My child is finally asleep (up until almost 10:00 tonight, ugh), the laundry is mostly done, and lucky me, I get another day off before I have to face the work week. :-) It will be nice having tomorrow off, even if I've got some things to accomplish. I've got to find a white elephant gift for our team Christmas party on Tuesday, and make the stuff I said I'd bring. I've got to go pick out a mattress for J's big boy bed
I'm not sure what's up with K. Sometimes I talk to him and he sounds fairly OK, sometimes I talk to him and it's almost like he'd rather be talking to anyone else in the world *but* me, like he'd just as soon walk across the street and avoid talking to me altogether. I'm trying not to get too bent out of shape about it, but sometimes it's hard. I keep reminding myself, it's probably bound to happen, when the marriage is officially over, things may not stay on "best friend" terms. Not that I think we'll ever hate each other or anything like that, and I sure don't think we'll end up like my sister and her ex (he did horrible things just to be nasty to her, didn't give a fat damn how it affected his kids, and now they're old enough to see him for the pig-dog he really is - if he weren't such a weasel, I'd feel bad for him). But things are different, and it's an adjustment. Some days I wonder if we'd both be better off just going ahead and filing, having some resolution to all of this. Whatever happens, I don't want to let the limbo of separation drag out so long that we *do* get to where we can barely stand the sight of each other.
J is super, as always. Tonight when he was trying every delaying tactic in the book to avoid going to sleep, he looked at me and said, "Rock a baby," meaning he wanted me to hold him and sing Rock a Bye Baby. *sniffle* Of course he got five more minutes of awake time with that one! :-) So I rocked him and sang to him - he was so tired, his eyes were just rolling back in his head when I was rocking him, but he wasn't quite ready to give it up yet. I so seldom get to rock him anymore (he's getting so big, pretty soon it will be a real challenge for me to do so), and I thought that was the sweetest thing. That ranks right up there with "luv oo" and "MY ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma" as the sweetest things I've ever heard my baby boy say.
I've probably had lots of other stuff cross my mind over the past few days that I'd wanted to remember to write about, but it's gone now. Oh well, if it's important, it will come back. I'm going to go fold laundry while one last load dries, and then it's night-night for me, too.