Turns out I didn't have to work until 7:00 after all. The powers that be decided to close at 6:00 to allow everyone to get home safely, so those of us scheduled to stay late got to leave at their regular departure times. That meant I got to leave at 5:00. Yay, right? And not that I wasn't appreciative of not having to stay until 7:00. The only problem was, it started getting bad before 5:00.
My usually-45-minute commute took me almost two hours. I saw no less than six wrecks, and I counted the overpasses I went over on my way home (ten - yep, ten). My car slid on ice more than once, and all I could do was take my foot off the gas, hang on to the steering wheel so hard I thought my hands might melt into it, and pray that I stayed on the road. Thankfully, both the car and I made it home safely. K's work sensibly let their employees off at 2:00, *before* the weather got bad, so he was able to pick up J for me. Thank goodness for that - I wouldn't have made it to daycare until about half an hour after closing time.
So what's on the agenda for tomorrow? I'm supposed to go to work. Our official policy re: inclement weather is that if public transportation (the buses, at least) are running, then we're open. Pardon me if I think that's a bit silly. The drivers of the public transit buses around here are insane drivers on good days. I don't want to be on the roads with them if there's even a suggestion of ice to be found. I saw at least three of those buses involved in wrecks on my way home today. But the long and short of it is, if the office is officially open and I don't think I can make it to work (and I don't think I can - the bridges were already iced tonight, it's not getting above freezing before Friday, and I'll still have to drive over those bridges to get back to work), then I have to take a personal day to stay home. And if I do that, I'll be worried about getting even farther behind than I already am. UGH. I'm going to get up at the usual time and check the weather and my driveway (it tends to turn into a solid sheet of ice if the weather gets squirrelly), and I guess I'll go to work if I have to. I just hope no one holds it against me if it takes me two hours to get there in the morning.
And now, on a completely different note. I find myself wondering lately - do I have it in me to ever be really happy with anyone for the long term? I think of things I'd get annoyed with K for doing or not doing, and I wonder - was it K's actions that rubbed me the wrong way, was he truly inconsiderate of me at times, or was it just selfishness/not wanting to do for him on my part, would I eventually end up feeling that way about anyone? Is my personality such that I could ever gladly do things for my significant other without coming to resent that person or get annoyed with them for asking me to do things? I worry about that. What if the flaw is more with me than with the dynamic between K and me? I wonder if I'll end up alone, or if I'd be better off just staying that way, and thinking of staying alone makes me sad. I don't think I'd like that.
OK, enough of the deep thoughts and whining about work and ice and snow and such. It's late, I've got to get some sleep just in case I have to brave the freeways in the morning. Part of me almost hopes I just go on to work, so I don't get even farther behind (how sad is that, to have a job where you feel guilty for taking time off, even if it's time you're entitled to take or time you're taking for a really good reason), but part of me would really just like to stay home and drink hot chocolate and play with J. We'll see what happens.
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