Yesterday was good - had J's follow-up with the allergist. He was amazingly good for that, a trip to Target, and most of a trip to the post office. He finally had a fit when we were leaving the post office, he saw a fire truck outside and didn't want to get in the car, he wanted to stay outside and see the fire truck. Never mind that it had already gone by! LOL No nap, of course, but we played with trucks and read and watched a little TV, and I cooked dinner, did some laundry and picked up a little bit.
Last night J looked at a spot where some of K's stuff used to be and made a comment about the stuff being gone. This is the first thing he's ever said about things being different, and it just about made me want to cry. That's what I hate the most about this, the impact it will/may/could have on J. I wonder sometimes if I'm selfishly putting my own interests above those of my son in getting out of my marriage, if maybe I'm not doing the best I can for him. But then I think, but how much good would it do him for mom and dad to stay together just for his sake, and then split up when he's 18? What kind of damage would *that* do? And what sort of example would he grow up with, being in a house where mom and dad are friends but nothing more? Not like that would be exactly an ideal environment, either. So logically I know it's the right move, but emotionally it just hurt to hear J say that.
My job makes me tired. I have no get-up-and-go, this place just sucks the life out of me. If it weren't for the people I work with, I think I'd have gone stark raving mad by now.
I have my quarterly one-on-one review meeting with my manager this afternoon, and I have to return a call to a disgruntled client. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
Weight loss update
I got on the scale for my weekly weigh-in on Sunday - down 6.4 pounds!!! Woo hoo!!!!!! It was a good week foodwise - not a lot of cheats, although I did have a few nibbles I shouldn't have had yesterday. I'm pleased. I already feel like my skirts fit better, and my middle feels less pudgy. So only 18 more pounds to get to the lowest weight I'd reached after my lap-band surgery, and then onward and downward to lose more weight still!!!!
I feel good enough now that I'm going to get back to working out of an evening. I'll get back on the treadmill - it's boring as all get out to me, but it's what I have handy and it's easy to do after J goes to sleep.
I can do this, I can, I can!!!!
I feel good enough now that I'm going to get back to working out of an evening. I'll get back on the treadmill - it's boring as all get out to me, but it's what I have handy and it's easy to do after J goes to sleep.
I can do this, I can, I can!!!!
And so begins another week
It was a decent weekend. J was such a good boy for me on Saturday. I had to go to the post office and to Target, and he told me no, he didn't want to go to the post office. I explained that I needed to go there and he could help me, and when I asked him if he'd be a good boy, he said he would. So he came in at the P.O. with me and was just fascinated by the idea of opening little boxes with little keys and getting stuff out. He wanted me to open all the mailboxes! LOL He helped me carry mail out to the car and was quite pleased with himself. Then we went to Target, and when he started to have a moment, I reminded him he'd said he'd be a good boy and told him what a help it was to mama that he was being so good, and he was fine after that. What a difference it makes not trying to shop with a wailing child - it was actually a nice outing! Of course, he threw a fit when he got home, as if to say, "Mama, I've been good all morning, now I simply MUST have a fit!" LOL
The weekend's big project: putting together the DVD/VHS holder I bought at Target. It wasn't too bad - I got it put together in about half an hour, and didn't even need the electric screwdriver. Just a Phillips screwdriver and a little bit of elbow grease, and ta da! A place to store all of J's DVDs and videos so they don't get stacked up on top of my new TV. Now, the trick is to keep J from pulling them all off and examining them. He's done pretty well with it, although he did keep taking different videos out right at first.
I also got the new TV hooked up, finally. It's GREAT!!!! Such a difference from my old TV, in picture and in sound. And I'm getting rid of the old one through Freecycle - what a great concept that is. It's a mailing list (you can search the site to see if there's one in your area) that lets you offer stuff you'd otherwise be getting rid of to other list members - no money changes hands, you just offer and whoever accepts comes to pick it up. If someone can use what you've got, you get what's junk to you off of your hands, someone else gets something they need, and it keeps a lot of old stuff out of landfills. I think it's a pretty neat concept. So far I've gotten rid of two crapped-out lawnmowers, a boatload of kitchen stuff, and now the TV. Next on the Freecycle list: the old washing machine....
And in keeping with the electronic theme, I also got my iPod! Woo hoo!!!!!!!! I didn't realize just how small it would be - it's pretty tiny. I've downloaded exactly one song to go on it - with dial-up, it takes about 20 minutes to download an average-length song. So I'll download what, one song a day for the next four or five years before I get it filled up? LOL Nah, I'm sure I'll put a lot of music I already have on there, but it is cool to be able to download all those songs I like but wouldn't want to buy a whole album just to have. Now I need a case for the iPod so it doesn't get scratched up. Wonder if there's an adapter that would let me run it through my car CD player? Must find out.
Talked to T on Saturday - we chatted for about an hour. It was a nice conversation. I just enjoy talking to him! No one is in any big rush to meet in person, and right now, that's good with me. It's nice just being able to get to know each other by talking first.
Now, it's time to work - I can't believe it's 10:30 already, where has the morning gone?! More later!
The weekend's big project: putting together the DVD/VHS holder I bought at Target. It wasn't too bad - I got it put together in about half an hour, and didn't even need the electric screwdriver. Just a Phillips screwdriver and a little bit of elbow grease, and ta da! A place to store all of J's DVDs and videos so they don't get stacked up on top of my new TV. Now, the trick is to keep J from pulling them all off and examining them. He's done pretty well with it, although he did keep taking different videos out right at first.
I also got the new TV hooked up, finally. It's GREAT!!!! Such a difference from my old TV, in picture and in sound. And I'm getting rid of the old one through Freecycle - what a great concept that is. It's a mailing list (you can search the site to see if there's one in your area) that lets you offer stuff you'd otherwise be getting rid of to other list members - no money changes hands, you just offer and whoever accepts comes to pick it up. If someone can use what you've got, you get what's junk to you off of your hands, someone else gets something they need, and it keeps a lot of old stuff out of landfills. I think it's a pretty neat concept. So far I've gotten rid of two crapped-out lawnmowers, a boatload of kitchen stuff, and now the TV. Next on the Freecycle list: the old washing machine....
And in keeping with the electronic theme, I also got my iPod! Woo hoo!!!!!!!! I didn't realize just how small it would be - it's pretty tiny. I've downloaded exactly one song to go on it - with dial-up, it takes about 20 minutes to download an average-length song. So I'll download what, one song a day for the next four or five years before I get it filled up? LOL Nah, I'm sure I'll put a lot of music I already have on there, but it is cool to be able to download all those songs I like but wouldn't want to buy a whole album just to have. Now I need a case for the iPod so it doesn't get scratched up. Wonder if there's an adapter that would let me run it through my car CD player? Must find out.
Talked to T on Saturday - we chatted for about an hour. It was a nice conversation. I just enjoy talking to him! No one is in any big rush to meet in person, and right now, that's good with me. It's nice just being able to get to know each other by talking first.
Now, it's time to work - I can't believe it's 10:30 already, where has the morning gone?! More later!
Friday, May 13, 2005
Friday.
I still feel moderately crappy. I did go to the doctor yesterday - oh, surprise, another sinus infection. Did you know liquid Augmentin tastes pretty nasty? If all liquid antibiotics taste this bad, no wonder J balks at taking them.
Really, not a lot is going on right now. I'm just trying to make it through the work day and waiting for my meds to kick in, so I can start feeling better.
Really, not a lot is going on right now. I'm just trying to make it through the work day and waiting for my meds to kick in, so I can start feeling better.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Moving up!
J has moved up to the three-year-old room at daycare! I can't believe he's getting to be such a big boy. *sniffle* I noticed yesterday that all the kids in his class, with the exception of one boy who's a week younger than Julian and who's new to the daycare, are at least four months younger than he is. Some of them are almost a full year younger than he is, and at this age, that's a big gap in terms of development. So I'd thought about asking the director when he could move up - he's not quite three, but he likes the teacher in the three-year-old class.
J's regular teacher has been out this week, recovering from minor surgery. He's been less than enthused about going to class in her absence. This morning he was asking to go to the three-year-old class before we even got to school. The director was at the front desk this morning, so I told her about Julian's interest in moving up, explained the age gap between him and the other children in the two-year-old class and that all his little buddies he's come up with have already moved up, and asked if he could go to that class for the morning if not go ahead and move up. The director seemed surprised that J was so enthusiastic about the move, but said that perhaps that's why he's been not so happy with his regular teacher out this week - he likes her, but doesn't fit well with the rest of the class. She said the three-year-old room had an opening that had just become available yesterday, so J could move up starting today! Woo hoo!!!!!!! He may be one of the youngest in the class, but he's bigger than most of the kids, and I know he's smarter than most - he's one of the two children in that group (they've been mostly together since the Infant II room, age 12-18 months) who's consistently been interested in the learning activities. So I think he'll do really well there, being with a teacher he likes and with all his familiar buddies.
In other news: getting back to a better eating plan has paid off - I'm down 3.4 pounds so far! :) I know it's probably all water weight at this point, but still, it's good to see the scale going down again. I haven't exercised the past two nights, because I feel like a hammered cow pie - hard to get excited about working out when you can't breathe through your nose. I'm going to do my weight training, though - I can do that even though I'm congested. I'd like to lose at least 10-15 pounds before I go back to see my surgeon, so hopefully he won't yell *too* much. LOL Surprisingly, it's been easy for me to stick to the WOE so far - I haven't even had any Somersize-legal desserts, much less bad sugary treats, because I just haven't had a craving for sweets. VERY unusual for me, but hey, I'll take it and say thank you as long as it lasts.
J's regular teacher has been out this week, recovering from minor surgery. He's been less than enthused about going to class in her absence. This morning he was asking to go to the three-year-old class before we even got to school. The director was at the front desk this morning, so I told her about Julian's interest in moving up, explained the age gap between him and the other children in the two-year-old class and that all his little buddies he's come up with have already moved up, and asked if he could go to that class for the morning if not go ahead and move up. The director seemed surprised that J was so enthusiastic about the move, but said that perhaps that's why he's been not so happy with his regular teacher out this week - he likes her, but doesn't fit well with the rest of the class. She said the three-year-old room had an opening that had just become available yesterday, so J could move up starting today! Woo hoo!!!!!!! He may be one of the youngest in the class, but he's bigger than most of the kids, and I know he's smarter than most - he's one of the two children in that group (they've been mostly together since the Infant II room, age 12-18 months) who's consistently been interested in the learning activities. So I think he'll do really well there, being with a teacher he likes and with all his familiar buddies.
In other news: getting back to a better eating plan has paid off - I'm down 3.4 pounds so far! :) I know it's probably all water weight at this point, but still, it's good to see the scale going down again. I haven't exercised the past two nights, because I feel like a hammered cow pie - hard to get excited about working out when you can't breathe through your nose. I'm going to do my weight training, though - I can do that even though I'm congested. I'd like to lose at least 10-15 pounds before I go back to see my surgeon, so hopefully he won't yell *too* much. LOL Surprisingly, it's been easy for me to stick to the WOE so far - I haven't even had any Somersize-legal desserts, much less bad sugary treats, because I just haven't had a craving for sweets. VERY unusual for me, but hey, I'll take it and say thank you as long as it lasts.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
How could I forget?!
Happy Mother's Day to me! J got mama a spa gift certificate - pedicure and massage, here I come! :) I treated myself (finally) to an iPod - it should be here in a week or so. And I bought some new dishes (the old ones have this ridiculous country scene on them, I've had them for 15 years or so, it was time for them to go). Wonder how I'm going to find a way to top that for my birthday? LOL
Ugh.
I feel like Snots the dog in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I'm suffering through yet another round of allergies/sinus/cold/whatever the hell it is I've got. How can my nose simultaneously be congested *and* running? One of the great mysteries of life....
Other than the snot, it's just another day in paradise. :)
Other than the snot, it's just another day in paradise. :)
Monday, May 09, 2005
Still here!
I didn't realize how long it had been since I posted!
Life is pretty much rocking along. Nothing too major has happened. I deal with almost-3-year-old tantrums on a daily basis - seems like anything can set them off, and running errands is just a delight and a joy. (Note sarcasm.) Seems like J is good for about three minutes at wherever I need to go, and then he goes into combustion mode. *SIGH* It doesn't seem to matter if I run errands early, after work, weeknights, weekends, he just has a fit whenever we have to do something outside of his routine. Please tell me this gets better as he gets older!
Work is work. I'm about half sick today - not sure if it's allergies or a cold or sinuses or what, but I've dragged myself in feeling puny. Blech.
I've gotten back on an eating plan I tried several years ago, Somersizing. Basically it's food combining - you eat proteins/fats separate from carbs (veggies go with either), and there are a few "funky foods" to be avoided altogether. I lost about 38 pounds on it a few years ago, so I know it will help. I didn't have lap-band surgery to have that be just another failed weight-loss effort, so dammit, I WILL get the weight off. I want to lose a little bit before I go back to see my surgeon to have the band adjusted - I'd like to at least get back down to where I was the last time I saw him, maybe then he won't fuss at me quite as much. I started Saturday night, and I'm doing well so far. I must be serious about it, I tossed out an almost-full container of chocolate peanut butter ice cream! LOLOL And I'm going to work out regularly - if the only time I have is after J goes to bed, then that's the time I'll use. Y'all have my permission to ask me regularly how I'm doing, and to kick my butt if I'm not sticking with it. :)
Relationship matters - things are rocking along. An entertaining conversation with K - he's thinking about getting a house in a year or two, which I think is a great thing. I'd love to see him have a place of his own rather than having to rent. He was looking on realtor.com and found that there are some nice little houses, enough for what he'd want, in the area that would cost less than or about the same as what rent runs. There's the home equity loan on my house, which is considered community property at this point. He'd asked me if I thought that would affect his ability to get a loan, and I said that if there was a court order legally designating the debt as mine, I didn't think it could be used against him. He saw the kinds of houses that are available out there, and he asked (jokingly, I think! LOL), "Hey, can we sign those papers right now?" LOL I'm glad he's thinking of his future, and glad that we get along well enough that we can talk about things and joke about things. And I think if we know there's no chance of patching our marriage up (and at this point, I don't think there is a chance - we'd have started working in that direction by now if we were going to), hey, I'm all for hammering out the details and signing papers sooner rather than later - what purpose would be served in continuing for too long in the limbo of separation?
I've been talking to someone I met on one of the meet-and-greet sites, I'll call him T. We've talked mostly via e-mail, and one phone conversation. It's been fun talking to him, and I like that he's willing to get to know each other through e-mail and telephone calls first, and not necessarily wanting to get together in person right away. Certainly nothing serious right now, just some entertaining conversation and sort of seeing what direction things might go down the road. We'll see!
As for C, ha, he's completely buggered off. You know what? I seriously don't care. If I were to get divorced from K tomorrow and C were to come back interested once I was truly a free woman, I'd tell him to go soak his head. I don't need the misery of someone who apparently has a lot of growing up to do and isn't quite sure what he wants.
There, I think that's it in a nutshell. :) I'll try to update more frequently, and maybe actually get to visit other people occasionally!
Life is pretty much rocking along. Nothing too major has happened. I deal with almost-3-year-old tantrums on a daily basis - seems like anything can set them off, and running errands is just a delight and a joy. (Note sarcasm.) Seems like J is good for about three minutes at wherever I need to go, and then he goes into combustion mode. *SIGH* It doesn't seem to matter if I run errands early, after work, weeknights, weekends, he just has a fit whenever we have to do something outside of his routine. Please tell me this gets better as he gets older!
Work is work. I'm about half sick today - not sure if it's allergies or a cold or sinuses or what, but I've dragged myself in feeling puny. Blech.
