, and that sex toys are not a cause for embarrassment, but are things to be thoroughly enjoyed and to be purchased regularly!

I've come to realize some other things, too, but it's just about time for me to call it a day. More later.

No comments: