A comment by Mo's Girl got me to thinking a bit. As I've said before, right now I have no sex life, and recently even the electric boyfriend hasn't been consistently reliable. Some people might think, hmm, want sex, got no sex, perhaps it's time to look for a boink buddy. But I'm not interested in that, I don't think. I know myself well enough to know that I can't do truly casual sex. I have to feel like, on some level, the other person wants *me*, and not just any old warm and willing body. So for now, I'll steer clear of looking for anyone just for a fling. It would just leave me feeling bad about myself, and that's not something I need right now.
Other thoughts: It's gray. It's cold (yeah, I know, those of you in really cold places are laughing at me whining because it's going to get below freezing tonight). I'm tired. I have no will to work, but much work to do. Can you be burned out at a job after only six months?
We're having a little party at work this afternoon - a celebration of our impending move. We're actually having margaritas on the company nickel, which is pretty cool. But that's coming up at 3:00, which decreases the time I have left to get anything accomplished in. Why do I feel like this is going to be just another day shot to hell?
7 comments:
I don't think that MG was taking about finding a fuck-buddy or a quick fling, just a set of people to hang out with, shop, let kids play... that sort of thing. Some way to release without "releasing". You could always go to the Parks Mall, point at the kids and laugh that gets me through lunch somedays :)
Oh, on another topic, Blogger is acting like shit for me today so all my comments are coming in late and BlogRoller still doesn't show me as updated. And its freakin' cold!!
Tommy, I didn't mean to imply I took her comment that way - it just got me to thinking, that's all. :) And I'm fortunate that I do have a good group of friends to hang out with, talk to, do stuff with the kids, so it's not like I have nothing to do (and I'm thankful for that!). Some days you just miss that physical contact, though. When that's not to be had, toys are an OK stand-in for that physical release, and when THAT doesn't help, well, then, that's just rotten (especially at the time you're hoping the toys will do the trick - once the mood passes, it's not that big a deal, at least not for me). But I don't sit around and dwell on it, that's for sure. :)
And you're right, it's COLD!!!! I'm sure people who live in places with "real" winter laugh at us here in Texas, boo-hooing because it's going to freeze tonight and the wind is blowing fit to cut through you. But I'm a Southern girl through and through, and to me, this is plenty damn cold. I will never want to live where you measure snow in feet, thanks very much. I'd freeze!
L.
Lisa,
I'm glad to see that someone else thinks this way. The guys in my office have all offered a siple solution for my situation; go get yourself laid. The problem is, that is easier said than done. I am not looking for something meaningless and casual really. From the sex aspect of things, I can always give myself an orgasm, so I'm not missing those.
What I am missing though is being held after the sex is done. Finding your partners arms wrapped around you softly as the two of you discuss nothing important and just enjoy the post-sex feelings. It has been a long time since I felt like that and the desire for it is gnaws at me when I am alone.
A fuck buddy won't offer that. It is going to be a while before I get that again and that, to me, is the saddest part of everything. I think were I to just hook up with someone then I'd probably feel worse if they didn't just hold me afterwards.
My wife really did a number on me...
I completely agree with you both. I think, no I know, that making love to someone that you love is so much better than just fucking. MG takes my breath away by just touchng my arm while were in the car, that electric spark sizzles just by her being near.
Sorry, I guess that I'm being insesitive.
In other news, there is a burning ball of fire in the sky... I think it may be... hell, its the sun!!!
Chris, you've hit the nail on the head. The physical release is nice, but the emotional connection is what you miss. I'm so sorry your wife has done such a number on you - I apologize on behalf of the female gender. We're not all like that, and you deserve to find an absolute gem after what you've put up with.
Tommy, you're not insensitive, just blessed! :) Can't say I'm not a little green with just a tad of envy, but hey, you just be happy. If I'm not having any fun, I'm glad to know someone is.
The...SUN?! Oh please, oh please, send it here, I want to see!!!!
L.
Thanks Lisa. And my advice as to how to break out of any funk is... go to Vegas! Its cheap and something every adult should do at least once. We fly and stay for 4 night at a nice hotel across from the MGM Grand for under $500 for the both of us. GH, you could use a fun trip as well so the next time Wife takes Boy for an extended weekend just get on a plane and go for a night or two. Your brother would probably jump on the idea as well.
And Lisa, the sun is out but the wind is still blowing straight out of the North at about 5 billion miles an hour.
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