I've gotten back on an eating plan I tried several years ago, Somersizing. Basically it's food combining - you eat proteins/fats separate from carbs (veggies go with either), and there are a few "funky foods" to be avoided altogether. I lost about 38 pounds on it a few years ago, so I know it will help. I didn't have lap-band surgery to have that be just another failed weight-loss effort, so dammit, I WILL get the weight off. I want to lose a little bit before I go back to see my surgeon to have the band adjusted - I'd like to at least get back down to where I was the last time I saw him, maybe then he won't fuss at me quite as much. I started Saturday night, and I'm doing well so far. I must be serious about it, I tossed out an almost-full container of chocolate peanut butter ice cream! LOLOL And I'm going to work out regularly - if the only time I have is after J goes to bed, then that's the time I'll use. Y'all have my permission to ask me regularly how I'm doing, and to kick my butt if I'm not sticking with it. :)
Relationship matters - things are rocking along. An entertaining conversation with K - he's thinking about getting a house in a year or two, which I think is a great thing. I'd love to see him have a place of his own rather than having to rent. He was looking on realtor.com and found that there are some nice little houses, enough for what he'd want, in the area that would cost less than or about the same as what rent runs. There's the home equity loan on my house, which is considered community property at this point. He'd asked me if I thought that would affect his ability to get a loan, and I said that if there was a court order legally designating the debt as mine, I didn't think it could be used against him. He saw the kinds of houses that are available out there, and he asked (jokingly, I think! LOL), "Hey, can we sign those papers right now?" LOL I'm glad he's thinking of his future, and glad that we get along well enough that we can talk about things and joke about things. And I think if we know there's no chance of patching our marriage up (and at this point, I don't think there is a chance - we'd have started working in that direction by now if we were going to), hey, I'm all for hammering out the details and signing papers sooner rather than later - what purpose would be served in continuing for too long in the limbo of separation?
I've been talking to someone I met on one of the meet-and-greet sites, I'll call him T. We've talked mostly via e-mail, and one phone conversation. It's been fun talking to him, and I like that he's willing to get to know each other through e-mail and telephone calls first, and not necessarily wanting to get together in person right away. Certainly nothing serious right now, just some entertaining conversation and sort of seeing what direction things might go down the road. We'll see!
As for C, ha, he's completely buggered off. You know what? I seriously don't care. If I were to get divorced from K tomorrow and C were to come back interested once I was truly a free woman, I'd tell him to go soak his head. I don't need the misery of someone who apparently has a lot of growing up to do and isn't quite sure what he wants.
There, I think that's it in a nutshell. :) I'll try to update more frequently, and maybe actually get to visit other people occasionally!
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Am I weird?
I've wondered this quite a bit recently. I mentioned in my recent post how I'd rather have known straight up what was going on with C, if it is in fact something different or more than what he told me. Am I weird? Guys, offer your opinions here - do men tend to hold back with women when there are unpleasant things to talk about because they're afraid we'll just nut out? In your experience, would most women *not* prefer the direct approach? If I have to hear something I don't like, sure, I might get upset. I might cry a little (although these days, I'm just about as likely to throw things and yell as I am to cry). But I'd much, much rather have someone just be straight up with me, even if it might not be something I want to hear or deal with, than pussyfoot around and try to spare my feelings - just out with it, so I can have my moment and then move on. Are women, generally speaking, not like that? Maybe I was a man in a former life or something. I'm fairly unlike a lot of women I know, from what I've seen.
Today's big fun activity, since I'm home by myself - I made candles! This is a little hobby of mine I don't get to indulge too often, and I've made a dozen votives with a vanilla bourbon scent. Yummy. If I could ever find the time to make a lot, I'd sell them. Maybe someday!
Sure enough, J woke up howling at 5:50 this morning. Ugh. He got back in bed for a little while, woke up screaming again, wanted to rock, and then asked for his blanket and fell asleep on the sofa. LOL He later moved himself to the floor and slept there. Silly boy, the bed would have been much more comfortable.
I'm off to run more errands and have lunch with one of my girlfriends. More later!
Today's big fun activity, since I'm home by myself - I made candles! This is a little hobby of mine I don't get to indulge too often, and I've made a dozen votives with a vanilla bourbon scent. Yummy. If I could ever find the time to make a lot, I'd sell them. Maybe someday!
Sure enough, J woke up howling at 5:50 this morning. Ugh. He got back in bed for a little while, woke up screaming again, wanted to rock, and then asked for his blanket and fell asleep on the sofa. LOL He later moved himself to the floor and slept there. Silly boy, the bed would have been much more comfortable.
I'm off to run more errands and have lunch with one of my girlfriends. More later!
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
A better day
Yesterday absolutely sucked rocks. It was one of those days at work where it felt like everything I touched turned to shit, and I was just tired - tired of relationship stress, tired of having a job that made me feel stupid and incompetent at every turn, tired of the universe thinking I needed yet more growth and character-building experiences on an hourly basis.
Today was much better. :) I had a couple of things that had to be tended to at work, but they went better than expected. And I stayed late on a conference call with my manager - hope he was looking at his watch to see how long I was there! LOL K picked J up from daycare for me, so I was glad of that. I would have gotten there by 6:30 (the time daycare officially closes), but I hate for him to be there that late if it can be avoided. Today was one of those days, workwise, that makes me feel like I *can* get a grip on this job, I *can* do well if I just stick it out and keep trying. It's one of those days that makes me wonder if I shouldn't just give myself a little more of a chance to get better at it.
Oh, and speaking of things that suck - remember me talking about C way back when? The guy who kissed me last summer, then ran off, then took a month after mentioning it to ask me to dinner? He's buggered off again. We went to dinner the one time, talked a good bit...and then poof, he suddenly disappeared. ??? He finally called after dropping off the planet for about three weeks and said he just wanted to keep things casual, do the Internet dating thing, see what was out there. He said his ex-fiance was his first serious relationship, and he wasn't saying he wanted to sow his wild oats or anything, but he wanted to see what was out there (I thought, oh, you do too want to sow your wild oats, just call it like it is). OK, fine. I knew I wasn't in a position yet to be committed to anything, and I'm not sure I'd jump feet first into a commitment even if I was totally free right now - I'd like some time to just be me for a bit before I'm part of "Lisa and so-and-so". And I certainly wasn't expecting that he was limiting himself to seeing me, given that things aren't settled with me and K yet - I figured it *was* casual, shows you what I know. He said he was glad he could be honest with me, and he said he hoped he'd get a chance to see me soon. OK, great, let's just keep it light, keep it casual, no big deal. I saw his profile on one of the meet-and-greet sites, and sent him a little note just saying hi. After a period of days had passed (this was about three weeks after we'd had the "keep it casual" conversation), he wrote me back and said something along the lines of, good to see a familiar face, etc. He then said he was seeing someone else he'd met on another site - they were pretty serious, but taking things slowly. WTF?! In three weeks you can go from "seeing what's out there" to "pretty serious" about someone?! That just floors me. (And is it just me, or does the "I'm seeing someone else" sound like a total blow-off? I'm not even sure we have a friendship anymore, and we'd been friends for what, four or five years before this?) I figure one of three things happened: 1) he was seeing this person while he and I were hanging out and decided to pursue things with her (which would have been fine, and I would have much preferred to be told that straight up if that were the case), 2) he went off me for some reason I don't know and didn't have the balls to tell me (in which case he wouldn't have been honest with me, which chaps me - don't say you're glad you can be honest with me if you aren't *being* honest), or 3) he's a bit emotionally immature and tends to fixate easily, much like baby chicks bond to the first thing they see as "mama", and he did that with me and then nutted out about the fact that I'm not officially free yet. I wrote back and told him I was a bit surprised he was using the word "serious" about anyone, but if he was happy, hey, good for him, and I'd talk to him later. I haven't heard a thing since then. Whatever the reality, this lightspeed disappearance just confirms for me that there could never be anything long-term there. I don't need a man who hasn't grown up yet, and I don't think he has. I deserve better! I was stung a little at first, but then progressed to mildly annoyed, and now I'm indifferent. Lots of other fish in the sea, right?
Maybe guys my age just aren't what I need. I took a test on one of these little personality sites - something like "what's your real age" - and it told me I'm really 50 (or was it 48? Either way, it was something a lot older than my actual age). LOL So maybe I'd do better with older men!
I'm annoyed. The CD player in my car is useless right now - I've gotten a CD stuck in it. It won't come out, but also won't go back in to where I can at least listen to that CD. So I may have to take it to the dealership and lay out serious cash to get it fixed. Just what I need, after I already paid them a ton to do routine service, fix my driver's side window, and a few other maintenance-type things. I'd thought about just yanking the CD out with needlenose pliers, if I could get a grip on it (it comes out far enough that I can see the edge, but not to where it actually sticks out), but I'd be afraid I'd really screw something up then. Dammit. No more loud music in the car, not with just the radio - you know how that goes, you catch a good song halfway through, and then the next 15 minutes are either crap or commercials. *SIGH*
I've got to get some sleep. I'm taking Thursday and Friday off work, so it's not quite as imperative that J and I are up at the butt crack of dawn, but my luck, tomorrow he'll be up at 5:00 saying, "HEY, mama!" and ready to go (this from the child who, for the past two days, has told me, "no, go 'way, I want to sleep some more" when I've gone to get him out of bed - imagine what the teenage years will be like!).
Today was much better. :) I had a couple of things that had to be tended to at work, but they went better than expected. And I stayed late on a conference call with my manager - hope he was looking at his watch to see how long I was there! LOL K picked J up from daycare for me, so I was glad of that. I would have gotten there by 6:30 (the time daycare officially closes), but I hate for him to be there that late if it can be avoided. Today was one of those days, workwise, that makes me feel like I *can* get a grip on this job, I *can* do well if I just stick it out and keep trying. It's one of those days that makes me wonder if I shouldn't just give myself a little more of a chance to get better at it.
Oh, and speaking of things that suck - remember me talking about C way back when? The guy who kissed me last summer, then ran off, then took a month after mentioning it to ask me to dinner? He's buggered off again. We went to dinner the one time, talked a good bit...and then poof, he suddenly disappeared. ??? He finally called after dropping off the planet for about three weeks and said he just wanted to keep things casual, do the Internet dating thing, see what was out there. He said his ex-fiance was his first serious relationship, and he wasn't saying he wanted to sow his wild oats or anything, but he wanted to see what was out there (I thought, oh, you do too want to sow your wild oats, just call it like it is). OK, fine. I knew I wasn't in a position yet to be committed to anything, and I'm not sure I'd jump feet first into a commitment even if I was totally free right now - I'd like some time to just be me for a bit before I'm part of "Lisa and so-and-so". And I certainly wasn't expecting that he was limiting himself to seeing me, given that things aren't settled with me and K yet - I figured it *was* casual, shows you what I know. He said he was glad he could be honest with me, and he said he hoped he'd get a chance to see me soon. OK, great, let's just keep it light, keep it casual, no big deal. I saw his profile on one of the meet-and-greet sites, and sent him a little note just saying hi. After a period of days had passed (this was about three weeks after we'd had the "keep it casual" conversation), he wrote me back and said something along the lines of, good to see a familiar face, etc. He then said he was seeing someone else he'd met on another site - they were pretty serious, but taking things slowly. WTF?! In three weeks you can go from "seeing what's out there" to "pretty serious" about someone?! That just floors me. (And is it just me, or does the "I'm seeing someone else" sound like a total blow-off? I'm not even sure we have a friendship anymore, and we'd been friends for what, four or five years before this?) I figure one of three things happened: 1) he was seeing this person while he and I were hanging out and decided to pursue things with her (which would have been fine, and I would have much preferred to be told that straight up if that were the case), 2) he went off me for some reason I don't know and didn't have the balls to tell me (in which case he wouldn't have been honest with me, which chaps me - don't say you're glad you can be honest with me if you aren't *being* honest), or 3) he's a bit emotionally immature and tends to fixate easily, much like baby chicks bond to the first thing they see as "mama", and he did that with me and then nutted out about the fact that I'm not officially free yet. I wrote back and told him I was a bit surprised he was using the word "serious" about anyone, but if he was happy, hey, good for him, and I'd talk to him later. I haven't heard a thing since then. Whatever the reality, this lightspeed disappearance just confirms for me that there could never be anything long-term there. I don't need a man who hasn't grown up yet, and I don't think he has. I deserve better! I was stung a little at first, but then progressed to mildly annoyed, and now I'm indifferent. Lots of other fish in the sea, right?
Maybe guys my age just aren't what I need. I took a test on one of these little personality sites - something like "what's your real age" - and it told me I'm really 50 (or was it 48? Either way, it was something a lot older than my actual age). LOL So maybe I'd do better with older men!
I'm annoyed. The CD player in my car is useless right now - I've gotten a CD stuck in it. It won't come out, but also won't go back in to where I can at least listen to that CD. So I may have to take it to the dealership and lay out serious cash to get it fixed. Just what I need, after I already paid them a ton to do routine service, fix my driver's side window, and a few other maintenance-type things. I'd thought about just yanking the CD out with needlenose pliers, if I could get a grip on it (it comes out far enough that I can see the edge, but not to where it actually sticks out), but I'd be afraid I'd really screw something up then. Dammit. No more loud music in the car, not with just the radio - you know how that goes, you catch a good song halfway through, and then the next 15 minutes are either crap or commercials. *SIGH*
I've got to get some sleep. I'm taking Thursday and Friday off work, so it's not quite as imperative that J and I are up at the butt crack of dawn, but my luck, tomorrow he'll be up at 5:00 saying, "HEY, mama!" and ready to go (this from the child who, for the past two days, has told me, "no, go 'way, I want to sleep some more" when I've gone to get him out of bed - imagine what the teenage years will be like!).
Friday, April 15, 2005
Checking out the stats
I see from looking at my stats that someone from the Department of Justice has stopped by. Hi! Know of any attorney jobs with the DOJ in the Dallas area? LOL
It's always fun looking at the stats and seeing where people come from. It just boggles my mind that people in far-off places like Russia can read my little ol' blog.
It's always fun looking at the stats and seeing where people come from. It just boggles my mind that people in far-off places like Russia can read my little ol' blog.
Woo!!!
Today's online fortune cookie:
"Now is a good time to explore."
In bed?! Woo!!! ;-)
It's Friday, and I'm glad. I stayed home yesterday because I was feeling puny, but I could still use another day or two off. I have so much that I could do in my house, so much to organize, so much to clean out.
I'm sugar-overloaded right now - we had a bake sale to raise money for March of Dimes today, and I ate waaaaaay too much chocolate. Ugh. :-p I think I should go home and work out.
More later!
"Now is a good time to explore."
In bed?! Woo!!! ;-)
It's Friday, and I'm glad. I stayed home yesterday because I was feeling puny, but I could still use another day or two off. I have so much that I could do in my house, so much to organize, so much to clean out.
I'm sugar-overloaded right now - we had a bake sale to raise money for March of Dimes today, and I ate waaaaaay too much chocolate. Ugh. :-p I think I should go home and work out.
More later!
Monday, April 11, 2005
Oh, to live where there's DSL....
You know, I like living where I do. It's nice not to have to deal with big-city traffic every time I leave my house. I like being two minutes from the grocery store and five minutes from the post office. But why, oh why, so close to one of the biggest cities in the country, can't I get something other than freakin' DIAL-UP?!?!
The home computer is finally set up, and I love it! It's worlds better than the old one (which I plan to revamp and pass on to J as his first computer - I figure he can't hurt it, and he can just bang away on it to his heart's content). But why, oh why can't I live somewhere with some way to get online other than dial-up?!?! No cable internet, no DSL where I live - I've looked and looked, and all I find that covers my area is dial-up. The new computer is much, much faster than the old, yet I'm still hampered by the fact that our local access number only connects at 28.8 KBps. *SIGH* I got all excited, thinking I could download some music and make really fun mix CD's. Imagine my disappointment, after creating this great playlist, to get a message saying it could take several HOURS to download music via a dial-up connection. *SIGH* So I'll try it on a weekend, when I can keep running in there and checking to make sure the connection hasn't gone kablooey and when it doesn't matter if the computer is tied up for several hours at a time (I wasn't going to stay up until the wee small hours last night waiting on a CD to finish). I live outside one of the biggest cities in the U.S., and said city is getting closer to my town every day. And all I can get is crappy dial-up?!?! Oh, wait, I forgot - I could get satellite Internet, it comes out to where I live. It's only $59.95-69.95 a month, not too bad. Until you find out you'd have to shell out close to $1000 for hardware and installation. I think not.
