Friday, November 19, 2004

Yay! And other topics

Visitors!!! :-) I just love having company stop by. Thanks to The Good Husband, Kitti Loves Jay, Jay Loves Kitti and Sparkey for your visits and your comments. I'll do my best to return the favor!

The day continues in a relatively positive fashion. I'm not as bouncy as I was this morning, but that's probably just due to being at work. You can never be quite as enthusiastic about life at work as you can when you're elsewhere (at least I can't).

More tales of the negotiator: Last night, my son was given one cookie. He looked at the cookie in his hand, said, "One?!" in a tone that indicated his complete indignation at being given a solitary pastry, walked to where the package of cookies sat on the cabinet, and said, "One, two, three!" Uh, no, I think not. He's a stinker, he is. I'm seriously hoping he doesn't grow up to contemplate a career in politics.

OK, I'm trying to link to a specific post - let's see if it works. Kitti wrote this in her blog, and I'm thinking maybe she said more what I was trying to say here than I did. Or maybe I did say it, kind of. I don't want to be weak, at least not on a regular basis (I realize that we all have moments of weakness). I like being able to take care of myself, and I like knowing I don't *have* to be completely reliant on a man to take care of me. But some days, it would be nice feeling like I didn't have to be in charge. K is a good man, and he can be really good in a crisis (I saw this demonstrated in a band-related incident back in March, I'll have to write about that later - he was great). But in general I'm the stronger personality, I think, and I think that leads to me taking more responsibility on a day-to-day basis. Did I take control away from K in some things? Probably. Did I do it intentionally? No. I think we both just fell into a pattern of having me take on a lot of the responsibilities, having both grown up in homes where our mothers took care of a lot of the household duties, and I didn't even realize I was doing so much until J was born and I had a little person there who genuinely, truly *couldn't* do for himself. But I think that even if we both realized that this is the case, I got so used to doing most things that it was hard for me to let go of that, and K got so used to having me do most things that it was hard for him to let me give some of them back to him. I could be all wrong on that, but that's my perception. Perhaps a good way to describe what I think would work best for me is someone who respects my independence and appreciates it without being intimidated by it or without assuming that my independence means I don't need or want help with anything.

Oh, one thing I forgot that was an annoyance yesterday but isn't quite so bad today. I'd mentioned my efforts to get money from my dependent care reimbursement account. I'd resubmitted my claim earlier this week, and thought I'd call yesterday to check on it. Imagine my surprise and irritation to be told, "Oh, it was denied - it looks like you didn't sign the form." Stinking hell, can no one there CALL and TELL me that something was done incorrectly?! Especially since this was the second time I'd submitted it? Yes, both times the mistakes made were mine, and they were pretty stupid mistakes. But what the hell kind of customer service is it to just deny a claim and never even tell the claimant that it's been denied or why?! And when it comes down to it, it's my freakin' money anyway, it came out of my paycheck, so just hand it over already. I was thoroughly annoyed about that last night, and I faxed the form again, properly signed this time, as soon as I got off the phone. I called this morning to check to make sure they'd gotten everything (and for what it's worth, I never had this much hassle with dependent care reimbursement at my previous job). They'd gotten the paperwork, and I asked the customer service rep about how long it would take to process it. She said, "Oh, this time of year it can take a while, usually a week or so." She must have heard me starting to grind my teeth, because she said she'd get it processed for me today, so that the money would be direct deposited in my account in 2 or 3 days. I told her I appreciated that, especially since I'd been trying to submit the claim for about three weeks now. Direct deposit is good, that's at least an improvement from my old job - there you had to wait for a check to come in the mail. At least now it should be in my account next week, which will be a welcome relief. You know, I am just beyond tired of rotten finances. Maybe I just need a sugar daddy. LOLOLOLOL (I joke, I joke!!!)

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