Monday, December 06, 2004

Stages of divorce

I met my old college roomie for coffee on Friday - we had a good visit. She's been divorced about a year now, and she's now seeing what sounds like a really good guy. (He's an Aggie, and she and I went to Baylor, but if he makes her happy, she's willing to overlook that! LOL) She's positively googly with happiness. But I think happiness has made her think everyone should be so happy - she'd gotten a book at a divorce recovery workshop she went to, and she copied the chapter on separation and reconciliation for me. I appreciated the thought, but I think K and I are past that stage!

I flipped through it, though, and one thing that caught my attention was the part about stages of divorce. The materials said there are three stages to divorce: emotional, spiritual and legal. The emotional stage is where someone finally admits/recognizes that their marriage is over. I think K and I are both past that point - I know I am. At this point, I really don't know what we could do to put things back together, and I don't think that's what either of us wants anyway. So that leaves us to get past the spiritual and legal stages of divorce. The spiritual stage is referring to the fact that you made a vow before God, and that you should honor that vow even though the marriage may be emotionally over. It talked about having friends and support, but seemed to imply you were a horrible person and putting any future relationships at risk if you even thought about anything more than that. (The book was written from a Christian perspective, and I thought it was a little over the top on that point, but maybe that's just me. Not like I'm out running around looking to break my vows anyway.) And the legal stage is referring to the point where action is taken to legally dissolve the marriage. It made for interesting reading.

Half an hour until my review. Eek.


Jules said...

Go easy on the aggies, now. We can't help it.

Lisa said...

Ah, Sparkey, don't take it personally! ;-) Seriously, A&M is a good school. I was offered a good scholarship and almost went there, but decided it was just too big for a girl from a little bitty town in Louisiana to jump into. So any aspersions I may cast on Aggies are just part of my contractual obligation as a Baylor grad to do so! LOLOL