The home computer is finally set up, and I love it! It's worlds better than the old one (which I plan to revamp and pass on to J as his first computer - I figure he can't hurt it, and he can just bang away on it to his heart's content). But why, oh why can't I live somewhere with some way to get online other than dial-up?!?! No cable internet, no DSL where I live - I've looked and looked, and all I find that covers my area is dial-up. The new computer is much, much faster than the old, yet I'm still hampered by the fact that our local access number only connects at 28.8 KBps. *SIGH* I got all excited, thinking I could download some music and make really fun mix CD's. Imagine my disappointment, after creating this great playlist, to get a message saying it could take several HOURS to download music via a dial-up connection. *SIGH* So I'll try it on a weekend, when I can keep running in there and checking to make sure the connection hasn't gone kablooey and when it doesn't matter if the computer is tied up for several hours at a time (I wasn't going to stay up until the wee small hours last night waiting on a CD to finish). I live outside one of the biggest cities in the U.S., and said city is getting closer to my town every day. And all I can get is crappy dial-up?!?! Oh, wait, I forgot - I could get satellite Internet, it comes out to where I live. It's only $59.95-69.95 a month, not too bad. Until you find out you'd have to shell out close to $1000 for hardware and installation. I think not.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Car repairs and other miscellanea
I took my car to the shop yesterday - thought I needed new brakes, and I had a couple of other things I wanted to get taken care of if the cost wasn't outrageous. It turned out that my brakes are OK (I have a lot more brake pad left than I thought, that's for sure!), but at some point fairly soon I'll need new hub bearings on both sides of the car, to the tune of $480 a side. Apparently my wheels are designed in such a way that the bearings can't just be repacked - instead the whole hub has to be replaced. UGH. So I guess I'll start saving my pennies for that. I ended up getting my driver's side window fixed (it rolls down now - not essential, but it will certainly be a nice convenience to have it back), the regularly recommended 90,000-mile maintenance, a new license plate light (mine has been broken since I got the car) and a serious car cleaning. My car was so clean when I picked it up, I almost didn't recognize it! And when J saw it, he pointed to the wheels and said, "mama, those wheels not dirty anymore." I think he was amazed that they'd changed from dirt-colored to silver. LOL Nice to know things are in pretty good working order - the car is paid for now, and I'd like to drive it until the wheels fall off.
This can't be good, and it's certainly out of character. I don't care about food much these days. I know I need to eat, but I don't care what I have. I'd be just as happy with a mocha latte from Starbucks for lunch as I would with actual food, most days. It's like I just can't muster up the energy to bother fixing something, so I usually end up eating junk. Not good at all!
I've got a phone call to make that I'm not looking forward to. I guess I should make it and just get it over with. Maybe it won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be....
This can't be good, and it's certainly out of character. I don't care about food much these days. I know I need to eat, but I don't care what I have. I'd be just as happy with a mocha latte from Starbucks for lunch as I would with actual food, most days. It's like I just can't muster up the energy to bother fixing something, so I usually end up eating junk. Not good at all!
I've got a phone call to make that I'm not looking forward to. I guess I should make it and just get it over with. Maybe it won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be....
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Palm readings and whatnot
One of my co-workers reads palms, and a few days ago she graciously agreed to read mine, along with a few other people's. Here are a few tidbits of what she said:
*I'm bossy and independent. (Me? Never! LOL)
*I'm confident in my abilities, if someone puts me down I may have a moment of self-doubt, but I don't stay down for long.
*I could do with sufficient sleep - I function better when I get 7-8 good hours. (Funny, I always thought I did all right on 5-6. LOL)
*I'm a rolling stone, won't stay in one place.
*My family tends to interfere in my business. (If I lived closer to home, you bet they would.)
*I tend to put men up on a pedestal, have an ideal that I hold them to.
*I'm ditching one man, but will find someone else.
*I'm very intelligent. (She asked if my IQ was about 140 or 150, and it's tested at anywhere from 140 to 160.)
*I'll face a physical issue in mid-life, but I'll come out of it all right.
*I'm not a good liar.
*I like to spend money (and no, she couldn't guess that by my clothes and jewelry - my clothes are crap, and my jewelry is all costume! LOL).
Pretty cool, and quite accurate!
In other news, the new computer has arrived! I hope to have it up and running pretty soon. I've got to reconnect the CD burner to the old one and copy some things onto a CD that I want to keep and/or transfer. But once I get that done, hopefully I can get the new one set up. I'm real curious to see how much faster it goes than the old one, see how much difference a faster processor and more memory can make.
This day is almost over, and I am SO glad. I'm pooped!!!
*I'm bossy and independent. (Me? Never! LOL)
*I'm confident in my abilities, if someone puts me down I may have a moment of self-doubt, but I don't stay down for long.
*I could do with sufficient sleep - I function better when I get 7-8 good hours. (Funny, I always thought I did all right on 5-6. LOL)
*I'm a rolling stone, won't stay in one place.
*My family tends to interfere in my business. (If I lived closer to home, you bet they would.)
*I tend to put men up on a pedestal, have an ideal that I hold them to.
*I'm ditching one man, but will find someone else.
*I'm very intelligent. (She asked if my IQ was about 140 or 150, and it's tested at anywhere from 140 to 160.)
*I'll face a physical issue in mid-life, but I'll come out of it all right.
*I'm not a good liar.
*I like to spend money (and no, she couldn't guess that by my clothes and jewelry - my clothes are crap, and my jewelry is all costume! LOL).
Pretty cool, and quite accurate!
In other news, the new computer has arrived! I hope to have it up and running pretty soon. I've got to reconnect the CD burner to the old one and copy some things onto a CD that I want to keep and/or transfer. But once I get that done, hopefully I can get the new one set up. I'm real curious to see how much faster it goes than the old one, see how much difference a faster processor and more memory can make.
This day is almost over, and I am SO glad. I'm pooped!!!
Wow, some fortune!
Today's online fortune cookie:
"People are naturally attracted to you."
Woo hoo!!! Add "in bed" to that, and you've got a REALLY good time! LOLOLOL
"People are naturally attracted to you."
Woo hoo!!! Add "in bed" to that, and you've got a REALLY good time! LOLOLOL
Monday, April 04, 2005
Fun with the J-man
Well, yesterday was the big day of Thomas that wasn't. We were supposed to go see Thomas the Tank Engine, and J was excited about going to see Thomas all day Saturday - he'd tell people he was going to ride on big Thomas. We all went yesterday - me, J and K. J was excited yesterday morning, bouncing and squirming in the backseat and talking about big Thomas. He was happy when we put him into the stroller - up until we were just about out of the parking lot. Then he suddenly started just howling and sobbing, saying he wanted to go home. We hadn't even seen Thomas at this point, so it wasn't like he got freaked out by Thomas being life-sized. But he was having none of any of it - said he didn't want to ride big Thomas, didn't want to have his picture made, he wanted to go home. At one point K and I took him out of the stroller, and he was just about ready to run out in traffic to get back to the car, that's how much he didn't want to go. He never wavered, so it wasn't like he was going back and forth between wanting to go and not wanting to go. He just DIDN'T WANT to go. So we decided there was no point in forcing it, no point in dragging J in screaming like a banshee. We drove by the depot on our way out, and J got to see Thomas - he still said he didn't want to ride, he wanted to go home. He was greatly cheered by the prospect of a trip to Target and eating at IHOP, though - K asked him if he wanted to go to IHOP and have eggs and pancakes, and J said, "And bacon!" So I'm not sure what caused it, but he was not interested in the day out with Thomas. Oh well, maybe next year. It was pretty funny, all the other kids were going in in their strollers happy as larks at the prospect of riding the train, and J was screaming like he was being dipped in boiling oil. At least it was a nice day for a drive in the car.
And the meltdown fun continued. We went to Target, that was fine. Went out for Mexican for lunch - J loved it, he ate the hot sauce with a spoon, like it was soup. Then we went to Toys R Us, because they have a lot of the Thomas wooden railway stuff. And there J went into indecisive toddler mode. He wanted Elizabeth, the quarry truck - then, "I no like her, I want Diesel 10." Got Diesel 10 - "I no like him." Finally he settled on Lady and the Sodor fire trucks, and K and I picked out a wooden railway starter set. Then J saw a train table set up, and nearly lost his mind - he *had* to get out of the buggy and play with it, and he declared he wanted one of his own (I'm thinking birthday). Then on the way out, he started crying when we had to wait in line - he was insistent that we pay for our things and go RIGHT NOW.
And once we got home, he played with his new toys just fine for a while. Then he wanted Diesel 10 and the quarry truck, and I explained to him that we'd left them at the store, we could get them the next time we went. TOTAL fit. J ran for the garage door, screaming that he wanted Diesel 10, wanted in mama's truck, wanted to put his shoes on RIGHT NOW. Finally I told him we weren't going, end of story, we could get the train next time we went, and he could just sit there and scream until it was out of his system, because we weren't going back to the store today. And eventually he gave it up and went on with his afternoon. But ugh, that was tiring.
J has apparently picked up a new word at daycare. He came home on Friday and announced, "He's a poopyhead!" I asked him who was, and he said, "Austin - he bit me." I then asked him who he heard "poopyhead" from, and he said, "Manuel." Big surprise there. But he said that word all night long, despite being told repeatedly that it wasn't nice to call someone that. I decided to just ignore it, figuring that the more I freaked out over it, the more likely he was to say it, just for my reaction. Seems to have worked - we didn't hear "poopyhead" at all yesterday. (This after he said last night, "Poopyhead's in the bed", and I pointed out to him that he was the only one in the bed, so who's the poopyhead? ) No, we got a new phrase last night. J dropped a toy, and promptly said, "Oh, crap." Then he said it again - and again, and again. "Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap." I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud. It just sounded so funny coming from him. And there again, I figure if I make a big deal about it being a "bad" word at this point, he'll keep saying it for the reaction. I'm just glad it wasn't anything worse than "crap" - you try not to slip up in front of your kids, but sometimes those words you don't want them to learn quite yet pop out.
He lost his voice yesterday. I'm not sure if he's getting sick again (can't remember if I wrote, he had a round with virus and sinus a couple of weeks back), or if it's just from all the howling he did, or what. He was starting to snot up this morning. I hope he doesn't have a cold.
And I was afraid we were going to have a bad time of it this morning. We got to daycare and I said, "yay, school!" J said, "Stop it, mama, I no like it." Huh? He said, "I want to go home," with that whiny tone in his voice that told me he was about three seconds from full-out tantrum. I told him no, mama had to go to work. Again, "I want to go home." I said, I know you do, baby, but we've talked about this - mama has to go to work, but I'll be back this afternoon to pick you up, and what happens then? "Mama gives J hugs and kisses!" I said, that's right, hugs and kisses. Then he started contemplating what they might have on TV in the gym, and he was much more excited about going then. So it turned out to be all right.
Which is good, because otherwise it's a tired and grumpy day. Traffic was hideous this morning - three wrecks on my way in, two of which were on the alternate route I took to avoid the first wreck (a biggie, with a 45-minute backup). So it was almost 9:00 before I made it here. How I wish I could telecommute.
I'd better get back to work. More later.
And the meltdown fun continued. We went to Target, that was fine. Went out for Mexican for lunch - J loved it, he ate the hot sauce with a spoon, like it was soup. Then we went to Toys R Us, because they have a lot of the Thomas wooden railway stuff. And there J went into indecisive toddler mode. He wanted Elizabeth, the quarry truck - then, "I no like her, I want Diesel 10." Got Diesel 10 - "I no like him." Finally he settled on Lady and the Sodor fire trucks, and K and I picked out a wooden railway starter set. Then J saw a train table set up, and nearly lost his mind - he *had* to get out of the buggy and play with it, and he declared he wanted one of his own (I'm thinking birthday). Then on the way out, he started crying when we had to wait in line - he was insistent that we pay for our things and go RIGHT NOW.
And once we got home, he played with his new toys just fine for a while. Then he wanted Diesel 10 and the quarry truck, and I explained to him that we'd left them at the store, we could get them the next time we went. TOTAL fit. J ran for the garage door, screaming that he wanted Diesel 10, wanted in mama's truck, wanted to put his shoes on RIGHT NOW. Finally I told him we weren't going, end of story, we could get the train next time we went, and he could just sit there and scream until it was out of his system, because we weren't going back to the store today. And eventually he gave it up and went on with his afternoon. But ugh, that was tiring.
J has apparently picked up a new word at daycare. He came home on Friday and announced, "He's a poopyhead!" I asked him who was, and he said, "Austin - he bit me." I then asked him who he heard "poopyhead" from, and he said, "Manuel." Big surprise there. But he said that word all night long, despite being told repeatedly that it wasn't nice to call someone that. I decided to just ignore it, figuring that the more I freaked out over it, the more likely he was to say it, just for my reaction. Seems to have worked - we didn't hear "poopyhead" at all yesterday. (This after he said last night, "Poopyhead's in the bed", and I pointed out to him that he was the only one in the bed, so who's the poopyhead? ) No, we got a new phrase last night. J dropped a toy, and promptly said, "Oh, crap." Then he said it again - and again, and again. "Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap." I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud. It just sounded so funny coming from him. And there again, I figure if I make a big deal about it being a "bad" word at this point, he'll keep saying it for the reaction. I'm just glad it wasn't anything worse than "crap" - you try not to slip up in front of your kids, but sometimes those words you don't want them to learn quite yet pop out.
He lost his voice yesterday. I'm not sure if he's getting sick again (can't remember if I wrote, he had a round with virus and sinus a couple of weeks back), or if it's just from all the howling he did, or what. He was starting to snot up this morning. I hope he doesn't have a cold.
And I was afraid we were going to have a bad time of it this morning. We got to daycare and I said, "yay, school!" J said, "Stop it, mama, I no like it." Huh? He said, "I want to go home," with that whiny tone in his voice that told me he was about three seconds from full-out tantrum. I told him no, mama had to go to work. Again, "I want to go home." I said, I know you do, baby, but we've talked about this - mama has to go to work, but I'll be back this afternoon to pick you up, and what happens then? "Mama gives J hugs and kisses!" I said, that's right, hugs and kisses. Then he started contemplating what they might have on TV in the gym, and he was much more excited about going then. So it turned out to be all right.
Which is good, because otherwise it's a tired and grumpy day. Traffic was hideous this morning - three wrecks on my way in, two of which were on the alternate route I took to avoid the first wreck (a biggie, with a 45-minute backup). So it was almost 9:00 before I made it here. How I wish I could telecommute.
I'd better get back to work. More later.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
A week later...
And what a week it's been. J started running fever again last Wednesday afternoon - daycare called and said his temperature was 102, to come get him. On Thursday his temp was back up to 104, so hi ho, hi ho, off to the doctor we went. She said it could have been the virus hanging on, or could have been the sinus infection not yet responding to antibiotics, but that a jump back up in fever like that called for bloodwork and x-rays to make sure it wasn't anything more serious. UGH. J did really well with the blood draw - he fussed more about having the bandage to hold the cotton on his arm after it was over than he did the actual draw - but he was beyond tired and cranky during the x-rays, and very displeased about having to sit in certain positions. My tiny boy. *SIGH* So I was off last Thursday and Friday with him. Thankfully he was back to his perky self by Friday, no fever, but the doc still said I should keep him home that day, so I did.
He took NAPS over the weekend!!!!! This is huge, as he hadn't taken any weekend naps since he started sleeping in his big boy bed. Saturday he fell asleep in the floor with his head on his little chair and slept for about 2 hours. The nap was late enough to push bedtime back a bit, but that break sure was nice. Sunday he laid down in the floor with his head on the chair, asked for milk, and was snoring in minutes! And that nap was early enough that it didn't interfere with bedtime. So maybe, hopefully naps will be a part of the weekends again.
And then I was off Monday, taking care of the loan closing! WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Funds will be in my account Friday afternoon. The downside is, I have to run back up there Friday morning - you have 3 days to cancel the transaction by law, and the lender I'm using requires that you deliver the paperwork saying you aren't taking it back in person rather than by mail or fax. So that's a bit inconvenient, but I'll just run up there before work on Friday. And it will then be a DONE DEAL!!!! I've already ordered a new mattress, it will be delivered on Monday.
Then I got to come back to work on Tuesday after having been out for three days. OMG, it was hideous. I was so busy, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I know work tends to stack up when you're out no matter what job you have, but it seems like it stacks up to a greater extent here. Not sure why that is.
And tonight is my late night, so I'll be here until 7:00. This, after having an up-and-down night with J wanting a drink, wanting to be rocked, wanting to be covered up with his blanket. *YAWN*
He took NAPS over the weekend!!!!! This is huge, as he hadn't taken any weekend naps since he started sleeping in his big boy bed. Saturday he fell asleep in the floor with his head on his little chair and slept for about 2 hours. The nap was late enough to push bedtime back a bit, but that break sure was nice. Sunday he laid down in the floor with his head on the chair, asked for milk, and was snoring in minutes! And that nap was early enough that it didn't interfere with bedtime. So maybe, hopefully naps will be a part of the weekends again.
And then I was off Monday, taking care of the loan closing! WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Funds will be in my account Friday afternoon. The downside is, I have to run back up there Friday morning - you have 3 days to cancel the transaction by law, and the lender I'm using requires that you deliver the paperwork saying you aren't taking it back in person rather than by mail or fax. So that's a bit inconvenient, but I'll just run up there before work on Friday. And it will then be a DONE DEAL!!!! I've already ordered a new mattress, it will be delivered on Monday.
Then I got to come back to work on Tuesday after having been out for three days. OMG, it was hideous. I was so busy, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I know work tends to stack up when you're out no matter what job you have, but it seems like it stacks up to a greater extent here. Not sure why that is.
And tonight is my late night, so I'll be here until 7:00. This, after having an up-and-down night with J wanting a drink, wanting to be rocked, wanting to be covered up with his blanket. *YAWN*
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Another quick fly-by
The J-man was sick all weekend. Went to the doc on Monday - viral throat infection and sinus infection. He's on antibiotics and some cough syrup/decongestant with codeine. You'd think it would knock him right out, but no. At least he took a 2 1/2 hour nap while we were home on Monday, so he and I both got some much-needed rest (Sunday night was just brutal, fever, chills, all sorts of fun stuff). He's better now, not quite back to 100%, but better. I had to laugh - when I pulled into the parking lot at daycare this morning, I said, "yay, school!" J said, "Stop it, mama, I no like school." I said, well, then, what do you want to do if you don't want to go to school? He looked at me with this big cheesy grin and said, "Go home!" LOLOL Yeah, buddy, you got a day off with mama and decided that was way more fun than school, I know how you work!
And it was too funny - when I picked him up yesterday, one of the little girls in his class was trying her darnedest to give him a hug, and he was having nothing to do with it. Girls - so it begins.... LOL
Looks like the loan may close on Monday. Woo hoo!!!! Mama's going mattress shopping!!! I woke up this morning with my back just killing me. The one on my bed right now is absolute crap. I am SO looking forward to sleeping on something that doesn't cause me pain. And I'll be getting a new home computer, too, so hopefully I can blog more often (I'm hesitant about getting on too much at work, which is why I've kind of disappeared recently).
Other than that, it's just work, eat, sleep, and damn, do I ever need to find time for exercise. I'm thinking about buying a punching bag and taking up boxing. What do y'all think? Anyone have any experience with that?
And it was too funny - when I picked him up yesterday, one of the little girls in his class was trying her darnedest to give him a hug, and he was having nothing to do with it. Girls - so it begins.... LOL
Looks like the loan may close on Monday. Woo hoo!!!! Mama's going mattress shopping!!! I woke up this morning with my back just killing me. The one on my bed right now is absolute crap. I am SO looking forward to sleeping on something that doesn't cause me pain. And I'll be getting a new home computer, too, so hopefully I can blog more often (I'm hesitant about getting on too much at work, which is why I've kind of disappeared recently).
Other than that, it's just work, eat, sleep, and damn, do I ever need to find time for exercise. I'm thinking about buying a punching bag and taking up boxing. What do y'all think? Anyone have any experience with that?
Saturday, March 12, 2005
What is the deal?!
I have had the worst time lately posting from home. AARGH. Either it doesn't go through, or I end up posting twice. That loan can't close soon enough, mama needs a new computer and a new mattress.
J is sick. He was running fever of almost 102 last night, and he's so snotted up it hurts me to hear him trying to breathe. He was restless last night, woke up at 6:00 this morning wanting to be rocked, and was up for the day at 6:50. UGH. I was hoping to refill his every-other-week prescription for Zithromax today, to get a head start on what I'm pretty sure is a sinus infection, but insurance wouldn't pay for it. I'd just refilled it March 5, and they said it was too soon. *fume, fuss, fret* The cash price was $78, and it just wasn't there today. So I reckon we'll just be going to the doctor bright and early Monday morning. Sweet boy, he doesn't slow down much when he's sick, but he's been a bit grumpier than usual today, and not completely his usual perky self. He's sleeping with the vaporizer on (no nap today, it took him about 10 seconds to sack out when he went to bed!), and hopefully that will keep his head clear enough that he can sleep well tonight. I think we could both do with a good night's rest!
Now, let's see if *this* will post....
J is sick. He was running fever of almost 102 last night, and he's so snotted up it hurts me to hear him trying to breathe. He was restless last night, woke up at 6:00 this morning wanting to be rocked, and was up for the day at 6:50. UGH. I was hoping to refill his every-other-week prescription for Zithromax today, to get a head start on what I'm pretty sure is a sinus infection, but insurance wouldn't pay for it. I'd just refilled it March 5, and they said it was too soon. *fume, fuss, fret* The cash price was $78, and it just wasn't there today. So I reckon we'll just be going to the doctor bright and early Monday morning. Sweet boy, he doesn't slow down much when he's sick, but he's been a bit grumpier than usual today, and not completely his usual perky self. He's sleeping with the vaporizer on (no nap today, it took him about 10 seconds to sack out when he went to bed!), and hopefully that will keep his head clear enough that he can sleep well tonight. I think we could both do with a good night's rest!
Now, let's see if *this* will post....
Resurfacing
Geez, I can't remember the last time I wrote. Hope I don't repeat myself! LOL
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
Resurfacing
Geez, I can't remember the last time I wrote. Hope I don't repeat myself! LOL
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
The appraisal came back better than expected - my jaw actually dropped when I got the e-mail from the loan processor! So it looks like I'll be getting a little more cash back than originally thought. I'm ready for it now, now, now - time to buy a new mattress and a new computer!
J is sick. :-( He was awfully pink and felt warm when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, his temperature was 101.6. :-( So last night was another restless night (the third in a row, I think), he woke up at 6:00 wanting to be rocked, and then was up at 6:50 for the day. No nap, fever, and GRUMPY, GRUMPY, GRUMPY. He's sleeping now, I've got the vaporizer in there close to him - hopefully that will keep him clear enough so he can sleep well. I think we both need the rest! I'm pretty sure it's another sinus infection. He hasn't had nearly as many this year as he did last, so I can't complain too much (at this point, our pediatrician has probably revoked our frequent patient card! LOL). But still, it hurts me knowing that he's feeling bad. Not that it slows him down much, but he's not quite his usual perky self when he doesn't feel good. And a couple of times today, he just turned into a howling wildebeest and had meltdowns over seemingly inconsequential things. *SIGH* That makes me tired. Here's hoping we'll all sleep tonight.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Well, crap.
No, nothing bad has happened, I just had a long post written out and then lost it. Harrumph. I don't think I have the energy to recreate it, so here's the nutshell version of what I wrote:
*Work is work.
*Traffic sucks, some days more than others.
*My checking account is overdrawn again, dammit. Isn't a law degree worth more than this without me having to sell my soul to the almighty billable hour?
*J is a hoot and a half, in spite of the occasional flaming meltdown, and I adore him and wish I could videotape everything he says and does, to have it all for future reference. But then I'd miss the real thing, and that would never do.
*Got the appraisal results - long story short, it was a good bit higher than I expected, and there's more money in the house than I can afford to get out. I've asked them to figure payment amounts for a couple of different, higher loan amounts, so a bit more cash may come out, but not more than I can afford to take. I'm trying to *fix* financial woes, not make them worse. Closing should take place by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by month end. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!! Here's hoping this is a sign of *good* things to come (things which I think are long overdue).
And now, it's night-night time.
*Work is work.
*Traffic sucks, some days more than others.
*My checking account is overdrawn again, dammit. Isn't a law degree worth more than this without me having to sell my soul to the almighty billable hour?
*J is a hoot and a half, in spite of the occasional flaming meltdown, and I adore him and wish I could videotape everything he says and does, to have it all for future reference. But then I'd miss the real thing, and that would never do.
*Got the appraisal results - long story short, it was a good bit higher than I expected, and there's more money in the house than I can afford to get out. I've asked them to figure payment amounts for a couple of different, higher loan amounts, so a bit more cash may come out, but not more than I can afford to take. I'm trying to *fix* financial woes, not make them worse. Closing should take place by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by month end. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!! Here's hoping this is a sign of *good* things to come (things which I think are long overdue).
And now, it's night-night time.
Another little update
Things have pretty much been rocking along here. Work is work, traffic sucks daily (some days worse than others), and just call me our lady of the perpetually short of cash. Yep, it's a week until payday, and my checking account is overdrawn again. *SIGH* I should think my law degree would be worth more than this.
But in some good news - the appraiser came out on Monday, and the loan processor got in touch with me today to let me know the results. The house appraised for quite a bit more than I was expecting - when I saw the figure in her e-mail, my jaw literally dropped. Let's just say there's more money in the house than I can afford to take out. :-) The house has increased nicely in value since K and I moved here in 1996. I asked the processor to figure the payments for two different, higher loan amounts, so I can see just how much I can afford. Any extra cash I get and put into savings can only be a good thing, as long as it's not more than I can afford. Payments will be a bit higher because of escrow, but I'm just looking at that as my forced savings account for taxes and insurance, and it relieves me of having to scramble for those big chunks of change every year. So I'm hoping this is a sign of more good news to come. The loan should close by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by the end of the month. Woo hoo!!!
J does funny things every day. I wish I could just videotape every single thing he says and does so I could relive it all, and have some more concrete reference than my often flawed memory. But then I'd miss the real deal, wouldn't I? :-) Yes, there are times I lose patience, and yes, there are times he's strong-willed and obstinate and whiny and occasionally, just downright cantankerous. But he's a sweet, funny, adorable, loving boy who says "Bless you, mama!" when I sneeze and holds my hand when we walk across parking lots. And some of the things he does and says just make me laugh out loud. Tonight I was trying to get him to sleep, and the last couple of nights he's wanted me to rock him (I've cherished these moments, because he doesn't ask to be rocked very often anymore!). Tonight he said, "mama, want rock a baby (rock-a-bye baby)." I said, do you want me to rock you? "Hum." Do you want me to sing rock-a-bye baby? "Hum." So we rocked and I sang, and every time I'd stop, he'd say, "Do again!" So I'd sing some more. This is a novel concept, he usually asks me to *stop* singing! LOL Sweet baby boy. I sure do love him.
And now, I'd better get some sleep.
But in some good news - the appraiser came out on Monday, and the loan processor got in touch with me today to let me know the results. The house appraised for quite a bit more than I was expecting - when I saw the figure in her e-mail, my jaw literally dropped. Let's just say there's more money in the house than I can afford to take out. :-) The house has increased nicely in value since K and I moved here in 1996. I asked the processor to figure the payments for two different, higher loan amounts, so I can see just how much I can afford. Any extra cash I get and put into savings can only be a good thing, as long as it's not more than I can afford. Payments will be a bit higher because of escrow, but I'm just looking at that as my forced savings account for taxes and insurance, and it relieves me of having to scramble for those big chunks of change every year. So I'm hoping this is a sign of more good news to come. The loan should close by the 25th, so I should have cash in hand by the end of the month. Woo hoo!!!
J does funny things every day. I wish I could just videotape every single thing he says and does so I could relive it all, and have some more concrete reference than my often flawed memory. But then I'd miss the real deal, wouldn't I? :-) Yes, there are times I lose patience, and yes, there are times he's strong-willed and obstinate and whiny and occasionally, just downright cantankerous. But he's a sweet, funny, adorable, loving boy who says "Bless you, mama!" when I sneeze and holds my hand when we walk across parking lots. And some of the things he does and says just make me laugh out loud. Tonight I was trying to get him to sleep, and the last couple of nights he's wanted me to rock him (I've cherished these moments, because he doesn't ask to be rocked very often anymore!). Tonight he said, "mama, want rock a baby (rock-a-bye baby)." I said, do you want me to rock you? "Hum." Do you want me to sing rock-a-bye baby? "Hum." So we rocked and I sang, and every time I'd stop, he'd say, "Do again!" So I'd sing some more. This is a novel concept, he usually asks me to *stop* singing! LOL Sweet baby boy. I sure do love him.
And now, I'd better get some sleep.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Just a little update
Not that there's been a whole lot to update about, I just wanted to post in case anyone was wondering if I'd fallen off the planet. LOL
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
Just a little update
Not that there's been a whole lot to update about, I just wanted to post in case anyone was wondering if I'd fallen off the planet. LOL
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
It was a no-nap, meltdown weekend with the J-man. *SIGH* Bless his heart, he is so two. I've had friends tell me three gets worse before it starts to get better at ages four and five. Please, say it ain't so! Ah well, I guess I can't complain too much. He really is a good boy, and so smart he scares me. I'll write more about that later, it's late and I'm tired.
Other weekend fun: cleaning. Four big trash bags of crap gone, and my house is *still* cluttered. Not as much, but still, it needs more work. How does so much junk pile up?!
The appraiser came today. He was here for about 40 minutes or so, said he'd have his report to the loan officer tomorrow. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it's a good one!
And now, off to bed. More later.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
All boy, all the time....
Well, I got to daycare Tuesday afternoon to find that J has his first official shiner. My poor baby. I asked him what happened, and he said, "Collin hit with that dump truck!" I said, "Did Collin hit you with a dump truck?" "Hum (yes)." I said, "Did Collin say he was sorry?" "Hum." I kissed it and said, "Is it better now?" "Hum!" His teacher said it was just an accident, and I know those happen when you've got a room full of 2 1/2-year-olds, no matter how closely you watch them. He has a big bruise under his left eye, and even a purple mark on the bridge of his nose. That Collin must pack a wallop! His teacher said they'd put cold compresses on it, and at one point she asked J if he wanted the cold on it a little longer. His response? "No, it's all better." So no permanent damage done, he just looks rough. K said he's going to get J a shirt that says, "You should see the other kid." LOLOL Even now, a couple of days later, it's pretty ferocious. At first it was just the big bruise under his eye, on his cheekbone, and the bridge of his nose. Now the purple is all the way up under his eye. *SIGH* It's been a little swollen, but is going down now, and he doesn't act like it hurts him. I'm sure this is just the first of many bumps and scrapes and bruises - after all, he is a boy.
And now I'm going to whine about something completely unrelated. Why is it so hard to make friends with some people at work? I've been here almost a year. Our team leader is close to my age and while she isn't an attorney, she has a legal background. One of my other team members is an attorney, and I talk a lot to them both. Another co-worker left a few months ago to take the Texas bar, so she also falls in the female attorney category (there aren't that many of us up here). The co-worker who left is meeting the other two for lunch today. We all work in cubes, so I overheard them talking about it. I mentioned it to my attorney friend, "oh, I hear y'all are going to lunch with so-and-so, how'd she do on the bar, etc." She said yes, they were going to lunch, it would be good to see her and so on. (and here's the whiny part) But not a word was said about the possibility of me joining them. I don't get that. We're all close in age, we have the same kind of background, I know the woman that they're going to lunch with, we're all friends - but I never seem to get lunch invites when they go. I go out to lunch with co-workers, I invite others to go, it's just that I never seem to be asked to go with these two. Given the things we have in common, you'd think it might occur to them to ask me. But no, never. It feels like high school, where there's one little clique you just can't break into, no matter how hard you try. And you might wonder, well, you've got other friends there, Lisa, why is this important to you? Because there are a lot of my friends here who are older than me. These two women are close to my age, one has kids, one wants kids, and we go through a lot of the same stuff. It would be nice for all my work friends not to be 10 or 15 or 20 years older. There, whining over for now. Maybe I'll invite them to lunch sometime, or invite myself if I hear them talking (although that always seems so rude - I'm of the school of thought that if someone was interested in my presence, they'd ask).
I haven't written much the last couple of days because it seems like things have been just rocking along. I'll be doing some cleaning and picking up this weekend - the appraiser comes on Monday to do the appraisal for the home equity loan. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it goes well! I'm pretty sure that if the loan wasn't going to happen, the loan officer would have said so up front, and wouldn't have required all the paperwork and rigmarole. But still - I'll feel better when it's a done deal, and I have cash in hand and debts paid off.
Now, off to eat something for lunch - I'm hungry!
And now I'm going to whine about something completely unrelated. Why is it so hard to make friends with some people at work? I've been here almost a year. Our team leader is close to my age and while she isn't an attorney, she has a legal background. One of my other team members is an attorney, and I talk a lot to them both. Another co-worker left a few months ago to take the Texas bar, so she also falls in the female attorney category (there aren't that many of us up here). The co-worker who left is meeting the other two for lunch today. We all work in cubes, so I overheard them talking about it. I mentioned it to my attorney friend, "oh, I hear y'all are going to lunch with so-and-so, how'd she do on the bar, etc." She said yes, they were going to lunch, it would be good to see her and so on. (and here's the whiny part) But not a word was said about the possibility of me joining them. I don't get that. We're all close in age, we have the same kind of background, I know the woman that they're going to lunch with, we're all friends - but I never seem to get lunch invites when they go. I go out to lunch with co-workers, I invite others to go, it's just that I never seem to be asked to go with these two. Given the things we have in common, you'd think it might occur to them to ask me. But no, never. It feels like high school, where there's one little clique you just can't break into, no matter how hard you try. And you might wonder, well, you've got other friends there, Lisa, why is this important to you? Because there are a lot of my friends here who are older than me. These two women are close to my age, one has kids, one wants kids, and we go through a lot of the same stuff. It would be nice for all my work friends not to be 10 or 15 or 20 years older. There, whining over for now. Maybe I'll invite them to lunch sometime, or invite myself if I hear them talking (although that always seems so rude - I'm of the school of thought that if someone was interested in my presence, they'd ask).
I haven't written much the last couple of days because it seems like things have been just rocking along. I'll be doing some cleaning and picking up this weekend - the appraiser comes on Monday to do the appraisal for the home equity loan. Y'all keep your fingers crossed that it goes well! I'm pretty sure that if the loan wasn't going to happen, the loan officer would have said so up front, and wouldn't have required all the paperwork and rigmarole. But still - I'll feel better when it's a done deal, and I have cash in hand and debts paid off.
Now, off to eat something for lunch - I'm hungry!
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
This Week's Unconscious Mutterings
From Unconscious Mutterings - this week's words and what they call to mind for me:
- You’ve got a friend:: James Taylor
- Immigration:: Texas
- Waitress:: Tip
- Snickers:: Chocolate
- Recognize:: Know
- Concept:: Theory
- Birthday:: Party
- Told you so:: Nyah nyah nyah
- Unlikely:: Why even try?
- Extension:: Cord
Starting off slowly
Today has started off a bit better than yesterday, but not much. J had a little accident last night. Somehow he slipped off my bed and wedged himself between the bed and the nightstand. In the process he scraped his leg, his back and his arm, and since he is my child, there are sure to be bruises (I bruise if the wind blows at me the wrong way! LOL). *SIGH* He screamed, I screamed, and we all had a little fit. I thought he bumped his head, but when I asked him, he said he hadn't. The bruises and scrapes didn't look too bad this morning, but I'm sure they'll darken in a day or so. My poor boy - he needs body armor. I took the precaution of explaining what had happened to his teacher, I didn't want her to think there was any need to call in CPS. :) Poor baby, he got his mama's clumsy gene. I can just about trip over shadows, and apparently so can he.
He woke up twice last night, once at 12:40, soaking wet and with a loaded pair of underpants, and once at 4:20, just screaming. I think he had a bad dream then - he laid right back down after I hugged him, and was asleep by the time I got back with the milk he'd requested. So it's not like he was up a long time on either occasion, but the interrupted sleep just doesn't do me much good.
And the morning battles continue. *SIGH* People say you should get up early, plan extra time into your routine when you're trying to get out of the house with a young child. Yeah, right. I could probably get J up at 5:30 and still not get out of the house until after 7:00. It took ages to get him into the car - everything was "no, no, no". I was just about to pick him up and carry him (a feat that's getting more challenging by the day - what will I do when he figures out that mama picking him up and moving him is an idle threat?!) when he ran out to the garage, ready to go. He left his toys in the truck with no fuss today, and drop-off was much improved, so other than the power struggle to get out of the house and the fact that I was horrifically late (not getting here, I was here by 8:30, just late leaving), it was better than yesterday.
Talked to the loan officer yesterday - she got my paperwork, and it's gone to processing. The appraiser is supposed to call and set up a time to come by. I hope they don't count off for clutter - I'm in the middle of dejunking and trying to organize so much that some things are pretty piled up. I just want it to appraise for at least what I thought it was worth (which was about $20,000 less than the value for property tax purposes - I'm hoping the appraisal comes close to what the tax office says my house is worth!). I'll feel a lot better when it's a done deal. I know if it was going to be turned down, the loan officer would have told me that up front, and it wouldn't have even gotten to the point of filling out all this paperwork and doing an appraisal. But still, I'm nervous, and I'll be less so when it's done and signed and I have cash in hand and only one big payment to make (no more car payment, no more credit cards, woo hoo!!!!).
He woke up twice last night, once at 12:40, soaking wet and with a loaded pair of underpants, and once at 4:20, just screaming. I think he had a bad dream then - he laid right back down after I hugged him, and was asleep by the time I got back with the milk he'd requested. So it's not like he was up a long time on either occasion, but the interrupted sleep just doesn't do me much good.
And the morning battles continue. *SIGH* People say you should get up early, plan extra time into your routine when you're trying to get out of the house with a young child. Yeah, right. I could probably get J up at 5:30 and still not get out of the house until after 7:00. It took ages to get him into the car - everything was "no, no, no". I was just about to pick him up and carry him (a feat that's getting more challenging by the day - what will I do when he figures out that mama picking him up and moving him is an idle threat?!) when he ran out to the garage, ready to go. He left his toys in the truck with no fuss today, and drop-off was much improved, so other than the power struggle to get out of the house and the fact that I was horrifically late (not getting here, I was here by 8:30, just late leaving), it was better than yesterday.
Talked to the loan officer yesterday - she got my paperwork, and it's gone to processing. The appraiser is supposed to call and set up a time to come by. I hope they don't count off for clutter - I'm in the middle of dejunking and trying to organize so much that some things are pretty piled up. I just want it to appraise for at least what I thought it was worth (which was about $20,000 less than the value for property tax purposes - I'm hoping the appraisal comes close to what the tax office says my house is worth!). I'll feel a lot better when it's a done deal. I know if it was going to be turned down, the loan officer would have told me that up front, and it wouldn't have even gotten to the point of filling out all this paperwork and doing an appraisal. But still, I'm nervous, and I'll be less so when it's done and signed and I have cash in hand and only one big payment to make (no more car payment, no more credit cards, woo hoo!!!!).
Monday, February 28, 2005
Monday all day long.
It was a fairly rotten weekend from an emotional standpoint. J is very two, and K and I had a discussion about some financial stuff that just left me tired. In the course of that conversation, I got really uptight and lost it in front of J, which is something I swore I'd never do. He knew something was up - I could tell by the look on his face, and that look just cut me to the bone. So K and I both hugged him and reassured him, and he's probably forgotten the whole thing by now - but still, I felt like the worst parent ever.
And J is just so very, very TWO. Meltdowns with minimal or no provocation, constant repetition of limits that you know he understands, and the ever-present "no" (I seriously think he says "no" just to hear himself say it, not because he really means it). It's very draining. Supposedly little girls are calmer and more obedient at this age, and the trade-off is that teenage boys are generally easier to deal with. But Lord have mercy, the preschool years may kill me off first. Now I understand why one of my girlfriends was constantly riding herd on her two boys - she had to! And friends with children tell me three is worse. OY. I love my son, I'd do anything for him, I wouldn't trade him for the world, but boy howdy, being a parent sure is hard work.
This day hasn't started off so great, either. Three meltdowns from J this morning - one over turning the TV off when it was time to go, although we'd discussed several times the point at which the video would have to be turned off; one over leaving his dump truck in mama's truck, although he understands that he may lose toys if he takes them to school and is generally quite good about leaving things without a fuss; and the screaming-banshee impression at daycare drop-off. The third one really upset me. We'd been doing so well with that - J and I have talked about the fact that mama has to go to work, J gets to go to school, and mama always comes back and gets J and gives him hugs and kisses. And he's been doing really well for a while. I can't remember the last time we had a howling throwdown - a couple of whines from time to time, but not a screaming fit. Well, today we had the full-out screaming fit. As soon as we walked in, he started hanging onto my legs, saying, "mama, up, up." I told him mama had to go to work, that I'd get him some milk. He was fine when I walked away for milk, but when I came back, he started the "up, up" routine again. I told him again that mama had to go to work, but that I loved him and I'd be back this afternoon, and I started walking toward the door. I hadn't gotten halfway across the gym when I heard wailing and running feet - he'd lit out after me. *SIGH* So I turned around to give him a hug and kiss, and here went the "up, up" routine again - he glues himself to my legs and looks up at me with the most piteous expression. I hugged and kissed him and told him again that I'd be back this afternoon, and I left. The door closed on the sound of my child screaming for his mama. UGH. I wanted to sit in the car and just cry. I'm not sure why the regression, I just know that it absolutely breaks my heart to leave him like that. Damn the need to bring home a paycheck, days like that I just want to stay with my son, even if we have to live in a box under a bridge somewhere.
(Realistically I don't mean that - I know life would be very, very hard indeed if I didn't work. But some days I wish I could tell the work world to go hang and stay home with my baby boy.)
Then I had a lap-band moment on the way to work - meaning, something hung up and didn't want to go down. I'm thinking it was the huge Augmentin pills I'm trying to finish off, because I hadn't eaten very much at all. When something hangs up in the band and won't go down, it hurts - sometimes it hurts a lot, and today was one of those times. And it doesn't stop hurting unless whatever's hung up either goes down or comes back up. So here I was driving through some of the less-than-nice parts of Dallas on my way to work, hurting like a son of a bitch, and wondering if this thing would just pass or if I'd have to find some relatively safe-looking place to pull over and hurl. Mmm, fun. (That's the function of the lap-band - my own personal food police, to keep me from eating more than I should.) Finally, after about 15 minutes of pain, whatever was hung up went down, and I felt better. Now I'm starving but scared to eat, and yet the thought of a day filled with only protein shakes isn't appealing at all. Not sure yet what I'll do about that.
And then, back at work after a half day off on Friday, I find no less than 28 things in my inbox, all requiring my attention. Then there have been a couple of other crises that have popped up, so I'm running like a crazy woman. Calgon, take me away....
This day has sucked rocks so far. Can I just go home, go back to bed, and have a redo?
And J is just so very, very TWO. Meltdowns with minimal or no provocation, constant repetition of limits that you know he understands, and the ever-present "no" (I seriously think he says "no" just to hear himself say it, not because he really means it). It's very draining. Supposedly little girls are calmer and more obedient at this age, and the trade-off is that teenage boys are generally easier to deal with. But Lord have mercy, the preschool years may kill me off first. Now I understand why one of my girlfriends was constantly riding herd on her two boys - she had to! And friends with children tell me three is worse. OY. I love my son, I'd do anything for him, I wouldn't trade him for the world, but boy howdy, being a parent sure is hard work.
This day hasn't started off so great, either. Three meltdowns from J this morning - one over turning the TV off when it was time to go, although we'd discussed several times the point at which the video would have to be turned off; one over leaving his dump truck in mama's truck, although he understands that he may lose toys if he takes them to school and is generally quite good about leaving things without a fuss; and the screaming-banshee impression at daycare drop-off. The third one really upset me. We'd been doing so well with that - J and I have talked about the fact that mama has to go to work, J gets to go to school, and mama always comes back and gets J and gives him hugs and kisses. And he's been doing really well for a while. I can't remember the last time we had a howling throwdown - a couple of whines from time to time, but not a screaming fit. Well, today we had the full-out screaming fit. As soon as we walked in, he started hanging onto my legs, saying, "mama, up, up." I told him mama had to go to work, that I'd get him some milk. He was fine when I walked away for milk, but when I came back, he started the "up, up" routine again. I told him again that mama had to go to work, but that I loved him and I'd be back this afternoon, and I started walking toward the door. I hadn't gotten halfway across the gym when I heard wailing and running feet - he'd lit out after me. *SIGH* So I turned around to give him a hug and kiss, and here went the "up, up" routine again - he glues himself to my legs and looks up at me with the most piteous expression. I hugged and kissed him and told him again that I'd be back this afternoon, and I left. The door closed on the sound of my child screaming for his mama. UGH. I wanted to sit in the car and just cry. I'm not sure why the regression, I just know that it absolutely breaks my heart to leave him like that. Damn the need to bring home a paycheck, days like that I just want to stay with my son, even if we have to live in a box under a bridge somewhere.
(Realistically I don't mean that - I know life would be very, very hard indeed if I didn't work. But some days I wish I could tell the work world to go hang and stay home with my baby boy.)
Then I had a lap-band moment on the way to work - meaning, something hung up and didn't want to go down. I'm thinking it was the huge Augmentin pills I'm trying to finish off, because I hadn't eaten very much at all. When something hangs up in the band and won't go down, it hurts - sometimes it hurts a lot, and today was one of those times. And it doesn't stop hurting unless whatever's hung up either goes down or comes back up. So here I was driving through some of the less-than-nice parts of Dallas on my way to work, hurting like a son of a bitch, and wondering if this thing would just pass or if I'd have to find some relatively safe-looking place to pull over and hurl. Mmm, fun. (That's the function of the lap-band - my own personal food police, to keep me from eating more than I should.) Finally, after about 15 minutes of pain, whatever was hung up went down, and I felt better. Now I'm starving but scared to eat, and yet the thought of a day filled with only protein shakes isn't appealing at all. Not sure yet what I'll do about that.
And then, back at work after a half day off on Friday, I find no less than 28 things in my inbox, all requiring my attention. Then there have been a couple of other crises that have popped up, so I'm running like a crazy woman. Calgon, take me away....
This day has sucked rocks so far. Can I just go home, go back to bed, and have a redo?
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Mommy Madness
Boy, did this hit home. I can relate - I was raised to be self-sufficient and independent, and my parents certainly never even considered any possibility other than me going to college, getting at least one degree, and kicking ass in the working world. They never said, "you can't do that, you're a girl." I *was* raised to think I could do it all, although there were times when I was younger that I just didn't think I'd ever have children. And now? There are days that doing it all - or trying to - really takes its toll. I think that in some ways, the feminist movement did more harm than good, by promoting that very idea, that women can do it all. Not that it hasn't done some good - women should get comparable pay for doing comparable work to me, women should be able to go into any career field they choose, and all that good stuff. But the pendulum has, to some extent, swung so that being a stay-at-home mother and wife has fallen out of favor, and women are made to feel like they're wasting their talents if they choose to do that. I think that's just sad. We try to do everything and end up not being very good at any of it because we're just spread too thin.
Fun with the J-man
I'm not sure what was in the air Tuesday night, but J had a flaming thermonuclear meltdown in the driveway after we got home. On the way home, we'd been talking about the moon and how you'd need a really tall ladder to get it down. J informed me that if he got it, he'd keep it and put it in his toy box. Anyway, he's just fascinated with the moon, has been for a while, but never like tonight. We stood in the driveway for a bit and looked at the moon, and that was fine. But when the suggestion was made that it might be time to go in and have dinner, you'd have thought J had learned there was no Santa, no Easter bunny, and that he was never having a birthday party again, the fit he threw. He was screaming, "nooooooo, stay outside!" and *running* away from me. My child was literally howling at the moon - great, I've given birth to a little baby werewolf. Once we were finally inside, J proceeded to prostrate himself by the door and scream that he wanted to go outside. He screamed at everything and nothing would settle him down. Finally, finally I convinced him to come into the laundry room with me, and I showed him that we could look out the window there and see the moon in the sky. He said, "Goodnight moon, night-night time" and walked away, problem solved. A good twenty minutes of emotional upheaval, and it was over in seconds. AARGH. This is what frustrates me so about my baby boy, that emotional nature. It makes no sense to practical, logical me.
But in other news: He and I were in the bed Tuesday night, reading his books. I read his Thomas' ABC Book to him, and as I was picking up another book, he said, "Read Thomas book." I said, no, we've already read that one, and he told me, "No, J read it." And he took his book and proceeded to open it to the first page and read it. "A is for all aboard, all aboard calls Thomas the Tank Engine. B for Bertie the Bus, Bertie is Thomas's friend, beep beep." He'd tell me word for word what was on the page. I realize that at this point a lot of it is memorization (although he's memorized so many books, that's pretty amazing in and of itself), but he knew what page he was on. If he skipped a page, he'd either go back to where he should have been or he'd read what was on the page he was looking at, instead of just parroting what he'd memorized as coming next. I could have just cried, I was so proud of him. My super-smart baby boy!!! I was reading at age 3, maybe he will be, too.
But in other news: He and I were in the bed Tuesday night, reading his books. I read his Thomas' ABC Book to him, and as I was picking up another book, he said, "Read Thomas book." I said, no, we've already read that one, and he told me, "No, J read it." And he took his book and proceeded to open it to the first page and read it. "A is for all aboard, all aboard calls Thomas the Tank Engine. B for Bertie the Bus, Bertie is Thomas's friend, beep beep." He'd tell me word for word what was on the page. I realize that at this point a lot of it is memorization (although he's memorized so many books, that's pretty amazing in and of itself), but he knew what page he was on. If he skipped a page, he'd either go back to where he should have been or he'd read what was on the page he was looking at, instead of just parroting what he'd memorized as coming next. I could have just cried, I was so proud of him. My super-smart baby boy!!! I was reading at age 3, maybe he will be, too.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Wanting more
This post in The Odd Wife's blog got me to thinking. I don't think K and I have ever had what she describes herself and EH as having. I think K and I were best friends, and at one time that was sufficient. Heck, I still consider K a friend, and I reckon I always will - after all that's happened, I really can't think of anything that could come up that would make me tell him, "I can't stand the sight of you, go away, I don't ever want to see you ever again". But it seems to me that if what we had was anything close to what The Odd Wife describes, then he wouldn't, at some point, have found himself looking elsewhere to find that "sparkle", that thrill of discovery with someone new. It's just unfortunate that it took us ten years and having a child to figure this out, and it's unfortunate that now our child will have to live with the effects of his parents splitting up. But is it wrong to want, to hope for, a love like that? Because I do.
It sure feels like a Monday
I had yesterday off, but I don't feel rested. And I'm swamped at work. AND it's supposed to get cold and rainy this week, after being in the 80's and positively springlike for the past couple of days. YUCK. I hate winter, I will never live somewhere where it gets *really* cold and where they have an actual winter. I'm a Southern girl, I've lived down here my whole life, and my blood is just too thin to live somewhere with real winter. Yes, we have 100+ degree days for weeks on end sometimes in the summer, but that's what air conditioning and covered parking are for. I'll take the hot, thanks.
Not too much exciting happened over the weekend - no naps for the J-man, some cleaning, a trip or two to Target (J got a train, and we've talked before about not opening things until we pay for them - he understands that, and as soon as we got in the car, he handed me the package with his train and said, "Mama, unlemp (his word for unwrap) Henry (the train) RIGHT NOW!" Bossy little man. LOLOL).
I did talk to the loan officer yesterday. She told me what information she'll need (tax info, pay stubs, plus a $325 check to do an appraisal - UGH), and said it will take about three weeks to process once they've got all the paperwork. AARGH!!!!!!!!!! I guess it's just frustrating, finally seeing a light at the end of the financial tunnel, being so close to sorting things out so that maybe K and I can make some progress on disentangling our lives, and being told, oh wait, we need more info and then you have to wait some more. You might think, but this has been going on for almost two years, what's a few more weeks? That's just it - it's been going on for almost two years, and to be so tantalizingly close and yet not be there just about makes me want to crawl out of my skin with frustration. AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow night is my second late night in less than a week. Feh. Not looking forward to that. But then I won't have another late night until March - the 23rd, I think.
And on a happy note, I'm getting my piano tuned on Friday! Yay!!!!! That's J's belated Valentine's gift to his mama. :-) I've had this piano since I first started taking lessons at age 7, so it's almost 30 years old now. It's been several years since I've had it tuned, and I can really hear it when I play. I'm so very, very glad to be getting this done, I just can't wait!!!
Now, back to the regularly scheduled daily grind and the dilemma of what to have for lunch....
Not too much exciting happened over the weekend - no naps for the J-man, some cleaning, a trip or two to Target (J got a train, and we've talked before about not opening things until we pay for them - he understands that, and as soon as we got in the car, he handed me the package with his train and said, "Mama, unlemp (his word for unwrap) Henry (the train) RIGHT NOW!" Bossy little man. LOLOL).
I did talk to the loan officer yesterday. She told me what information she'll need (tax info, pay stubs, plus a $325 check to do an appraisal - UGH), and said it will take about three weeks to process once they've got all the paperwork. AARGH!!!!!!!!!! I guess it's just frustrating, finally seeing a light at the end of the financial tunnel, being so close to sorting things out so that maybe K and I can make some progress on disentangling our lives, and being told, oh wait, we need more info and then you have to wait some more. You might think, but this has been going on for almost two years, what's a few more weeks? That's just it - it's been going on for almost two years, and to be so tantalizingly close and yet not be there just about makes me want to crawl out of my skin with frustration. AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow night is my second late night in less than a week. Feh. Not looking forward to that. But then I won't have another late night until March - the 23rd, I think.
And on a happy note, I'm getting my piano tuned on Friday! Yay!!!!! That's J's belated Valentine's gift to his mama. :-) I've had this piano since I first started taking lessons at age 7, so it's almost 30 years old now. It's been several years since I've had it tuned, and I can really hear it when I play. I'm so very, very glad to be getting this done, I just can't wait!!!
Now, back to the regularly scheduled daily grind and the dilemma of what to have for lunch....
Friday, February 18, 2005
Today's fortune cookie
"Important events are in your future."
Well! That could be nice.
And add "in bed"? Now THAT makes it downright INTERESTING! Tee hee....
Well! That could be nice.
And add "in bed"? Now THAT makes it downright INTERESTING! Tee hee....
Just a quick post...
Gee, I just realized I haven't even looked at my blog today, much less written anything! That could be because there's nothing particularly earth-shattering to write about.
I'm still at work - time for my monthly phone servitude. And oh, joy, since tonight was a swap for my scheduled January night, I get to do this again next Wednesday. Hooray. I hate phone time. Thankfully, I'll be done, at least for tonight, in about five minutes.
Went to the doc yesterday - surprise, surprise, I've got a sinus infection. She loaded me up with some monstrously big Augmentin pills, and told me to keep taking OTC stuff for pain and congestion. I feel OK today, I'm just tired of blowing my nose every thirty seconds. Enough already, don't I run out of snot eventually?!
No big plans for the weekend. Tomorrow is library day with J - if they have good displays (meaning something with trucks, trains or things that go), he likes it. And he likes to play in the birdbath outside the library. So that should be fun.
And Monday's a holiday, woo hoo!!! A holiday when daycare is open, double WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! Mental health day for mama!!! :) And hopefully some good news on the home equity loan.
I think it's time to shut things down here. It's close enough to 7:00 that I'm going to take off.
I'm still at work - time for my monthly phone servitude. And oh, joy, since tonight was a swap for my scheduled January night, I get to do this again next Wednesday. Hooray. I hate phone time. Thankfully, I'll be done, at least for tonight, in about five minutes.
Went to the doc yesterday - surprise, surprise, I've got a sinus infection. She loaded me up with some monstrously big Augmentin pills, and told me to keep taking OTC stuff for pain and congestion. I feel OK today, I'm just tired of blowing my nose every thirty seconds. Enough already, don't I run out of snot eventually?!
No big plans for the weekend. Tomorrow is library day with J - if they have good displays (meaning something with trucks, trains or things that go), he likes it. And he likes to play in the birdbath outside the library. So that should be fun.
And Monday's a holiday, woo hoo!!! A holiday when daycare is open, double WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! Mental health day for mama!!! :) And hopefully some good news on the home equity loan.
I think it's time to shut things down here. It's close enough to 7:00 that I'm going to take off.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Cautiously optimistic
Well, blogfans, it looks like 2005 might start to improve after all. I checked into refinancing the house, and it looks like there's an approval for enough to pay off the existing house note (foolishly obtained several years ago in an effort to consolidate credit card debt, which K and I then promptly ran back up), my car, K's car, the rest of his existing credit card debt, all the taxes, all my professional dues and taxes (which are legion - it's expensive to be a lawyer! LOL), have enough for a new computer, a new mattress (which I DESPERATELY need), some home repairs and car maintenance that need to be tended to, and still have a good bit to go in savings. All this, and the payment on the new home equity loan will be $200 less than what I'm currently paying on the existing house note and my car. And the beauty is, I won't be running up new debt. I haven't had credit cards for almost a year, I know I can do just fine without them. I don't plan to get a new car or new house, I like the ones I have. This will allow me to actually pay things off, get caught up on all my little piddly stuff that keeps getting put on the back burner, and maybe actually SAVE some money for my retirement and J's future. And with K's things being paid off, that frees up money for him to help out with daycare costs and things for J. :) Of course, I get this e-mail last night, and the woman I've been working with says at the end of the e-mail that she's out of the office until Monday, 2/21, at a sales convention. AACK. But I'm cautiously optimistic that maybe things will begin to turn around if this really goes through (I won't believe it until I have cash in hand!).
Other than that, it's just a day. I feel much better, my face no longer hurts and I can actually breathe out of my nose on occasion. I'm still going to the doctor today, though - the goo is still green, so I guess I'd better get on with the antibiotics and get better. This means I get to leave work early, woo hoo!!! :)
So maybe things are looking up. It's about time.
Other than that, it's just a day. I feel much better, my face no longer hurts and I can actually breathe out of my nose on occasion. I'm still going to the doctor today, though - the goo is still green, so I guess I'd better get on with the antibiotics and get better. This means I get to leave work early, woo hoo!!! :)
So maybe things are looking up. It's about time.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Woo hoo!!!
I'm feeling *much* better right now. I still have some congestion, and it's still coming out of my nose day-glo green more often than not, but my face doesn't hurt anymore. At all. This is amazing to me, considering that when I woke up this morning, the right side of my face was hurting like hell and puffy all the way up to (and including) my eye. I have no idea what happened to make me feel so much better, I'm just taking it and saying thank you. :-)
That being said, I'd better go take some more of the allergy/sinus medicine I've been taking. Maybe I won't have to make that doctor's appointment tomorrow after all....
That being said, I'd better go take some more of the allergy/sinus medicine I've been taking. Maybe I won't have to make that doctor's appointment tomorrow after all....
Dreams
I've had a couple of pretty vivid dreams lately. I seldom remember dreams these days, so I thought I'd write these down for what they're worth. Both were very odd dreams, and I'm just writing what I remember of them.
In the first, I was at some kind of meeting. I was walking out to my car in the parking lot when I was approached by two young women, probably college-age, asking me some survey-type questions. I was politely paying about half attention, and one of them asked me if I wanted to take the online survey. I said, oh, sure, thinking they'd give me a website to go to on my own time. But no, they said, they had a computer set up there. OK, fine. It was set up in a Jeep (one of the bigger ones, like a Cherokee), on the passenger side. I sat down and the computer was set up in such a way that there was a wire frame holding it and resting on my legs. While I was sitting there, one of these young women went around to the driver's side, and before I knew it, she'd put the car in gear, jammed the gas pedal down, and the car took off with just me in it. I was freaked out, to say the least. Somehow I managed to get the keys out of the ignition and the car stopped with no harm done. I then found my purse and realized that all of my cards - debit, driver's license, insurance, everything - had been replaced with carefully crafted lookalikes and my real cards were all gone.
In the second, K and I lived in the house where I am now, but it was like it had been picked up and moved back to my hometown in Louisiana. I say that because my aunt and uncle, who live in that town, were there in my dream. In the dream, there was a gas leak suspected in the neighborhood, and everyone was being evacuated without the chance to take much with them. For some reason it had to be done very quickly and quietly. I was running around trying to collect as many of my photo albums and pictures and videos of J as I could, because I was afraid I'd never get the chance to come back to the house.
It's strange what the subconscious comes up with sometimes.
In the first, I was at some kind of meeting. I was walking out to my car in the parking lot when I was approached by two young women, probably college-age, asking me some survey-type questions. I was politely paying about half attention, and one of them asked me if I wanted to take the online survey. I said, oh, sure, thinking they'd give me a website to go to on my own time. But no, they said, they had a computer set up there. OK, fine. It was set up in a Jeep (one of the bigger ones, like a Cherokee), on the passenger side. I sat down and the computer was set up in such a way that there was a wire frame holding it and resting on my legs. While I was sitting there, one of these young women went around to the driver's side, and before I knew it, she'd put the car in gear, jammed the gas pedal down, and the car took off with just me in it. I was freaked out, to say the least. Somehow I managed to get the keys out of the ignition and the car stopped with no harm done. I then found my purse and realized that all of my cards - debit, driver's license, insurance, everything - had been replaced with carefully crafted lookalikes and my real cards were all gone.
In the second, K and I lived in the house where I am now, but it was like it had been picked up and moved back to my hometown in Louisiana. I say that because my aunt and uncle, who live in that town, were there in my dream. In the dream, there was a gas leak suspected in the neighborhood, and everyone was being evacuated without the chance to take much with them. For some reason it had to be done very quickly and quietly. I was running around trying to collect as many of my photo albums and pictures and videos of J as I could, because I was afraid I'd never get the chance to come back to the house.
It's strange what the subconscious comes up with sometimes.
A sad day for hockey
This sucks.
I can't say as I'm surprised, but I am disappointed. And I'm not sure how they'll come back from this, if the league and the players can manage to agree before the 2005-06 season begins.
Guess I'll have to go to a Fort Worth Brahmas game to get my hockey fix.
I can't say as I'm surprised, but I am disappointed. And I'm not sure how they'll come back from this, if the league and the players can manage to agree before the 2005-06 season begins.
Guess I'll have to go to a Fort Worth Brahmas game to get my hockey fix.
An interesting tidbit
A friend shared this link on one of my parenting boards, and I thought it would be fun to see how compatible J and I are. I'm a Gemini, nad J is on the cusp of Cancer and Leo (so I ran both of his signs, to see what came back). Here's what it said (the things in bold are things I found to be particularly true for J and I):
Cancer and Gemini
When a Cancer child relates to a Gemini parent, it may be a rather curious relationship. They seem so mismatched it's hard to believe they even manage to get along. Gemini is intellectual, led by logic and wit, while Cancer runs on intuition and raw emotion. They constantly test one another's limits; the independent Gemini parent may love their child immensely but sometimes bristles at the constant attention required of their Cancer offspring. The Gemini may often be taken aback by their child's uproarious emotional responses to everything. The Cancer child, in turn, could feel that they and their parent are world's apart, and they can't understand how they could be so different. On the bright side, Cancer can teach Gemini how to slow down and appreciate the beauty of the world around them. At the same time, Gemini can often get through to their child by establishing a shared interest. Troubles may arise if Cancer feels unappreciated or ignored or when Gemini watches Cancer fly off the handle. Both Signs must understand that although they approach life from entirely different directions, it is possible for them to meet happily in the middle. The best aspect of the Gemini-Cancer family relationship is that -- once they realize they're allies -- they can soar to great heights together and make a place for themselves in the world. Gemini is thinking ahead and Cancer is quietly supporting these ideas and giving frank feedback. This family has a lot to learn from one another.
Leo and Gemini
When a Leo child is born to a Gemini parent, the family becomes playful and high-spirited. There is a lot of activity and optimism in this group. Leo has a spirit of creativity that is much admired by Gemini who in turn, enjoys the creative and mental stimulation. Arguments may arise if Leo finds their parent too flighty, perhaps unable to focus on anything for too long. Gemini may wonder where their child comes by their innately bossy nature. They compliment one another well, though. Leo's adventurous spirit wants to experience things firsthand, while Gemini would rather examine something new from several different angles. Together, this family can discover and understand more than they would alone.Both Leo and Gemini have a lot of energy. By working together, they can come up with great ideas and common goals. Leo likes the freedom to jump into projects and give the orders. Gemini wants intellectual freedom and is able to look at all sides of an argument. In spite of their different approaches to life, they make a compatible family unit. The best aspect of the Gemini-Leo family relationship is their youthful, even childlike view of the world. They can truly understand and value each other's input. Together they can discover aspects of life that they would have missed separately. Together, this family will thrive.
Yes, even at 2 1/2, J likes to give orders! LOL "Mama, sit down. Mama, let's go. Mama, reach that." And I can totally relate to the uproarious emotional outbursts. Last night we had a meltdown over not wanting to take pants off for bathtime - he spent a good ten minutes screaming, "No, want pants back on!" *SIGH* It does, it baffles me how he can have such a fit over what seems to be a small and relatively unimportant thing. Dealing with those emotional outbursts are what wears me out the most about parenting (that and the constant repetition of rules when he's pushing to see what his limits are). So I thought the analysis was pretty accurate.
Cancer and Gemini
When a Cancer child relates to a Gemini parent, it may be a rather curious relationship. They seem so mismatched it's hard to believe they even manage to get along. Gemini is intellectual, led by logic and wit, while Cancer runs on intuition and raw emotion. They constantly test one another's limits; the independent Gemini parent may love their child immensely but sometimes bristles at the constant attention required of their Cancer offspring. The Gemini may often be taken aback by their child's uproarious emotional responses to everything. The Cancer child, in turn, could feel that they and their parent are world's apart, and they can't understand how they could be so different. On the bright side, Cancer can teach Gemini how to slow down and appreciate the beauty of the world around them. At the same time, Gemini can often get through to their child by establishing a shared interest. Troubles may arise if Cancer feels unappreciated or ignored or when Gemini watches Cancer fly off the handle. Both Signs must understand that although they approach life from entirely different directions, it is possible for them to meet happily in the middle. The best aspect of the Gemini-Cancer family relationship is that -- once they realize they're allies -- they can soar to great heights together and make a place for themselves in the world. Gemini is thinking ahead and Cancer is quietly supporting these ideas and giving frank feedback. This family has a lot to learn from one another.
Leo and Gemini
When a Leo child is born to a Gemini parent, the family becomes playful and high-spirited. There is a lot of activity and optimism in this group. Leo has a spirit of creativity that is much admired by Gemini who in turn, enjoys the creative and mental stimulation. Arguments may arise if Leo finds their parent too flighty, perhaps unable to focus on anything for too long. Gemini may wonder where their child comes by their innately bossy nature. They compliment one another well, though. Leo's adventurous spirit wants to experience things firsthand, while Gemini would rather examine something new from several different angles. Together, this family can discover and understand more than they would alone.Both Leo and Gemini have a lot of energy. By working together, they can come up with great ideas and common goals. Leo likes the freedom to jump into projects and give the orders. Gemini wants intellectual freedom and is able to look at all sides of an argument. In spite of their different approaches to life, they make a compatible family unit. The best aspect of the Gemini-Leo family relationship is their youthful, even childlike view of the world. They can truly understand and value each other's input. Together they can discover aspects of life that they would have missed separately. Together, this family will thrive.
Yes, even at 2 1/2, J likes to give orders! LOL "Mama, sit down. Mama, let's go. Mama, reach that." And I can totally relate to the uproarious emotional outbursts. Last night we had a meltdown over not wanting to take pants off for bathtime - he spent a good ten minutes screaming, "No, want pants back on!" *SIGH* It does, it baffles me how he can have such a fit over what seems to be a small and relatively unimportant thing. Dealing with those emotional outbursts are what wears me out the most about parenting (that and the constant repetition of rules when he's pushing to see what his limits are). So I thought the analysis was pretty accurate.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Ow, make it stop.
I think this crud I've been battling for a week has turned into a sinus infection. Either that or I've got a hell of a rotten tooth. All I know is, the right side of my face, right under my eye, hurts like I've been punched and won't stop hurting. And when I blow my nose, the stuff that comes out is day-glo antifreeze green. (The beauty of being a parent - the gross-out factor diminishes considerably after you've been peed on, pooped on and barfed on, and no topic is too disgusting to discuss! LOL) It hurts, it hurts, and nothing stops it. I can't get in to see my doctor until 4:15 Thursday afternoon. That's almost 43 hours away. I hope I can stand it that long. I was prepared to suck it up and let whatever I have run its course, but when there's pain involved, I'm much more inclined to go to the doctor.
I'm watching Judging Amy - don't usually see it, but it just happened to be what the TV was turned to. One story line involved a juvenile who shot his terminally ill grandfather. Turns out his mother (her father is the one who was sick) is the one who gave the boy the key to the gun cabinet and convinced him that his grandfather would be better off dead, that it was for the best. How's that for a royally screwed-up family? Makes mine look positively normal.
I'm going to finish my Wild Turkey and Coke and try to sleep. I hope I can sleep.
I'm watching Judging Amy - don't usually see it, but it just happened to be what the TV was turned to. One story line involved a juvenile who shot his terminally ill grandfather. Turns out his mother (her father is the one who was sick) is the one who gave the boy the key to the gun cabinet and convinced him that his grandfather would be better off dead, that it was for the best. How's that for a royally screwed-up family? Makes mine look positively normal.
I'm going to finish my Wild Turkey and Coke and try to sleep. I hope I can sleep.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Happy Valentine's Day!
Woo hoo. I haven't had a really happy Valentine's Day in I can't remember when. My horoscope said this year's was supposed to be good, but I haven't seen it yet. Oh well, maybe next year. :)
J's latest: Yesterday I was in the kitchen, he was in the living room. I kept hearing this noise, and couldn't tell what it was. I asked J what he was doing. His response? "Spittin'." I went into the living room to find him taking mouthfuls of Crystal Light from his cup and yes, SPITTING them on the carpet. !!!!!!!! That was one of those parental moments where you desperately want to laugh (because it was funny), but know you have to be stern to get the point across that that is not acceptable behavior. I told him we only spit in the sink when we brush our teeth, and most certainly not on the living room carpet. Whatever possessed him to do that, and why do I even try to keep my carpets halfway clean? LOL
And earlier this weekend, K was giving J a bath. J splashed water on K's shirt, and here's the conversation that followed:
J: "Daddy's shirt wet."
K: "Yeah, it's wet because J splashed and got it wet."
J (in all seriousness): "Don't know how that happened."
I'm really concerned that my child is headed for a future in either law or politics. LOLOLOL
I'm tired. Still fighting this crud. Hopefully it will clear off soon, I'm tired of having a stuffy head.
Back to work!
J's latest: Yesterday I was in the kitchen, he was in the living room. I kept hearing this noise, and couldn't tell what it was. I asked J what he was doing. His response? "Spittin'." I went into the living room to find him taking mouthfuls of Crystal Light from his cup and yes, SPITTING them on the carpet. !!!!!!!! That was one of those parental moments where you desperately want to laugh (because it was funny), but know you have to be stern to get the point across that that is not acceptable behavior. I told him we only spit in the sink when we brush our teeth, and most certainly not on the living room carpet. Whatever possessed him to do that, and why do I even try to keep my carpets halfway clean? LOL
And earlier this weekend, K was giving J a bath. J splashed water on K's shirt, and here's the conversation that followed:
J: "Daddy's shirt wet."
K: "Yeah, it's wet because J splashed and got it wet."
J (in all seriousness): "Don't know how that happened."
I'm really concerned that my child is headed for a future in either law or politics. LOLOLOL
I'm tired. Still fighting this crud. Hopefully it will clear off soon, I'm tired of having a stuffy head.
Back to work!
Friday, February 11, 2005
Ancient Chinese wisdom
Today's online fortune cookie:
"A good reputation is more valuable than money."
OK, sure, I'll pass that along to the county tax assessor when he wants to know where my property taxes are. And geez, this one isn't even made any more entertaining by adding "in bed" to the end of it! LOL
"A good reputation is more valuable than money."
OK, sure, I'll pass that along to the county tax assessor when he wants to know where my property taxes are. And geez, this one isn't even made any more entertaining by adding "in bed" to the end of it! LOL
Thursday, February 10, 2005
That's weird...
My last post shows up when I click the Archives link for February 2005, but doesn't seem to show up in Current Posts. ????
Here's a thought: What do you think it means to value someone's opinion? Can you value someone's opinion and still disagree with it? I think you can. K has said a couple of times lately that I don't value his opinion or don't care about what he thinks in situations where I don't agree with what he's saying or don't do what he'd like to see done. I don't think that means I don't value his opinion - regardless of where our marriage ends up, we'll always be J's parents, and we'll always be friends, and I'll always be glad to hear his opinion if he has one to share. But I think you can value someone's opinion, even solicit it, and not have to agree with them or go along with them. What do y'all think?
Almost time to go home - thank God, I don't think I could sit here much longer.
Here's a thought: What do you think it means to value someone's opinion? Can you value someone's opinion and still disagree with it? I think you can. K has said a couple of times lately that I don't value his opinion or don't care about what he thinks in situations where I don't agree with what he's saying or don't do what he'd like to see done. I don't think that means I don't value his opinion - regardless of where our marriage ends up, we'll always be J's parents, and we'll always be friends, and I'll always be glad to hear his opinion if he has one to share. But I think you can value someone's opinion, even solicit it, and not have to agree with them or go along with them. What do y'all think?
Almost time to go home - thank God, I don't think I could sit here much longer.
So tired
What's up with the human alarm clock?! Yesterday J was up at 5:00. He was finally convinced to go back to bed, but still, he was up. This morning I heard him talking starting sometime after 4:00. "There's a fan up there." (Last night he thought the ceiling fan was a ghost. I told him it was just the fan, and he said, "No like the fan." I told him, well, that was too bad, because it was attached to the ceiling and not going anywhere! LOL) "Mama, dropped Percy (one of his Thomas the Tank Engine trains) - Mama, Percy behind bed." (Well, Percy can stay there until daybreak, because I'm not getting up to find him right now.) He'd talk for a bit, then settle down. I'd doze off when he stopped talking and then wake up when I heard him again. Finally, around 5:15 I heard him saying, "Mama, get down - Mama, get down," and I knew if I didn't go see to him, he'd be out of bed before long. So I went and told him it was still dark, it was still time to sleep. He was persuaded to lay back down, but I heard him over the monitor while I was in the bathroom, so I have no idea if he actually went back to sleep. For all I know, he could have been awake non-stop since 4-something this morning.
And I'm tired. I'm not sure if it's the crud I'm fighting off, the allergy/sinus medicine I took (I thought it was the non-drowsy kind, but I'm sure feeling sleepy), the fact that it's getting close to "that" time of the month (which always makes me bone-crushingly tired for a few days), or a combination of all of the above. But I feel like I could just crawl on the floor under my desk and sleep! I've nearly fallen asleep here at my desk a couple of times today - I'd rest my head on my hand, just for a second, and find myself jerking awake a few seconds later. Not good. Whatever's making me tired, I hope it lays off soon.
At least it's almost time to go home. And since I planned ahead yesterday, I've got dinner done - chili, all I have to do is reheat and serve. :)
And I'm tired. I'm not sure if it's the crud I'm fighting off, the allergy/sinus medicine I took (I thought it was the non-drowsy kind, but I'm sure feeling sleepy), the fact that it's getting close to "that" time of the month (which always makes me bone-crushingly tired for a few days), or a combination of all of the above. But I feel like I could just crawl on the floor under my desk and sleep! I've nearly fallen asleep here at my desk a couple of times today - I'd rest my head on my hand, just for a second, and find myself jerking awake a few seconds later. Not good. Whatever's making me tired, I hope it lays off soon.
At least it's almost time to go home. And since I planned ahead yesterday, I've got dinner done - chili, all I have to do is reheat and serve. :)
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Domestications
I've been home cleaning and cooking today (I've got a pot of chili cooking on the stove, yum!), and it's given me some time to think. Always dangerous with a head full of snot, but I've done it anyway. My mother stayed home with me - she retired from teaching after my parents adopted me. But I grew up not expecting to stay home. It's the blessing and curse of being "bright", I guess, but it was just understood that I'd go to college and go on to "make something of myself" - my parents never even mentioned or considered the possibility of any other course for me, and I guess I never did, either. I just assumed I'd grow up and have a career.
And I have, such as my career is. I don't know if I've "made anything" of myself, but I'm employed. So today I've been thinking: If I ended up in another serious relationship or another marriage down the road, and I ended up with someone who made enough that I had the option of being a stay-at-home mother and wife, would I enjoy it? Had you asked me that question five years ago, I'd have said, hell, no. And even now, I don't relish the thought of letting myself become *completely* financially dependent on anyone - I'd still want some source of income for myself, and I'd never give up my law license. But now I think perhaps I could enjoy being a stay-at-home mom, given the opportunity to do so. It's been nice at home today, nice to see things get tidy and organized, nice to have time to prepare a meal without worrying that it's 6:30 and my child is hungry and what can I cook in a hurry. Ah well, this is probably all idle speculation anyway, since I'll probably never have the chance to stay home and see if I'd like it or not. But it's still kind of fun to think about.
And I have, such as my career is. I don't know if I've "made anything" of myself, but I'm employed. So today I've been thinking: If I ended up in another serious relationship or another marriage down the road, and I ended up with someone who made enough that I had the option of being a stay-at-home mother and wife, would I enjoy it? Had you asked me that question five years ago, I'd have said, hell, no. And even now, I don't relish the thought of letting myself become *completely* financially dependent on anyone - I'd still want some source of income for myself, and I'd never give up my law license. But now I think perhaps I could enjoy being a stay-at-home mom, given the opportunity to do so. It's been nice at home today, nice to see things get tidy and organized, nice to have time to prepare a meal without worrying that it's 6:30 and my child is hungry and what can I cook in a hurry. Ah well, this is probably all idle speculation anyway, since I'll probably never have the chance to stay home and see if I'd like it or not. But it's still kind of fun to think about.
How to spend a sick day
I called in sick this morning. I still feel fairly crappy. But it's been a productive day off. I took J to school, came home, cranked up the stereo (found some old mix tapes that friends had made for me in college - talk about a blast from the past!), and cleaned. There's still plenty I could do, but the living room is pretty near spotless - toys picked up, vacuumed, dusted, all that good stuff. I've finally gotten the clean laundry that's been piled on the floor put away, AND I even managed to clean out a closet! Not bad for a morning's work. I may take a break now, though - I suppose I really should rest. It just feels good to have one little corner of cleanliness in my house.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Vodka and Vitamin C
I still feel like crap, so I'm loading up on Tang, liberally laced with vodka. Vodka has medicinal properties, right?
Apparently my sense of smell is gone. I didn't think I'd put that much vodka in the Tang, but I'm pretty loopy right now. I should sleep very well tonight! (I keep having to go back and correct spelling errors.)
I'm taking a sick day tomorrow. I'm going to drop J off at school, put some money in the bank to cover my stupid overdrawn account (yep, it happened again, and payday isn't until Tuesday - my salary sucks rocks), come home, clean like crazy in the morning, and nap like crazy in the afternoon. Sounds like a good day to me.
And now, night night.
Apparently my sense of smell is gone. I didn't think I'd put that much vodka in the Tang, but I'm pretty loopy right now. I should sleep very well tonight! (I keep having to go back and correct spelling errors.)
I'm taking a sick day tomorrow. I'm going to drop J off at school, put some money in the bank to cover my stupid overdrawn account (yep, it happened again, and payday isn't until Tuesday - my salary sucks rocks), come home, clean like crazy in the morning, and nap like crazy in the afternoon. Sounds like a good day to me.
And now, night night.
And another thing...
Went to the dermatologist yesterday for my follow-up, to have my one remaining stitch removed. The nurse looked at my little incision, said it seemed to be healing fine, and took the last little stitch out. Then she put some steri-strips on it to help hold it together and to avoid the need for a big bandage. I was thrilled!!! She said they should stay on three to five days. I've had steri-strips before for surgical incisions, and in the past they've stuck on like crazy - for weeks. Well, I don't know if they used different adhesive for my c-section, but I'll be damned if today I don't have just ONE of those little boogers left. Fume, fuss, fret. So I'm back to gauze and tape. Crap. Oh well, at least it's healing OK, and it doesn't hurt anymore - that's something to be thankful for.
Is it Friday yet? Is it payday yet?! (Don't know why I get excited about that, it's pretty much all spoken for before I even get it. But still....)
Is it Friday yet? Is it payday yet?! (Don't know why I get excited about that, it's pretty much all spoken for before I even get it. But still....)
Ugh.
I feel like hammered crap. I don't know if it's sinuses, allergies, or just the barking crud, but it's something. All I know is, I can't breathe out of my nose, and I hate it. When I have to breathe through my mouth, it always makes me feel like my IQ has dropped about 20 points. Make it stop!!!!!
I'm too congested to even get into any serious thought. I'll get back to that later.
I'm too congested to even get into any serious thought. I'll get back to that later.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Sometimes I wonder...
With all the financial mess that keeps coming up, and with K and I seeming to have to work together so much to get out of the mess, maybe this is a sign from the universe that we should just give up on the separation idea and try to work out our differences. I don't know. But the way things keep happening, I can't help wondering.
Finances suck rocks. Money sucks rocks. Being broke sucks rocks. When does it get better?!?!
Finances suck rocks. Money sucks rocks. Being broke sucks rocks. When does it get better?!?!
Do I ask for so much?!
Just when you think life couldn't get to be any more fun. I finished figuring our income taxes. Not only is there no refund, but it looks like we'll OWE money this year (we're still filing jointly at this point). Oh, the irony - we both took out 401(k) money when we changed jobs, because the cash was needed. And now that's bumped us up into another tax bracket, enough to where we owe. Property taxes on the house are due this month - I don't have the money, don't know where it's going to come from. I've filed bankruptcy, no one will extend me any credit. I don't make enough money to pay my freakin' attorney occupation taxes, and my company doesn't cover them (we get a princely $300 for professional dues and expenses, which barely covers my state bar dues, and doesn't touch local bar association dues and these stupid attorney occupation taxes), so they haven't been paid for 2004. That means I'm now suspended from the practice of law in the state of Texas. I'm not in good standing, therefore I can't look for a job that pays more, because no one will hire me if I'm not in good standing.
COULD LIFE POSSIBLY SUCK ANY MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
(I'd better not say that too loudly, because it probably could.)
All I want is to make enough to pay my bills, take care of J, save a little for my retirement and his education, and not have to constantly stress and scrimp and save and worry about money. Is that so much to ask? Apparently it is, because I can't seem to get it done. Every year money gets worse and worse. It's to the point now where my credit is a wreck, I have no savings (seven cents at last check), I have no safety net (no 401(k) money to borrow against or draw from), so I'm screwed. I don't know what to do, I don't know how things will ever get better, and I'm beginning to doubt they ever will. I'll have to work forever, they'll carry my cold, dead body away from whatever half-assed job I can get when I'm 85, and I'll die penniless, leaving J nothing to inherit but my debts.
And what am I doing at work today? Processing distribution requests from people with trust funds. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I could scream. They call or fax in requests, wanting money for this or that. "I need, I need, I need, I want, I want, I want." And boo hoo, it's never enough. I want to tell them, shut up, you could have to *work* for a living like the rest of us schlubs.
I'm so stressed out, I can't even eat. Not even chocolate. Now that's bad.
COULD LIFE POSSIBLY SUCK ANY MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
(I'd better not say that too loudly, because it probably could.)
All I want is to make enough to pay my bills, take care of J, save a little for my retirement and his education, and not have to constantly stress and scrimp and save and worry about money. Is that so much to ask? Apparently it is, because I can't seem to get it done. Every year money gets worse and worse. It's to the point now where my credit is a wreck, I have no savings (seven cents at last check), I have no safety net (no 401(k) money to borrow against or draw from), so I'm screwed. I don't know what to do, I don't know how things will ever get better, and I'm beginning to doubt they ever will. I'll have to work forever, they'll carry my cold, dead body away from whatever half-assed job I can get when I'm 85, and I'll die penniless, leaving J nothing to inherit but my debts.
And what am I doing at work today? Processing distribution requests from people with trust funds. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I could scream. They call or fax in requests, wanting money for this or that. "I need, I need, I need, I want, I want, I want." And boo hoo, it's never enough. I want to tell them, shut up, you could have to *work* for a living like the rest of us schlubs.
I'm so stressed out, I can't even eat. Not even chocolate. Now that's bad.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
What a weekend.
Friday night I was scared to death at the thought of what could have happened to my baby boy. Today I'm just tired.
I think weekend naps are a thing of the past. The closest we got was today, when J climbed into bed, wanted to read his books, said "night night" - and stayed in bed for about five minutes. I'd gone out to the garage to get something from the car, and suddenly I heard this little voice - "Hey, Mommy!" I said, "Are you going to take a nap?" "No, no nap." *SIGH*
And it's been throwing and going all weekend. No nap, tired cranky boy, insisting on doing everything "by self". My house looks like a tornado hit it, J is learning to drink from a cup and wants to carry one everywhere (thankfully he drinks from his "bitty cup" - the dose cups that come with Children's Motrin, of all things - so the spills aren't huge, just numerous), and yesterday he gleefully pulled off his Pull-Ups, announced, "I have no underpants!" and peed on the carpet. *SIGH* Days/weekends like this, I feel like my life will be chaos forever. I love him dearly, and if anything did happen to him, I'd want to lay down and die. But days like this, he just wears me out.
On the bright side, though, he's learning to say "thank you". And he's even saying "I love you" occasionally. Now that's a day-brightener. :)
I've gotta get some sleep, I'm trying to come down with a bad case of something or other. I've got my follow-up with the dermatologist tomorrow - the nurse can take out that last little bit of stitch, and I can get some reassurance that the incision is healing up OK in the absence of stitches.
To quote my son, it's "night night time."
I think weekend naps are a thing of the past. The closest we got was today, when J climbed into bed, wanted to read his books, said "night night" - and stayed in bed for about five minutes. I'd gone out to the garage to get something from the car, and suddenly I heard this little voice - "Hey, Mommy!" I said, "Are you going to take a nap?" "No, no nap." *SIGH*
And it's been throwing and going all weekend. No nap, tired cranky boy, insisting on doing everything "by self". My house looks like a tornado hit it, J is learning to drink from a cup and wants to carry one everywhere (thankfully he drinks from his "bitty cup" - the dose cups that come with Children's Motrin, of all things - so the spills aren't huge, just numerous), and yesterday he gleefully pulled off his Pull-Ups, announced, "I have no underpants!" and peed on the carpet. *SIGH* Days/weekends like this, I feel like my life will be chaos forever. I love him dearly, and if anything did happen to him, I'd want to lay down and die. But days like this, he just wears me out.
On the bright side, though, he's learning to say "thank you". And he's even saying "I love you" occasionally. Now that's a day-brightener. :)
I've gotta get some sleep, I'm trying to come down with a bad case of something or other. I've got my follow-up with the dermatologist tomorrow - the nurse can take out that last little bit of stitch, and I can get some reassurance that the incision is healing up OK in the absence of stitches.
To quote my son, it's "night night time."
Friday, February 04, 2005
The scare of a lifetime
I picked J up from daycare this afternoon. They have a basket of candies out on Fridays, and we always get one. This afternoon he got an orange candy. It's round, but he's had them before - we always talk about how we lick them, we don't try to swallow them. He's always done just that, held a little round candy in his hand and licked it, making a sticky mess of himself and everything around him. Not sure why this afternoon was different, but we were driving and suddenly he's not talking, not making a sound, and I realized he was choking on the candy. It seemed like an eternity until I could find a place to pull over, the candy would pop loose and he'd just scream, and then it would get stuck again. I was crying and praying and I couldn't stop fast enough. I ran around to the back seat and was able to stick my finger down J's throat to where he threw up a little and coughed the candy up. I threw it away and hugged him and we both cried. He wanted to get down, so I took him out of the car seat and just held him. I have never been so scared in my life. I was shaking after all of this. I think J recovered before I did, he was asking for his water and his tractor and his duck. Sweet baby boy. I asked him if he was OK, and he said, "Hum" and hugged me. I am so, so, so, so thankful that he's OK, words can't even express, and I think we'll steer clear of round candies for a while.
And all night he's been saying, "Orange candy go away!" I tell him, that's right, no more orange candy. I'm crying just thinking about it.
God, I was so scared.
And all night he's been saying, "Orange candy go away!" I tell him, that's right, no more orange candy. I'm crying just thinking about it.
God, I was so scared.
Friday!!!
So glad it's Friday!!! It's actually been a pretty productive day at work, so I think I'm ending the week on a good note. I don't get a bonus this year, which sucks, as I could really use the cash. But what are ya gonna do about that? *shrug*
J is so smart, he just amazes me. He always likes to go around to the front door when we get home, and the other day I told him we couldn't go in the front door, it was raining and we'd get wet. Last night we pulled into the garage, and he said, "Go in front door, not raining anymore!" He also saw a picture on the cover of a book - the picture was of a woman walking through gates, and J said, "That's mommy - mommy wait - mommy have to wait for daddy." I'm stunned that he's making up stories about pictures at not even three years old. What will I do when he figures out he's smarter than me?!
My leg is doing all right - it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did earlier in the week. I'm still going to keep my follow-up appointment with the dermatologist on Monday, as I think there's a little bit of a stitch left in there. I could pull it out myself, but I reckon it's better left to the medical professionals. Besides, I'd like some reassurance that it's healing up OK.
No big plans for Super Bowl Sunday. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to convince J that football *is* fun to watch, or at least get him interested in the halftime show. Otherwise, it will be business as usual at our house. Not that I much care if I miss it, it's not like I'm a big fan of either team that's playing. But I like a good football game, so I'd watch if J wasn't having a cat over it not being Bob the Builder.
Only an hour until quittin' time, woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!
J is so smart, he just amazes me. He always likes to go around to the front door when we get home, and the other day I told him we couldn't go in the front door, it was raining and we'd get wet. Last night we pulled into the garage, and he said, "Go in front door, not raining anymore!" He also saw a picture on the cover of a book - the picture was of a woman walking through gates, and J said, "That's mommy - mommy wait - mommy have to wait for daddy." I'm stunned that he's making up stories about pictures at not even three years old. What will I do when he figures out he's smarter than me?!
My leg is doing all right - it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did earlier in the week. I'm still going to keep my follow-up appointment with the dermatologist on Monday, as I think there's a little bit of a stitch left in there. I could pull it out myself, but I reckon it's better left to the medical professionals. Besides, I'd like some reassurance that it's healing up OK.
No big plans for Super Bowl Sunday. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to convince J that football *is* fun to watch, or at least get him interested in the halftime show. Otherwise, it will be business as usual at our house. Not that I much care if I miss it, it's not like I'm a big fan of either team that's playing. But I like a good football game, so I'd watch if J wasn't having a cat over it not being Bob the Builder.
Only an hour until quittin' time, woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
This sucks.
One of my least favorite things about this job: the complaints. If you screw something up, you get dinged with a complaint. More than 2 a quarter and you're not meeting expectations (which reflects unfavorably on your review). But you're trying to juggle so much, it's almost impossible *not* to get complaints. I understand that if you piss off a client, they're perfectly entitled to call in and bitch about your poor work. But I'm unaccustomed to working in an environment where people are *looking* for screwups and documenting them and pointing them out, and if they don't, their not finding your screwups reflects negatively on *them*. Blech. (Yeah, I got a complaint this morning. Can you tell?!)
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Blech.
That's how I feel today. Blech. No specific reason, just a general lack of enthusiasm.
We had some excitement at work yesterday. The fire alarm went off around 4:35, and we all trooped down the seven flights of stairs to the street level. (Thank goodness we weren't in our old building, we were on the 29th floor there!) There were firefighters there and you could smell smoke, and we were all told to go outside. So we herded around for a bit, and a lot of us decided, screw it, it's close enough to 5:00 (it was about 4:45 by this point), we aren't waiting around to go back in. So I at least got to leave a little early out of the deal.
My leg doesn't hurt quite so much today. It seems to be healing up OK, but I may still go to the dermatologist on Monday. I had the appointment scheduled to take the stitches out. That's not entirely necessary anymore, but it looks like there's still a little bit of one stitch in there, and I'm hesitant to just yank it out myself. At any rate, I'm not ready to run a marathon, but it's not quite the misery it has been, so that's progress.
I've got a crapload to do, so I'd better get back to it. More later!
We had some excitement at work yesterday. The fire alarm went off around 4:35, and we all trooped down the seven flights of stairs to the street level. (Thank goodness we weren't in our old building, we were on the 29th floor there!) There were firefighters there and you could smell smoke, and we were all told to go outside. So we herded around for a bit, and a lot of us decided, screw it, it's close enough to 5:00 (it was about 4:45 by this point), we aren't waiting around to go back in. So I at least got to leave a little early out of the deal.
My leg doesn't hurt quite so much today. It seems to be healing up OK, but I may still go to the dermatologist on Monday. I had the appointment scheduled to take the stitches out. That's not entirely necessary anymore, but it looks like there's still a little bit of one stitch in there, and I'm hesitant to just yank it out myself. At any rate, I'm not ready to run a marathon, but it's not quite the misery it has been, so that's progress.
I've got a crapload to do, so I'd better get back to it. More later!
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